Chapter 63: Ass-Kickers of the Fantastic
"Ahhhhhhhh!!"
After doing his best impression of his uncle's old goats, Izuku, along with most of his classmates, land hard on the ground, some sort of rubbery surface, after having the floor literally opened up beneath them.
The green-haired boy gets to his hands and knees, shaking and panting, his hair somehow messier than usual. "It feels like I've been falling… for three weeks!!"
Getting over how it took so long to land, Izuku looks around, but can't see too much of their surroundings. If he has to guess, he'd say they are at the end of a large tunnel, with the only path out being covered in darkness. Around him, most of his classmates slowly get themselves up.
Denki sits up next to him as Izuku falls back onto his rear, the blond's hair frizzled and electric sparks surging at random points on his body. He snorts. "Let's do that again." Denki sighs, slumping onto his back.
"Deku!" Bracing himself and jumping to his feet, Izuku catches a gently falling Ochako in his arms, his girlfriend having used her quirk on herself as everyone fell.
Bakugo lands on somewhat unsteady feet, taking a few steps forward when he touches the ground as his explosions had helped him control his descent. Kirishima holds his hand out to him and after a brief 'tsk,' Bakugo helps him up. Yaomomo touches down next, a jetpack on her back and a pair of cable guns in her hands that she had used to grab both Jiro and Todoroki mid-air to prevent their fall, lowering both her companions steadily down.
"You're okay," Ochako says to her boyfriend in relief, placing her hands on his shoulders. "With how calm he was, I figured Aizawa-sensei was behind whatever that was but-"
"One semester in and you're already tired of surprises?" Izuku guesses, grinning.
"YES!!" Ochako nearly screeches, causing the other teen to have to hold her closer so she doesn't accidentally float away. "The USJ! Hosu! I-Island! How many times can villains ambush us in a single year?!"
"Depends on how aggro they really want to be." Tenko sits up, rubbing his head. "Hopefully they're not just using us to grind for XP." The decay user looks down at his hand before looking around in horror. Thankfully, he quickly finds Tsu next to him, the frog girl uncurling her tongue from around him as it had been used to keep them close during the fall.
"Awwww!" Mina and Toru coo at Izuku for some reason, with Clone Thirteen behind them giving him a thumbs up and taking a picture. What are they-
Oh.
…Oh.
He's holding Ochako. The pair hasn't let go of one another since Izuku had caught her on her way down. And there he is. Still holding her bridal style like it's nothing because it literally is; Ochako had yet to deactivate her quirk.
Both coming to the same realization at the same time, Izuku and Ochako's faces burn bright red, neither of them nowhere near used to getting attention from their class. Izuku fights the instinct to just let go of the girl in his arms, even if she wouldn't technically fall.
This would turn out to be his downfall as Ochako, in her panic, immediately pulls her hands in, slamming her fingers together and turning her quirk off. Her reaction time and reflexes are something to be admired, but probably a little less so when Izuku, who is still carrying Ochako, isn't ready for the weight to come back so soon and falls back, pulling the brown-haired girl with him to the ground.
"S-sorry," Ochako groans, lifting herself up and somehow getting even redder as they both realize she is on top of him and how close their faces are.
"Now kiss him!"
"Mina!" Ochako shouts back, horrified at the idea of doing that in front of everyone.
"It's alright!" Toru scoots closer to her pink friend. "Just go ahead and pretend you two are alone and you don't have nineteen pairs of eyes on you!"
"Uh…" Shoji raises two arms.
"Oh, my bad! Twenty pairs of eyes!"
"What about me?!!"
"Do you even have eyes, Dark Shadow?!"
"Not technically but I'd like to be acknowledged!"
"Oh…" Ochako slides off Izuku, clutching her stomach, much to the teen boy's relief. He quickly sits up and crosses his legs, trying to slow his breathing. "Between falling and using my quirk, my stomach doesn't feel good…but I don't wanna do that in front of the class…"
Ochako can't stop herself leaning over and hurling briefly. She opens her eyes after, ashamed and expecting to see horrified looks from her friends but is met with confusion. Looking down, she wonders why they're- "rainbows? But I don't puke rainbows!"
Izuku whistles innocently, totally not drawing attention to his glowing hand. Ochako gives him a grateful smile.
"Seriously. Dude." Denki says flatly, raising his hand above his head. "You need to stop. Boyfriend standards are already way too high. It doesn't help that you can't keep raising them."
"I'm just doing what anyone would do," Izuku shrugs. "Besides, at least Tokage didn't see?"
"I guess that's true-"
"I just texted her. Ribbit."
"Tsu, why?!!"
"Because it's funny to me."
Tenko snorts, looking down at the frog girl. "I like this side of her."
Tsu's eyes widen a fraction, returning the look Tenko is giving her before shifting her gaze back onto Denki. "Suffer." Tenko laughs while the blond buries his face into his hands.
"Midoriya! Kaminari! Uraraka!" Iida speeds towards the sick girl and the alien cousins, bending over to check them for injuries, while Momo makes some medicine for Ochako, offering to help clean up her mess. "Are any of you seriously hurt?! Do you have any trouble moving any of your extremities?!" He lifts Izuku's head, opening up his eye a bit. "How many of me are you currently seeing?!"
"Five."
"I knew it! There is something seriously!-" Izuku pokes Iida before he can spiral too out of control, pointing behind him. The bespectacled boy turns his head, finding four duplicates of himself, all with the same stern face. "Ah." He coughs into his hand, his face going a little red in embarrassment. "You would seem to be okay."
"Great." Shinso gets to his feet as well, stretching his arms above his head. "Now in a class of hero students, I can't believe I have to be the one to bring this up, but shouldn't we be asking ourselves some important questions?"
"I completely agree!" To everyone's surprise, it's Toru who answers. "Shinso is right! I thought from the Sports Festival that all you did was brood, and you'd give Tokoyami a run for his money, but you're right! We should be asking ourselves one thing!" Shinso glances at Tokoyami, who shrugs the comment off. Dark Shadow appears and runs a claw under her neck threateningly. Brooding is their thing and no one is going to take it.
Toru runs up to Tsu. "Your phone works in space?!"
Shinso facepalms. "No. How about we start with how in the hell we survived that fall in the first place?"
"I have been thinking about that as well." Yaomomo straightens. "Going back to Midoriya's original comment about the length of time it took us to reach the ground, I believe that whatever artificial gravity is being used on this…" she swallows, "space station…was used to control our descent. Combine that with the floor clearly being made of something that is not metal, I can see how we could plausibly survive…which is one of the only things I can explain right now?" She looks around in concern.
"Still working on the part where we were somehow teleported here from Earth?" Jiro raises an eyebrow, a slight smile on her face.
"Yes," Yaomomo chuckles, "I still haven't quite figured out that one."
Much like before, a speaker above them crackles to life, followed by a loud screech of audio feedback as well as some patting on the mic. "Hello? Hey, Rocket, is this thing on?" Izuku recognizes the voice of Star-Lord from earlier. "It is? Cool. Alright! Listen up turd muffins! As I said before, your training camp at Guardians HQ has begun. Your first assignment, make it through a little maze we designed for you if you wanna sleep in anything resembling a bed tonight. We have someone coming up to explain the rules carefully to you, pay attention."
Something stomps towards them from the darkness, footsteps cracking and shaking with every step. They're not sure, but it feels as if the floor itself is quaking as whatever coming towards them gets closer and closer. A few dim lights turn on and-
"Is that a tree?" Shinso asks dumbfounded.
"I am Groot." The tall tree-like humanoid greets them, smiling kindly.
Izuku squeals, sprinting up to the hero, notebook already in hand. "Ohhhhh!" Denki slaps his forehead as he and the rest of class take a few steps forward. "I read about this guy!"
"Would you like to enlighten the rest of us now or?…" Jiro crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah! He's- he's uh-" Denki snaps his fingers. "What did that book say? Oh! His species is a- a Flora colossi! That's it!"
"That sounds made up."
"All words are made up."
Jiro opens her mouth to snap back, before shutting it suddenly in shock. "They are, what the hell…" she whispers, while Yaomomo pats her comfortingly.
"Yeah, if it's all the same to you, I think I'm just gonna stick to Tree," Tenko tells the blond.
"Yo, man." Kirishima elbows him lightly. "Maybe Tree isn't the exact right thing to say? Might be insensitive?"
"It's true!" Dark Shadow agrees. "Just like Fumi doesn't like being called a bird!" Tokoyami begins to thank his quirk but it cuts him off. "But he secretly finds it funny when little kids call him a 'birb!'"
"Dark Shadow!"
"What?! That one's not so bad!"
"Yes, but you have forgotten in whose presence we are in and who would use it to his utmost advantage to torture us?!" Tokoyami not so discreetly points at Izuku, who jumps on the balls of his feet as Groot signs his notebook.
"Oh c'mon, he didn't even hear it-"
"I heard it!!"
Tokoyami glares at Dark Shadow, who slumps a bit. "Fumi I am SO sorry!-"
"You have forsaken us."
"I am Groot." Izuku and Denki nod as the green-haired teen is handed back his notebook. Over by Todoroki and Jiro, Yaomomo nods as well.
Vanishing his notebook, Izuku turns around to tell Tenko, "he says he's okay with it if you wanna call him a tree. Most people do."
"Uh, dude?" Sero attempts to clean out his ear. "You might need to get checked out again after that fall. All he said was 'I am Groot' again."
"No, that's not what he said." Izuku gestures to himself and Denki. "Asgardians have a trait called All-Speak. It allows us to be able to understand and speak every language in the universe, including Mr. Groot's here-"
"I am Groot."
"Sorry. I meant including Groot's here." The rest of the class nods along. Yaomomo grabs her head, looking back and forth between Groot and Izuku in shock.
"That explains why Kaminari has a perfect score in English class!" Sero looks more shocked at that revelation than when he found out aliens were real.
Denki puts his hands up defensively. "Hey, I balance it out by barely passing math!"
"Oh! C'est ainsi que tu as toujours pu me parler dans ma langue maternelle!" Aoyama chirps from the back.
"Oui, Monsieur!" Izuku salutes before spinning back to Groot. "Alright, what are the rules?" He asks excitedly.
"I am Groot."
"Oh, that's cool!" Loki's son once again turns back to his class. "It's gonna be a sorta maze slash obstacle course, where we not only have to find our way out, but solve puzzles and get past enemies along the way!"
"He also says we can all use our powers!" Denki continues. "We just can't break any walls or go under and over them."
"But we can be as creative as we want!"
"And we all have to pass so no one can be left behind!"
"Kind of crazy he said all that in what sounds like three words to the rest of us." Mina scratches the side of her head, still trying to process everything. "Wait, can he help us?!"
Izuku brightens. That wasn't mentioned at all during the initial explanation, maybe he and his habits are starting to rub off on his classmates! Is that a good thing? He doesn't know. He'll ask the multitude of voices in his head later.
He relays the question to the hero and Groot hums. "I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot."
"Uh huh…"
"I AM Groot. I am Groot. I. am. Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot."
"Okay…"
"I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot."
"Got it!" Izuku turns back around. "He says no!"
"Alright!" Star-Lord shuts off the microphone to the teens' room, pushing back on his chair and swiveling around. Perhaps a little too much as Shota raises an eyebrow while the man uses his foot to stop himself. "Groot's telling your kids how to run the course now, so we should have a couple of hours to kill."
The four Guardians and Shota sit in a messy room with a few tables and chairs strewn about, a refrigerator in one corner, and random tech in another. One of the walls is replaced by a large screen with dozens of different camera angles of the maze below them for the heroes to keep track of the kids as they make their way through.
Shota hums, shifting around from his spot on the wall. "Your teammate has experience in explaining directions to students?"
"Suuuuuure," Peter waves him off. "Groot knows what he's doing." He flips a switch so they can hear the kids again.
"I am Groot."
"I know it's a bit unfair," they hear Midoriya say to the Guardian. "But if I wasn't able to use All-speak, how would Kacchan understand me?"
"The fuck you say?!"
"I am Groot."
"You wanna go, Tree?!"
"I am Groot!"
"When I'm done with you, you're gonna be nothing but firewood!! Get over here!-"
Peter quickly shuts off the sound system. "U-uh, see?! Everything is completely under control." A confused look crosses his face. "That angry kid could understand Groot?"
"Bakugo is fluent in insults," Shota replies without thinking because, well it's true. "So, Quill-"
"Noooope," Star-Lord replies immediately, putting emphasis on the 'p.' "Name's Peter, dude, not Quill. Or if you prefer, I also go by Star-Lord, legendary outlaw."
"Not an outlaw."
"Or legendary."
Peter shoots looks of betrayal at both Mantis and Rocket, the former snickering at her half-brother's dismay. Shota says nothing about the woman with antennas or the talking raccoon with a gun larger than itself strapped to its back. He can scream into his sleeping bag later about how quickly his life is falling apart.
"You'll be fine, comrade." Shota's neck creaks towards the dog wearing a spacesuit that sits patiently next to him. "You'll get used to it quickly and pretty soon, this will just be another Wednesday."
…
...
"How is that dog talking and why does it have a Russian accent?" Shota asks as calmly as he can. Meanwhile, fantasies of choking a certain boss of his for not preparing him in the slightest for what he'd encounter on this trip fill his mind.
Peter turns back to him after having a silent argument with Mantis. "What? Don't tell me you've never seen a telekinetic dog that can read minds before? People from Earth can't be that dumb about what's going on in the universe these days?"
"…Aren't you from Earth?"
"No, I'm from Missouri," Peter responds, falling back into his chair and checking one of the armrests.
Cosmo straightens, tilting her head in curiosity, before shaking her head at Shota. "No, I can't use my powers to crush your head. My apologies."
"Worth a shot," Shota shrugs, pinching his nose. He feels a rustling on his legs and moves his hand, looking down to see Cosmo begging at him. "What?"
"You look like you give nice pets. I wish to test that theory."
"I prefer cats."
"Rats carry a lot of diseases, you know."
"I said cats."
"I know."
"Cosmo!" Peter whistles, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a bag. "Leave pencil-topper alone and I'll give you a treat."
"You think I'd lower myself so much for just a-" Peter throws a miniature bone from the bag across the room and over Cosmo's head. "TREAT!!" the dog screeches before scampering away.
"Finally," The leader (or co-leader depending on who you ask) of the Guardians drops the bag on the table next to him, still messing with his chair's armrest. "And now this damn thing won't stay up- ah!" He snatches a radio from his belt. "Drax, is there any tape where you are?… Hello?… Drax?"
"Is scotch okay?"
Peter jumps, and if anyone is watching Shota, he shifts slightly at the sound of the new voice from a dark corner of the room. "Jesus, Drax!" Peter yells with indignance, putting a hand over his heart. "I told you to let me know when you'd be doing your standing thing in a room!"
Drax the Destroyer ignores the man that Shota slowly suspects more and more is actually a man-child. He nods to 1-A's homeroom teacher. "My condolences that you had to experience my skill at being imperceivable to normal senses."
Shota nods back. It's nothing to him. The underground hero knew the man was in the room this entire time. Completely.
"Yeah, yeah." Peter shakes his armrest to draw attention back to it. "Now, you said you had scotch tape?"
"I asked if scotch was okay."
"Yes!"
Drax hums. "I see. Well, it's unfortunate then that I don't have tape."
Peter's jaw drops, head whipping back and forth between Drax and his chair repeatedly. "Then…then…" incredulity grows with every word. "Then why did you ask me if scotch was okay?!!"
As the pair continue to argue, Rocket pushes his chair to Shota, who runs a hand down his face. "Hey, I'd tell you it's not always like this, but it is. Place is crawling with jackasses. Might as well get used to it." He pauses, hitting a few commands on the computer on his lap. "And if not, I can take you over to Jemiah's Boot once we put the kids down for the night. One of the best bars on this dump."
"Finally," Shota sighs, plucking a jelly packet out of his pocket. "One of you is saying something that makes sense." He sips on his snack, eyeing the two arguing ahead of him. "Hm. They're not all that different from how my own co-workers act." Shota vows to keep Peter and Hizashi separate if it's the last thing he does. "Alright, maybe you can finally answer my question then. How in the hell did Nezu arrange all of this?"
The raccoon scoffs as he types away on his computer. "Through me, of course. Your boss had been reaching out to potential new contacts in space for a while once he learned there was a lot more out there than just your old dusty rock." Shota does remember the rat mentioning he had been burning through his personal fortune for a while on a project, guess he got his answer on what.
"That's when he found me," Rocket continues, not taking his eyes off his computer screen. "We talked for a bit, an agonizing process with his out of date Earth junk, so I sent him some tech to juice up his setup, and boom, instant messaging! Found out we had a lot in common. Made in a lab, experimented on, the smartest organism in any given room, the leaders of our given groups-"
"Shut up, douchebag, you're not the leader!" Peter yells at him. "Drax, go get the other teacher in here and keep an eye on his kids."
He thumbs to the door and Drax nods, walking away. "What kind of eye?"
Peter looks around confused. "What do you mean?"
Drax makes a motion with his fingers to his eyes. "You told me to keep an eye on them, but which eye? You can't mean mine, so, a cybernetic one?"
"How has the day just started and I'm already exhausted?" Peter throws his hands in the air. Huh, maybe he and Shota will be able to find some common ground after all. "Drax, please. Just make sure the other class stays out of trouble." Once he leaves, Peter rounds back on Rocket. "And what did you say? Everyone knows I'm in charge here, you trash panda."
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Rocket laughs obnoxiously.
"It's not that funny!"
"Yeah! It kinda is!" Rocket abruptly stops his laughter to respond. "Now where was I?"
"Don't you dare-"
"Oh yeah! HAHAHA!!"
"That laughter is so fake!!"
"And it's still more real than you being in charge!" Rocket retorts, smirking as he hits a key on his computer and leans back. "Alright, dillweed, I'll give you a chance. Tell me what a few of the other Guardians are up to and I'll admit it, as the leader, you should know this stuff like the back of your unwashed hand. Now, then. Nebula."
"You think I'm that much of an idiot?" Peter rolls his eyes. "She's on that recon mission for Gamora."
"Yeah, keep rolling your eyes, Quill. Do that enough and maybe you'll find a brain back there sometime," Rocket quips. "Adam."
Peter looks away. "Uh." He clears his throat. "You know, off-world."
"Humanitarian mission on D'Bari V." It's Rocket's turn to roll his eyes. "Angela."
"With her partner, Sera, for a week's vacation. See? There. Two out of three! Yeah!" Peter clicks his tongue, pointing to himself. Behind him, the door opens. "Leadership material, right here! Which means you can suck it!"
"Wow. Nothin' says leader like telling your teammate to suck you off, eh?" Logan chuckles, shutting the door behind him.
Scoffing, Peter lifts himself up, turning around to face their new arrival. "This really coming from the guy who, during our last joint mission together, called Kurt a pussy for not teleporting behind a door to check for traps?"
"Quill actually has a point there," Rocket points out, staring back at Logan to await a response.
Logan shrugs nonchalantly. "The way I see it, there are two ways to call someone a pussy. You do it to either be a dick, or to motivate them. How they take it is on them."
"Damn, can't argue there."
Peter looks back at Rocket in disbelief. "Whose side are you on anyway?! You know what? Good advice, Logan. Hey, Rocket, you're a pussy." He looks around the room aggressively. "And I want everyone to know I meant that in the dick way!"
Shota does not like the frequency in which he finds himself in situations where he's just completely lost on what the hell is even happening anymore.
"Maybe we should stop talking about dicks and pussies before we go down to see the kids?" Mantis suggests.
"Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine," Peter dismisses. "I mean they're- what?" He peers at Shota. "How old are they again? Twelve? Thirteen? Yeah, I had heard way worse by then."
"Did you now?" Shota raises an eyebrow.
"Let me think, uh, yeah?" Peter responds with just a hint of sass. "At thirteen, I was roaming the universe with the band of mercenaries who had kidnapped me from Earth." At the sight of Shota's perplexed expression, he continues. "I mean, we all had some weird stuff happen when we were young, right? Logan!" He snaps his fingers, pointing to the mutant. "Back me up! What were you doing at thirteen?"
"Awakening my powers and killing my father."
"See?!" Peter nods, motioning to them all. "All crazy stuff by thirteen, the kids will be fine! Let's go get ready to meet them when they're done." Peter hits a switch to check one of the screens and their progress.
A team consisting of Iida, Yaomomo, and Denki round the corner of the maze to find the next door locked and a jar filled with some sort of substance beside it on a shelf labeled 'How many pieces of space candy in the jar?'
"Oh! I am wonderful at these!" Yaomomo lights up at the sight, creating a calculator for herself, Iida, and Denki.
Iida hums, typing on his calculator. "So the base of the jar would be pi times radius squared…"
"How many centimeters would you say the jar is?" Yaomomo asks, studying the jar while at the same time, rapidly typing on her own calculator. Denki has done nothing but appear to short circuit.
"My American tutor growing up actually taught me to solve these types of problems using inches. That way, the inch fractions coincide with pi as twenty-two over seven."
Yaomomo looks aghast. "You do not use 3.14 for pi?!"
"Oh for the love of!-" Denki throws his calculator down and unclips Thunderstrike from his belt, using it to destroy the jar and empty the candy all over the ground. "There! Now there's zero!" He hits the number on the numerical pad next to the door, opening it, and running through, leaving behind a stunned Iida and Yaomomo.
After a second of silence, Iida's quirk awakens and blasts him after his Asgardian classmate. "Kaminari! You cannot simply smash every problem you come across!"
"When your best tool is a hammer, you see every problem like a nail!"
"See? They're doing great." Peter begins to gather his things. "They'll be finished in no time. C'mon." He pats Logan's shoulder as he passes to the door. "On the way you can tell us how life's been, playing second fiddle to the Avengers."
"Heh." Logan laughs a little under his breath, shaking his head. He's smiling but it's clear he is at most, mildly amused. "What was that, bub?"
"I'm just sayin'." Peter makes a motion with his hands before dropping them by his side. "If New York City is under attack, no one's asking, 'Oh, I hope the X-Men get here soon!'" He says the last part mockingly.
"No one even knows who your team is, asshole." Logan is still shaking his head. "I'd rather be second fiddle than no fiddle at all."
Peter meets the challenge. "Oh, trust me. We got plenty of fiddles here. Whatever the hell those are."
"Quill would know, he plays with his fiddle all the time-"
"Shhh, Rocket! Ew!" Mantis covers his mouth.
"Yeah, well, there's a whole universe to protect, not just your tiny planet so," Peter cranks his hand until his middle finger pops out. Logan smirks, raising his fist and ejecting only his middle claw. Snorting, the Guardian begins to make his way to the door again but-
"Hold it." Peter groans, stopping at Logan's words before he can reach the door. "You're really not gonna tell me how she's doing?"
"What? You're gonna see her soon?" The Guardian replies. "And you know she's fine. You just wanna know the kind of shit we've put her through."
"Yeah," Logan admits. "And I wanna know whether I have to kick your ass or not." Peter laughs but Logan is clearly not joking.
"And who are we talking about?" Shota doesn't stop himself from asking. In an unfamiliar environment with people he doesn't know, he'd prefer to not be left out of the loop as much as possible.
"Oh!" Peter hits his head in realization. "Yeah. We got sorta this…what's the best way to explain this? Hey, what's it called when you swap kids? You know, like you take one of their kids and/or they take one of yours?"
Shota narrows his eyes. "Kidnapping? Human trafficking?"
"No no that's not it- oh!" Star-Lord claps his hands. "Exchange! That's it! We got this exchange thing going on with the X-Men. Right now, we're taking care of one of their kids, showing her the ropes, and what's it like to be on a real team." Logan narrows his eyes. "She's around the same age as your students, so they should be fine.
"And don't huff at me, old man." Peter meets Wolverine's hardened stare. "We've been taking her mostly on raids of High-Evo's labs, nothing too dangerous. I'll tell ya, she's made it a lot easier getting into the purple cuck's bases that's for sure-"
"That's all well and good." Shota stands up off the wall. "But you never answered me, who?"
"Sero, are you sure you should be doing that?! Didn't Sensei tell you not to use any of the weird stuff your quirk is doing?!" Mina calls up to the tape user as he slowly attempts to climb up the maze wall with his hands and feet.
"I just hope he rolled a high enough athletics check," Tenko comments next to her.
"Actually, I think he'd wanna roll for acrobatics." Both teens jump when a brown-haired girl their age pokes her head through the wall. Literally. "Because for something like this, Dexterity would be the most important thing just in case-" Sero slips and screams as he falls, but breathes a sigh of relief when Tenko catches him with Blackwhip. "That happens."
"Thanks for the heads up..." Sero gets up, rubbing his head and prompting the girl.
"Kitty," She introduces herself. "Just running around to make sure none of you cheat. But if you want a tip, there is a generator you guys can find in here that's pretty close. Turn it on and you can all stop running around like you're on the spaceship from Alien. Okay, byeeee!"
She pulls her head back through before Mina can reach her. "Wait! I must know more about youuu!!"
"-Space!!"
Shota and the rest of the adults enter a similar staging area to the one his own class had initially been teleported to find Class 1-B crowded around the windows, staring out at the stars.
"I never thought anything could get close to being as cool as dinosaurs but…" Tokage stares out of the window in wonder.
"This is the coolest thing ever!!" Pony shouts in her native English, probably not even realizing she's doing it. The American uses two sets of her horns to get herself and Komori above the crowd. "Why did we stop the space program again?!"
"Hmm," Kodai agrees…Shota thinks. He's usually pretty good at reading people.
"This is an unprecedented opportunity," Shishida remarks, not able to take his eyes off the sight in front of him. "We shouldn't waste it." Shoda nods next to him.
Kendo shakes her head good-naturedly, waving her enlarged hand in front of Kuroiro's stunned face to wake him from his stupor. He shakes his head a bit before rushing the window to stare at it some more in awe.
The orange-haired girl chuckles slightly before bending down to check on Shiozaki, who had not stopped praying on the ground since they got there.
Monoma scoffs. "Look at you all and how easily you're distracted!" he accuses them, conveniently not mentioning how his own eyes shifted constantly to the window. "When you should be focusing on the true purpose of this excursion!"
"Getting better acquainted with our sister class?" Kendo responds flatly, her expression unimpressed from her spot by Shiozaki. "Making amends from the Sports Festival? Maybe striving to not get knocked out by your class-rep at least once every single day?"
"…I fully support one of those things."
A door across from them slides up and Class 1-A comes tumbling through. They're tired, dirty, some of them with a few bruises, and couldn't look more pleased with themselves.
"LOOK!! MORE SPACE!" Mina races over to one of the available windows, wrestling with Ochako to be the first one there while they're joined by a few others. Midoriya laughs a little before joining Yaoyorozu to greet Kendo and Shoda.
"Aizawa-sensei really never gives you guys a break, does he?" Kendo laughs a bit at the other rep's tired appearance.
"If he did, I'd accuse him of being an imposter," Midoriya replies, also laughing.
"Okay, here's the plan." Kendo leans in. "I punch him. Shoda hits him again. Yaoyorozu ties him up and Midoriya questions him. Any questions?"
Midoriya backs up in surprise. "Any- what would it take to get you on my team for a prank war at school?"
"Don't be ridiculous, Midoriya," Yaoyorozu chastises. "Kendo has much more important things to do than participate in your team's fruitless endeavor to win."
A little ways away, Jiro snorts. "Yeah! She said your team ain't shit, Midoriya!"
"Yeah, right!" Tokage pumps her arm from another part of the room, standing next to Denki. People around them begin to stare. "Midoriya's team has ME! The true prank master of this school!" Midoriya glares. "There's no way we can lose!" She hooks her arm around Kodai, dragging her over. "We also have Yui! And you never know what can happen with her! Right, Yui?!"
"Hm."
"Yeah! Take your shot, girl!"
"What going on? Heard word for war?" Pony asks in broken Japanese.
"Big prank war between everyone coming up!" Izuku tells her in English. "And my team has the best English speakers so you should join my team!"
"Okay!"
"Midoriya has been here for only a minute and has devolved everyone into clowns…" Monoma grumbles. Kendo shoots him a look, reminding him of a certain apology he has yet to make, and he looks away, wincing a bit.
"Is this for real?" Tetsutetsu backs up, standing by Kirishima, hands in his pockets.
"Sure is, bro."
The silver-haired boy hums. "Guess I'll hang on whatever team you're on. You know, whatever."
"That's awesome, man!" Kirishima slaps his back. "We'll block everything headed their way!" Tetsutetsu yells in agreement, the pair clasping hands in a very manly handshake.
"So, what do you say, Kendo?" Midoriya brings the question back to her as their two classes begin to talk amongst one another.
"Heh, sounds fun. But I think I'd rather stay out of this one." She raises her hands in surrender. "When I'm not training, I'm usually scavenging parts for my bike and doing repairs-"
"I'll buy you a brand new bike."
Kendo's mouth drops at Midoriya's seemingly completely serious offer. Yaoyorozu looks disgusted. "Midoriya, bribing for teammates is highly unethical. Besides," she looks back at Kendo. "I can acquire a better motorcycle in every conceivable way to Midoriya. Including custom jobs."
Midoriya glares at his vice-rep. "Yaomomo, I promise you're not going to win a fight with money against me."
She narrows her eyes at him. "If I must topple the country's economy I will."
"No, no, that's okay!" Kendo quickly interjects, clearly not sure if the two are joking or not. "Besides, I don't want a new bike. I want to finish building the one I'm working on, myself. Just need help finding a few of the parts."
"I can have Mei Hatsume from the support department get you anything you need!" Midoriya suggests.
"I can make any part you need right now." Her green-haired classmate returns his glare to Yaoyorozu, but she merely smirks in victory.
Back by the window, Tokoyami says, "I thought I always knew what a mad banquet of darkness was…" He is still not over the sight of space before him.
"You can say that again…" Kuroiro steps up next to his fellow fan of the dark, neither taking their eyes off of the window. Yanagi glances at Tokoyami a few times, before also stepping a bit closer to him to peer outside.
"Most of them look broken," Peter snickers as they make their way over. "Hey, anyone wanna tell them a bunch of universal secrets just to keep it going?!"
"He is…an adult, yeah?" Shota whispers to Logan.
"Physically, yeah."
"And mentally?"
Logan takes a moment. "I can probably distract him by jiggling keys in his face."
"Okay!" Mantis responds to her half-brother, excited. "Where should we start? Oh, I know! Tell them Santa Claus is real!"
"And risk getting on his bad side?!"
"You know, true story." Shota follows the new voice to find a green-skinned woman walking briskly over to them, before putting her hand around Peter's side. With him reciprocating by placing his around her shoulders. "During December every year, no matter where we were, or what we were doing, my father awoke every Christmas morning to find coal left in a stocking for him."
"To everyone who doesn't know, this is Gamora," Peter gestures to the woman. "My Titan-killing long term booty call- ahhhh!" He yells as she squeezes his side. "I mean, the most special person in my life."
"Shota Aizawa," Gamora separates from Peter and greets the hero with a slight bow, one he returns before she turns to the man next to him. "Logan."
"Gamora," Wolverine replies, tilting his head slightly. "I see you still haven't come to your senses yet."
"Big talk from a man who had a partner that tried to use the Phoenix force to kill everyone."
"Touché," Logan acknowledges, before peaking at Shota's questioning gaze. "Don't worry about it; it was this whole saga, over by now." Why does Shota feel like he's going to leave this place with more questions than he came with?
"Star-Lord!" Dread fills Shota's entire being. He knew he was forgetting something. Midoriya appears in a flash of green in front of Peter, notebook in hand. "You're Star-Lord! Legendary outlaw and leader of the Guardians, right?! I am your biggest fan!"
"Finally!!" Peter laughs, relieved, before taking the notebook. "I like this one!" He fills an entire page with his signature, not even asking if that's what the green-haired gremlin wanted. "And you're Loki's kid, yeah?"
"Star-Lord knows me…"
"Yeah!" Peter gets more and more excited the more he talks. "Your principal sent us a file on you! Hey! Is it true that you-" Gamora clears her throat. "I-I mean, this is a very serious training camp. There's not gonna be any funny business, is there?"
"Well…" Midoriya scratches the back of his head, taking his notebook back. "I mean, unless someone comes back from the future to stop you, what you're doing can't be that bad, can it?"
Slowly, but surely, Peter's face morphs from mock seriousness to a bright smile. "You're right! How come I never thought of it like that before?! Hey Gamora!" He pulls Midoriya closer to him, pointing to the teen. "Kid is making a ton of sense!"
"Oh my gods Star-Lord says I make sense!…Wait, is that your elemental gun on your side?!"
"You really are my biggest fan! Wanna try it out?"
And this is when Shota decides to finally interject. "Absolutely not. Do not give him a gun."
"It's fine." Peter does a terrible job reassuring him as he unholsters the weapon. "We are fully trained here and take safety very seriously." Looking down, the hero lets out a tiny "oh" when he realizes the gun is pointed straight at the student before quickly turning it around.
Feeling a headache rapidly forming, Shota sighs as Peter calls attention to the rest of the students. This whole situation is ridiculous and he feels like he might wake up from whatever dream or drug-induced nightmare he's in at any moment but honestly. If going into space is what he has to do to keep his students safe from a villain attack then so be it.
"What do you mean you've never heard of us?!" Shota brings himself back as Peter yells incredulously at the kids. "You all know the Avengers and X-Men, how can you not know the Guardians of the Galaxy?!"
"This wouldn't have happened if we went with the name we originally decided on! Ass-Kickers of the Fantastic!"
"Shut your mouth, Rocket!
"Oh, are you based off the Fantastic Four?!" Toru pushes her way to the front.
"Wait, there's six of them though? So wouldn't they be based off the Big Hero 6?"
"It's alright, Star-Dork," Logan says from behind Peter, clearly enjoying being proven right. "You have your entire life to be an idiot, why not take the rest of today off?"
"You are the raisin in my day's chocolate chip cookie, Wolverine."
Midoriya snorts, causing Logan to glare at him. "He called you old and annoying with one insult!"
A soft chorus of 'oooohs' echo between the two classes. "You can't just take that, Sensei! Get him back!" Kamakiri yells from the back of the group. More members of 1-B chime in in agreement.
Logan shrugs, crossing his arms. "Quill, you're such a moron that you could count your own balls three times and get three different numbers."
"Ohhhh!!" Many of the students scream, laughing with one another. "Yeah, kick his ass, Sensei!"
"And we have already failed at not cussing in front of the kids." Gamora pinches the bridge of her nose.
"Hey, Logan, stop cussing in front of the fucking kids!"
"Fuck off, they hear worse in class all the time." It says something when most of 1-B nods at that, with Kendo in particular letting out a deep sigh.
"After this is over Logan, you're gonna have to apologize to Groot," Peter thumbs over to where his teammate is emerging from the maze. "For wasting all of the air his people make!"
"If I wanted an asshole's opinion, Quill, I would've just farted."
"You're the rock in my shoe."
"Eat shit and live."
"Your real name's James!"
"And that's enough!" Gamora gets in between them, Mantis next to her in case she needs to put them to sleep. Behind them, most of the students in the two hero course classes are busy laughing over one another, some on the ground while others hold onto one another for support. "I think that's enough for now." She lowers her voice. "For the record, Peter won." Logan rolls his eyes.
She goes back to a higher volume. "Currently, we are located in the Continuum Cortex, the teleportation hub of the station; it's how we brought you here. In a moment, we'll lead you to Starlin's Bar where your dinner will be provided and after that, your quarters. Along the way, we'll show you areas of the station you are allowed to go, like the Collector's Museum, and places you are not. You will adhere to these rules, am I understood?"
"Yes, Ma'am!!" The kids shout.
Gamora waves them off, letting the teens talk amongst themselves. Shota inclines his head at her as she returns to the adults. "I was under the impression they would be making their own meals."
"Oh, yeah. About that. We saw that's what you wanted in the papers Nezu sent over," Peter explains, "but that's stupid so we're doing it this way instead."
"What he means," Gamora pulls him back, "is that we want the kids, especially all of the ones with new and unique abilities, to focus solely on getting a handle on their powers and not have to worry about things like eating."
Logan nods. "Makes sense. We do something similar at my school."
"Normally, I wouldn't," Shota says honestly. "But given how unfamiliar I am with many of my student's new powers, it's only logical I defer to those who are. But that doesn't mean we should take it easy on them either."
"HA!" Rocket laughs. "No worries there. They're gonna wish it was just you when we're done with them."
"Logan!"
Peter lurches when a teenage girl wearing a dark blue and yellow jumpsuit jumps through the man, much like Togata's quirk, to latch onto Logan's arm like a koala. "Ugh." The Guardian shivers as he pats himself down. "You know I hate it when you do that, Kitty!"
"Why do you think I do it?" She sticks her tongue out at him before peering up at Logan. "What took you so long to visit?"
"Hey, kid." Wolverine shakes his arm a bit but Kitty refuses to release him. "I would've been here sooner, but it's not like you're just down the road. They treating you alright?"
"Yeah! I have to tell you about the time they had to rescue me from pirates!"
"From where?"
Shota hums as everyone begins to make their way out with the classes to wherever they're going to eat, with he and Peter lagging behind a bit. The latter, he assumes, to help avoid Logan's wrath. There's still one thing that is bothering him about the man in charge of his kids' camp. "So, you always get goaded into pointless fights like that?"
"Not pointless." Peter smiles, watching the kids making their way out of the room. "Look at them." Shota does so. "The point of this is to help them get along, right?" And to his surprise, Peter is right. Both classes were already starting to mix together, laughing and joking, even repeating some of the same insults the two heroes had thrown at each other.
"Nothing brings people together like laughter." Peter reaches into his belt, pulling a pair of over the ear headphones onto his head. "And I'd say we're off to a good start, wouldn't you?" He winks at Shota, before walking away with a little skip in his step.
…Huh. Maybe this won't be as bad as he thought.