Burned Chapter
Evil always shows up to let us feel the importance of God being exist.
__
The dilemma merely shows between what's good and what's not. I might go back to a few days ago, when it was still the same. Taking me as a tool led to mistrust. If I think of holding again, who would be here throwing the rope?
The words held me back. Back to the prism of thousands of silent concerns. I only hear breaths around. And the clock ticking on the wall. Peacefully, at its pace. I again found myself holding the feather entangled between my fingers. The nights are long. It felt like the clock had stopped. I put the feather beside the quill pen holder and lock my sight on the path leading to the main door. Forthwith, I feel a mild wind crush through the empty place. All the pages instantly floated in the void. I could not see how the flames in the candle were extinguished all of a sudden. I only felt that even the dim light went out. I took my glare back on the path. I saw a shadow.
_____________
'So, what are you going to do?'
I paused at the moment when it was asked. Sometimes, it is good to take a break. A break from eternity. I might not close my eyes. Yet all-seeing, I want to cross the line. A line that always halted my pen and forced me to give it a full stop.
Yesterday was a mystery. While the future is mesmerizing. All I could do now is to wait until the page turns itself. I have to keep writing. Cause if the clock stops, I might lose the chance to finish.
I am walking under faded clouds. I forgot my umbrella today. If rain starts falling now, I can not run and hide under a shelter. I choose to stand still today. But the rain is nowhere to be seen.
Besides the umbrella, I forgot some company today. Although it left me but I still dream of standing between an unenforceable tension. The same path holds different memories. So different that I could not recognize myself. I merely find what had already been decided. I only feel mild wind and the coldness before a calm storm.
I never bought a new quill, only changed the ink. Not because it had finished, but it just could not run with me at the same pace as before. And before it could halt me, I replaced it.
I heard a sound around me. Hammering my head from inside. I feel the temptation. I feel the wrath. It could only show me the distance. I kept it in mind.
____________
"I don't feel good about it anymore. I think it needs a quick setup. I can understand him from far behind. He was so cold. And I realised he chose to be."
I never open up to anyone like that before. Talking about Finch, I might as well turn back. But I have to make things right.
"It will be a burden-" "Nothing about him is a burden."
I almost shouted. I was always like that. He is my new concern. And I added it with full of my longing. Even if it lets me meet with uncertainties, it would be my honour to welcome it.
"Finch, did you even decide according to-" "Root. I know what I am doing. And you have to tell me no lies." "But-"
How do I suppose to think? Did I write all those? A sudden pause on a very busy schedule sometimes hits hard. I felt like it was out of a certain rule. The sun always rises in the east, doesn't it? I would never welcome myself to enjoy the eclipse.
I saw some inclined eyes calling storms. I heard thunder. And the cold wind doesn't feel cold today. I feel warm. I feel a blanket around me, making sufficient room to feel comfortable.
I won't lie today. Why would I? A writer never lies with his words. What he writes, writes from something whether living or imagining, it stays somehow within him.
The page didn't turn slowly. I could not handle the pace. A sudden thrust came toward me. And if it chose to turn like this, I would have left the quill here.
'But-' I fear. I fear writing. I fear continuing to write. I fear holding the same pace for each word. How can one suppose to show up and dispel all the orders? I was holding the candle and was waiting with it. Why did it dim off? Why all of these sudden appearances?
And I still won't lie today. Although the ink dried up. Although I put it in a different place, I will still come up with an excuse to change it instantly. Like I always did. A further lie won't cost much. Otherwise, I had always been genuine. Genuine with my words. Genuine with the promises.
I saw- staring unblinkingly from a few metres away. What was with the sight? A Curse?
I always held a profound relationship with my quill to the words. We always pray to God to punish the evil whereas the evil always shows up to let us feel the importance of God being exist. Just the necessity of wrong for the existence of good.
When the clock started to move slowly, I felt each second turning from torture to peace. There's a saying- We perceive the world as we want to. What if today the clock stops forever?
I again dip my quill in the ink. I have so many words in my head, battling with each other to come first. In the end, I could not even write a single one. Nobody could decide who was the winner!
I found an empty page today. After giving it a thousand hours. But I wrote so many things here. Some words that words can not describe. I put it aside to dry it up. I might then throw it on the fire. What if someone sees it?
I won't lie today. I saw the shadow closing the distance towards me. I was paused at the moment. Just smelling some burning flames. How beautiful the scene was!
I heard thunder rumbling and felt heavy wind. Initially, it distracted all of the pages and pretended to make amends! How can I even end it up?
I look directly at his hazel eyes. I was smelling a burning scent around me. And I know the clock will never get back to the next second. I did make my one move, I guessed he showed up to write after my full stop.
I made my second step, I assumed why he was down on his knees. Was it too cruel to face the world? Or, was it just that the evil showed up in the late hours?
Then, what is good here? Who is even the God here?
I took the last step and stopped my writing. How can even one suppose to read those? Read those- what I never wrote? Then, where do the million words go?
"I will tell you no lies." There would never be a full stop. I might put down the dried quill once again and take a break from reality and let the clock run. Embrace the shadow. Cause I love curse. At least, it assures me of my next step.
Forthwith, I saw a smile. I saw pain in the eyes. I saw sadness glittering. I saw blood pumping faster.
If it turns out this way, I would rather burn the chapter. I would rather invite evil and stop time. Made it a dark place by not seeing the difference between them. Then, finally, I can see who God is here.
.....