"So, how was it?"
His eyes locked onto hers.
At that moment, Dantalion stood in thin air, just high enough to meet Atsuko's gaze through the mesh window of the pop-up camper.
"H-how was what?" Atsuko blinked, clearly lost.
Dantalion smiled at that. Unbeknownst to Atsuko, he was internally judging her intelligence.
'Talking with Sara is so much easier.'
'I still prefer Barney.'
He was already comparing Atsuko's comprehension to two women who, by any measure, could not be called normal.
'This woman seems to be a marathon ahead in terms of stupi--'
That wouldn't be fair, would it?
Dantalion was being unclear about what he was asking. It was only natural that anyone would struggle to answer a question that seemed nonsensical.
He released a breath. "Forget it. I'll ask again later."
It wasn't actually that complicated as he makes it out to be; he was just implying that he had become a very likable person in her opinion.
If Atsuko had managed to catch on to it early, she would probably have thought, 'You're still on that?'
His form dissipated and reappeared by the chairs and table that stood nearly empty--save for an icebox filled with drinks on the ground.
Dantalion's "body" settled into one of the chairs as he gazed into the distance.
The air was cool, carrying the faint rustle of leaves as a breeze passed through the trees. Crickets sang in the underbrush, filling the silence with their rhythm.
Above, stars glimmered faintly in the indigo sky. It was not the suffocating quiet of loneliness; even the distant grumble of thunder and flash of lightning on the horizon could not disturb the peace.
He still had not received any response from those he expected to visit.
Do they not like his poles?
"This feels so lonely."
Dantalion released the thought on a loud exhale.
Kujou Sara and Atsuko were already in their sleeping quarters. Though not yet asleep, they were on their way there.
He was left alone now while they slept.
"I guess I'll just stare at this tree in particular for the next eight hours."
His body didn't require sleep, especially now that he had seemingly endless energy from the purple book.
The plan to stop using Ei's energy and claim another supply before escalating everything had been scratched, now dormant until something arose again.
Everything wouldn't always go your way--that was the right way to describe what had happened.
But that only applied if it were someone else.
For him, the truer phrasing was different: everything wouldn't always go their way.
Not his.
He built differently.
'I am unique.'
Lumping himself with the populace--what a foolish, almost laughable thing to do.
He knew it even as the thought formed, but still he entertained it, savoring the contradiction. For him, the rules bent differently. Where others were bound by scarcity, he was plagued by excess; where others feared the waning of strength, he suffered the burden of its constancy.
"Everything wouldn't always go their way." Yes, that was the proper phrasing. To pretend otherwise was nothing more than sentimental indulgence, an attempt to clothe himself in a humanity he no longer fully possessed.
But wasn't that precisely the point? To flirt with the illusion of being like them, to believe--even for a fleeting instant--that he too could stumble, falter, and be carried along by fate's indifferent current.
After all, as Kujou Sara had implied, if he continued to be someone so high above and perfect, they wouldn't be able to relate and would instead continue hating him. How could someone so imperfect and broken ever hope to stand beside someone as brilliantly organized and orderly as him?
The irony gnawed at him. To them, he was untouchable--not because of his flaws, but because of the absence of them. Yet if only they knew the truth: the fractures in his being, the contradictions that made up his every thought, the countless masks he wore just to keep himself whole.
Even if he laid his thoughts bare, his intentions stated clearly through pages upon pages of text, he would still be hated because the words would only prove the gap between them.
His honesty would be seen as arrogance, his confessions as manipulation, his vulnerability as yet another mask.
Or just plain stupid, really.
Proven enough through those he had personally conversed with.
Perhaps that was his curse: no matter what role he played--monster, savior, or scribe--he would never be the one they could reach.
Dantalion wondered, briefly, if Kujou Sara would still say the same thing if she could read him like this--not as the flawed man she spoke to, but as the contradiction itself, a being whose very existence made a mockery of "relatable."
Would she still ask him to lower himself?
Or would she see the abyss and finally understand why he never could?
He could pretend, yes. He had always been good at pretending. But to truly surrender, to reshape himself into something palatable, was no different from ceasing to exist.
And if existence itself was the only battlefield left to him, then he would rather remain the monster in their eyes than dissolve into their acceptance--
'FUUUCKKKKKK I HAVE NOTHING TO DO, MAAAAANNNN.'
He was just complaining.
Nothing special.
By tomorrow, he would likely feel an intense wave of embarrassment when he looked back on his thoughts from tonight.
Even so, he was fine with that.
Still, he accepted it. This, too, was as expected.
---
*[Solitude]*
Kujou Sara might not yet understand.
But there would come a time when she would have no choice but to learn the opposite of everything she knew.
If his suspicion were correct, then the result that would emerge from it would closely resemble him.
'Thankfully, shame and embarrassment are foreign concepts to me now.' His hand brushed his hair back. The wind had made it obscure his staring contest with that one particular tree.
'If it were me in the past, I would have died of shame at the pretentious shit I come up with.'
He was bored. That had to somewhat justify it, right?
"Hm… No, I still think it's shameful."
After saying that aloud, he knocked on the door of the car behind him.
'It was too dramatic and cringeworthy for my liking…' Though his thoughts continued.
"Sara, you're still awake, right?"
"…"
There was no reply.
He expected as much.
'It is truly a shame they don't have a TV here.'
Still, he said what he wanted anyway, his eyes never leaving that one particular tree in the distance.
"What would be the next course of action after you found the culprit of the Tatarigami release--"
The car window slid down slightly, and a voice was heard.
"Shut up. Your boredom does not warrant sacrificing our sleep."
Then it slid back up.
"…Okay," Dantalion replied casually.
His eyes remained on that one particular tree in the distance.
How long had he been looking at this tree now? An hour? Perhaps only half an hour.
"Well, don't blame me when the time comes."
It wouldn't make sense for him to blame other people because they lacked the capability to understand him.
That was juvenile.
'Sara might be onto some high-level manipulation, making me contemplate shit within just a day.'
A philosophical text loses weight, turning into irrelevance the moment it becomes trivial.
Though he was using it merely for theatrics, this did not excuse him from such effects.
If by some chance Kujou Sara were to read Dantalion just like how he reads himself, nothing would probably change. Not in the way his irrelevant thoughts suggested.
Still, looking at this one particular tree, for some reason, he felt like that lone-wolf meme.
'If I continue, I might turn gay or something…'
---
The next day.
"Ah! General, you can use hydro?!"
"…I am using the wind to gather the fog."
"Anemo?!"
"…No, just an intrinsic ability of Tengu."
"Primitive monkeys, let me introduce you to the glory of modern technology!"
Dantalion's voice boomed as he inserted himself into the conversation.
"Something even the greatest minds could not produce!"
His theatrical antics fully covered the shame Atsuko felt because of their naked bodies.
Yes, that is correct.
"One of the most desired and sought-after devices all over the globe, that even today remains a concept!"
As there was no water source near their camp, Kujou Sara, after finishing her daily routine, decided to freshen up alongside Atsuko, since Atsuko had no means to produce water to wash her body.
Thus, after asking Dantalion to provide some type of wall for privacy, Sara used her intrinsic ability to control wind, gathering gaseous water vapor in the vicinity into a single place to produce an effect similar to a shower.
"Let this day be marked as the day your hands have been blessed to have the unqualified privilege of using something humanity has yet to attempt--!"
His exaggerated smile and tone, his pretentious choice of words.
"Get to the point, and why are you here?!" Kujou Sara was already charging her legs with Electro.
Why was Dantalion here anyway?
The purpose of the privacy wall she had requested was so that they would have privacy.
Having Dantalion barge in with both Sara and Atsuko naked defeated that very purpose.
Still, that didn't mean she would deny Dantalion's usefulness. Though he was announcing it in a very obnoxious way, it was probably an 'Artifact' made for convenience that fit their current situation.
"Rejoice, MONKEYS!" Dantalion finally got to the point. "A HOSELESS HANDSHOWER!"
'Hehe, a certain blue cat must be proud,' he thought.
Kujou Sara snatched the handshower the instant Dantalion offered it--then, without hesitation, drove a lightning-charged kick into his bare stomach. The crack of thunder echoed with the impact as her momentum sent him hurtling backward, crashing out of the makeshift bath.
Naked, by the way.
'…Is this supposed to be normal?' Atsuko lamented inwardly, one hand covering her chest, the other guarding what remained of her modesty.
And yet, despite the gesture, her back was rigidly straight--not the slightest hunch or curl to make herself smaller.
"Rest assured, he is harmless," Kujou Sara said, as if that alone should have ended the discussion. "Though his manner is arrogant, he has been explicit about his intentions. He claims interest only in one such as the Raiden Shogun--a sentiment he expressed in rather crude terms."
'As he phrased it--If it ain't purple, I don't want it--' Kujou Sara kept that part to herself.
Of course, that did nothing to resolve the question of privacy. But what could they do? Dantalion lived inside her body. The figure they spoke to now was nothing more than an illusion.
So Sara chose a different reassurance: that Dantalion likely had no interest in them. He only ever pursued women he deemed 'deserving.' And that was the truth of it--he thought nearly everyone beneath him.
"Unless..." Kujou Sara looked at Atsuko with a sharp look, "You believe yourself superior to the Raiden Shogun."
"Uhm… I see." Atsuko ignored the remark and instead turned her gaze to the device the General now held.
"General, what does that do?" She decided to ask directly.
"From what he exaggeratedly announced, it's a handshower." Her voice stayed calm as she examined the device. The entire piece was forged from solid silver, polished so smoothly it almost reflected her face back at her.
Hearing the General's answer, Atsuko had an urge to say: No shit.
The handle wasn't plain either--three buttons lined its grip. Or to be specific, two buttons, though one of them was cleverly split in two. The split buttons were colored red and blue, while the normal button beneath them was light gray.
Suddenly, as if eager to answer her unspoken curiosity, Dantalion's voice intruded.
"The colored buttons--"
Without hesitation, Kujou Sara expelled him again--one swift kick, just like earlier.
Naked, by the way.
"We know. They're for hot and cold." Her tone was flat, as if pointing out that water was wet. Pure, unadorned common sense.
"And stop coming over, you attention-seeking loser!" she snapped, the calm veneer finally cracking.
Yet--
"…" Dantalion slipped back into view. His mouth sagged into an absurdly deep frown, eyes drooping pitifully, his face a grotesque parody of sorrow itself.
"I said stop coming over!" This time her kick landed harder, the impact booming through the space.
"Okay, okay--if you insist so much." Dantalion threw his hands up in surrender, his voice dripping with mock compliance.
"It is common sense not to barge in on someone bathing unless invited," Sara shot back, each syllable heavy with exasperation. "Anyway, get out."
After that, the sound of the hoseless handshower, water hitting the ground.
Dantalion didn't have the chance to tell them that the hoseless handshower could be suspended in the air--well, not really an important feature.
---
Some place, somewhere.
A man was running.
He did not look back.
Sleep-deprived as he was, he knew only one thing: he had to get out of here, and fast.
'That man--!'
As for why he was exhausted, and why he fled in such haste…
That would have to wait for another time.
---
'Guess I should have waited… for like a year, maybe.'
Perhaps.
Dantalion was thinking back about his cringe monologue the night before.
'Truly, a child.'
It seemed that the more he referenced his past, the more likely his current self would be affected by his past view of the world.
Even though he possessed [Perfect Memory] and the extra skill [Solitude], with both combined essentially making him a being of thought, and while he might be immune to external influence--especially those regarding his memories, soul, and identity--he was not immune to influence he himself had a hand in.
As a being of thought, he could decide in what direction his thoughts would go, whether it be in a direction where his knowledge grows or by tapping into his past train of thought.
However, if actively thinking of the past made his current self adapt thoughts he had already outgrown…
'It would probably just be better to have those thoughts remain merely as memories…'
He had been trying for others to understand him.
Though this intention had already been abandoned in his previous life, he thought that coming to a world unlike his previous one, a world containing beings beyond what his previous life could cater to--maybe then this would…
A world full of beings better than him…
The purest form of love someone can give to another person is understanding.
Literally and metaphorically.
Understanding everything about the person: their past, capabilities, train of thought, intentions, and motivations.
It's the sincerest form of love.
But the world does not function like that.
The only one capable of practicing that form of love is you to yourself.
No one will know you better than you know yourself.
Not even your parents, who watched you grow from birth.
Not even your siblings who grew up alongside you.
And especially not even someone with whom you shared your past.
It was all just you and yourself.
Kujou Sara might have thought along the lines of: 'Based on what she knew of him.'
But she would never truly understand it the way Dantalion does.
'I will just let it be…' He decided to leave it as is.
'Truly, a child I was.'
Then, he opened his mouth to say:
"We'll go after both your hair dries--Oh… we will go now then."
His question was cut short as he saw them already getting into the car.
Dried and all.
Dantalion sighed, his face wearing a small smile.
Essentially, how he felt after coming to this world was the same as what he felt when he found out that espers existed in his world.
It was a juvenile thought.
But he was human then, and that had some hand in what shaped him up to now.
He had already outgrown such beliefs…
But was it wrong to hope that after he was stripped of everything he had worked for, this would be a new beginning with a different outcome?
He did not choose to be dragged into this world.
He was living a great life--according to his view--in his original world.
Just like the discovery of espers in his world was accidental, this too was.
'It is too bad that the tree lost its allure.'
---
*The night before.*
The tree and Dantalion were in an intense staring contest.
No, if anything, by Dantalion's expression, it would seem that the tree was seducing him!
His smile was that of peaceful bliss; leisure and pleasure were in his whole demeanor.
"It's normal to not be able to sleep in an unfamiliar environment."
"…"
There was a subtle shake on one of the branches of the tree upon Dantalion saying that.
It was not the wind, nor a bird.
'Just the tree… Definitely.'
His face gained a serene feeling to it as he continued looking at that particular tree.
Alas.
As he was rambling randomly out of nowhere, and the only intelligent life he could converse with was the two women in the car, thus, with all that considered--
Kujou Sara assumed he was addressing them.
It might also be Atsuko. Sara could not check whether Atsuko was still awake.
But for now, she would assume he was addressing her. She was the only one yet to fall asleep due to her considerations.
Though this time, she did not bother opening the window.
She just spoke in her normal speaking volume, as if Dantalion were right next to her.
"…Can you refrain from… spouting common knowledge… as if it were some divine truth?" She continued, her voice slow, seemingly just talking in a half-sleep state.
"We want to…"
And he technically was right next to her.
He was inside her, after all.
Then, with her words unfinished, she fell asleep.
Nonetheless, Dantalion still mouthed his reply.
"Can you stop being a bitch." Of course, he still said it with his serene expression. "What is wrong with you today?"
Honestly, Dantalion refused to entertain the idea that Kujou Sara was actually on her period. [1]
Even though there were times he had joked about such things, it did not change the fact that he found it disgusting.
No matter how beautiful a woman was, his disgust for filth would not diminish.
They themselves probably thought so too, and those who disagreed with that were just in denial.
This conclusion came from his experience through friends, family, and the few relationships he had been in.
To Dantalion, if it was not safe to be eaten or drunk, then it was probably dirty and should be avoided, with skin contact as much as possible.
Just like when someone sneezes and expels a one-pound glob of mucus along with it.
Pretty disgusting, wasn't it?
Though it was a different matter if it came from himself.
Whether it be mucus, spit--
'And thinking of periods would probably sour my mood,' he thought, 'as my mind would probably not be able to avoid including the texture, odor--'
'Fuuuckkk…'
Thankfully, the tree was there to seduce him.
To attract his attention only to its body.
'Sara is such an infuriating neighbor… Not very likable at all.'
And just like how he had given up after observing the espers of his world for some time, this too would be the last.
After all, the only way one can be truly at peace is if one has ceased seeking understanding from others other than themselves.
True understanding between people is truly unattainable.
'I'm still probably, most likely, definitely, very likable.'
Does that contradict what he has been saying?
Perhaps, but who's to say, really.
*--Chapter End--*
Advanced chapters: patreon.com/Bitum
Welp, see you again next, next week.
Again, thank you to the 2 additional members!
[1] She is not.