A/N: Hi. Lost my notes. Got so shocked I lost my appetite. But don't worry, I've got a good brain, so I won't lose my footing. Remember to support and motivate the little worker bee.
Xoxo
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The movie ended, well, in the way it should have. I can't say I appreciated it, because I barely kept my focus on it. It was for no other reason that Emmie's smell has been more distracting than expected. Like, with my head on her head, her hair right by my nose…
My heart calmed down only slightly, not pounding like a moment before that, but not really back to a placid pace either. Only when the crowd stood up, as the lights came back, did I reluctantly move, and Emmie reluctantly moved too.
Even then, we didn't separate the hands we have interlocked the fingers of. Not when the girl who looked like she could be a university student with her boyfriend stood up and left after a smile at us, not when her boyfriend followed with a perfunctory smile, much less when the majority of the crowd had left.
With the place a little emptier, I look at Emmie, who replies with a genuine smile sweetened by the shift in our relationship. I also smile, and stand up, before I take the lead to follow behind the thinner crowd.
The sky has already started to darken. It is visible through the windows of the mall. The atmosphere inside seems to have evolved into something brighter along with the change in the sky, making the mall warm, welcoming, and comfortable enough to give rise to the desire to stay and enjoy the festive atmosphere, that softer, subtler, but harder to resist desire to spend, to enjoy a splurge.
I shake my head and look at Emmie:
"Are you hungry?"
My voice is not any different from usual. Neither soft nor sickeningly sweet. Emmie shakes her head, her smile the same as it has been in the last hour or so.
"No."
"Then…"
"Let's go to the party."
I pause, then nod. That is why we came out, officially, even though we knew what had remained unspoken.
"Alright, let's go."
We leave the mall, and it is then that we are suddenly reminded of the winter. Not that we forgot, but the mall had kept us so warm and comfortable that our bodies had forgotten the dry coldness outside.
I blink to acclimate myself, and take a breath, but I feel Emmie shakes a little beside me. Glancing at her, she has adjusted her top after our little exchange at the theater, but only her boobtube, not her jacket. The zipper is now lower, making a cleavage for the cold to sneak in and deprive of warmth.
I frown, and don't wait for the red head to react. I pull her zipper up with my free hand, and glare at her when I see her enjoy what may be a reward for her carelessness. But I say nothing. I turn away, and she laughs, before she lets go of my hand and hugs my arm.
I can only shake my head. And I smile, despite myself. There is not much I can do against her, and she has the knack to infect me every time she smiles, laughs, and hugs me.
My heart that has calmed down gets stuffed with that sweet lump again, and presses down its weight in its cavity in my chest, raising my temperature and burning away the calories of my lunch.
With half of my mind on the softness cradling my arm and the weight holding onto it, I let the other half lead us on the sidewalk. We walk instead of hurrying to our destination. Along the way, other couples are also making their way to different destinations, with some lingering as if to stretch the time together as much as possible.
We don't pause along the way. Usually, Emmie would have made us stop to admire the view through the windows of the shops, jumping excitedly and commenting on this and that, while lamenting about her inability to buy whatever enticed her either because of how expensive the holidays have turned them, or simply because of how inappropriate it would have been.
But today she is just calm, and happy.
We might have walked to school if not for the distance, and the fumes that have made the streets olfactory senses destroyers. So, when we reach the park a few hundred meters from the mall, we do what many other couples have done. We leave the sidewalk and take the small paths illuminated by the short lampposts.
They are brighter than usual, as if, like the rest of us, they have donned their best garments.
The silence is only relative in the park. It is teeming with life, but apart from some brightly laughing, or loudly arguing, most whisper whatever they want to say.
As we walk, we don't determine any destination. We simply follow the paths, and I take the ones with the fewer people each time. By the time we are halfway across, the area has become silent, discreet, so much so that we can hear our breaths, and soon, our hearts, which start beating louder, faster, stronger.
Our breathings start losing their calm in sync, and the shadows on the sides seem to call us. The call grows stronger with each step, the allure of the trees digging at the heat in our hearts.
Tacitly, we shift our trajectory, not following the curve of the silent path anymore, until we take one of the small passages between to leave the path completely. Our movements become more hurried, and we stop beneath the tree at the edge of the light and the darkness.
The shadows clad us, burying anything other than the exciting desire to savour the shift in our relationship again, like at the theater, if not deeper.
We look at each other through the darkness, its presence seemingly unable to hide the light in our eyes. I don't push Emmie against the tree. I guide her, and she let herself follow my lead.
With her back against the hard bark whose coldness she can not feel, Emmie breathes hard but softly as I lean in, our gazes looking nowhere else.
The distance closes slowly, while inversely, our hearts beat faster, until my lips falls onto hers, and she opens her mouth, welcoming me with less of that happy excitement from before at the theater, but more of that passion that feels like when we were in bed, but less superficial, less raw, deep enough to feel like a hot ocean that can devour me, a deeper one, a rougher one, one with thicker water that want to swallow me, to drown what we have become.