Chapter 341: A Few Stories About the New Vending Machine
That night, before the strategy meeting began—
Sendo was squatting beside the vending machine, quietly looking up at the stars.
"Right hand and left hand… then press the buttons underneath at the same time…"
Sawamura walked over muttering to himself, head lowered in deep "research mode."
A short distance behind him, Kominato Haruichi was also approaching.
"Eijun-kun! What are you doing in front of the vending machine? And Sendo-kun too?"
"Me? I'm stargazing," Sendo answered casually.
"Oh! Haruichi! If you press two buttons on the vending machine at the same time, you'll win a prize—that's what Cheetah-senpai said! By the way, Sendo? When did you get here?" Sawamura replied enthusiastically, only then realizing someone had been next to him the whole time.
"I've been here the whole time…You were just mumbling to yourself and didn't notice me. Don't mind me. Just pretend I don't exist," Sendo said, utterly speechless—but deeply interested in Kuramochi's "education" of Sawamura.
"There's no way you'd win anything!" Haruichi sighed.
"Then… maybe two drinks will come out? That's basically the same as winning!" Sawamura insisted, genuinely excited.
"If the machine malfunctions, you might not get anything at all. It could even swallow your money," Haruichi reasoned, hoping to correct Sawamura's dangerously unreliable logic.
"Seriously?!!!" Sawamura's face turned pale.
"But if we don't try, we won't know!" Haruichi admitted—his theory was still just speculation.
"Sendo-kun! What do you think?"
"That's possible. Or the machine could break. After all, no idiot would test something like that."
"Wha—so what actually happens?!" Sawamura's tiny eyes darted back and forth between them.
"Eijun-kun."
"Hm?"
"If you're not buying anything, can I go first?" Haruichi asked gently.
He had been standing behind Sawamura, after all.
"Why?" Sawamura wasn't being unreasonable—he just hadn't processed the situation yet.
"What do you mean why? I want juice too."
"Sigh. Fine! I shall graciously fulfill Kominato Haruichi's wish!" Sawamura declared dramatically.
"Why are you using my full name?"
"I just felt like it! Hey, Sendo! You called me an idiot earlier, didn't you? You did, right?! Idiot!!!" (He was confirming, not insulting back.)
"Forget it…"
At that moment, Haruichi started putting money into the machine, and Sawamura instantly forgot about arguing with Sendo.
"Wait—Eijun-kun, why is your hand on another button?" Haruichi noticed Sawamura's second hand hovering suspiciously over another selection.
Sawamura looked extremely eager.
"It's fine! It's fine!" Sawamura tried to brush it off.
Sendo had already started snickering.
"What do you mean 'fine'? And you're on the tomato juice button. I don't even drink tomato juice!"
"Is that so?"
"Yes. I want apple juice. Move your hand."
"They're both red fruits though…" Sawamura muttered.
Haruichi and Sendo both failed to understand his brain wiring.
"Tomatoes are vegetables! Move!"
"Okay, okay!"
"Honestly…Hey! Why are you sneaking your hand back over again?!" Haruichi caught him mid-ambush.
"Huh?" Sawamura even looked surprised he'd been discovered.
"'Huh' what? You were absolutely going to press tomato juice, weren't you?" Even Haruichi's patience was thinning.
"Hahaha! Let's see what happens!" Sawamura laughed brightly.
"Pfft! Eijun! Don't try to gloss it over with such a lame trick!" Sendo couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Yeah! Don't use Miyuki-senpai's laugh to dodge the issue! And it doesn't even sound like him," Haruichi added.
"You were imitating that scheming glasses guy? Seriously? Haruichi, I'm impressed you caught that!" Sendo said in shock, still secretly hoping Haruichi was mistaken and Sawamura wasn't that foolish.
He took a sip of cola.
"Cough—! I was pretty confident in it, you know!" Sawamura protested.
"Pfft—!"
Sendo sprayed cola everywhere.
"Hahahahaha—my stomach hurts!"
"You bastard, Sendo! I haven't even settled the 'idiot' thing yet! If I wasn't busy conducting experiments—" Sawamura clamped his mouth shut.
He thought it was a secret.
It wasn't.
"I knew it! Honestly, why is buying juice this exhausting? There's a game tomorrow! And we have a meeting soon!" Haruichi sighed.
"Look! You press apple juice, I press tomato juice, and we'll see what happens!" Sawamura suggested in a tone befitting a scientist.
"That makes no sense! Why are you pressing buttons when I'm the one buying it?!"
"Haruichi! This is a battle! A serious battle between us! Will you run from it?!"
Even Sendo had no idea what kind of battle this was.
"Eijun-kun… this was never a competition," Haruichi attempted rescue.
"…So it's really impossible?" Sawamura asked, looking constipated.
"Fine. You go first. I'll press it with you," Haruichi surrendered—but if there was going to be an experiment, Sawamura was paying.
"Yosh! Let's do it!"
"Eijun-kun, what are you buying?"
"Iced tea or hot tea."
"Pfft—cough cough!"
Sendo was thoroughly enjoying this free entertainment.
"Isn't that the same thing?" Haruichi deadpanned.
"My house only has tea and barley tea. That's just how it is," Sawamura said seriously.
"That's true, I can confirm," Sendo added, clutching his stomach from laughter.
"I see… Eijun-kun, don't you have siblings?"
"He's an only child," Sendo answered.
"Yup! Grandpa, Dad, Mom, and me! Four-person household!"
"Huh? My family is Dad, Mom, my older brother, and me. Also four people! What's it like living with your grandpa?"
"So Haruichi wants to join my family?"
…Forgive Sendo.
For one brief moment, his brain wandered.
He imagined Sawamura and Haruichi getting married.
Amen.
"I'll pass," Haruichi replied calmly.
"I don't have siblings, so I've always wondered what it's like living with one."
"Haruichi!"
"Living with your grandpa… you probably shouldn't ask this guy about that. Sawamura's grandpa is kind of… unconventional," Sendl cut in with a complicated expression, clearly recalling something.
"I see! Sendo-kun, you live with your grandpa too, right? What's it like?"
"Well… honestly, it's not that different from living with your parents. Maybe grandparents spoil you a bit more than parents do. Most of my requests don't get rejected."
"That sounds nice…When I wanted to come to Seidou, I had to argue quite a bit," Haruichi said with a sigh.
"If it were my grandpa, he'd definitely say, 'Go! Grandpa will always support you!'" Sendo said, imitating an elderly voice.
"That's wonderful…" Haruichi said wistfully.
"Wonderful my foot! Sendo! Didn't you say to pretend you don't exist? How can someone who doesn't exist talk? Huh… that sounds weird. Ah whatever! Haruichi! What's it like having an older brother?" Sawamura finally wrestled the conversation back from Sendo.
"My older brother is right over there. Why don't you go ask him? You could say something like, 'Please become my big brother!'"
Sendo felt like Haruichi was slowly evolving into Onii-san 2.0.
Just imagining that scenario was terrifying.
"Eh? But… I'm a little intimidated by that Onii-san…" Even fearless Sawamura hesitated.
"Oh? What about me?"
Onii-san appeared behind them without a sound.
All three jumped.
"Waaah! He materialized without a presence!" Sawamura yelled.
"Don't describe me like a ghost."
Thwack! A clean hand chop landed on Sawamura's head.
"Guh!"
"So, Haruichi, what were you talking about?"
"Um… we went from 'not drinking tomato juice' to 'family' and then to 'what if you were Eijun-kun's big brother.'"
"Me? His big brother? Impossible."
Onii-san's face showed confusion… mixed with mild dread. As if imagining that scenario would be troublesome.
"It was hypothetical," Haruichi corrected.
He just doesn't want to be this idiot's big brother, Sendo thought.
"Haruichi, what do you think? If I wasn't your big brother…If we weren't brothers… how would that be?"
Onii-san's expression shifted subtly—dangerously. Only Sendo, master of microexpressions, noticed.
Sendo immediately reduced his presence to zero.
This was hazardous territory.
Haruichi and Sawamura sensed nothing.
"That… I've never thought about that," Haruichi answered honestly.
"Since I came to Seidou, haven't you had the bed and room to yourself?"
"Well, yes, but…"
"But?" Onii-san's tension eased slightly.
"It's too spacious. I don't like it."
"…?"
"You'll always be my big brother. We've always been brothers. And we always will be."
Haruichi's emotional sincerity completely disarmed Onii-san.
Sendo mentally crossed himself.
Terrifying.
"Hmm… I guess it doesn't matter to me," Onii-san said casually, now in teasing mode.
This is dangerous dog food. Stay silent or die, Sendo thought.
Sawamura watched, fascinated.
"Eh???" Haruichi took the bait.
"So, what do you want to drink?" Onii-san asked.
"Apple juice."
Onii-san paid.
The vending machine whirred.
He won.
"…I won," Onii-san said flatly.
"WHAAAAT?!" Sawamura screamed.
"Oh, Eijun-kun has respawned," Haruichi commented dryly.
"That was supposed to be my win!" Sawamura protested.
"I've won three times already," Onii-san said calmly.
"How is that possible?! Please! Allow me to call you Onii-san!" Sawamura suddenly turned sycophantic.
"You already are."
"Then… Lucky-nii-san!"
Thwack!
Another hand chop.
"Guh!"
"That one doesn't count."
"Eijun-kun… are you alive?"
"Heh… hahaha! I, Sawamura Eijun, shall rise no matter how many times I fall! An immortal being!!!" he declared dramatically.
I've never heard someone request violence like that, Sendo thought.
"Urusai!"
Thwack!
Onii-san obliged.
"Ah!"
"Haruichi, you take the extra drink. I don't need two."
"Are you sure?"
"Don't be polite. I'll choose for you."
Sendo immediately knew.
The brother complex was about to weaponize.
"Here you go."
Haruichi took the drink.
"…Thanks. Wait—this is tomato juice."
Of course it was.
He had clearly said he didn't drink tomato juice.
"Being picky isn't good," Onii-san said cheerfully and walked away.
"Honestly…" Haruichi sighed.
Sawamura staggered back to his feet.
"You okay, Eijun-kun?"
"Haha! Haruichi! That's karma!" Sendo, now that Onii-san was gone, fully revived.
"I'm… mostly fine. By the way, Haruichi."
"Hm?"
"I… what did I even come here for?"
"Huh?"
Sendo couldn't hold it in anymore.
Three chops and temporary amnesia.
He glanced at the cola he had sprayed earlier… then silently bought two more bottles and left.
------------------
If you want to read 20 chapters advanced.
Visit my patreon: patreon.com/Shu_21