...
{3rd Pov}
Subaru stood frozen in place, his body refusing to move even after Al (or Aldebaran, as he had introduced himself) turned away, tossing a half-hearted warning over his shoulder — something about not annoying Lady Priscilla if Subaru ever had the misfortune of crossing paths with her again.
The man's figure disappeared into the mansion, leaving behind nothing but that cold, condescending tone echoing in Subaru's mind.
Rem, who had been quietly observing the entire exchange, stepped closer, concern flickering in her gentle eyes. She reached out, her soft hand resting lightly on his shoulder.
"Subaru?" she called out, her voice calm but laced with worry, as if afraid he might break apart the moment she spoke too loud.
But Subaru didn't answer.
He didn't even flinch.
He was just… standing there.
Silent.
Still.
Staring at nothing.
Something felt off — deeply, disturbingly off inside him.
There was this strange sensation clawing up from his chest, something unfamiliar yet terribly familiar at the same time.
His breathing grew uneven, his fingers curled into trembling fists, and his heart thudded hard against his ribs like it wanted out.
This feeling… when was the last time he had felt something like this?
He couldn't remember.
It had been buried so long under all the fear, the despair, the helplessness — yet now it came roaring back to life.
It was anger.
Real, raw, burning anger.
He remembered bowing down, lowering his head, begging those royal camps for help.
He had thrown away his pride, his dignity, his self-worth — all of it — just to protect a handful of innocent villagers who had done nothing wrong.
And what did he get in return?
Rejection.
Mockery.
Cold glares from people who thought saving lives wasn't worth the effort.
And now, standing there with Rem's hand on his shoulder, it all came crashing down at once.
The humiliation.
The exhaustion.
The bitter sting of betrayal.
He felt angry — no, furious.
A wildfire blazing through every vein in his body.
And then that memory echoed again in his head, sharper this time.
"You are nothing but a disgusting pig."
That voice.
That insult.
It cut deeper than any blade ever had.
It wasn't just words — it was a verdict.
A label.
A reminder of how little he mattered in the eyes of this world.
And though he wanted to ignore it, to laugh it off, to pretend he didn't care — he couldn't. Because, deep down, it hit harder than he ever wanted to admit.
When did it happen?
When exactly did he lose it — that feeling of self-worth, that fragile thing called pride?
Subaru couldn't pinpoint the moment.
Was it when he first knelt before those nobles, begging like a desperate fool?
Or maybe it was much earlier — when he started believing that throwing away his dignity was the only way to protect others.
Whatever the case, it was gone now.
Pride, self-respect, confidence — all of it stripped away piece by piece until nothing was left but the hollow shell of someone who once thought he could make a difference.
Now, here he was again — rejected, ignored, and standing in the middle of a world that refused to care.
Once more, he found himself completely alone.
Not just physically, but in every sense of the word.
Surrounded by people who could help but chose not to.
A situation that felt all too familiar.
"Rem…" he finally muttered, his voice low, rough, and tired. "Can I be alone for a moment?"
Rem's eyes softened, though worry lingered there like a quiet shadow.
She hesitated for a long second — the kind of pause that spoke volumes — but in the end, she nodded.
"...All right," she said quietly.
And without another word, she watched as Subaru turned away and began to walk.
He didn't look back.
Subaru just walked.
One step.
Then another.
And another.
He didn't know where he was going — didn't even care, honestly.
His legs moved on their own, driven by a numbness that had settled deep inside him.
The once-bustling streets of the royal capital faded into the background as he wandered aimlessly, his thoughts a tangled mess of frustration, shame, and exhaustion.
Morning bled into noon, and noon slipped into evening.
The golden light of the sun dimmed, shadows grew longer, and the city's noise faded away until the only sound that remained was the crunch of gravel beneath his shoes.
By the time he finally stopped walking, Subaru blinked and realized the world around him had changed.
The cobblestone streets and grand buildings of the capital were long gone.
In their place stood towering trees and rustling leaves, the cool forest air brushing against his face.
He looked around, his expression blank.
He hadn't even noticed when it happened — when his wandering had taken him beyond the capital's walls.
Somehow, without realizing it, he had ended up on its outer perimeter.
Subaru stared at the nearest tree, his mind blank, his breathing ragged.
Then, without a single thought, he drew his fist back and drove it into the trunk with everything he had.
The dull thud of impact echoed through the quiet forest, followed by a sharp sting running up his arm.
"Damn it!" he shouted, voice cracking as the frustration he'd been holding in finally tore free.
Tears welled up in his eyes, spilling down his face uncontrollably — not because of the pain in his hand, though his knuckles were already split open and bleeding, but because of the weight crushing his chest.
It wasn't the physical pain that broke him.
It was everything else.
No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, it never worked.
Every time he reached out to help, to protect someone, to make a difference — he failed.
Every single time.
He failed, and then he lost.
He was always the one left behind.
Always the one abandoned.
Always the one standing alone when everything fell apart.
His fists kept moving, striking the tree again and again.
Each impact sent a jolt of pain up his arms, but he didn't stop.
He couldn't.
The bark tore at his skin, blood smeared across the rough surface, but Subaru only hit harder.
The sound of his ragged breathing filled the silence between every strike.
"Why?!" he screamed, his voice breaking completely as anger and despair twisted into something ugly and raw.
"Why does it always turn out like this?!"
The fury built until it had nowhere left to go, and in a moment of blind rage, he slammed his head against the tree with a sickening thump.
The impact made his vision flash white for a second, and he stumbled backward, dazed and dizzy.
"Arghhhhh!" he roared, more a cry of exhaustion than fury now, before losing his balance entirely and collapsing onto the dirt.
He lay there, panting, chest heaving, his entire body trembling.
His hands were bleeding freely, his forehead throbbing where it had struck the wood, but none of that mattered.
The pain was distant — background noise compared to what was churning inside him.
As he stared up, his blurry eyes caught sight of the orange-streaked sky peeking through the forest canopy.
The sun was sinking, the light fading, painting everything in a dull, dying glow. He could feel warm blood trickling down the side of his face, seeping from the cut on his forehead.
For a long, silent moment, Subaru just lay there on the cold ground, staring at that orange sky — and for the first time in a while, he didn't know what to do next.
"Why? Why? Why?!" Subaru's voice cracked as the words tore from his throat, raw and shaking.
The question wasn't aimed at anyone in particular — it was directed at everything.
At himself, at his situation, at this damned world that refused to give him even the smallest mercy.
His body trembled, his bleeding hands clenched into fists against the dirt.
"Why?!" he shouted again, louder this time, his voice echoing faintly through the quiet forest.
"Why, for you people, are your pride and your benefits worth more than innocent lives?!" His voice was hoarse, almost breaking apart from the sheer force behind his words.
"Why do you all care more about your stupid image, your politics, your useless titles, than the people who are suffering right in front of you?!"
His breathing grew heavy, every inhale sharp and uneven.
"Why… even when I gave my everything… even when I threw away everything I had left — my dignity, my pride, my sanity — why did you all still deny me?"
He bit his lip hard enough to taste blood, his voice lowering into a rough, shaky whisper.
"It was fine… if I didn't get Emilia's love. I didn't need that. It was fine if I had to live like a slave, if I had to crawl in the dirt and pay off every single debt I might owe any of you. I could've accepted all of that…" His voice faltered, his body shaking as tears began to pour freely down his cheeks.
"As long as Emilia… and everyone else could survive. That's all I wanted. That's all I ever wanted."
The tears kept falling, tracing down his dirt-streaked face.
He could barely see now, the world blurring through a haze of exhaustion and hopelessness.
"What do I even do now?" he whispered, his voice cracking.
"What's left for me? I have nothing left but… Rem."
He let out a bitter laugh — broken, hollow, filled with despair.
"But even with her… what can I do? Run away again? Be a coward again? Sacrifice what little pride I already lost just to keep breathing in this miserable world?"
He gritted his teeth, the frustration building until it felt like it might tear him apart from the inside.
"What's even left for me to do here anymore?!" he screamed, pounding his fist into the ground until more blood stained the dirt.
"What's the point of all this suffering if no matter what I do, it always ends the same way?!"
He collapsed forward, shoulders shaking violently as he cried harder.
His words were barely audible now, just fragments between sobs.
"I just… I just wanted to help… I just wanted them to live…"
The thought hit him — dark, cold, and suffocating.
'If dying could end it, if death could free me from this nightmare… maybe that would be better.'
But even that, even death itself, was something he had been denied.
He clenched his teeth as a chill ran down his spine, his eyes wide and filled with despair.
Because he knew.
He knew that no matter how many times he died, he would always come back.
He would always wake up in that same cursed loop, forced to relive the pain, the fear, the loss — over and over again.
All thanks to that twisted, cursed power — Return by Death.
To be continued...