"Suspect anything?"
"I mean, it's going to look strange if I can't sit down on table for breakfast."
"You should have thought of that before the slap."
Her face pinched with worry. "I just don't want it right now. I want you to fuck me and lick me and bugger me. I want to enjoy it, not have my bum aching the whole time."
Lucifer gave her a warning look. "I think you've forgotten what you need most, little girl. You'd better be careful."
"I know what I need most. I need you."
His eyes darkened. "And you're going to get me. Stand up."
"Lucifer, please, no. I'm sorry."
"Get your arse up and turn around. Now."
Hermione's brows knitted together as she slowly lifted her hips.
She felt so empty without him.
It made her stomach churn.
Standing, she faced the bed.
Lucifer's hand cracked against her bum with surprising force. She gasped and pulled away.
"Go stand in the corner while I think."
Hermione sighed and looked around for an accessible corner.
The one to the right of the door seemed the best choice.
She walked around the chair and waited.
"Nose in the corner," he said, not moving.
'He can't even see me. How does he know?' Hermione put her nose against the wall and suddenly felt very foolish.
The handprint on her bum was tingling hot, and anger started to ball in her belly.
'Am I not allowed to have a say in this? Why do we always do what he wants?'
She simmered for several minutes before the other voice in her head started its arguments.
'Since when do you not want him to punish you?'
'Since I haven't seen him in nearly three weeks and just want him to fuck me senseless.'
'You probably shouldn't have slapped him so hard then.
It wasn't that hard!'
'Then why was your hand tingling?'
'Bugger. I did apologize'
'I'm sure he appreciated that, but you should have just accepted the consequences without argument.'
'Bah! Shut up, you. My bum is finally healed, and you want him to mark it up again.'
'You want him to mark it again too.'
'No, I don't. I want to kiss him and hold on to him while he fucks the living daylights out of me.'
'You should have kissed him instead of slapping him then. Lucifer seems like the kind of person who needs more kisses and less slaps in his life.'
'Well, great! Way to make me feel guilty.'
She had to have been standing there for at least fifteen minutes.
Hermione hadn't heard him move once. 'How can he stay so damn still? What could he possibly be thinking about for that long?'
'He's probably wondering if you're worth the hassle.'
'Dammit, don't say that. He cares. His last letter almost made me cry. Fuck!'
"Lucifer?" she whispered.
"Yes?"
He didn't sound cross. If anything, he sounded sad.
Tears pricked the back of her eyes, and she blinked hard to restrain them.
It didn't work. Her eyes burned; a tear coursed down her cheek.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. Her face crumpled; she tried not to make a sound.
Hermione heard him approach.
His voice was right behind her ear when he spoke.
"I know. I'm sorry too. I should have thought about what you needed first. I wasn't thinking clearly earlier. I apologize."
Hermione sniffed her running nose. "O-okay, but I don't know what you're talking about."
Lucifer smiled at her confusion.
All he wanted to do was calm her, but he needed to wait until the time was right.
His hand clenched in a fist to keep from stroking her back. "You were right about needing me, but you need a very specific part of me to be happy. Do you know what that is?"
"Your cock?"
He had to physically wipe the smile off his lips before he spoke so she wouldn't hear it in his voice. "No. Why did you come to me all those years ago? What was the first thing you asked of me?"
"To spank me."
"Yes, and do you know why you liked it so much?"
"Um . . ." She sniffed again. "Lots of reasons."
"MmHm. But one reason had the biggest effect on you. The same theme runs through every fantasy you have, one simple thing that calms you down and gets you wet every time, even when you don't want to get wet. Do you know what that one thing is?"
"Yes," she said, suddenly understanding.
"What is it?"
"You being in charge."
He nodded. "That's right. It's your loss of control that has that effect on you. Even when the pain makes you scream, your surrender is a comfort. You are no longer responsible—someone else is calling the shots. Do you know why you like that so much?"
"No."
"Because every other part of your life is planned to the nth degree. You work hard, and success is the only option you give yourself. You are so in control of every aspect of your day that you are dying for someone to take the reins so you can let go. And sex is the perfect outlet for that. There is freedom in your submission."
"Now, you are force to be reckoned with, Hermione. I love that you have a mind and aren't afraid to use it. I love that you don't back down to arrogance and evil. I love that you fight for what you believe in and go after what you want. But just as there's a part of you that wants to submit, there's a part of me that wants to dominate. I desire your surrender. I want you begging me to control you. I like to push your limits and see your face burn with embarrassment."
"Watching your arse turn red is the very embodiment of that feeling. Your craving for humiliation is matched only by my desire to fulfill it. Causing you pain is not the source of my pleasure. It is your willingness to accept it and beg me for more. Furthermore, I could fuck anybody and get off, just as you can get off with inanimate objects. It isn't the outcome that keeps me coming back to you, it's the process."
"When you moan and buck under my tongue, you are under my control. When you beg me to bugger you, you are begging for my command. Even when you're on top, riding my cock, you are doing so because it pleases me. I am telling you all this because it seems that even after all this time, you do not understand what it is you need from me. You think it's the sex, which I agree is outstanding, but it is secondary to that first, basic need."
Hermione remained quiet.
She'd stopped crying and was staring blankly at her feet.
It felt as though he'd just cross-sectioned her brain and laid out all her thoughts for dissection.
She didn't know what to think.
"Our needs fit well together, Hermione. I need this as much as you do. I will discipline you, and you will accept it because it is what you need. You want to be punished because it is the one time you can put your anguish on display. It can't eat at you if it's been made evident on your flesh. Anyone can say they're sorry, but you know that nothing cleanses your conscience like a sore bottom. Now, I want you to think about all that for as long as you need to. When you're ready, I'll be in the chair. Come and tell me what you need."
Hermione heard the floor creak as he walked back to the chair.
Thinking about it wasn't necessary.
He'd described her perfectly. He knew everything about her, even things she didn't know.
The only thing keeping her in the corner was the fact that she felt too raw.
It felt as though she'd been hacked to bits, and she didn't know if she could take a spanking while so exposed.
Nothing had happened yet, and already she was drained.
The tears started again, except now they were more emotional exhaustion than guilt.
Lucifer heard her shaky breathing start again and winced.
Crying was a release, and he didn't usually mind it when she cried from a punishment; she needed that release.
Physical pain was emotional.
But listening to her cry alone in the corner because of what he'd said was different.
Getting out guilt was one thing, but having your innermost desires picked apart was quite another.
It was one of the reasons he kept his brain shut.
Hermione cried until she didn't have anything left, then she wiped her cheeks and sniffed hard.
She wished she had a tissue or something; her face was a mess.
The back of her hand would have to do.
Taking a deep breath, she walked to the side of the chair to see him.
Lucifer sat quietly, staring straight ahead, still naked. His cock had gone limp, and she felt bad that his balls would be blue.
She wanted to climb in his lap and hug him—make him hug her. 'Later.'
"Sir?"
"Yes?" he said, staring at the strange pattern on the quilt folded at the end of his bed.
"I . . . I . . . " She hadn't thought about what to say. "I need to be punished."
He sighed in relief.
There was always the chance that she would run from the knowledge—run from what he knew.
"Can you tell me why?"
"Because I tried to take control, and I want you to take it back."
Lucifer looked at her. He didn't know a single sentence could turn him on and crack open his heart at the same time.
"Very good. Are you ready now, or do you need a minute?"
She took a deep breath. "I'm ready, sir."
Lucifer nodded and moved to the edge of the seat. "Get over my knee."
Hermione felt as if she were in a dream as she pressed against his lap.
Crying had left her disoriented, and the floor didn't seem entirely stable when she put her hands on it.
"I think ten for the slap and ten for the arguing sounds fair. They're going to be hard. You knew better and ignored my warnings. You don't need to count, but I expect a thank you when it's over."
He inspected her bum before starting.
There were only light, thin lines, almost invisible, left from the exit of penthouse.
(And the handprint. But that would be faded tomorrow, along with most of what he did that day.)
xxxxxx
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