Kuoh City. Kuoh Academy. Medical Room.
It had been five years since I woke up in my new body. After spending so much time in this world, I was beginning to wonder why I was even here. I understand the concept of reincarnation and transmigration from manga and anime, but how shall I put it... Why would it be necessary in an already finished work if even without it, the plot would move forward?
KNOCK KNOCK
- "Come in."
- "Excuse me, Dr Romani," said a woman's voice.
The door opened and Tsubaki Shinra along with the Perverted Trio entered the medical room and bowed.
- "Oh! Tsubaki-san. Are they at it again?" I asked with a sigh.
- "Yes. They were beaten up by the kendo club again,'' she replied with the same sigh.
- "Got it. You can go to class now. I'll take care of them."
She nodded and, bowing, left.
I looked at the squirming trio and rubbed my temples.
- "What are we going to do with you? Aren't you tired of getting caught and bruised? Are your hobbies really worth this kind of suffering?"
- "Sensei! You're a man too! You must understand our attraction to the female body!" Despite his injuries, Issei cried out, and his accomplices nodded.
And how the hell did he become the strongest Ddraig host? Oh wait, I know the answer. The main character's plot armor! I got a headache.
- "Okay. Come one at a time so I can treat your wounds," I said, trying to smile.
- "Got it," all three of them shrieked.
While I was treating them, a deep voice was heard in my head.
- "Hm. And this is the one who is destined to defeat the Beast VI of this world? We can't understand this."
- "Heh. You don't have to try to understand it, Goetia. I gave up long ago and accepted reality. I suggest you do the same."
- "Then why are you still in this school? We remember you saying that this place is the epicentre of future events. Wouldn't it be wiser to leave it and find another one?"
- "I thought about that too, but I decided that finding out why I was here was... more acceptable."
Yep. How drastically my life has changed if I'm talking to the Beast I in my head.
- "Done. Now, if you'd be so kind as to stay away from the girls. You're creating extra work for me that I can absolutely avoid. Do you understand me, degenerate trio?" I asked with a creepy smile.
- "Y-yes!" they shrieked and ran out of the infirmary.
I grinned and, turning to the empty corner of the office, asked:
- "Heh. What do you think of them, Eroge Protagonist Rank EX?"
- "Stop calling me that, Master. I have no idea how I obtained this skill,'' the heroic spirit materialised and replied.
Allow me to introduce to you 'Bone of my Sword', 'Queen of Britannia', 'Actually Satan', and most importantly, the 'Eroge Protagonist Rank EX' - Archer Emiya.
- "Come on! There's no need to be embarrassed. You can't deny the fact that the skill is fairly earned,'' I snickered.
- "Why are all my Masters so unpleasant...'' Emiya muttered, clutching his head with his hands.
- "Rank E luck, I guess?"
Heh. Now he's hitting the wall. Poor bastard.
- "Anyway, how was your round of the city?" I took pity on him.
- "I managed to eliminate three renegade demons. Master, you said there were two Pillar heiresses watching over the area, didn't you? Then what the hell are they doing?"
- "Oya. Are you being a hero of justice again?" I teased him, "The answer to your question is very simple. There is only one heiress who fulfils her duties faithfully."
He raised an eyebrow and asked me to continue.
- "The other one, namely Rias Gremory, is busy with a very important business."
- "Important business? What could be more important than the lives of the people under her jurisdiction?" he asked incredulously.
- "Oh! It's simple," I paused dramatically, "Recruiting new members of her entourage to avoid a marriage of convenience!"
I giggled madly while Emiya did a facepalm with a very loud clap.
No offence to demons, but how did Rias become an heiress? I'm not saying she has to be perfect or anything, but, overseeing the territory entrusted to her should be part of the minimum requirements of an heiress, right?
While I was pondering, Emiya decided to speak up.
- "Master, I think you should summon more Servants. If the future events you described happen, we might need more hands."
- "Heh. What are you talking about? Don't tell me you've forgotten that I wield two True Magics or, for that matter, about the Beasts of the House?" I said, adopting an aggrieved pose, "And you are not the only Servant I have summoned. Isn't Enkidu alone enough for you?"
He grimaced, but he said:
- "True. But if the war zone is large, Enkidu and I may not be enough."
- "Hmm. Hmm. I suppose you're right," I scratched my chin and replied, "Any preferences?"
Emiya thought for a few moments and then answered:
- "Since the Archer and Lancer classes have already been called up, I suggest calling up the rest of the standard cast."
- "Oya. Would you like to see Artoria? How about Medusa? Or both? You can ask me directly, you don't have to be shy," I said snidely.
He blushed and looked away. Heh. A man wants to see his harem... How sweet.
- "Don't worry. I was planning on calling them anyway. I just needed an excuse," I reassured him, and looked at my watch.
Okay. Four more hours until the end of the day. I think we can sleep.
- "Wake me up if someone comes."
Emiya nodded and dematerialised.
-0-
Kuoh City. Outdoor.
4 hours later.
Walking home, I asked Emiya:
- "Now that we've dealt with Saber and Rider, what about the others? I'm sure you, being a Counter-Guardian, know a lot of heroic spirits and can suggest someone specific."
- "I think Merlin might be a good fit for the role of Caster," he replied after a bit of thought.
- "Ho. Why him?"
- "Although he's an annoying bastard, his knowledge of magic will be very useful."
- "Heh. I see."
We finally reached our house. I was too lazy to come up with any special design, so I just created a replica of Emiya Fuyuki's Residence.
As soon as I stepped over the threshold of the house, a blue rocket flew into me.
- "Oya. Did mummy miss you? Yeah. Good girl. At least let me go inside. Then we can cuddle," I said, stroking the blue rocket.
She reluctantly let go of me and headed for the couch. I looked around, looking for Emiya, who had disappeared while I was being cuddled, and found him in the kitchen with Enkidu helping him there. Heh. Emiya's mum is at it again.
I went to my room and changed my clothes. When I opened the door, I was distracted by a certain white coloured animal.
- "Fou!"
- "Hello to you too, Fou. How many hours did you sleep this time?"
- "Fou, fou, kyu!"
- "Who are you trying to lie to, you furry bastard! Like you can stay awake for more than two hours a day."
- "Fou, kyu!"
- "Is that the mouth you kiss your mum with?" I asked a rhetorical question and went to the common room.
- "Fou, fou, kyu!"
- "At least I'm done. Now stop whining and let's go. Emiya's mum is already preparing dinner for us. And I don't think you'd want to miss your meal."
- "Fou," he declared and jumped on my shoulder.
When I reached the lounge, I sat down on the couch, and I was immediately enveloped in the slender and graceful arms of the Primordial Goddess, knocking Fou off my shoulder in the process. He landed on the coffee table in front of the couch and snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. Tiamat smiled softly and snuggled back against me.
- "Dinner is ready," I heard Emiya's voice.
I pulled Tiamat off me and headed to the dining table with her. As we sat down, Goetia appeared next to us in his humanoid form and took his place at the table as well. Fou was already on the table waiting for his portion.
Yep. This is how my days go by in my new life.
Chapter 1
The Emiya residence. Basement.
We went down to the basement of the house and stood in front of the summoning circle. Hmm. Hmm. Aside from Merlin as Caster, I guess I'll leave the rest to random chance.
I activated the 3rd magic and the circle lit up. A few seconds later, the basement filled with flower petals and Merlin appeared before us.
- "Oh! Glorious heroes! Court Mage of Camelot, Mentor of Kings, Mage of Flowers..."
- "And a pervert! / Fou!" I interrupted him, and Fou flew off his foot and into his face like Superman.
Merlin flew back from his blow and slammed into the wall.
- "My face! You stupid animal again?! All my concern for you is just an empty sound in your head? Aggh! Stop hitting me, damn it!"
- "Heeheeheeheehee..." I giggled madly as I saw what was happening in front of me.
Live, the scene of a legendary mage being beaten up by a small beast was even funnier than I expected. Oh! Is that a Mortal Kombat-style uppercut from Fou?! I even thought I saw some sort of x-ray of broken bones.
- "I think he's done for the day, hairball. You can take your fight with him another time. We have yet to summon the rest of the Servants."
- "Fou!" he barked as he let go of Merlin, walked over to Tiamat and sat on her head.
- "Merlin, are you all right?" I asked, looking interested.
He stood up and shook himself off. He didn't look so bad. Heh. I guess I'll fix that. I used 1st magic and corrected him. Merlin widened his eyes, but quickly regained his composure.
- "Caster-class servant, Merlin Ambrosius. Who is my Master?" He asked and made a slight bow.
- "That would be me," I replied.
- "I apologize, Master, but I just saw you using 1st Magic? And why are there other Servants here?"
- "That's right. Although, I can use 3rd magic as well. And the other Servants are your coworkers for the foreseeable future. Heh."
- "Emiya, Archer class. / Enkidu, Lancer class," they introduced themselves.
He nodded and looked around the room. Seeing Tiamat with Fou sitting on her head, he was wary.
- "Master, may I ask what the Beasts are doing here?"
- "Oya. You call this caring Primordial Goddess and a completely harmless white clump of fur Beasts? How insensitive."
- "Since it doesn't bother you, you can forget my question," he muttered with a twitching eye.
- "Heh. You adapted to the current situation rather quickly,'' I replied with a smirk, "Now, get back to Emiya and Enkidu. I need to summon the rest of the Servants."
He raised an eyebrow, but stepped back. Fou's gaze had not left Merlin's since his summoning. Well, we can leave it to him.
I activated the circle once more and, this time, a certain woman in blue and silver armor appeared.
- "A servant of the Saber class, Artoria Pendragon. You are my Master?"
- "I am. And Artoria, you might want to say hello to some old friends," I said and pointed my hand at the fleeing Merlin.
She looked in the direction indicated and her fist came across his face. Again.
- "Merli-i-i-in!"
- "C-calm down, Artoria. This is how you meet your mentor?! And why are all the punches aimed at my face!" he shrieked, rubbing the spot where he'd been hit.
I wasn't the only one laughing this time. Emiya broke out into giggles as well, and his shoulders, now and then, twitched. The others had their own reactions to what was happening, Enkidu shrugged, Tiamat was still smiling, and Fou was nodding.
- "If you're done, I'll continue the invocation," I said, looking at the duo of teacher and student.
Artoria had the conscience to blush. She nodded and stepped aside, dragging Merlin behind her.
I wonder if Emiya really recommended summoning him just because of his magical knowledge? Maybe it was an act of revenge? I looked at him, and he looked away. How vindictive we are, Emiya's mom.
After another summoning, Rider appeared with his long purple hair.
- "Rider class servant, Medusa. Dispose of me as you wish, Master," she said in a monotone.
Oh, God. God. The waifu of all waifu. The dress, the hair, the face... And she was called a "monster"? I grinned.
- "Okay. Step aside, please. There will be an explanation a little later."
She nodded and walked towards the rest of the group, greeting Emiya and Artoria. I assume she remembers something from the Fifth Grail War?
Right. Only Assassin and Berserker left. I think we should speed things up. I'm calling out both classes at once.
I pumped a large amount of mana into the circle, and it lit up brighter than the previous times.
As the light faded, two male figures appeared in front of me.
- "Arghhhhhh," Hercules growled.
Well, the Berserker is clear. But the second Servant... I know him very well. No, you don't. Everyone here knows this particular Servant very well. A huge sword, metal armor and a skull mask with blue lights burning in it.
- "Put your fear aside, summoner. Assassin class. I have no name, but I was once called the Old Man of the Mountain. Are you my Master?" he said in his deep voice.
Oh, my God! I really was able to summon him! He looks so cool! My inner fan can't contain himself anymore.
- "Yes! It's really nice to meet you, Grandpa!" I shrieked.
The people present were wary, some of them even drew their weapons. Tiamat growled softly and glared threateningly at the summoned Servant.
But I didn't look at the people around me. I didn't give a damn. How could I NOT focus my attention on the coolest Servant in the entire Nasuverse!
- "Hmm. 'Grandpa'? I've never been called that before," King Hassan said in his awesome voice.
- "Yes! I mean... Yes?! Then you don't mind if I call you that, do you?" I asked excitedly.
- "Hmm," he thought and rubbed his chin, "I can accept it. You can call me 'Grandpa', Master."
Oh! I won't deny that I screamed like a Sasuke fan from a certain anime. Absolutely not.
- "Well! Let's go to the common room and I'll explain all the details!" I said, still happy about King Hassan's call, and headed towards the basement exit.
The others followed me, still wary of the Great Servant's call.
-0-
Emiya's residence. Common Room.
Once everyone was seated, I began to explain the structure of this world and its details. It took about half an hour, and during that time, no one tried to interrupt me, and everyone listened attentively.
- "Any questions?"
The first to ask a question was a frazzled Merlin.
- "Master, are you saying that there is no Alaya in this world, and Gaia is not the same as in our original world?"
- "Uh-huh. After all, this world hasn't had the Age of Man. And you may have noticed that the concentration of mana in the air here is quite dense. And you may address me without formality. That goes for everyone else as well."
He nodded, and Artoria, who was standing too close to Emiya, took the floor. Eroge Protagonist Rank EX rank is at it again.
- "You mentioned the Pendragon family. Can you elaborate on that?"
- "Hmm. Hmm. I don't know the exact details, but I can definitely mention two people from there, Le Fay Pendragon and Arthur Pendragon. These brother and sister ran away from their family, taking Excalibur Ruler with them."
- "Excalibur Ruler? What is that?"
A look of indignation appeared on Artoria's face. Oops.
- "Uh. You better be prepared," I said and paused, "In a nutshell, the Excalibur of this world was shattered and forged into seven separate swords that were labeled 'Excalibur' in their names."
By now, Artoria's indignation had been passed on to the others, and her own had turned to rage.
- "How?! How can it be 'shattered'?! It's simply impossible!" she shrieked and grabbed me by the collar.
- "Whoa, whoa. Calm down. I can't understand it either. And given the logic of this world, I'm not trying to. Maybe if we get them together, you can make him look like his old self again," I said quickly and held up my hands.
- "We'll do it!" Artoria shrieked, and the others nodded, especially Emiya and Merlin, "We can't let a sword like that stay in this state any longer!"
- "Well, not that I don't already have such plans, but I understand your zeal in this matter," I reassured her.
I looked at the others and noticed Medusa's frown even through her mask.
- "Hmm? You don't have to worry about the Greek gods, Medusa. You don't think they'd be stronger than certain individuals here," I said.
- "No. I apologize, Master," she apologized and bowed.
- "Good. Since there are no other questions. Grandpa, do you want to look around?" I asked.
He nodded and disappeared. Damn, even I, who possesses two True Magics, couldn't sense anything. How cool!
- "Well. Gentlemen. What do you want for dinner?"
When does the story start in there? Uh, soon, I think.
-0-
Kuoh Academy. Medical room.
- "Sensei! I got a girlfriend!"
Wow. Murphy's Law seems to be working well.
It's definitely going to be noisy soon.