The sun is going down, but we still have time before the party. Hand in hand, Emmie and I walk to the mall just some distance from the park. What happened just now has changed something. It has brought something between us, and even Emmie, usually vibrant and energetic, is savoring the shift.
Her smile is as happy as earlier, with some subtler to it. Seeing her like that, I almost wonder about something.
Sometimes, pushing for comparisons is to attract attention on something considered better. So when Emmie whispered to me to try having a boyfriend and being in a relationship when the popular boy I somewhat violently massaged the nuts of flirted with me, was that her intention?
She even teased me with Elijah at the gym more than once.
I look at her, and she glances at me.
"What?"
I shake my head at her smiling face and turn to our destination that has never been far. Inside, I shake away the thought of reading her mind. Even though I have enjoyed the convenience of that ability brought by the accident, I have also made sure to restrain myself, especially with Emmie, Helene, and everyone actually, unless I think it is needed.
I can't even read Liz's insulated mind, and I have always tried to respect others' privacy. Except for learning at school, or in cases like our former chemistry professor. Not even for my part-time job have I broken that rule to keep myself from losing myself, and, well, energetic, instead of being exhausted like an overly stressed sleep deprived girl.
Reading minds really is the best way to tire oneself. Unless, the thoughts are broadcasted by the owners themselves, which I take advantage of at work, and when bored. Because, karma is already hitting me all the time with threats of my head aching in noisy environments, so I guess being compensated is the right way to go.
I pause in my thoughts when the temperature shifts from the change in environment. Before I can look around, Emmie let go of my hand and cling onto my arm before pulling me to the escalator.
She has noticed my absentmindedness, and I also notice that I have become more introverted since my life changed, even more than before, since I have never been as outgoing as Emmie, making us good complements for each other since long. Nevertheless, I have also come to think too much.
Is that a way to keep my mind busy and distracted from the waves of thoughts flying around?
"Max, come! I will get the popcorn and you will get us the tickets, alright? We meet at the entrance."
"Okay."
I nod, and she runs away. It is like the warmth inside the mall has restarted her overexcited engine. I smile and turn to get the tickets too. The mall is as crowded as the park. Not many spend the holidays at home.
I go to the machine, and bring out the codes Emmie had sent me after choosing the movie. Soon, we meet at the entrance after she waves her hand high to make me notice her, and we step inside the theater.
I ask as we sit down.
"Why did you choose this movie?"
Emmie puts the popcorn between us. She laughs before she starts eating.
"You will see soon."
I glance at her. She… is being more assertive than usual. Or she is settling in her new role.
I can't help but roll my eyes. At that moment, the lights dim, bringing a stop to the conversations taking place around. The movie she has chosen is about to start. Seeing her focused look, I laugh at myself and pick up a handful of popcorn that I push in her mouth when she opens it in surprise at my sudden action.
She glares at me, but unable to waste it, chews on it with vengeance and swallows it with a huff as she turns away.
I laugh silently. However, as the movie starts, I notice something. Rather, some excited waves filled with anticipation overpower my ability to mute the mental noise. It leaves the background to come at the forefront.
'Good, it is starting.'
'From here, we are not obvious. Nobody will see us.'
'Did he choose a romantic movie to kiss me here?'
'I hope we don't attract attention, but my heart is already beating fast.'
I pause, and I look around. That is when I understand where the flaring emotions are coming from. That is when I notice that actually, most of the moviegoers around are couples. And wrapped in clothes thick enough to ward off the cold of the snow deprived winter, something else has come from inside to make them feel warm like it is summer.
I finally understand what Emmie was alluding at. I should have understood way earlier. I sink in my seat as the movie goes on, watching only distractedly, distracted by the waves around.
However, my hand crawls to rest on the armrest between Emmie and I. And it remains there, alone, but not cold, instead, warmed up with its own strand of anticipation.
My heart remains calm. But a hand wraps around mine at some point, and my heart reveals what it has been hiding behind the calm appearance. It doesn't pound with force, but with painful softness, the kind that appears when the anticipation inside is overflowing, with a dash of nervousness, and a sprinkle of something mildly electrifying.
With that, I can't be bothered with the couples that start getting touching in the theater, even as the waves filled with enjoyment and passion fly around. Just that simple contact makes me something different from the raw, lustful excitement we have shared over the last months.
Gulp.
It is that nervousness at the start of a relationship. And it is with a girl.
I can't hear Emmie's heart, but I can feel the excitement bleeding off her. While leaning back, we subtly start leaning over each other, and soon, our heads touch. That contact seems to bring us more awareness of each other, and we turn, slowly, but without hesitating or second-guessing.
Our foreheads touch, our cheeks brush each other, and our lips… They graze each other and make us feel a softness that hungry lust has never managed to let us feel the subtleties of.
We pause, our chests heavy with heat, gaze at each other, then lean in, joining the crowd whose emotions are flying high with the festiveness of late December.