KENSHI
"Do you really have to go, Kenshi?" This was my mother's nth time of asking the same question. And for the nth time, I responded with the same answer. "But we just got you, Kenshi. We don't want to lose you again."
I understood my mother's plea. It was natural for a mother to beg for his child to stay because a mother only wants the best for her child and that was to put them into safety. But a mother also wants what makes their child happy.
"Remember the time when father got into trouble? You and I wanted to go to him, but you knew it would be dangerous for a child like me. So you made me understand that you have to leave for a while so you could get Father. I stayed and waited, because I understood. And I hope you, too, Mother. I have to do this."
Mother diverted her gaze from me with pain written on her face. I knew those words hurt her. She was a mother after all. But I knew she understood as well.
Mother heaved a heavy sigh before returning her eyes to me. A defeated but still worried look was on her face. Her creased forehead and converging brows hinted. "You have to promise me that you'll come back. No wounds. No injuries. Nothing! And complete."
I couldn't help but smile at her request. "I won't go to fight, Mother. I'm just going to meet a person who can help Daku. A peaceful talk, that's all."
"Don't be too complacent, Kenshi. The journey is long, and with that distance, anything could happen on the road-"
"I get it," I interjected. "I'll be careful."
"Good," she agreed. "Go finish packing, and I'll just prepare your rations."
Mother left my room while I continued preparing my travel paraphernalia. I didn't pack much. Just a few necessary things that I thought would be useful along the way. It took me roughly half an hour before I got to fully tie my sack. I swung it over my shoulder and stepped out of my room.
When I reached the living room, I saw Mother, Gresa, and Kenshiro waiting for me by the door. I facade of a smile was plastered on Mother's face, as if she was happy for me for my next journey, but was actually worried that if she could tie me down on a chair, just to make me stay.
As for Gresa, she was obviously upset. Her scowling face made sure of that. She didn't even look in my direction. Meanwhile, Kenshiro's expression was hard to read. He was neither smiling nor frowning. He was not upset either. His face was blank. He just stood beside his sister while holding something with both of his hands.
So, I took this as an opportunity to ask him. I knelt before him for our height to match and spoke, "Aren't you sad for me leaving, Kenshiro?"
Kenshiro shook his head as a response. "If you will see me sad, it'll be hard for you to leave. I don't want to make things hard for you, Brother Kenshi."
No matter how many times I hear it, it still amazes me how Kenshiro's brain works. For him to have such a mature mentality was something that I was proud of, but also worried about. He was just a kid, even younger than Gresa, and yet he already grasped the concept of how expressions could influence others. It took me years before I got to fully understand emotions.
Following that realization, instead of showing him a worried look, I pretended to smile. Now, I understand why Mother was wearing such a facade.
"Seeing you all here to send me off will make my journey easy. Is that for me?" I asked him about the thing that Kenshiro was carrying.
"Yeah," he answered as he handed me the bag. "We all made it for you."
"Thank you, Kenshiro." I messed up his hair, and then I looked at Gresa, who was still not looking at me. "While I'm gone, I want you to hone your sword skills. When I get back, I should see an improvement."
"Don't pressure your little sister, Kenshi," Mother pleaded.
"I know! You don't have to tell me. I make sure to beat you really good on our next duel," Gresa blurted, still not looking.
I smiled and gently patted her head before I stood back up to face my mother. Mother's smile widened, but her eyes told me otherwise. So I gave her a reassuring hug, and it didn't take her a second to hug back.
"Don't forget your promise," she mumbled while shoving her face into me.
"I will never."
***
I never thought time like this would come: leaving my family and my home for a mission as an adventurer. I once envisioned this long ago, before I was exiled and became an adventurer, but that didn't happen as planned because of the curse. But today, it happened. As if fate was ensuring to make the vision I once had before into a reality.
But there was a slight difference. No. It was actually a huge one. I had indeed fulfilled my vision of going to a quest, but that vision involved other people, a party. And what I had right now was the total opposite.
But why am I surprised? I'd been doing quests alone ever since I became an adventurer. What was the difference then to now? However, why am I feeling like I was really alone? I never had a sensation like this before because I had already accepted the fact that I would be alone forever.
Today was different. And among all things, why now? Why now that I have my family back? Why now that I was no longer cursed? Why do I feel like I was missing something... or someone.
Unconsciously and for no reason at all, Kenshiro's voice echoed in my mind. "I think you love him, Brother Kenshi,"
I stopped at my track upon hearing those words inside my head. If I remembered it correctly, I agreed with my little brother's conclusion, but I thought those were just mere words. Something that came out of my mouth impulsively and without true meaning. But now that I thought about it, was it really just mere words, or was it something that my heart really wanted to say, but said it casually because I didn't really understand what it truly meant and what I really felt about it?
"But I do love Daku, but in a friendly way," I mumbled, but for some reason, those words failed to suffice its entire meaning. I looked up in the sky and heaved a sigh. "Do I love Daku in a different way?"
Those questions ricocheted in every nook and cranny of my brain, engraving themselves into my flesh. And in that moment, I knew for myself that I would find myself asking the same question over and over again."
***
I finally reached the city gate and was glad to see Yukio in his usual spot. The moment he spotted me walking towards him, his smile widened while he waved aggressively.
"You're quite lively today," I greeted then handed him the papers, which he gladly received.
"It's something we, sentry, do after a tragedy. Our enthusiasm is believed to boost the morale of everyone. But I'm not saying I'm not happy to see you..." I noticed Yukio's eyes wandered somewhere else as if he was looking for someone. "You're going solo again? I thought you and Daku became partners already."
Upon hearing Daku's name, my mood suddenly dove downwards. I told Yukio what happened to Daku, and it was no surprise to see his mood shift as well.
"I see," Yukio's only response.
"That's why I have to go to Aste City to find this person we believe that we hope can help Daku," I added.
"That's why he's not with you." Yukio puffed an air out of his lungs and handed me back the papers that he had just stamped. "Wishing you good luck on your journey, Kenshi. And don't worry about Daku. As long as I'm the sentry of this gate, he is well protected."
I smiled. "Thank you, Yukio."
After bidding farewells to each other, I proceeded on my tracks to officially start my journey.
"Doing the old ways again?" said an old man's voice the moment I passed through the city gate. I pivoted myself to see it and saw three familiar figures standing before me: Mister Grosi, Kana, and Shino.
"What are you doing here at the gate?" I asked.
"Sending you off, obviously," Mister Grosi replied. "I mean, I'm sending you off. As for these two, they are coming with you."
My brows furrowed. "Huh?"
"We're going to join you on your travel, Mister Kenshi," Kana reiterated.
"Why?"
"Because you don't have to do this alone," Shino answered.
"But how about your party?"
"After Dai died, the four of us agreed to temporarily take a break from questing. His death affected us so much that our recent attack became uncoordinated. We got so used to having Dai in our team that it turned into a mess when he left. So we have decided to recollect ourselves first before we regroup as a team again. And since I couldn't find a way to make myself busy, when I heard about your mission, I didn't hesitate to join."
"And you, Kana? Will it be fine with you to leave Daku?"
"I wanted to stay, of course, but I knew I could do more if I joined you. Besides, Shiro and Master Grosi are here to take care of Mister Daku. Also, this would be a great opportunity to hone my abilities to protect myself better so that someday, you and Mister Daku don't have to protect me anymore."
"Kenshi, you don't have to take this path alone. You are no longer cursed. It's time to get rid of your old habits and start making new ones. I'm sure Daku would say the same thing."