*Clack*
With the sound of the door closing behind nurse Lina, silence descends. Liz and I look at each other, before she smiles and turns to look at the bright scenery through the window.
She does say it, but I can feel it, not only from her, but from myself as well: being alive is good. And after being stared at by the abyss, the brightness of the sun is even better, feeling more precious than ever before.
Even if the feeling will fade later as time goes on and memories fade to become simple, easily overlooked backgrounds, for now, really, life feels good.
After a while, Liz turns to me. She glances at my bandaged leg but says nothing about it. She instead asks about something unsurprising:
"Did he run away?"
Liz lost consciousness well before everything ended. I don't know when. With the haze of the cocktail of emotions at that time, I only recall her despairing when the gun had been turned toward me, then me trying to save her, then that man running after some chaos I'm still trying to wrap my head around.
After that, when I turned back to Liz, she was unconscious, and I held her, just to feel her warmth, just to keep her with me, my whole being clinging onto hope while waiting for help. Help, I don't even remember how I called for it.
So, her question is totally natural, something anyone would logically ask in her situation.
I look down at her stomach, swallow the pain I feel for her, and nod, then follow with a headshake.
"He tried to run away. But he didn't manage to go far."
I don't know how she can remain calm when talking about that man, but I can't. Even using a pronoun to refer to him leaves my mouth full of something disgusting. And it shows on my face, especially when I think about how he got to know Liz. Or, even before that. I feel disgusted thinking he once stood before our doorstep. I would have even been scrubbing those stones he had stepped on if I was not far from home at the moment, and unable to go back right away.
And to think that he got close to Liz, lied to her, then tortured her, and even tried to kill her…
My anger comes back just thinking about those, even stronger than the fear I have felt at that time.
"What happened?"
I look up to see Liz calmingly smiling at me. I take a deep breath, and exhale, before I relax the fists I don't even know I have clenched. My hands tremble for a little before I suppress any movement.
"He crashed his car…"
Liz's calm eyes make me stop talking. I don't know when exactly she lost consciousness, but that could only have been when the tension left her body, and the pain and the traumas got to her. That meant she saw what happened, and only doesn't know if he came back, or if he even survived the gunshots.
I exhale after another breath.
"After… what happened…"
Thinking about that cry that came from my whole being, I exhale again after another breath.
"After he lost his gun, and I shot him, he took some bullets, but not most, and he ran out of the house. He was stumbling like he was drunk, not from the bullet wounds, because at that time, he had yet to lose much blood. Nevertheless, he didn't come back. He took off in his car, but crashed not far away."
"Did his car explode?"
Liz's gentle voice carries some concern, and I shake my head.
"No."
She exhales in relief.
"That's good."
Her concern is not for that man, but for those who could have been the victim in case of an explosion. The corner of my mouth rises up in a small smile at my sister who has come out of what happened unchanged. Then I continue:
"His car didn't explode, but I heard he died on the spot. The paramedics who came for you diverged one of their own to check the accident site."
"Hahaha, I bet you got angry at that time."
The teasing laughter stuns me, before I understand, and I pout.
"I was too worried about you to get angry. And they stabilized you first, before sending someone to check the site of the accident."
"Hm… I'm happy I have a little sister who worries about me."
I glance at her, then roll my eyes. But I smile, because she can tease me, and that means she is not far from being alright. Her good mindset will drive her body to heal better, to heal faster.
We look at each other, and exchange smiles, as if we don't have some things to talk about. But those can wait, and they will have to wait for quite a while, and not just for Liz, and I, to heal.
_ _ _
_ _ _
I am sitting on a bench in the yard I have looked at through the window of my room when I woke up. After I took pity on Liz and shared the meal she used to have served to her patients, she sent me away to get some air and let go of my worries.
I lean back and support my upper body on my hands while looking up at the foliage creating the shadow over me by blocking most of the afternoon sun. The pain from my forearms has turned dull after the piercing spike when I rested on my hands.
That pain comes from the shots I have fired. That makes me think that maybe I should consider learning how to handle a gun. It is not that I think I may need such a skill again someday… though, I really may at some point, when the gates of the abyss will open again, because I know, deep down, and Liz knows too, that those gates have not disappeared. They have not gone away, and they may open again at any time.
I exhale to let my heart calm down. Anyway, if I had known how to hold a gun, the aftershocks from the recoils would not have shaken my muscles like they have been through the press of two rolls pressed together.
The comparison makes a pale smile spread to my lips, before I recall 'Mike' again, and I bite my lip.