Chapter 82: Here to Give Me an Answer?
Shota would like to say the two weeks that passed since the hero classes began their license exam training weren't chaotic. He really would. But then he'd either be lying, or living in some fantasy land.
That's not to say his students haven't been productive. The opposite, in fact. They did everything their teachers asked of them. They evolved. The class stepped-up how they use their quirks, came up with ultimate moves, even upgraded most of their equipment.
And if it was just that, Shota would be more than content. The problem is his class has also been productive in other ways. Whether that was finding new ways to destroy their dorm, or test his sanity. At least Cementoss got overtime for fixing the buildings.
And so did the electricians who came to fix the school's power after Kaminari accidentally overloaded it one night. As did the movers who replaced the couch after Tenko decayed it by mistake after losing a game.
There are also the carpenters who fixed the wall after Aoyama blasted a hole through it, the gardeners who patched the grass when Todoroki simply tried to assist his class in starting a bonfire, the plumbers when Ashido accidentally melted the toilet.
The carpenters again when Midoriya tried to teach Doug how to do a backflip in his room, and the Nomu fell through the floor. The security guys who had to install new sensors when they found out Uraraka and Tokage were floating through the dorms to sneak into their boyfriend's rooms.
At least the health class Midnight gave them all seemed to scare them a little.
Yes, everyone is getting extra pay. Except for him. Shota already has a proper presentation almost ready that he plans to show Nezu to request his raise. And if that doesn't work, he plans to buy out all of the tea in a one-hundred mile radius and hold it ransom over the rat's head until he gets his raise.
Unsurprisingly, Midoriya has already agreed to help him with his plan.
Wait, since when did he start working with his problem child on schemes like this? The kids are affecting him more than he thought. The horror.
But all of that leads him to tonight. The evening before the license exams. A small part of him hopes, as he walks to 1-A's dorms, that his students are studying and getting their proper rest before tomorrow. A much larger part of him knows that's not happening.
Case in point, the sound of dirt bikes approaching him as he nears Height's Alliance. Alone, that's a concerning sound to hear on UA's campus. The sounds of gunfire that accompany them? Doubly so.
Around the corner from over a hill, two students ride speeding toward him on, he guessed it, dirt bikes. The one in the back fires paintballs at her target from guns mounted on the handlebars and wheels. The small silver lining is that they're both at least wearing helmets.
"Stop using your powers to dodge!" the pursuer yells.
"You're just mad I can do more with my powers than you can with your quirk!" The one in front takes out a pistol and starts firing paintballs wildly behind her.
"Yeah, I am! So take these paintballs like a man!"
"I'm a girl!"
"Doesn't matter!"
Shota doesn't move, even as they race toward him laughing. It's when he's a few seconds from being hit does the first rider notice him. "Oh crap!" she shouts. He merely raises an eyebrow.
One of the students cuts her wheel hard, causing her bike to wipe out and in the process, and forces the other rider to crash.
Shota sighs. As a teacher, he supposes he should do something. He whips out his capture weapon and catches both girls before they can tumble too hard across the ground. He can't say the same for their bikes however.
Not that it affects them as both Kamala and Kendo seem to still be in good spirits when he lets them go, the pair laying on the ground. Both girls laugh even as they're covered in a mixture of cuts, dirt, and paint.
"Wow, those were some nice skills from the girl that's 'born to ride,'" Kendo teases, elbowing Kamala and taking her helmet off.
"Okay, maaaaybe I overestimated how good I am with bikes!" Kamala sits up as well, ripping her helmet off. "But the self-proclaimed 'Queen of Bikes' crashed same as me!"
"Only because you crashed right in front of me!" Kendo argues. "Because you couldn't see a tall man standing in front of you!"
"Have you seen him!" Kamala waves her hands at Shota, who is still being totally ignored by the girls in every other way. "He's dressed like a ninja and it's night time! Anyone would've missed him!"
"I wouldn't have," Shota decides to say.
"You don't count!" Kamala points at him before whirling back on Kendo. "And not everyone has fiery hair that shines in the dark like you!"
Kendo's competitive look slips. She brushes her hair. "You think it does?"
Kamala reels back like she's been punched. "I-I- well yeah- but like- you know-" she stammers, her own face starting to glow a bit in the dark.
Shota facepalms. Fucking teenagers.
Kendo recovers first. "W-well none of that matters because you still lost!"
Kamala calms down a bit. "No I didn't! You've got way more paint on you!"
"Then we still gotta settle this." Kendo jumps back to her feet. "What are you thinking? Bikes or fists this time."
Kamala jumps to her feet as well. "I've got a better idea." A lightbulb turns on over Kendo's head as both girls yell at the same time.
"Both!!"
"We joust with our bikes-" Kamala starts.
"And enlarge our fists and use those to try to bash the other off!" Kendo finishes. "Where did the bikes go-"
"If I can say something before you two give yourselves a concussion?" The pair of girls look back at Shota. The shock on their faces confirms they forgot he was there. "Is this really the proper example the president of class 1-B and our guest hero should be setting for the other students?"
Kamala stammers again, but Kendo steps forward. "With all due respect sir, with how hard everyone's been training lately, Midoriya and I felt it was important the classes had the chance to unwind and work off some of the stress before the exam."
"And that gave you permission to ride dirt bikes around campus?"
"Oh no, sir. We got permission from a teacher first."
Before Shota can ask who, the sound of new dirt bikes, gunshots, and yelling distracts them, and he watches again as another rider wipes out near them. "That was totally dirty!" he complains.
"Nuh-uh!" Hatsume slides to a stop, the sole person remaining on her bike. "None of you know how to unlock my baby's full potential!" She rubs her bike, whispering compliments to it.
"That's because you didn't tell us!" Tensei whines, sounding less and less like the full grown adult he is. He takes off his helmet and tucks it underneath his arm, shaking his hair back into place. "Oh, hey Shota," he greets him with a smile. "What's up?"
After adding his additional duties of babysitting adults to his presentation for Nezu, Shota finally makes his way into the 1-A dorms where, to his utter not-surprise, a good portion of the class is downstairs.
What might be a shock is that Shota says nothing, choosing to lean against the wall and observe instead of ruining anyone's fun. As he already said, the students have done what he requested and more. Even he likes a restful nap after a long night on the job. If heroes need time to unwind, why wouldn't heroes-in-training?
That's what he'll keep saying to himself instead of admiring how proud he is of them.
Tensei, Kendo, and Kamala rush to join the large group in the living room sitting around the TV playing video games. Other small clumps of kids hang around the space, some of them with their own small TV's to use on the various tables.
"Hey!" Kirishima runs downstairs. "Anyone seen Midoriya?" Shota wonders the same thing.
"Bathroom!" Kaminari answers from one of the tables with Melissa next to him.
Yaoyorozu stands from the couch. "Is there something I can assist you with, Kirishima?"
"Maybe?" He sheepishly laughs. "I was practicing some grapples with Bakugo upstairs and remembered Midoriya had some ideas on a few I could do? Did you know what those were?"
"I don't recollect off the top of my head, but let's find out." Yaoyorozu gestures to a notebook the green-haired boy had left on the kitchen counter.
While she opens it and reads what she finds to Kirishima, Shota checks the rules book next to it. "Impressive. No rules added today." He gazes up at Yaoyorozu as Kirishima thanks her and heads back upstairs. "But I believe there is something in here about you not being allowed in the kitchen."
"Yes, there is!" Midoriya skips across the room to Kaminari and Melissa. "It was the first rule in fact!" He reaches his cousin, sitting across from him. "In fact, some might say she was the first one to add a rule…" He finishes, his smirk so big Shota can see it from across the room.
Yaoyorozu blushes a little in embarrassment. "I may have… overestimated my abilities in the kitchen after having a personal chef my entire life. But that doesn't mean-"
"Overestimated?! You set it on fire!!"
"I think that's a slight exaggeration-"
"There were flames! And you had to make oxygen masks for everyone downstairs! Todoroki!" The poor son of Endeavor, who looks like he had just been crossing through to get a drink from the fridge, is caught in the crossfire. "C'mon, you know fire! Tell her it was huge!"
"The kitchen incident? Yes, it was-" Todoroki stops when he spots Yaoyorozu giving him a pleading look, her eyes big and hands folded together. "I…" He hesitates. Looking back and forth between them. "Yes, I'd say those claims were exaggerated. Nothing more than a little smoke." Yaoyorozu smiles gratefully, causing Todoroki's eyes to widen and for him to turn away. He doesn't look like he regrets it however.
Modoriya slams the table he's at and jumps to his feet, turning himself into a Stormtrooper. "Traitor!" He falls back down, reverting back to normal. "Doesn't matter anyway. You still got a rule added first, winning me the bet!"
"Yes, I am aware." Yaoyorozu sounds like she wishes she could be saying anything else. "And I intend to honor it."
"What'd he win?" Jiro scoots past her, looking for a snack in the cabinets. Considering she hadn't been present until this moment, Shota would make a large bet she was eavesdropping.
Yaoyorozu sighs so deeply, it sounds like it's escaping from her very soul. Shota can sympathize. "Midoriya and I discussed organizing a beach day for the class, but the swimwear UA provides isn't exactly made for relaxation and leisure. Coincidently, it is also the only swimwear Uraraka owns."
Jiro slams the cabinet. "He didn't."
Yaoyorozu crosses her arms. "He did not. I did. I offered to take Uraraka shopping for… let's say a more flattering bathing suit if he won."
Jiro snorts, covering her mouth while the other girl desperately tries to defend herself. "You have to understand, I was just trying to entice him into the bet! We all know how reckless he is; I thought there was no possibility he'd ever win!" At this point, Yaoyorozu is shaking a Jiro who is howling with laughter.
"It. Isn't. That. Funny!"
"Yeah it is, dude!"
"You mentioned the beach trip was for the entire class?" Todoroki questions after giving Jiro a minute to calm down.
"Yes, that's right," Yaoyorozu confirms.
Todoroki hums, lost in thought for a moment. "All I own is my UA bathing suit as well. Could I-" he clears his throat. "Could I have your help in finding a new one?"
Yaoyorozu seems taken aback by the request, her cheeks gaining a dusting of pink. But while she figures out what to say, Jiro, kind of timidly, speaks up. "Y-yeah. The only pair I got is pretty old… I could use your help too…" she looks down. "If you don't mind."
Yaoyorozu becomes redder. "I…" she swallows. "Yes, of course! I'd be delighted to help you both!"
Having seen enough, Shota pushes off the wall. He has places to be soon and helping his students sort out any feelings they may or may not have is out of his purview. He makes his way past the living room to see Tensei having a serious conversation with Shinso. Maybe it's about actual heroics?
"What do you mean no one's taken it?!" Shinso asks incredulously.
Tensei laughs. "Sorry, it's true."
"Check again, I know Midoriya has it!"
The older Iida shakes his head in amusement. "Nope, sorry. I've checked with the Rider multiple times. No one, not even Midoriya, has your soul."
"But he has too!" Shinso rebuffs. "Look at the facts. I never wanted friends. Midoriya comes along and suddenly, I have friends! What does that tell you?"
"I don't have your soul, Shinso!" Midoriya cuts in from across the room.
"Well, you sold it to somebody because that's the only explanation I have!"
"…Would you be mad if I said I thought you looked friend-shaped when we first met?"
Shinso's deadpan stare finds its way from Midoriya back to Tensei. "Is it too late for you to take it?"
Shota will have to ask him later what the answer was. Until then, the underground hero finally reaches Midoriya's table, where he's playing Yugioh with Kaminari while Melissa takes notes. The little demigod uses his illusions to make the cards come to life in front of them. "Pretty tame activity for you?" Shota raises an eyebrow.
Midoriya shuffles the cards in his hands incessantly. "Not everything I do is chaotic, sensei. That would make me predictable."
"It's why he lost the Sports Festival," Kaminari snickers. The dirty look his cousin sends him only makes him laugh more.
Before Shota can say more, Melissa's head shoots up for the first time. "I think I got it!"
Midoriya and Kaminari crowd her notebook excitedly. "You did?!"
Melissa hums, showing them some designs. "Yes, after seeing the game in action, I think I can make those duel disks you guys want." The two demigods cheer and high-five, thanking her. Melissa smiles, excited for the challenge. "As for that other thing…"
She turns the page, and Shota barely contains his groans when he sees more motorcycles. "I think working off the upgrades Mei has done, I can eventually combine them with bikes like you wanted."
"You aren't allowed to ever go back to America!" Midoriya points at her. "Do you know what this means Denki?!"
"I do!"
They both inhale. "Card games on motorcycles!!" they cheer.
Shota glances back at the papers. Wow, it looks like they could easily get themselves killed with this stuff.
So naturally, he says nothing to stop them.
"That'll have to wait," he interrupts his students. "Midoriya, I need you to come with me. We have an appointment."
The green-haired boy looks outside, where it gets darker by the minute. "Now?"
"Yes, now. We should only be a few hours at most." He crosses his arms. "Believe me, I am not thrilled with leaving Eri in this chaos, but we would not be leaving if it wasn't time sensitive."
Midoriya gets up, still a little confused. "Where are we going?"
The first thing that hits Izuku is the smell. Just like a hospital. Sterile. Meticulously cleaned. The white floor and walls don't help him differentiate the interrogation room from any other room he'd find at a hospital either.
He just hopes this conversation is anything but an interrogation.
"We will be monitoring you the whole time. You are allowed to end the conversation at any time you wish, but this might be our only chance to get any info out of him."
Izuku nods at Tsukauchi before the detective shuts the door behind him, several heavy clicks indicating he's locked inside with the room's inhabitant.
Not really knowing what to expect, Izuku takes a seat on an uncomfortable metal chair and rests his hands on what he assumes is a cold table. He can never tell. On the other side of both the table and thick pane glass separating them, sits a boy a year younger than him with dirty light-brown hair. He wears an orange prison jumpsuit and is handcuffed to the table.
Mustard stares at Izuku, not saying a word. He wouldn't say the other boy is staring hatefully at him per say, but more curiously with a side of a bit of annoyance. Whether that's at Izuku himself or their surroundings remains to be seen.
When another full minute passes in silence, Izuku decides he has to be the one to break the ice. Pretty easy work for a frost giant. Ugh, Izuku, don't make puns in your head. "So…" Mustard remains silent. Terrific start. "They told me that you've only said one thing since being arrested."
He continues when Mustard fails to respond. "You gave them my name." Still no reply. "They're hoping you'll tell me where the League is hiding." Izuku leans back in his seat. "I have a feeling that isn't why I'm here."
"No, it isn't." Mustard finally speaks! "I don't know where they are, and I wouldn't tell them even if I did." Izuku takes a page out of the villain-boy's playbook and stays silent, waiting for him to continue. "They tell me I'm going to be headed to Tartarus soon." Izuku tries not to let his discomfort at that show on his face. "So this is my last chance to ask you something."
"Ask me what?"
Mustard leans forward, the chains of his handcuffs rattling beneath him. "How?" He takes a shaky breath. "How can you have a power like mine and no one be afraid of you?"
Well Izuku might as well be isekai'd to some fantasy land because that question just hit him like a truck. He tries the simple answer to start. "Because I use my illusions for misdirections and pranks, not to show people their fears and hurt them. I use my power to make people laugh."
"But that's exactly my point!" Mustard almost yells, frustrated. Izuku notices his voice is a lot higher-pitched than the last time they saw each other. Mustard tries to stand, but his chains don't let him get too far off the chair. "You get to make people laugh because they allowed you the chance to do that! Everyone I knew got as far from me as possible when they were told what my quirk could do. They didn't even ask what I wanted to use it for! No one ever gave me that chance!"
A buzzer sounds over them. "The prisoner will remain calm and in his seat or this session will be terminated," a guard instructs Mustard over the intercom.
The younger illusionist glares up at the ceiling before throwing himself back into his seat. He tugs on his handcuffs a little, taking a breath. "How come you got the chance to do what you wanted with your power, and I didn't?" Mustard asks quietly, head down.
"…I don't know." Mustard's head shoots up in surprise to Izuku's answer. "I don't know," the green-haired boy repeats with a little shrug. "I got lucky I guess? Who knows how I would've ended up if I was in your situation."
Mustard's face twitches slightly, as if he's trying to keep any emotion from showing. But his constant clenching of his hands betrays him. Izuku's nice and doesn't mention it. "It wasn't nearly as bad as you, but I grew up pretty isolated too. It was basically just me and my mom with the occasional visit from my dad growing up."
He has Mustard's full attention, so Izuku continues. "Because I had no one to talk to, I made some… clones. They can think for themselves, independent of me. A lot of people tell me that's a really bad sign for my mental health but hey, I'm still going," he chuckles darkly.
Izuku will promptly not be telling anybody that even his villainous counterpart looks alarmed at that. "I made most of them from accidents and sheer loneliness." His face twists. "I remember one time growing up, my mom got caught in the middle of a villain attack and she got hurt. Bad."
He wrings his hands together, his foot tapping under the desk. "I went to the hospital to see her, and I remember just being so angry. I was mad at the villain who hurt her. Mad at the hero who didn't stop it. Mad that the hospital wasn't making her pain go away. And mad at myself. I ran to so many villain attacks growing up to take notes and didn't get hurt at a single one, but my mom ends up at one and she goes to the hospital? Why couldn't it have been me?"
The demigod swallows some of his more dangerous emotions threatening to spill. "I manifested my tenth clone that night, Anger. He usually yells at people for me now," Izuku snickers a little.
"I didn't even think it was possible for you to get mad in the first place," Mustard laughs a little, before catching himself and wiping his smile off his face.
Izuku smiles. He's not gonna let Mustard off the hook for that one. The other boy knows he's caught and goes a little red in embarrassment. "Why are you telling me all of this?" he asks, eager to move on.
The demigod fondly thinks back, relaxing a little. "It's going to sound corny, but my friends."
"If you're about to tell me about the power of friendship, I think I'd rather go back to solitary confinement," Mustard flatly says.
Izuku makes a face. He didn't know Mustard was isolated. Maybe he could talk to Tsukauchi about that? He shakes his head. "I know it sounds like it's straight out of a shonen, but it's true!"
Mustard scoffs, but it's on the smaller side at least. "I used to get these really bad clone panic attacks where I'd just be overwhelmed by clones' thoughts and emotions," Izuku explains. "I found that pain was usually the best way to pull me out of them, so I'd tug on my hair. But leading up to UA, they were getting worse and the hair pulling wasn't working anymore, so I thought about other ways I could calm myself down."
He rubs his wrists. "But I never got there. I got to UA, met my friends, and haven't had an attack nearly that bad since." Izuku takes a deep breath. "That's what I think you need. That's why I'm telling you all of this. I think you need friends. Or at least, people who aren't afraid of your quirk around you."
This time, Mustard doesn't try to hide his laugh. "Well that's some wonderful advice," he exclaims sarcastically. Izuku notices he's back to using a deeper octave of his voice again, like he did during the training camp attack. "Look at all my potential friends here!" He gestures around him. "Hey Midoriya, perhaps you could help me a little more? Should I approach the murderers first to be my friend? Or the terrorists? I bet the pedophiles wouldn't mind, but that just feels too easy."
"I'll be your friend."
Again, Izuku's words stun Mustard into silence. "What?" His voice is back to normal.
"You heard me." Izuku smirks a little, enjoying the bewilderment on the other boy's face. "I'll be your friend. You have to start somewhere. And I think I'd be better company than a serial killer." Mustard doesn't say it out loud, but he at least looks apologetic for his last outburst. "Plus, it'd be fun to talk to someone else who can make illusions. I know I have my dad, but he doesn't really 'get' a lot of things I want to do."
When Mustard still seems too stunned to speak, Izuku leans forward. "What do you say? I know Nezu can get me in to visit you while you're in Tartarus."
The door behind Mustard opens, and a heavily armored guard walks in, standing behind Mustard. "Time's up." Izuku does a double take.
The guard begins to undo the chains connecting Mustard to the table, fastening them together so he could walk the teen back to his cell. Izuku sighs, not sure if he had any affect on-
"Okay." He almost didn't hear him. Izuku looks up, staring at the boy who had just quietly agreed with him. "Okay, you can visit." He won't look at Izuku. "'Cause yeah, it would be kinda cool to talk to someone else about illusions I guess."
He totally knows he'd blow his cover by making illusions of fireworks in this quirk-inhibited room, but part of Izuku still thinks it might be worth it.
"Sounds great!" The son of Loki gets up too. "And don't worry, I'm sure I won't be your only friend." He walks to the door but stops, turning around. Mustard expects him to tell him something else, but Izuku looks up at the guard instead. "Take care of him."
The guard says nothing, roughly pulling Mustard out of the room.
"I see them! They're coming!" Deadpool crouches behind a bush, using the cover of night to aid in his hiding. "Just like I was the first time I watched the Shallows."
"Huh?"
He peers down next to him, where Eri adorably crouches next to him, despite not needing too. "I- nevermind. Force of habit." He shakes his head. "There's a couple of layers to that joke and I'll explain them to you when you're older."
He can tell Eri has no idea what he's talking about, but she trusts him anyway. "Okay!"
"Good, but keep your voice down!" he whisper-shouts, throwing the hood of the little girl's black jacket over her head. "They're almost here." Eri nods as the two watch in silence for a minute. From the darkness of the grounds, a pair of silhouettes appears. Their targets walk along, lightly unaware of their stalkers.
But that would soon change. "Remember what I taught you?" Deadpool asks in a low voice. Eri nods, shifting her feet, ready to run. "Okay, you take the runt, and I'll get the big hairy one. And if anything goes wrong, you leave me behind and haul ass out of there, okay?"
"I can't do that-!" Eri starts to shout but Deadpool covers her mouth, shushing her.
"You have too," he pleads. "I have a healing factor kid, you don't. So no matter what happens, promise me you'll get somewhere safe?"
"But-" Deadpool gives her a stern look through his mask. "Okay…" she finally agrees, even if she isn't happy about it.
"Alright." He pats her head. "It'll all be alright. You'll see. Now get ready…" The figures get closer. "Hold." Their targets are right on top of them. "Almost there." They walk past them, seemingly unaware. "Just a little more." The other pair start to walk away. "Now!"
Deadpool and Eri burst from their hiding spot. "PIGGYBACK AMBUSH!!" They yell their battle cry in unison, hopping on Logan and Laura's backs respectively.
Laura, for her part, laughs and readjusts Eri's legs under her arms to carry her easier. "Hola."
"Did we scare you?" Eri giggles.
Laura responds with a sympathetic smile. "No…" she admits. "We heard you way before we got to you…"
"Not to mention smelled ya." Unsurprisingly, Logan doesn't help Deadpool at all, who hangs off the other man like a braindead sloth.
"Oh yeah?" Eri challenges, undeterred in their doomed mission to scare the pair of mutants. "We can still do this!!" She tugs as hard as she can on the back of Laura's neck, but the other girl doesn't budge.
"We both know I'm stronger than you too…"
Eri struggles for a few more seconds to pull the other girl down, but when she doesn't budge, the unicorn switches tactics. She swings herself onto Laura's side so she can see her grinning face. "You might be stronger, but who gets the better grades on Mr. Ecto's tests?"
Eri's grin only grows wider as Laura turns to glare at her. "Say that again," Wolverine's daughter threatens.
As she projects the absolute pinnacle of innocence, Eri replies, "You also get really really mad really really fast."
"You know, I might not be able to stab you," Laura says in a low voice, leaning in. "But nothing's stopping me from punching you in the face." Eri yelps as she's swung down to the ground, the two girls wrestling.
"Awwww," Deadpool coos, watching them from Logan's back. "Laura has your anger management issues, isn't that sweet?" Much like Laura did to Eri, Logan swings Wade in front of him. Unlike Eri, the Merc with a Mouth has his ribs met by Adamantium claws.
He yells in pain. "Oooooooh! Yeah. Way to prove me wrong!"
"Keep going." Wolverine places his fist in between Deadpool's legs. "See what happens."
"Oh, now we're talking. We fucking or fighting?"
"Wade, I swear-"
"I'm getting naked either way. I just wanna know."
Shota raises an eyebrow at what he witnesses in front of a dark Height's Alliance. To not even a little bit of his surprise, he isn't wrong. Wolverine throws a groaning Deadpool onto the ground in front of them. The Underground hero doesn't ask why he's holding himself in between his legs.
"And Eri?" he inquires. Without a word, Laura lifts Eri by her ankle into the air. His adopted daughter is upside down, but that doesn't seem to bother her in the slightest as she bites down on Laura's arm. "Do I wanna know?" he asks Logan.
"Probably not." Wolverine crosses his arms.
Shota hums, tilting his head down to Deadpool. "And how is taking Eri outside in the middle of the night while most of the school is sleeping keeping her safe?"
Deadpool slowly rises to his feet, sucking air in between his teeth in pain. "Ow that- ow! That didn't even feel good in a painful way." He shakes his legs a little, wincing a bit before looking up at Shota. "Oh that? Eri couldn't have been safer." Laura places said little girl down on her feet.
"You'll excuse me if I have trouble believing that."
"No no, I mean it," the Merc tries to placate him. "Here I'll prove it." He takes out a silenced pistol and before anyone can react, Deadpool points it at Eri and fires.
Because, despite what movies may tell you, silenced weapons are still very loud, the gunshot reverberates around the campus. The sound fills Shota's ears, creating a whistling sound that travels through his head and out. And after it does, the world comes back to him.
"Eri!" Shota drops to his knees, pulling on his capture weapon. His tired eyes are more awake than ever as he searches the little girl for her wound, ready to try and stop the bleeding and run her straight to Recovery Girl.
"Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?! Follow the blood, I have to- wait, where's the blood?" Slowly, Shota starts to regain control of his breathing and back up to actually look at Eri, who stares back at him with her big red eyes. No sign of pain whatsoever. "You're alright…?" He asks breathlessly.
Eri looks down at herself, searching to see if she had been shot either. "Um… yup!"
Shots sighs in relief, pulling her into a tight hug. He lets himself enjoy the outward show of affection without having to worry about any of his students seeing and teasing him about it later. He'd hate all the paperwork he'd have to do for all of the extra detentions they'd get.
"See? What'd I tell ya?" All too soon, Deadpool's voice cuts into their moment. "She's fine."
Shota ends the hug and looks up. "Are you fucking insane?!" he growls.
"Depends on who you ask. All of the voices in my head say I'm just the best! Except for the ones that hate me. Which are all of them. Huh, I guess none of them say that now that I think about it." Deadpool looks back at a very not amused Shota. "Ohhhhh! You're mad that I fired a gun in the middle of the night!" He holds up the pistol. "What? I used a silencer."
"That is NOT what I-"
Shota's hands reel back when the black jacket Eri had been wearing starts to move. The fabric becomes more viscous until out of the back, Venom's head appears, spitting out the bullet. "Not the worst tasting bullet I've ever eaten I suppose."
"Thank you, Venom!" Eri hugs the head, not forgetting her manners.
"Of course, child."
Shota looks back and forth between Eri, Deadpool, and Wolverine, waiting for some type of explanation as to what's happening. Deadpool is the first to answer the call. "Hm? Oh, right. Venom doesn't need sleep. Tokage does. So they both agreed to lend it to Eri at night if she wants to go out to help keep her safe." He elbows Shota. "Nothing wrong with a little extra protection, I always say."
"That's right," Venom adds. "Setsuna also promised me first dibs on Overhaul's pancreas…" the symbiote licks its lips.
As he's already said, it's been a long, very long day. And Shota expects tomorrow to be even worse. So instead of trying his luck, or trying to understand the leaps of logic Deadpool must use, he decides to be thankful Eri is safe, and retreat back to his apartment before the night gets any worse.
He stands, taking Eri's hand. "It's time for bed."
"Can't I say good night to Mido first?"
Shota looks down, ready to argue, but when he stares into those big red eyes, he knows he's lost… again. Which is how he finds himself walking back into 1-A alliance to find not his only problem child, but the biggest one. The kid just came in here a few minutes ago, he should still be awake.
And Shota does find Midoriya. In fact, he does such a good job at finding Midoriya, he does it several times. Mainly because sitting all around the living room, watching tv, are most of Midoriya's clones.
"Hi sensei!" they all call out.
He should've gone back to his apartment when he had the chance.
Shota silently asks Eri for mercy, but she seems intent on getting her goodnight from the boy who rescued her, so Shota toughs it out. "I'm not playing this game," he tells the clones, pouring how tired he is into his voice. "Which one of you is the real one. Tell me now, or I start choking each of you until I find him."
"Oooh it's a mystery!" Four hangs upside down off one of the chairs. "And payback for what you did to Izuku earlier! Now you have to be the one to ask each of us a series of questions-"
"The real Mido isn't here," Eri says sadly.
As a group, the clones' hearts melt. "And just like that, the game is over," Two sighs. "Eleven, go get Izuku." The other clone nods and runs upstairs.
"Aw man," Four groans before losing his grip and falling on his head. "Ouch…"
"I really don't wanna know," Shota begins. "But what the hell, while we're waiting, why are you all out here in the middle of the night?"
"We usually are!" Seven responds cheerfully.
"We don't need to sleep like Izuku does," Two explains, "so we decided to come down here and hang out! Watch movies and whatnot. And eventually we formed the Night Gang! For anyone who doesn't sleep to join!"
Shota has… many follow up questions, but the one he wants answered most is strange, even to him. "If none of you are real, how do you turn on the TV?" Curse his impulsive need for logic.
"That was a problem for us too." Two rubs his arm. "But then we got a new member!"
"Hi sensei!" Dark Shadow waves at Shota from a corner of the room, remote in claw. "Thanks for putting Fumi on the second floor!"
Shota exhales slowly. "I guess you don't need to sleep either?"
"Nope!"
"Finally! We're back!" Venom jumps off Eri's back and scurries over to the living room, the symbiote looking like a blob of slime with a head. "Now we can continue our stories!"
"Saved you a spot right here!" Dark Shadow pats the spot next to her.
"Wonderful!" Venom crawls the chair, attaching itself to the armrest. "Did I miss anything?"
Dark Shadow nods, hitting play on the tv. "House figured out who he was trying to remember on the bus. And get this, it wasn't the driver, it was Amber!!"
"No!!"
"Yes!!"
Shota pulls Eri a bit closer to him. Where the hell is Midoriya? "Anyone else part of your little group?" Shota questions the clone, hoping he wouldn't instantly regret it.
He does.
"Oh hey." Shinso walks out of the kitchen, mug in hand. "What are you guys doing here?"
"I can ask you the same thing." So Shota has almost a dozen clones of one of his students, a quirk, an alien parasite, and a student not even in his class all hanging out in his dorms at night. Sure. This is his life now. "Don't you have your own dorm to be in?"
"Be careful what you say." Shinso walks past, plopping on the couch and stretching out. "Midoriya told me he's working on a solution for that."
"I am!" Like the monster in a horror movie, Midoriya jump scares them with his presence. He happily skips down the stairs with a clone by his side. "So Sensei, if you ever come back one day, and there's an extra room on the second floor, I'd just ignore it."
How long until this class graduates? "Say good night Eri, we have to go."
"Good night, Eri!" she parrots, taking his words literally and jumping into Midoriya's arms, the pair laughing at her joke. Right. Even after the class graduates, Eri all but considers Midoriya a brother. Which means Shota is probably stuck with him forever.
Hooray.
Sarcastic celebration aside, as he watches Eri laugh and tell Midoriya a joke, Shota admits to himself that maybe, just maybe, he can tolerate that if he gets to keep seeing that girl smile.
"Alright, I'm here." Deadpool shuts the door to Izuku's room behind him. "Gotta say, having me in your room in the middle of the night instead of your girlfriend? Kinda lame, kid."
Izuku chuckles, turning down the show he has playing on his TV. "Sorry Uncle Wade, I just wanted to ask you something real quick before our exam tomorrow. I mean, before I get my license. If that's alright? Ow!"
Izuku rubs the spot where Deadpool flicked his head, the Merc falling into Izuku's desk chair. "We've talked how many times over the years? And how many times have I told you that it's always alright?"
"I know I know." Izuku sits on his bed. Jeff's head pokes up from where the Land Shark has been curled up and sleeping. He wags his fin happily at the sight of Izuku and hops into his lap, getting comfortable. His owner rewards him with pets. "It's just-" Deadpool gives him a warning look. "Nevermind."
"Good!" Wade spins around in his chair. "So what'd you wanna ask? Wait." He stops, pointing at Izuku. "This isn't about what happened in the Southwest is it? Did they call you? I told Ignacio over and over again that I had nothing to do with that Whistleblower's death! He died from sudden onset of bullet to the back of the head."
"I- wait, what? No no, this has nothing to do with that!"
"Oh, alright." Deadpool proceeds to start spinning again. "Carry on."
"Okay. It's like this. How-" Izuku thinks for a moment. "When do you-" he hesitates again. "Um. What I'm trying to say is… wow it's been a crazy couple of weeks, huh?" He laughs nervously, leaning back against the wall. Jeff whines a little, trying to offer him more comfort.
"When you have a mind like mine, every waking moment feels like a dream. Or a nightmare." Deadpool continues to spin.
"I know what you mean sometimes." Izuku scratches the side of his head. "These last couple of weeks have just been a blur, haven't they? Moving into the dorms, training for the exam. Not to mention everything else that happened."
Izuku conjures a new dagger, its blade a sleek black metal while the grip is dark green. He holds it next to the one his dad gave him. "Look at the new dagger I got. And Uncle Thor was nice enough to cover it in a clear coating of Uru for me." He slides the blades together, creating a spark. He's careful not to burn Jeff. "I didn't want him to actually change anything about it."
He exhales, dropping his arms. "I definitely almost crossed the line a few times these past weeks, but my friends were there to pull me back." He smiles down at his new dagger.
"You're stalling," Deadpool sings.
Izuku sighs, knowing he's right, and vanishes the daggers away. "Yeah, I know." He slaps his cheeks a little to hype himself up. "Uncle Wade, you've killed a lot of people, yeah?" Deadpool stops spinning. "I was hoping you could give me some advice?"
"On what?" Deadpool spins around to face him. "On how to do it? Or how to work up to killing someone? Because if it's that, the advice is pretty simple. Start with killing things that aren't human. Ants, cockroaches, CEO's of insurance companies, raccoons. You know, stuff like that."
Izuku snorts at his uncle's antics. "You're always so casual about this."
Deadpool shrugs, leaning back against the desk. "That's because it's no different than anything else bringing you down. Restaurant got your order wrong? Got into a car accident? Murdered a couple of dozen members of a Swiss Cartel? You just make jokes about it and pretend it's okay and eventually, it will be!"
"But that's what I do already!" Izuku counters, cracking a small smile.
"Oh, well shit." Deadpool flips one of his pistols into his hand. "Sounds to me like you're ready to start killing now." He offers the weapon to Izuku. "Go get 'em tiger."
"Uncle Waaaaade."
"Alriiiight." He takes the gun back. "I'll get you one of these days." He cups his mouth, whispering to the readers. "I can't be the only one who thinks this fandom needs more 'Izuku with Gun' stories, can I?" The Merc laughs.
"You know, I've seen you do that a bunch of times but I've never asked." Izuku tilts his head. "Who are you talking to?"
"What do you mean? I'm talking to them." Deadpool gestures to the readers. "The people reading this fanfiction."
Izuku follows where Deadpool is looking. "Uncle Wade, there's nothing that way but my door."
"No, I'm serious. Look." He leans up, encouraging Izuku to do the same. Jeff grumbles a little bit and readjusts himself. Deadpool points his nephew's face right where he wants him to look. "See? The readers are right there! Just beyond the screen. I'm looking right at them! Especially you! Yeah, you! In the back reading in the bathroom. Flush the goddamn toilet; I can smell you from here!"
Izuku strains his eyes, really trying, but shakes his head. "Sorry Uncle Wade, all I can see is a door." The pair return to their original positions. "So you think we're in some fanfiction?"
"I know we are," Deadpool stresses. "But that's not where we're originally from. I'm from comic books and you're from an anime."
"How come we're not from the same place?"
"It's a crossover."
"Oh." Izuku tries to figure out exactly what that means or how that works but gives up. "So wait, people really watch an anime about me?"
"Well, not you you but the anime version of you, yes."
"I feel like you're making this needlessly complicated."
"You're the one asking."
Shaking his head, Izuku tries an easier question. Hopefully one that won't make his head hurt this time. "Uh, is my anime popular?"
"Very."
"Wow." Izuku nods, not exactly sure what to do with that information. "I can't believe people would want to watch an anime about me. Or I guess the anime version of me?" he asks. Deadpool nods. "Wait, you said we're a fanfiction, is that popular?"
"It got bigger than the author thought possible."
"That's so cool," Izuku replies, a little giddy. "So is my anime ongoing?"
"The anime is. The manga ended not too long ago."
"Oh, okay. Was the ending good-"
Izuku cries out when he suddenly finds Deadpool covering his mouth. "Are you crazy?!" he hisses. "Are you trying to start a fight?! Ask something else!"
Deadpool doesn't let go until Izuku nods. He takes a breath once his mouth is free. "Sorry," he apologizes. "Okay, what about Ochako? Did we end up together in the anime too? I'm sure everyone really wanted me to be with her-"
Again, he finds his mouth covered. "Do you have a death wish?! Well, do you?! Because if you do, you might as well ask if Aizawa is a good teacher, if you could've really become a quirkless hero, or if All Might should've told you yes or no on that rooftop?!"
"What, mmph, rooftop?"
"Okay, no more questions tonight!"
Deadpool lets him go and retreats back to his chair, while Izuku wipes his mouth. "So-" Uncle Wade hums, "it's not about my 'anime.'" Izuku air quotes. Deadpool allows him to proceed. "So does talking to those imaginary readers help you get over all of the people you killed?"
"Imaginary?!" His uncle reels back. "Don't say that. They're right there!"
Izuku huffs, taking a slow breath. "Well I know I at least got that part down. I talk to the voices in my head all of the time."
As Izuku looks away, his face twisting to try and not show how upset he is, Deadpool sighs. "Do you really want my opinion?" The son of Loki turns back, nodding excitedly. "You're not gonna like it."
"That's okay."
"Alright." Uncle Wade takes a breath. "You asked for it. Maximum effort." He puts his finger inside his pistol's trigger guard and spins it around. "Kid, my opinion is I'm the last person you should ask. At best, I can tell you what not to do."
When Izuku still looks at him expectantly, Deadpool nods, gazing at the gun he twirls around his finger. "If you wanna get over any people you kill then you gotta know how you're gonna feel." He stops the gun and points it at his head. "You're gonna hate yourself. Even more than usual."
The green-haired boy hangs off his words, so Deadpool makes something explicitly clear. "I'm gonna say it one more time. What I'm about to tell you is what you should not do, okay? Don't do it. This is not good advice. It'll be terrible. Stay away, capeesh?"
After making sure Izuku nods again, Deadpool points the gun to his own chest. "You're gonna want to internalize that hate. Let it fester. Start eating at you. Like a cancer. Then you keep killing. More and more. Tell yourself it's all you're good for now. Make jokes to mask the pain. Kill some more. Joke some more."
He goes back to spinning the gun. "And repeat for years and years. And eventually you'll realize you're good for more than just killing! You're also only good for making jokes! Because that's how everyone will see you. So much so that there's no way you can show anyone how much you're hurting now! If they realize the funny joke guy is in pain, what good will he be to them then?
"After that," Deadpool stops the gun, the barrel pointing at his face, "you've got no choice but to keep letting the hate eat at you." He drops the gun on Izuku's desk and reaches up for his mask. "It'll turn your whole existence into pain until finally," he takes off his mask to look at Izuku, his scarred and disfigured face on full display. "It consumes you."
The room falls silent with the exception of the ceiling fan. Izuku doesn't need it to stay cool, his body does that on its own, he just likes the sound.
He could count on one hand the amount of times he'd seen his uncle take off his mask. And it was always when they were alone. And always to punctuate his point. Like when he helped pull Izuku out of his first clone panic attack, or showed him how rewarding it was to make others laugh, even when he couldn't himself.
The green-haired boy knows it's never easy for him when he does that. And Izuku hopes one day he can show his uncle his full appreciation. But until then, he can offer him a sincere, "thank you."
"Don't mention it," Uncle Wade shrugs him off, waving the gun in the air. "And remember what I said."
"That's what not to do."
"That's right. I know it can be tempting to try and make yourself as glorious as this physical specimen in front of you," Uncle Wade gestures to his whole body. "But don't."
"I'll try." The two fall into another silence after that, this one much more comfortable as Izuku decides to make his uncle happy and go along with what he was saying before. "So, those readers you were talking about…" Deadpool perks up. "Can anyone talk to them or just you?"
"No, you can!" He waves in the direction of the door again.
"How?"
"Here." Izuku leans forward again and Deadpool excitedly jumps up, turning him in the direction of the readers. "There. They'll read it. Just say something."
"Uh…" He glances at Deadpool who gives him a thumbs up. "Thanks for reading!"
Deadpool groans loudly, falling back into his chair. "You are such a kiss-ass."
"What? I really mean that!"
"I know!" Deadpool pushes on his knees, getting back up and holstering his gun. "Anyway, if there isn't any more terrible advice I can give you, kid, how about I try a good one? Get some sleep. Or the Boogeypool will get you."
"…Is that just gonna be you-"
"Of course it's gonna be me."
Izuku laughs, pulling the Merc into a tight hug. "Thanks, Uncle Wade."
Deadpool hugs him back, ruffling his hair. "Anytime." He puts his mask back, gives Jeff a few apologetic rubs for interrupting his sleep, and the two tell each other goodnight before Wade leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.
Out in the empty hall, Deadpool sighs deeply. He rubs one of his eyes, slowly dragging his hand down his face. He lets the sound of his textured glove rubbing against the fabric of his mask distract him. Finally, his arm flops down as does his head.
He thinks back to the conversation, playing it over and over before shaking his head. He looks back up, peering around him, and realizes the readers are still with him. "What?" Deadpool asks, tired. "Waiting for another joke?" He sighs and walks down the hall, leaving.
"Here to give me an answer?"
Shota ignores Emi waggling her eyebrows at him and sits as far from her as possible. Unfortunately, the section of seats that had been reserved for the teachers in the exam arena isn't large, and Ms. Joke easily finds her way next to him.
"I already told you no," Shota responds. None of the other teachers play them too much mind, already used to their antics.
"Okay, rephrase!" Emi giggles. "Ready to give my marriage proposal the correct answer?"
"Never."
Emi pouts, but unlike Todoroki last night, Shota isn't so easily persuaded. So she changes tactics. "C'moooon! Your students clearly approve! I thought the arena windows were gonna break with how much that pink girl was squealing when I first asked outside!"
"It's still no."
"Okay, how about just a date?" Emi asks, her more subdued tone making her sound more genuine. And he knows she is. "It doesn't have to be anything crazy. Just two friends catching up over coffee. I feel like there's so many things you aren't telling me!"
"You wouldn't believe me if I did."
"Try me," Emi challenges, her face no different than if she was facing any villain on the street. He glances at her but quickly looks away. "What about that green-haired kid? Was that the one you were complaining about but that you secretly like from last year?"
Shota opens his mouth, but Emi cuts him off. "And don't you dare say you don't! I know you better than that!" He growls, keeping his mouth shut. "And what was that he said about your daughter now having a mom?"
Shota activates his quirk. "No."
"Nope! I'm not letting this one slide!" She shakes him a little. "Who's Eri and when can I meet her?!"
"Not happening."
"You can't say no to this one! Shouldn't a mom get to know her daughter?" Emi quips, laughing.
Shota is saved by the sounds of alarms going off and all of the students emerging onto the arena floor below them, targets placed across their bodies and rubber balls in their hands.
"Saved by the bell, but this isn't over!" Emi slaps his shoulder, still laughing and turning her attention to the kids. The exam counts down as the rest of the classes start to slowly approach 1-A. But his class doesn't move at all, staying huddled together.
"Oh Shota…" Emi grimaces. "You didn't warn your class, did you?…"
It's Shota's turn to laugh, his low chuckles drawing both the attention and horrified looks from the rest of the teachers.
"Shota?" Emi asks, worried.
He looks up at her, an evil smile starting to form on his face. "No, I didn't warn them. I did something far worse."
Izuku's cloak billows in the wind of the arena. A green aura surrounds him as he reaches back, pulling his hood over his head.
Ochako mirrors her boyfriend, pulling her hood over her head as power engulfs her. She shoots her ten rings into the air, expanding their size and having them slowly rotate around the entire class
Blackwhip coats Tenko's arms and legs as they start to glow with the power of One for All.
Tenya and Aoyama exhale, placing their new helmets over their heads.
Shoji clenches his fists, Stark tech armor covering all of his arms.
Sero pulls his mask over his face.
Todoroki and Bakugo unholster their guns.
Shota's wicked grin takes its full form. "I didn't warn your classes about mine."
The Prince of Mischief smirks back at his class. "Everyone ready?!"
"Yeah!!"
The start bell rings.
Izuku turns back around. "Then let's cause some mischief!"