Ch 11: Coworkers
"Okay, I'm sorry. Can you run this by me one more time?" Egon asked his employee as he took off his glasses to wash his eyes.
Sitting in front of the professor were two animals sitting in their chairs. The first was a White Leghorn hen with a brain so massive it looked like it would belong to an overly sarcastic portrayal of a super genius. The second was a male Atlantic Giant Octopus who looked normal but was holding itself up on its right tentacle. Both animals were hooked up to a large machine that had something connected to their heads. According to Izuku, he made a translator for them since they couldn't speak.
After taking a breath and putting his glasses back on, he laced his fingers, put his chin on them, and started, "You did experiments on animals."
"Yep.", Izuku replied.
"You used a chicken and octopus, respectively.", Egon continued.
"Yep.", Izuku confirmed.
"During which…they both gained human-level thought and understanding?", He motions to the two animals.
"They do.", Izuku admitted.
"And now they look for employment…here?", Egon asked while pointing to his desk with both hands.
"Yes, yes, as if the boy just didn't get through explaining that the first time around.", Doctor Orpington chuckled through the translator.
"Hush! It's a lot to take in all at once.", Professor Cephalopod barked at her through the machine.
Egon looked at Izuku and said, "I think I should start watching over your experiments."
Doctor Orpington squawked and argued, "If anything, you should be giving him more freedom! Why has it taken him just a month and a half to find out perhaps one of the many secrets to evolution and quirks as a whole?"
Egon sighs and tells her, "Normally, I would be and should be. But I just can't get over…you two and your…desires?"
"What's so strange?", Professor Cephalopod asked back.
"You want to work. Here, for us, at this very facility?", Egon firmly asked them.
"We're we not clear?", Doctor Orpington asked back, a bit irritated.
Egon shakes his head and admits, "I just don't get it."
Professor Cephalopod argued, "What's not to get? You need workers, and we want to work."
"If anything, we crave it!", Doctor Orphington excitedly exclaimed.
"Yeah, but…your animals.", Egon begrudgingly told them.
"So are you.", Stated Professor Cephalopod.
Getting a bit irritated yet still holding his nerves, he argues, "No, well yes, that's not what I'm trying to get at here! I'm just saying that it seems kind…cruel."
"How so?", Doctor Orpington asked.
Deep in thought, Egon pushes away his hair before trying to explain, "Look, you're both animals, so you don't have rights like we do. You're not like us."
"We think like you.", Professor Cephalopod states.
"That's different!", Egon yells while slamming his hand on his desk, finally losing his cool and causing the two animals and teens to jump. Calming himself down and leaning back in his chair, he sips his cold coffee before explaining, "Look, I don't wanna say no, but we as a species have had our higher intelligence for the past few hundred thousand years. You two gained it through external means just a few days ago. The rules aren't going to just change for you two; trust me on that."
"What are you trying to say?", Inquisitively asked Professor Cephalopod.
Egon sighs, fearing having to explain this, and tells them, "We bought you, made you live here, and did experiments that heightened your awareness. We own you! And now you're saying you want to work for us? How am I supposed to pay you? Shrimp and corn? What would two animals, with no concept of money, even want with it? To me, it seems more like servitude, animal cruelty even! You'd have to live here full-time, and that just doesn't seem right."
"So you're concerned about the morality of the situation?", Professor Cephalopod inquired.
The two creatures looked at one another and smiled or something similar, and Doctor Orpington spoke on behalf of both of them: "You truly are a good man, professor."
"Also, I'm not sure if you're aware, but you two have stupidly short lifespans.", Egon admits to them with an uncomfortable expression on his face. "Doctor, you'll only live about ten years if you're lucky. And, professor, you'll live for only half of that. And if you mate, forget it! Plus, you both are already adults of your respective species, so you don't have much time." He tells them in a serious tone.
Izuku spoke out once again and informed him, "Actually, I did some tests, and it turns out that in addition to their intelligence being more human, they also have similar life spans."
Egon blinks, his body posture becoming calmer as he says while pointing at the professor, "Well, that solves that problem, but no sex for you!"
"I will restrain myself.", the professor agreed, doing a mock salute.
"As for our payment, food and boarding are nice, but perhaps we can use the company funds for our interest from time to time?" Doctor Orpington offered.
Egon took out a paper and pen from his messy desk and wrote down his thoughts. He told her, "That does sound like a good trade-off, but if you two want to buy something, you'll have to bring it up with me first, and I'll give the green or red light on it."
"That sounds perfectly fair.", she agrees alongside the professor's offer.
Egon then looks up from his writing and tells them, "Just one other thing. Respectfully, neither of you is a doctor or professor."
"Well, you're not a professor, doctor Egon.", Professor Cephalopod gurgles a laugh while vexing him.
"Professor rolls off the tongue better.", Egon pouts before wiping a hand across his face and telling them, "Fine, fine, just do some online courses in your free time.", The two agree, and Egon shakes a wing, and tentacle while saying, "Welcome to the team."
Ch 12: A little big problem
One day, Izuku knocked lightly on Professor Egon's door in the Research facility. He heard the knock, and judging by the sound of it, whatever Izuku had to tell him wasn't good. So he waited until he came in.
"Hey, professor.", Izuku called while opening the door.
"Yeah?", Egon called back, face deep in paperwork.
Izuku slid inside, fidgeted uncomfortably, and said, "I, um, figure out how to make the Splinters into permanent evolution and devolution ones. I also discovered that when two creatures of the same or very similar species are brought in together, in terms of DNA, and used as a catalyst, it will cause that creature to evolve into the provided DNA structure."
Almost instantly, his worries dissolved, and he exclaimed in zeal, "That's amazing! How'd you figure it out!", Izuku looked away and fidgeted once more. Egon felt his excitement fade, and he asked, "How'd you figure it out?", Izuku looked over to the side while smiling nervously. Egon sat up and exclaimed, his excitement replaced with worry as he firmly asked, "Izuku. What did you do?"
Before he could force himself to answer, the answer pushed itself through the door, and Izuku had to hold it back quickly! Egon was so shocked by what he saw that he almost passed out right there! After calming himself down, he looked at his coffee mug and poured it into a nearby plant.
"Please tell me the caffeine is getting to me.", Egon begged, as Izuku answered with a head shake.
Egon puts the mug down, takes a deep breath, and says, "Okay. From what you've just told me, I have two questions. Question number one.", He then explodes as he yells them instantly calm down, "Where did you get a baby elephant! And question two.", He explodes again, but more in a self agonizing way as he demands, "How did you get Mammoth DNA!?"
Izuku scratches his head as he holds the baby mammoth by its trunk and explains, "I called up a paleontology research facility, and they happen to have a lot of Mammoth bone bits that they used for carbon dating. I convinced them, and they managed to give me one.", He then looks away while rubbing his head as the baby sucks his fingers. He finally explains, "As for how I got a baby elephant…"
"Yes?", Egon firmly prompts him.
"I bought it off the black market.", Izuku said quickly while hunching into himself.
"You what!?", Egon yells so loudly that he knocks himself over and falls to the floor.
"I paid out of my own pocket with cash!", Izuku tried to reassure him quickly.
Egon jumps from the floor and bolts at Izuku! Grabbing his shoulders, he exclaimed to his face, "That's not what I'm angry about! You went on what I can only hope to be an illegal website with a throw-away computer and purchased a nearly extinct species of animal! Behind my back?! Are you out of your mind!", Izuku tried to open his mouth, but the words got caught as Egon continued his scolding, "What if you got scammed or hacked or killed or something even worse!", Izuku looked away, and Egon forced his head to look at him to which he stated, "Izuku! Listen to me, and listen to me very carefully! I am all for taking risks and getting messy in the name of science and for the good of its community. But you must know that there is a line that you mustn't cross, and what you did today just showed that you crossed it!"
On the verge of tears, Izuku whimpered, "I'm sorry."
Egon pulled away from the frightened boy and told him seriously, "Science, creation, and discovery aren't all about what you can do, but whether or not you should do it! That's what separates scientists from mad scientists."
"I'm sorry.", Izuku squeaked out once more, trying to hold it all back.
"For your sake, I really hope you are.", Egon told him while sitting back in his chair and letting out a stressed breath. After they both calmed down, "Anyway, at the end of the day, you did bring back an extinct species into the modern era. Something that the greatest minds have failed to do for centuries. I must commemorate you for that, but we speak nothing of this to the public! They are not ready, and neither are we.", Izuku nods in agreement as Egon follows up, "Also, why did it have to be a Mammoth? You couldn't have chosen to revive something a bit less dangerous?"
Izuku blinks, then kists off on his fingers, "Would you have preferred I revived the giant killer tooth tiger, the giant killer sloth, the giant killer rhino, the giant killer bird that runs, the giant killer bird that flies, the giant killer pig, the giant killer hyena, the giant killer lion, the giant killer bear, or the giant killer-."
Egon cut him off and half yelled, "Okay, okay, okay! I get it! You chose the least bad option and the only one you would have easy availability for, but don't do this again!", Izuku quickly nodded while looking at the ground in shame. Egon then went to his phone and dialed a number while telling the teen, "I'll call Uraraka Construction Co to make an enclosure for it. I'm placing you in full charge of its responsibility and care."
As he told Izuku this, the baby mammoth began chewing on one of the decorative plants and knocked over a huge stack of papers that did not even entertain the professor.
"Yes, sir.", Izuku quickly agreed, heading the baby mammoth out of the room and closing the door.
Once gone, Egon held the phone against his ear and shoulder while rubbing his temples and saying to him as the phone rang, "That kid needs to stop getting so excited and jumping headfirst into things. He's got a head on his shoulders; he should use it. He is seriously going to hurt himself someday."
Ch 13: A New Discovery
Professor Egon sat at his desk with Doctor Orpington sitting across from him as she showed off her newest invention. A proud look on her beak. A rocket launcher of sorts that looked like it came straight out of a cartoon with bright colors and funny chicken stickers. He looks between the hyper-intelligent bird and the weapon before taking off his thick glasses to rub his eyes.
"Okay, so run this by me again? You made what?", Egon asks after putting his glasses back in his face.
"An Egg Cannon.", the doctor told him, using her new, smaller translator, which was wrapped around her massive brain.
"Why?", Egon prompted her.
"For shooting eggs, of course.", the doctor explained.
"What purpose does this serve?", Egon asks back.
"No purpose. It's just fun. Work can't be work all the time.", Doctor Orpington told him with a chipper cluck.
"Okay, but like…making this doesn't bother you?", Egon asked with a cautious and worried tone.
"Not really.", She admitted.
"You-a chicken-making a cannon…that shoots eggs?", Egon asked while motioning to the device with all his fingers.
"Yes.", She replied happily.
Egon shook his head, seeing that she wasn't getting what he was implying. So he told her more forwardly, "Okay, so this is the equivalent of me making a Baby Cannon."
"Well, that wouldn't be efficient at all.", the doctor said back, making Egon raise an eyebrow until she followed up, saying nonchalantly, "Besides, you'd have to wait nine months to reload."
"Doctor!", Egon half yelled at her in disgust and shock.
"What!?", She exclaimed back.
"It's wrong! You're using your unfertilized children as ammunition and blasting them at terminal velocity! Doesn't that bother you?", He told her bluntly.
She shook her head and replied, "No more than you eating my uncooked children does."
Egon stopped as he was halfway to his mouth with a breakfast egg sandwich. Placing it down, he said aloud, "Sometimes I forget that chickens are psychopathic, homicidal, cannibalistic omnivores.", the doctor said nothing to him in reply and simply stared, making the professor relent and say, "Fine, fine, I'll allow it, but no fertilized one! Got it?"
"Understood.", she agreed while hopping on a strange machine.
It looked like a waiter cart but was heavily modified and metal. It had a steering mechanism for the doctor to drive around using her feet and two robotic arms that she could control with a touchpad using her beak. The two robotic arms grabbed the Egg Cannon and placed it on the cart before she maneuvered the machine out of the room.
Just before leaving, she nearly bumped into Izuku as he walked in and warmly greeted, "Doctor Izuku."
"Doctor Orpington.", Izuku greeted her back before the two went on their ways. Standing in the doorway and knocking on the frame, Izuku asked, "Professor, are you busy?"
"No, no, come in, Izuku.", Egon waved the boy in, motioning to a seat. Once he sat down, Egon laced his fingers and asked, "So what horrors have you birthed today?"
Izuku was shocked by the allegation and tried to argue, "I didn't-."
Only for Egon to chuckle and tell him, "I'm just messing with you! But, before you tell me what it is, I have some questions.", Izuku sat quietly as Egon took a breath and listed off, "Is it dangerous, alive, sentient, or potentially world-ending?"
"No.", Izuku answered back.
"Did you do anything dirty, underhanded, illegal, or behind my back?", Egon gave him a look.
"No!", Izuku exclaimed back, a bit irritated and hurt.
Egon sat back, smiled, and told him, "Then all of my concerns have been satisfied. What did you make or do, and don't leave out any—" He stopped himself after remembering what he had been told the last time he asked that, so he backtracked and told him, "On second thought, just give me the main points."
Izuku nods before taking out his notebook and exclaiming excitedly, "Okay, so I was doing some tests on the empty Splinters, and I made a huge discovery!"
Hearing his excitement and seeing his smile, Egon wanted to jump up but opted to simply ask back in equal excitement, "What is it, baby? What!?"
"So you know how you have all those cell samples from every part of your body?", Izuku started.
Only for Professor Cephlode, who was walking by with his new translator on his head and a cup of coffee, to overhear their conversation, stop in his tracks, peek his head in, and ask in confusion and concern, "Samples of what now from every part of your what?"
Egon shrugged at him and replied, "Why bother spending money on muscle, skin, and brain stem cells when you get them directly from a self-made source."
"I wondered why you were covered in so many injuries and scars.", the professor commented suspiciously, narrowing his eyes and taking a sip.
Izuku then interjected in their conversion and continued, "Anyhow, I put them all into a vial with a Splinter, and you'll never believe what happened!"
Egon waited for an answer and finally exclaimed, "Well, don't leave me in suspense! Tell me!"
"It made a copy of your quirk!", Izuku finally admitted, only for Eggon to fall right out of his chair. "Oh, my God! Professor Egon went into cardiac arrest again!", Izuku yelled in fear.
"Again?!", Yelled Doctor Orpington from down the hall.
"I'll get the defibrillator.", Professor Chephlode offered while rolling his eyes.
"I'm okay! I just fell off my seat.", Egeon shot up an arm from behind his desk to calm their worries. Once he stood back up and breathed, he said he was in disbelief. "I don't even know what to say! Are you sure?"
Izuku produced a Splinter from his coat pocket and held it up from the sea. Looking at the Splinter it didn't have the same glowing white effect that a normal one does. More of a prism-bending light shines on it.
A fact Egon observed aloud, "A different glow."
Then, without warning, Izuku gripped the crystal, and from his opposite hand, Izuku produced the same kind of crystal that Egon used to create the Splinters. In shock, Egon said nothing except stare until he finally babbled out, "Wait a second! That's my quirk?", he looked at the Splinter and asked Izuku, "Is this from-?"
Izuku nodded before he could finish, and Egon sat back in his chair. After polishing the rest of his coffee off, he pushed back his hair and asked, after absorbing that all in, "What was different from the blood and medicine Splinters? I even used some of my blood for the AB Splinter, and it didn't show any signs of my quirk."
"DNA. Pure DNA! Right here.", Izuku told him with an excited smile as he pulled out a vial that had a mixed red and blue color in it with bits of white.
It took Egon a few minutes to digest what he had just told him. He took the vial and looked it over like a child looking through a kaleidoscope. After a bit, the thought finally dawned on him, and he observed aloud once more, "This is a vial filled with my genetic code."
Egon then jumped from his feet, grabbed Izuku in a hug, and spun him around while stating, "Izuku, this is incredible! You just made and discovered the two greatest things in probable history!", Izuku couldn't help but feel happy for this and had to resist the urge to cry out in joy with him. But suddenly, Egon stopped his revelry and asked him, while still holding him, "But if you used the DNA samples I collected from my whole body to make the one you have, why do you have this?", he asked while motioning to the vail.
Izuku then explained to him, "Well, after I made the Splinter with your Quirk, I thought, 'Huh, I wonder what happens if I make one with pure DNA that doesn't take the form of anything else in the body?' After I figured out how to extract all the DNA, I put it in another Splinter's, and...how about I just show you.", he offered while bringing the Professor to a small room in the facility.
The room wasn't anything special; there was almost nothing in it apart from a small table with a large and ever-growing crystal on top. Every so often, when it got too big, a set of robotic arms came down from the ceiling and broke off huge pieces of it that fell into a suction vent that sucked it into a single corner of the room. In this corner was a machine that would take every individual shard, then cut, shape, and polish it in a uniform before sending it down a short conveyor belt and into a box with many others.
After looking over the machines and the box full of crystals ready to be made into empty Splinters, he made his way to the ever-growing crystal. Inside the center was a Splinter that looked exactly like what Izuku used to demonstrate!
Looking at the boy, the man could only say in a low, flabbergasted voice, "Woah."
"It's even more potent than this one since the strain was pure.", Izuku explained to him with a big smile.
"But why make this one?", Egon prompted him,
Izuku looked down while shuffling his feet. He explained, "You already do so much for the facility, making every Splinter we have. I just thought it would be good to give you a break in at least one regard. And besides, what if you get sick or hurt? And when you die, this place will probably shut down."
Egon smiles softly at him, ruffling his hair. He tells him, "Thanks for that, Izuku. You are a good kid with a good heart. Just have to make that head a little less fuzzy.", he says this while playfully pinching his nose.
Before they could continue this comfortable moment, a shrill voice squealed out of the room, "Doctor Izuku!"
Both men rushed outside into the main foyer, where they saw three things. Professor Cephalopod leaned on a wall and watched something in amusement as he drank his coffee. Doctor Orpington's cart was knocked over, and the Doctor was being chased around the room by the baby Mammoth, now called Gammoth, in a one-sided game of chase!
"Call off your beast at once!", the doctor squealed in urgency as she tried and failed to flap away.
"He's just playing with you.", Professor Cephalopod called back teasingly.
"I'm an adult weighing 13 pounds with hollow bones and a nearly exposed brain! He's a few moments old and already weighs 200 pounds! He'll kill me!" he crowed at him as Izuku ran up and grabbed Gammoth before he could catch her like a child attempting to catch pigeons at the park. Once safely secure, the doctor ruffled her feathers and demanded, "Keep that thing on a leash!"
Otto just bubbled up a laugh and walked off to his office. Egon helped flip her moving device back up and get out of the foyer while Izuku still had the baby. Once gone, Izuku let go of Gammoth, where he stood by his side.
"Izuku.", Egon said the boy's name as he walked up to him and said before stopping again, "With this discovery you've made….are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I'll create fliers and social media posts. I'll also separate a small portion of the facility money as an incentive for all volunteers.", Professor Cephalopod said from a bit down the hallway, waving a tentacle inside the foyer.
"Thank you, professor!", Egon called back before tiling Izuku excitedly, "Now we have a whole new avenue to discover!"
Ch 14: Experimental Log, subject: Quirk Splinter
This is Doctor Izuku Midoriya reporting once again with a new round of experiments with the Singularity Soul and, more specifically, the Splinters. I'll spare the details since I made them in a different report, directly to Professor Egon, but in short, I was able to extract pure DNA and place it into an empty Splinter, thus allowing me to copy a quirk. So far, I have only made a copy of Professor Egon's quirk to produce more Splinters.
I have also discovered that much like the blood and medical Splinters, when activated with a mental que, I can produce the quirk as if it were my own! I can put a quirk in a bottle! In a manner of speaking. However, this brings up a new thought.
Wouldn't putting a pure extract of a person just make that Splinter into said person, just in crystal form? Then why does a person's quirk become the main factor in the Splinter? The only theory I could come up with was that a quirk was something entirely different from the rest of the body. Something that lies in DNA but beyond it. And I believe that something to be the soul!
Our quirks are internally meshed with our souls, or at least fragments of them. So, in essence, I'm either taking a piece or copying a person's soul with this. However, as you can imagine, that theory has many holes, especially since the Singularity Soul can cause quirks to emerge. So, more tests will have to be done in that regard.
After finding and telling about this discovery, Professor Egon, with the help of Professor Cephalopod, was able to do some marketing to get volunteers for this experiment. Luckily, the process was easy; all the volunteers had to do was give their name, age, quirk, and description.
Surprisingly, we got over several dozen volunteers. Of course, much of that came from the $100 volunteer award. Either way, we have tons of blood samples to work with.
The only problem is extracting enough DNA to make a pure Quirk Splinter. I know what and how to do it, but I still need to get it down to a complete science. I'll report back with more results.
This is Doctor Izuku Midoriya reporting once again on the Quirk Splinter creation process. After two painstaking weeks of grinding, I finally extracted all the DNA from each blood sample to infuse into the empty Splinters. At that time, I had the process down to science. Now, I just have to make a machine to do it for me.
But forgetting about my gripes, I made an accidental discovery during one of my sleepless nights. When placing DNA into one of the vials I use for the absorption process, I accidentally placed two different DNA samples into the same one. Five days later, a Splinter with a perfect combination of both Quirks came, making a new one entirely!
After looking through my records, I discovered that both DNA samples I used were from twins with different quirks. I did some more tests, and this is what I've found: quirks are just as much a part of our DNA as hair, skin, and eye color and, as such, can be used to mix and match into different or strong ones.
For example, DNA samples from direct relatives such as twins, siblings, and first cousins can be mixed easily. Samples from parents and children can be mixed but with far less efficiency or just simply strengthen the original quirk. Samples made from strangers or two people of the same gender have a 0% success rate of melding together, except for when the quirks in question are very similar.
For example, if one person has a quirk that can produce a kerosene gel and another has a quirk that can ignite anything flammable, then the result would be a flame body quirk. As for two different quirks, making a completely different quirk, like in the case of the twins: one twin can sprout a pair of wings, and the other can control the wind. Thus, the result is the ability to make and maintain the wings of the air. As for a quirk being mixed between mother and child, imagine the mother having a quirk that produces the chemical compound glycerin, and the child can produce explosions. The result would be the explosion quirk becoming even more powerful than it might already be.
From this process, I was able to make hundreds of new Splinters! My only other question is whether I can triple the combinations or even take four, make two, and then combine those. This will require more testing, so Doctor Izuku Midoryia is signing off for now.
Ch 15: Protection
"Thank you for seeing me despite your busy schedule, Professor Egon.", Professor Cephalopod thanked his employer as he sat across from his desk. Doctor Orpington was accompanying him.
Sitting at his desk, Egon waved him off and graciously told him, "Of course, Professor Cephalopod. Now, what did you want to show me?"
Accompanying him were Izuku, who the octopus asked to join in the reveal, and Peet, who was eating out of a food bowl by the edge of his office desk.
Otto stood in his seat and explained, "As I'm sure you're very aware, this facility lacks Security. Don't get me wrong; cameras, locks, silent alarms, and bulletproof glass are all good. But with what we're doing, we need to be creative about hiding and protecting our assets. Catch them with their pants down, if you get my meaning.", he told him while pacing back and forth and talking like a drill sergeant.
Getting tired of the theatrics already, Egon sighs and firmly prompts him, "Yes, yes, just tell me what you've made."
The professor hops off his seat and skittles over to an object covered in a sheet he had brought. Grabbing it, he announces while ripping it away, "Presenting the Mimicutie!"
An ordinary lockbox made of standard-grade metal sat there. The sight of this did not impress either Egon or Izuku, who looked more disappointed and exasperated.
"A metal lock box?", Egon observed while shifting his glasses down to glance at the professor.
Otto said, "It's much more than that. Go ahead, put something in it."
Izuku and Egon looked at one another and shrugged. Izuku picked up the empty food bowl from Peet. Bringing the bowl over as the dodo honked in disapproval, the box suddenly sprang open. A mass of teeth and a long tongue snagged it up and swallowed it whole! After licking its lid, it burped.
"Woah!", cried Izuku as he whipped his hand away.
Egon sprang from his seat and scooped up Izuku, pulling him out of the perceived danger while Peet honked in fear and ran under Egon's desk! "It's alive!", he yelled before realizing and asking Otto in a small voice, "It's….alive?", to which he nodded.
"How did you make this?", Izuku asks as he hides in the living box from behind Egon.
"I mutated a Caulerpa Taxifolia with human flesh alongside several different Quirk Splinters that have been made recently by yours truly.", he explained with his ego showing.
"What a blowhard.", Doctor Orpington commented with an eye roll.
"Upon which a large flesh-like mass with teeth and eyes where they shouldn't be was born with a subconscious similar to that of a cat. I placed it in that lock box as a means of temporary holding, but it seems to have bonded and made the box a part of its body. After a few more tests and experiments, the Mimicutie was born!", he explained further in excitement and self-pride.
Egon looks between the octopus and the box and back to the octopus as he asks, "Okay, but how are we to use this…thing?"
Professor Cephalopod smiled with his eyes and told him, "I'm glad you asked. So long as the Mimicutie has a record of your scent, it will be completely docile. Anyone else will be ripped to shreds! It's the perfect tool to keep things we don't have the best confidence in and protect them by employing modern security science."
"How much can it hold?", Izuku inquired.
"As much as the box it inhabits.", the Professor answered.
"Can it change boxes?" asked Egon.
"I'm not sure about that. The object it inhabits becomes no different than the shell of a turtle.", the professor said.
"How can we get things out of it, and won't it just eat anything given?", Izuku inquired again.
The professor then tells him, "So long as it isn't organic, the Mimicutie can't digest it, which makes it a great organic waste disposal method! It can even safely dispose of radiation. As for how to get things out of it, I implanted it with a form of suggestive telepathy. So long as you think of the item in question, it will give it to you. So long as you know it's there.", he then walked up to the Mimicutie and said, "Observe."
Professor Cephalopod then holds out one of his tentacles, and the Mimicutie opens up while using its tongue to place a tightly sealed bag of fresh shrimp into said tentacle. To prove his point further, the professor then opens the new bag and begins to eat one shrimp after the other, much to the mixed amazement and disgust of all parties present.
"How do we care for it?", Egon wonders aloud.
Professor Cephalopod explains, "It only needs a cup of water every month, a consistent temperature, and something that's considered sunlight. Apart from that, it could go years without a meal. But it does eat meat primarily."
Egon sits back at his desk, removes his glasses, and rubs his eyes before breathing heavily. He sits there thinking for a while before placing his glasses back on, lacing his finger, and telling the octopus, "Okay, Professor. Stop whatever you're doing and mass-produce these things in different sizes."
As he nods, a thought crosses his mind, and just before the meeting ends, he says, "Ah yes, there is one more thing.", grabbing the man's attention, he tells him, "If attempting to maul their enemies to bits doesn't work, they have another defense mechanism."
Egon raises an eyebrow, then thinks aloud, "From what you've told me, I can only guess that the Mimi in Mimicutie is for its connection to the Mimic in DnD. But what about the cutie part? That must be its other defense mechanism!"
Professor Cephalopod nods and waves for him to follow while taking the Mimicutie away in a trolley. Izuku and Egon look at one another, shrug, and follow the invertebrate out. After that, they were taken to a testing chamber where the Mimicutie was placed at the center, and all the doctors and professors were safely standing behind the protective observation room. Professor Cephalopod brought out a shabby-looking robot, and after getting inside the observation room with them, he used a remote controller to make the robot walk over to the Mimicutie.
To which he looked at his coworkers and said with a pompous tone, "Observe."
The robot then began beating on top of the container, and the Mimicutie started to rustle and hiss. When it didn't stop, the Mimicutie jumped back and produced a set of long human legs wearing kitten-heel boots and fishnet stockings.
Professor Cephalopod smiles with his eyes and asks, "Impressive, no?"
Egon and Izuku stood there, mouths open in shock, while Doctor Orpingtonn glared at her companion with narrowed eyes.
After the initial shock washed over, Egon proclaimed, "Impressive!? That's two major awards in a box! How in the world is that supposed to be a defense mechanism?"
"Just watch.", Otto assured him.
Just then, the Mimicutie ran up to the robot like a drunk person and turned to its side. From there, it brought up its leg and began to produce a flurry of rapid kicks so fast that its legs couldn't be seen, and the robot didn't get blasted away during the entire exchange until the last one was he flew to the other end of the testing room. The Mimicutie then got into a low stance and began to spin like a top, closing the distance and catching the robot in a whirlwind of legs! And finally, the Mimicutie jumped into the air and came down feet first, puncturing a huge hole clean through the robot's metal body with both heels!
"Holy-.", Egon was about to yell a curse word until Izuku cut him off, saying, "Wow."
"What do you think?", Professor Cephalopod self-assuredly asked in his work.
Egon took a few minutes to process what he saw, remove his glasses, and rub his eyes. After that, he told the octopus, "I think it's crazy and just what we need. Like I said before, you have my permission. Just make sure they don't eat anyone by accident."
Professor Cephalopod nods with an eye smile and goes to retrieve his creation. He was leaving a flabbergasted Izuku and Egon with an exasperated Doctor Cluck with them.
Ch 16: New Hire
"Okay, people and animals. I'm sure you all know why I've called you here today.", Egon said while slapping a table in a meeting room where everyone was sitting around.
"It's your birthday?", Izuku guessed.
"No.", Egon replied.
"It's Christmas?", Otto guessed.
"No.", Egon replied more firmly.
"It's the anniversary of your vasectomy.", Cluck asked in a teasing tone.
"Are you serious?", Egon irritatedly asked.
"You called us here to tone down the crazy things we're making and doing to get the desired results?", Izuku guessed while fiddling with his fingers, making everyone tense up.
"No, but that is a good point. So long as you guys aren't doing anything illegal or immoral, it won't turn into an end-of-the-world scenario. I don't see any harm in letting you guys do what you want to do.", he told them, making everyone sigh before he slapped the table again and exclaimed, "No, why I called you here is about our team or rather…lack of it. We need to hire more people ASAP!"
"We also need an organizer, receptionist, and secretary just for you. I'm sure you're just chopping at the bit to do some of what we're doing.", Cluckcountersr off on her feathers in a tempting tone.
Egon sighed, rubbing his sore neck, saying, "I can't argue with that, but we need more heads. We have many avenues to cover and only three minds to work with. And I can safely say that after a lot of the things that we've made so far and were able to sell, we are far more financially stable enough to have more employees."
Otto clapped his tentacles and proclaimed, "Wonderful! Then let's set up some lectures at different universities and see who becomes interested. After all, what we do here would seem completely bogus to the unwise. So it's perfect to weed out the weak!"
"I'm in complete agreement with you, Professor, but I'll need you and the doctor to step out of this one.", Egon tells the two animals, who look at him incredulously. "Izuku and I will take the lead on that.", he states firmly.
"What? Why?", Cluck argues back.
"The world isn't going to magically be okay with talking animals overnight. It might cause an uproar or something worse.", Izuku tells them in a fake musical tone while wiggling his fingers.
"What about that Nezu fella? He's a talking animal that's known to the public.", Otto argues with a raised eyebrow ridge.
"Principal Nezu is a whole different can of worms.", Izuku tells him.
"And one we don't have the time to get into.", Egon adds firmly. Seeing their unpleasant expressions, Egon sighs and offers, "Look, we'll be the ones going to just about every university in Japan while you two will stay here and look up any potential employees and set up interviews."
The two animals consider this for a while until Otto finally relents and agrees, "Well, that is better than trekking around in the hot sun all day."
Cluck just shrugs with her coworker, also not wanting to walk all over the country.
Egon nods in approval while saying, in an exhausted tone, "That's Good to hear; now, let's set everything up and get to it. I seriously need a break!"
Many Failed University Lectures Later
Egon stomps his way out of the emergency exit of a university auditorium. His face is red with a mix of anger and embarrassment, and he practically foams at the mouth. Running behind him is Izuku, with a huge stack of things in his arms. All these things are used as demonstrations and charts and graphs for lectures.
"That was the 20th auditorium we were laughed out of! Is it me? Is it you? Is what we're doing really that unbelievable?", Egon lamented.
"From a third-person perspective.…it kind of does, but at least this one apologized and gave us our money back for wasting our time," Izuku admitted while taking all the objects down and counting a stack of cash he pulled from his pocket.
"We've been to every University and college in Japan and not one promising person or a smig of interest from all those two dollars, half-brained, money-wasting, idiotic leches! This! Is! Hopeless!", Egon yelled while dropping to his knees and yelling into the sky.
Izuku rubbed his cheek and offered, "Maybe we should have brought the Professor or Doctor with us. Nothing tells the truth like hyper-intelligent talking animals."
"Maybe.", Egon admitted while his face was flat on the ground.
"Also, we still have one more college. Maybe this one will be a winner!", Izuku tried to assure him in a chipper tone.
Egon sighed deeply and lamented, giving in, "Then let's get it over with so I can go cry into a tub of ice cream and fried chicken."
Later
Egon stood before a now-empty auditorium with an expression that could only be considered to contain anguish. Besides him was Izuku, who felt like a clown for suggesting one more. After calming down a bit, his eye twitched, and he broke his pointing stick in frustration.
After getting that out of his system, he stated, "Well…I guess that's it. What a piss-up!"
"It could've been worse?", Izuku tried to offer.
Egon groaned and told him, "Thank you for the optimism, Izuku. But it's not appreciated at the moment.", after wiping his hands across his face and making a painful sound, he began to pack his belongings while saying, "Let's go back so I can put myself into a food-based hangover."
"What happens if you infuse the two polarities together? Also, what would happen if you turned the frequency into a baseline instead of positive or negative? Would sound waves have any effect on this?", asked a voice that sounded close to Egon.
Thinking it was the boy, Egon repressed the urge to growl and told him, "Izuku, I'd love nothing more than to trade theories with you, but right now, Im-."
"That wasn't me.", Izuku cut him off swiftly.
After hearing this, Egon looked into the empty auditorium one last time. He looked closely, narrowing his eyes and putting a hand over them to see better. After scanning the area, he finally came upon one single person left sitting in the now-empty hall.
"Professor Egon? Did you hear me?", the person asked aloud.
Going over to his assistant, Egon mouthed to him, "I think we found a winner."
After this, Egon and Izuku invited the only person left to an impromptu interview outside the college's building. They sat on benches, looking across from one another on a stone table. The person left was a man in his late 30s wearing typical college attire. He was evenly tanned with blue eyes and a mild build with a height of just under 5'3" height. His face was angular, and his eyes were tired. On his head was not hair but five tube-like attachments that seemed to move independently. Four of the five were very snake-like but had no features apart from a mouth in which the teeth were made into the lips instead of being covered by them. The fifth one was like a tail.
Thanks to Izuku, they obtained a large chunk of his background for this interview, and Izuku was given the chance to do the interview.
After looking it over briefly, Izuku asked him, "So Mr….Hankyō Suru, am I saying that correctly?", the man nodded. "Well, Mr. Hankyō, I do like what I see so far, though I have a few questions for you, if that's alright.", once again, he nods. After flipping a page, Izuku inquired, "I can't help but notice two things; first off, you are well into your late 30s and attending college, so there's nothing wrong with that. Education should never be based on age, only those willing to learn. It also says here that you have over a dozen years of experience in the music industry as a singer and performer. What compelled you to take such a drastic shift in career choices?"
Hankyō blows out the air in a stressed manner before explaining, "Where do I start? Well, I'm sure you have no idea who I am, but back when I was a singer, I used to go by the name Five Chord Gus."
"Oh, I think I've heard of you. You're from Europe, if I'm not mistaken. I know because I heard your rendition of "O mio babbino caro by Puccini," if I'm not mistaken.", Egon cuts in with recognition.
"That's me. I used to sing a lot of songs back in my day.", Hankyō confirmed as he continued, "As for why I choose to pursue a different career choice, especially at this stage of my life…well, I'm sure you know. Still, I'll tell you everything anyway. I want to be completely transparent with you since you're considering hiring me."
They look at one another and nod, and Izuku prompts him to continue. After some internal conflict, Hankyō admits, "Ever since I was young, my quirk-Five Living Chords-gave me full control, range, and frequency of my vocals. I was a natural prodigy at singing. And my parents…my parents used this. From when it manifested to the point my career ended, my parents used my talent to make a bank! Every day was always about how I can improve and how I can get even bigger.", he said in an irritated and disgusted tone. After breathing to calm himself, he continues saying, "Anyway, as you can guess, that was a lot of undue stress on a developing child, and my mind was hanging on by a thread for my whole life until I finally snapped. I am not proud of it, but I killed a lot of people on my very last performance day. Several people in the crowd, a few security guards, my manager, and my parents."
He stops with a shaky breath and wipes away a stray tear. After calming down enough to speak correctly, he tells them, "None of those people deserved to die. Except for my parents and my manager! I'll never deny my feelings on that!", he proclaimed boldly, making the two men across from him sweat drop. Hankyō coughs and continues with an apology, "Sorry. I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I managed to get out of any legal trouble by settling outside of court. When my head cleared a bit, I had a recollection of what I did and checked myself into a mental ward. I got out in a year and spent the next few figuring out myself. My entire life, my world revolved around my talent for singing and nothing else. I had to do what most kids have their whole lives to do! That's when I realized I had a knack for discovery and knowledge but didn't like going outside. So I decided to become a researcher and enrolled in this university."
He takes another shaky breath, hugging himself to calm down before babbling, "But I'll be honest, my only two regrets in life were killing all those people during my breakdown and never helping my two older siblings. My parents always shunned them, and I was favored up until the oldest turned 18 and moved out with the middle. I never saw them again. I hope they are happier now than when they were with my parents. God, I miss them so much, I wish I could apologize to them.", Hankyō realized what he was saying and doing, he retracted while apologetically stating, "I'm sorry, I'm rambling."
Izuku waves it off and tells him, "No, no, no. You needed to get that off your chest. Though if I may. Why come to Japan?", Izuku inquired.
Hankyō shrugs and tells him, "Just needed to get away from….everything. A fresh start, ya know?"
Izuku nods, looks to Egon, then back to Hankyō while asking, "Uh, could you give us the room?"
Hankyō nods and walks off to a different spot, allowing the two men to speak semi-privately. From there, Izuku stands and asks his superior, "Professor, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Yes!", he exclaimed.
"So you think we should give this guy a chance and hire him.", he asked to make sure.
But Egon disappointed him as he admitted, "I was thinking we should stop by my favorite American restaurant and get some of their new cheese fries, but let's do your thing first.", Izuku gives him a half-lidded stare while Egon shoots back, "What?! I'm hungry!"
Izuku shakes his head and walks back over to the man who is now making a flower crown.
"Mr. Hankyō?", Izuku started, making the man stand up. The teen then stuck out his hand and smiled, "Welcome aboard! Once you've graduated, you have a job waiting for you in the Neo Icon Phoenix Research facility!"
Hankyō's face lit up like a Christmas tree, and he exclaimed in an excited voice while shaking his hand hard and fast, "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! I'll do my best to make you both proud! You won't regret this!", the boy and his head tendrils shaken like crazy.
Seeing that Izuku was stuck, Egon broke it up by saying, "Don't thank us yet; you'll also have the pleasure of running your division."
Hankyō stopped shaking and clutched a nearby tree. Looking ready to pass out, he asked, "My….my division!?"
"It can be anything you want.", Egon tells him.
"Well then….", Hankyō thinks for a minute before offering, "How about the Sound Division?!"
The two men look at one another, shrug, and Egon says, "If that's what you want."
After many thanks and handshakes, goodbye. Izuku and Egon begin to walk away from the college. Once they're seemingly far enough away, Egon turns to Izuku and asks, "Should we be worried that the guy who has music-based PTSD wants to make an entire research division solely to the study of sound?"
"Let's put a pin in it for now.", Izuku tells him with equal concern. To which Izuku asks, "Should we have told him about his other co-workers?"
Egon thinks about it, mentally rejects it, and replies, "Let's cross that bridge when we arrive. Speaking of which, I wonder how they did on their manhunt."
Later, at Neo Icon Phoenix Research Lab
"You found and set up how many?!", Egon exclaimed in shock as he looked over his two animal employees.
"Six in total. That includes your assistant, secretary, and organizer.", Professor Cephalopod answered while adding sugar to his coffee cup.
As Egon stands in shock, Izuku does quick math and corrects him, "Your math is off. It would be eight, not six."
"You'll see what I mean at the interviews.", Professor Cephalopod says vaguely with a knowing look, making Izuku more concerned than curious.
"So, how did your search go?", Doctor Orpington asked, pecking at a loaf of bread.
"Like shit.", Egon groaned while rolling his eyes.
"We did find one.", Izuku corrects him.
"Wow.", Professor Cephalopod resists the urge to chuckle while Doctor Orpington holds no bars back and clucks out loud in laughter.
"Hey! Don't laugh! We were kicked, laughed at, and chased out by many of those uptight universities! We were lucky to get just one!", Egonnsanps at the two creatures. After sighing in frustration, he states, "Anyhow, let's hope these six people meet our criteria during the interviews. Headhunting is harder than it looks."
Ch 17: Interview
Over the past two weeks, Egon and Izuku were able to interview every last person set up by Professor Cephalopod and Doctor Orpington. Each person came on a different day, and the interviewer changed from Izuku to Egon when one of them wasn't busy. Rarely was it to have both, and like before, Egon told Cephalopod and Orpington to take a back seat on this one, much to their dismay.
The first person they interviewed was an older Japanese woman with short black hair, a muscular yet chunky body, and a blue eye with one covered in an eye patch. Today's interviewer was Izuku, who skimmed through her background and resume.
"So, Ms. Copayash Cho, it says you're 40 years old?", he asked as the woman nodded. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not judging you because of your age. I'm just curious why you would be looking for a new job, "Izuku assured her, already thinking about the worst-case scenario with his question.
She thought for a minute, then explained, "Well, I felt like I needed a change of pace, and retired life just wasn't cutting it for me. It's more something to keep me busy. As I am sure you saw, I have several degrees in manufacturing, construction, and research."
Izuku confirmed with a nod and, glancing at her resume, said, "I did. So what exactly did you do for work before this?"
"I was a decorated war veteran, purple heart.", she told him nonchalantly.
"War veteran!", Izuku exclaimed while nearly falling out of his seat.
Cho then took out a few items from her bag and placed them in front of him. The first was a picture of her in full uniform and covered in medals. The next was a purple heart certificate. Izuku had to blink several times to ensure he saw this correctly.
In a small voice, he said, "Oh my goodness!"
"I lost my eye because I helped in the battle of Criss Crossing by hot-wiring the enemy tank and using it against them. That's when I lost my eye. I was able to bring the battle machine back, take it apart, see how it was made, and draw up schematics for us to use." She spun her short tale with a nostalgic tone.
"That's incredible!", Izuku exclaimed while pushing his hair back. He then stood up and saluted her, stating, "Well, ma'am, allow me to say thank you for your services, and you're hired!"
Cho stood up with a smile and saluted him back.
A few days later, Egon was interviewing the next person who came. A tall, scruffy, and scrappy man with pink hair and golden eyes, covered in grease and oil with many tears in his clothing. In short, he did not look ready for an interview. His smile was immense and proud, his excitement palpable, his eyes alert or eye. Since he only had one, and the other with a small portion of his face was covered up in a mechanical replacement.
Wary of him, Egon looked through his background check and resume. After some thought, he broached the topic, asking, "Mr. Shishi Hatsume, it says here you had some…problematic behavior with your other workplace. Care to explain your side of the story?"
He smiled while proudly pointing a thumb at himself and explaining, "Ah yes! I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I consider myself somewhat of an out-of-the-box genius!"
"Go on.", Egon prompted him.
"So I like to do things and test things that others don't or won't do! So that got me into a lot of trouble!", He continues.
"I see.", Egon confirms.
He then sighs while shrugging and says, "So they fired me! But whatever I did, I got results, even if they exploded three or ten times! That's also how I replaced one of my eyes!"
"Uh huh.", Egon replied while narrowing his eyes.
"If you are still not convinced, allow me to show you one of my inventions!", he offered, taking something from inside his overalls and placing it on the table while exclaiming, "Ta-da!"
Egon narrows his eyes as he observes aloud, "A toy sci-fi gun?"
In front of him was what looked like a plastic ray gun, painted and decorated with stickers to make it appealing to children.
Hatsume giggles and tells him, "That's just to make it appear less threatening. Allow me to demonstrate."
He then pointed the toy at a small potted plant and shot. A beam came out, grabbed the plant, and pulled it right to his hand.
The only thing Egon could say was, "Wow."
"It's a tractor beam!", Hatsume said in a sing-song tone before things went wrong.
As soon as the plant reached him, several other random things started to shift before flying at him and attaching to his body alongside Egon, who was pulled right out of his seat! From there, he was pressed front to front with Hatsume, nose to nose, in a very awkward position!
The two of them looked at one another for a long while before saying, in a coy tone, "Oh, sir, I didn't know you cared."
"Turn. It. Off!", Egon growled at him.
He flicked the off switch, and all the attracted items, including Egon, finally fell or broke away.
Egon grunts at him, and Hatsume chuckles nervously, "It might still have a few bugs."
After straightening out his lab coat and fixing his glasses, he tells the man, "If we hire you, then you'll have to be monitored, not interact with others while working, and be placed in a highly secure room so you don't cause too much destruction."
"Sounds perfect to me!", Hatsume answered in zeal.
After brushing himself off, Egon extended his hand and said, "Well, welcome aboard, Mr. Hatsume. Please don't make me regret this decision.", he told him in a flat tone as Hatsume shook his hand excitedly.
A week after that, the next newcomer came and was interviewed by Izuku. Once again, with a background check and resume on hand, he looked over everything she had and liked what he had seen so far. The interviewee was a young woman in her mid-20s with long, straight blond hair, green eyes, a mix of yellow and pink accessories, and glasses, and appeared to be mixed Japanese and Spanish. She seemed to be very excitable and always had a bright smile on her face the whole time.
Before Izukus could say anything, the woman joyfully said, "First of all, I'd just like to thank you for giving me this opportunity, sir!"
"Thank you for coming out here, Ms. Aiko Miyazaki.", Izuku replied, making sure to pronounce her name correctly.
She giggles and waves her hand, offering, "Oh please, call me Honey Lemon. All my friends do."
"Well, Honey Lemon, I like what I see so far. You have many degrees and credentials to go with it.", Izuku complimented her as he reviewed her resume.
"Thank you. I worked very hard to get them.", Honey Lemon said with a proud smile.
"I'd just like to ask-.", Izuku began before she suddenly cut in again.
"Oh! And if you're unsure about my abilities, I bought something to show you. Do you have anything made of metal?", she asked while digging through her enormous shoulder bag.
Izuku was unsure but allowed curiosity to take over, and he went to his comlink. Talking over, he called into the facility, "Can someone bring me something made of metal we don't need?", he then pushed the speaker button again and stated firmly, "And not a Mimicutie this time, please."
A few minutes later, an in-process robot created by Doctor Orpington walked in with a metal sheet. Once it stood the solid piece up, it left, and Honey Lemon finally found what she was searching for. She jumped to the metal sheet and began to spray it with something that came out of a pink-colored spray bottle. After several sprays, it left a pink mist hanging all around it. From there, she pulled out another device that electricity charged the air around the mist and instantly turned the metal slab pink.
"Ta-da!", Honey Lemon proclaimed.
"So…pink.", Izuku observed while trying not to sound unimpressed.
She chuckled excitedly and said in a sing-song tone, "Here's the best part."
She then walked up to the pink metal and touched it with only her index finger. Right away, the sheet seemed to explode in a pink cloud all around them! Some of it was dusting Izuku's face, hair, and coat.
"Woah.", was the only thing he could say in amazement.
"I know, right? Chemical metal embrittlement!", Honey Lemon exclaimed in zeal as she took over her pink-colored glasses and tried to brush off her pink outfit.
Izuku quickly dusts himself off. Sticking out his hand, he tells her, "Well, Honey Lemon. You're hired."
Honey Lemon squealed in delight and began to rapidly shake Izuku's hand while half yelling, "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!", She quickly realized how hard and rough she was shaking him and stopped while apologetically saying, "Oh! I'm sorry."
The next day, Egon took up the following interview and was met with a man whose features were hard to pin down since several parts of him kept changing to different animals. The only constants were his green eyes and brown hair.
Looking at his record and resume, Egon inquired, "Mr. Anima Genus, it says on your resume that you were a zoologist. Why come to work here."
Genus looked like he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he explained, "My previous work had me only studying animals and their environments, behavior, and nothing else. I wanted to try and find a new way to help animals adjust to new environments and bolster the population. Not dig through rhino dung to study their diet! I thought about changing my career choices for that, and here I am."
"I can understand your frustration.", Egon sympathizes with the man before looking and thinking things over before saying, "Well, consider yourself hired."
Two days after that, both Izuku and Egon were able to collaborate on the following interview. With the information in hand, the two men stood across from their next potential employee. It was a short, stout woman of African descent. Her skin was colored like soil, freckles decorated her cheeks, and her hair was a giant blush shaped like an afro.
Egon was the first to start by saying, "Mrs. Pamela Hollyhock. I'm a bit concerned with what I've found out about you.", She raised an eyebrow as he continued and asked her, "You created a literal monster Venus flytrap, and it ate three people. Care to explain that?"
She huffed at that, then answered, "Well honey, back when I worked at the Tokyo Botanical Research Facility, I had told my coworkers not to come into one of the greenhouses for a while as I was working on a special self-made assignment. I took it up with the whole chain of commands, and they okayed it. But a couple of yahoos tried to sneak in to steal it to take credit. And we'll, you can guess what happened after. So I had to take the blame and got canned."
Izuku whistles in shock and amazement and says, "Woof. What a deal breaker. I hate it when companies do nothing to protect their employees from the prospect of saving face.", Hollyhock nods in reply. Izuku then goes off track and says, "I can't say that those people deserved it, but if you get killed by a stationary plant, then at that point, it's natural selection."
He looks at Egon, and he shrugs nonchalantly.
Hollyhock hums and agrees, "I hear ya, honey."
"I do have one more concern to bring up—your hair. There's nothing wrong with it; it's just…well, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that a work environment like this has many dangers, including machinery and chemicals. I wouldn't want you to get hurt.", Egon attempted to tell her as nicely as he could.
She smiles and assures him with a wave, "Not to worry, sweetie. I can control all plant life.", with a twitch of her head, her afro sinks and morphs into long braid-like veins. She then wiggles her index finger, and the potted plant on Egon's desk grows so large and fast that it breaks its pot, sprouts, and cuts white flowers.
The two men watch this in awe before looking at one another in amazement, then back to her, where Egon proclaims, "Wow! Well, you're hired!"
On the last day of the two weeks, Egon took hold of the previous interview and needed clarification going in. It was an interview for one, but there were three different jobs. Was one person trying to do three jobs? It made no sense, and Professor Cephalopod, who set it up, could have been more helpful in explaining it and just being vague with a knowing and entertained glance.
When he got to his office, he was even more confused when three identical people beset him. They were all females in their 30s, tall and thin, with blue eyes and black hair. They were all wearing the same clothes, and in fact, they all looked exactly like one another, apart from their hairstyle. The one on the right had long hair in curls at the ends. The one in the middle had medium hair in ringlets. The one on the left had short hair that was side-swept.
Upon seeing Egon, all three girls got up and bowed deeply to him, saying in scary unison, "Greetings, sir."
Egon was taken aback and didn't know how to reply, which gave the girls more than enough time to introduce themselves.
"I'm Morgan.", Said the girl with long hair.
"I'm Megan.", Said the girl with medium hair.
"And I'm Millicent.", Said the girl with short hair.
Egon noted how all their voices sounded the same. After adjusting himself to the uncomfortableness, he greeted them and asked, "Nice to meet you girls as well. So you're all looking to become my organizer, secretary, and receptionist, right?" He then looked down at his hands that held their resumes and observed aloud, "But you only gave me one resume. Why is that?"
"We are one person.", all three answered in unison.
Egon raised an eyebrow and asked, "Sorry? What do you mean?"
The three girls closed their eyes and began vibrating faster until they became three blurry images! The three melded into one, and after the vibrating stopped, there stood a beautiful woman like the three girls before. She had the same face, eyes, and everything else apart from her long, straight hair.
The woman bowed and greeted in the same voice but with a different tone, "Hello, sir. My name is Morgan Lafell. My quirk allows me to split my body and consciousness in three ways. I've done this so often that my other personalities do not like being in one body for too long."
Egon blinks a few times and replies, "This makes a lot more sense.", After adjusting himself, he tells the woman, "While I understand the fact you are three people with one body, by law, I can only pay you one salary."
"That was to be expected.", Morgan agreed with a nod.
Egon looked over her resume, and after a bit of thought, he said, "Well, I like what I see in your resume. So you're hired."
Egon looked up from the paper only to see the three girls again, speaking in unison, "Thank you very much, sir!"
Egon had to repress the urge to freak out. Instead, he forcefully blew out air to stay calm as he muttered, "That's gonna need some getting used to."
After the two weeks had ended, Egon called for all the interviewees to attend a meeting at the facility a few days later on their first official day of work. Everyone had gathered in the front entry loft, where talk was a buzz in the area as everyone got to know one another. However, the conversation quickly subsided when Egon and Izuku entered the room.
"Everyone, everyone, please gather around.", Egon called as everyone present formed a circle around the two men. Egon cleared his throat and announced, "As the owner and operator of the Neo Icon Phinox Research Laboratory, I would just like to be the first to say welcome and congratulations. It is a pleasure to have each one of you here working with us." Everyone clapped in response, with some jumping for joy, whistling, or laughing. Egon put up his hand, and once quite again, he said, "I expect to see great things and greater achievements from all of you. I hope you can make me proud."
"Yes sir!", Everyone announced in unison.
Egon clapped his hands and stated, "Great to hear. Now, if any of you have questions or concerns regarding anything, please bring it up with me or the Vice President Doctor Midoryia.", He motioned to the small boy beside him, who looked like a frightened dog that just got yelled at for pooping inside the house. No hands went up, much to Izuku's relief. Public speaking was never a skill for him. That is until Hollyhock raised her hand.
Izuku gulped and steadied himself as he called out, "Yes."
She asked the two men, "How exactly did you two run this place? It's huge and has been in operation for weeks. How'd you do it?"
The two of them looked at one another before smiling as Egon answered, "I'm glad you asked because I was thinking of a way to tell you all that. Before all of you, we had two others helping us. They'll be your senior coworkers, and I warned you they are a bit strange."
All the people looked at him, confused or like he was crazy, making Egon sweat drop at seeing them not understand.
Izuku tugged on his sleeve and offered, "Maybe it would be better if we just showed them.", Izuku then went over to the front desk phone and pushed the facility speaker button; he called, "Professor Cephalopod and Doctor Orpington, please come to the main foyer."
After putting the phone down, they were all struck by the sound of something very fast speeding down the hallway and moving in their direction! After finding the source, they all stepped away from the hallway as they heard two voices yelling at each other. Both were getting closer and closer with each word.
"Slow down, you pompous poultry!", Professor Cephalopod screamed in fright.
"I can't! You're slimy fish bowl fried my controls!", Doctor Orpington screamed back at him as she attempted to gain control over her cart.
"We're going to crash!", the professor yelled as one of the foyer walls zoomed into view.
"I'm gonna die!", Crowed the Doctor in terror.
Suddenly, the mechanical cart crashed into the wall at top speed, with bits of parts, metal, glass, and water flying all over the place as everyone jumped out of the way, covered themselves up, or watched in a mixture of awe and horror! The last thing to happen in the chaos was a single wheel that rolled out from the wreckage and spun around to stop on the floor in front of them.
"What was that!?", the Morgana triplets asked in unison.
"Your...coworkers.", Egon drowned.
The two animals pulled themselves out of the wreckage and stumbled into view. Luckily, it did not seem like they were hurt; the impact just dazed them. Otto was the first to shake out of his stupor and see that all the new employees were looking at them in confusion. Adjusting himself and his translator, he saw his compatriot and tried to get her back into motion.
He slapped the doctor on the back and said, "Put yourself to getting Penny Henny! Our new work associates are here, and you're making us look bad!"
"My brain feels like pudding.", Cluck replied in a dazed tone, with swirls in her eyes.
Preceding trying to help her, he turned around and introduced himself after clearing his throat: "Greetings, everyone. My name is Professor Otto Cephalopod. It's a pleasure to be working together with so many intelligent minds. And the half-dead bird you see is my associate, Doctor Cluck Orpington.", he motioned to the chicken that could barely stand on its legs.
Suddenly, Cluck shook herself back to consciousness and exclaimed, "Your associate? I think you mean my associate."
Otto rolled his eyes and shot back, "Of course, you'd come out of your stupor for a comment like that."
"What's that supposed to mean!?", She yelled while getting into his face.
"Why don't you use that big head of yours to figure it out, chicken little!", He yelled while pushing her back.
She growled and yelled, "My head may be big, but at least my brain is smarter than yours, Squidward!"
Otto curled his tentacles in anger and proclaimed, "I hate how his name and species don't correlate!"
As the two of them continued to bicker, everyone else stared at the two hyper-intelligent animals in awe, wonder, and confusion. This made Egon slap his face while Izuku smiled and laughed awkwardly.
"Talking animals.", Hankyō observes aloud.
"Cool!", Honey Lemon, Hatsume, and Genus speak in unison.
"I hope you boys didn't make any talking plants.", Hollyhock asks suspiciously.
"Not yet.", Egon tells her with a sigh, knowing the inevitable.
"You could be the first.", Izuku jokingly offered.
Cho shakes her head and states, "Welp, I've officially seen it all."
Hankyō places a hand on her shoulder and tells her, "I get the feeling you're saying that too soon."
As he told her this, Peet walked into the room, attracted to all the commotion, and began to peck mindlessly at the destroyed machine. Cho went to open her mouth, but Hankyō tightened his grip, making her look at him, where he solemnly shook his head. Cho understood and dropped it, allowing everything to play out as it was…in chaos.