Leaving pack life behind for almost two and a half years made me miss home more and more every day.
I missed the mountains.
I missed my parents.
I even missed hearing the warriors training at sunrise.
College life in the South had been everything I dreamed of. My classes were difficult, my medical program was intense, and for the first time in my life, I was building something for myself outside of pack expectations.
But no matter how busy I stayed, homesickness always found its way back to me.
Especially whenever Melissa returned from home after every break.
Melissa happened to be from my hometown pack, though she was a year older than me. Her family handled a lot of business dealings between packs, so she traveled back home constantly.
Unlike me.
I hadn't stepped foot back home once during the entire mate trial.
At first, it was because I wanted to prove a point.
Then it became harder and harder to return.
Because I knew the second I saw Johnthan again, the mate bond would hit us both like a truck.
And honestly?
I wasn't sure I was ready for that yet.
Melissa tossed her duffel bag onto her bed as soon as she walked into our dorm room.
"Home was insane this break," she groaned dramatically.
I looked up from my medical notes with a small smile.
"Welcome back to civilization."
She snorted. "Barely."
I tried to sound casual as I closed my textbook.
"So..." I started carefully, "how is everything back home?"
Melissa immediately gave me a knowing look.
I pointed a pen at her. "And don't start."
"What?" she asked innocently.
"You know exactly what."
She laughed while unpacking her bags. "Fine. I won't mention your overly possessive Alpha mate."
I rolled my eyes instantly.
"Toxic mate," I corrected.
"Mmhm."
"I'm serious."
"And yet you still wear his mark covered under makeup whenever you go to class."
I froze.
Melissa smirked triumphantly.
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
I sighed and leaned back in my chair.
"Just tell me how everyone is doing."
Her expression softened a little.
"Your parents miss you a lot," she admitted. "Your dad tries not to show it, but everyone notices. Your mom still keeps your room exactly the same."
Guilt twisted in my chest.
"And Jason?"
Melissa grinned immediately. "Still dramatic. Still attached to Jasmin like they're glued together."
I laughed softly.
"Thomas became even more annoying somehow," she continued.
"Impossible."
"Oh, it's very possible."
For a moment, hearing about home made the distance feel smaller.
Then Melissa got quiet.
Too quiet.
I narrowed my eyes instantly.
"What?"
She hesitated.
"Siera..."
"No."
"You didn't even let me finish."
"I already know where this is going."
Melissa sat down on the edge of her bed.
"Johnthan's getting worse."
My stomach tightened despite myself.
"Worse how?"
"He barely sleeps," she admitted carefully. "He's constantly training or handling Alpha duties. And anytime another she-wolf even tries speaking to him, he shuts it down immediately."
I looked away quickly.
Melissa studied me for a moment before continuing.
"He hasn't touched anyone since you left."
I swallowed hard.
"He wears your mark openly now."
The mate bond pulsed painfully in my chest.
"And honestly?" Melissa said quietly. "I think your absence is driving him crazy."
I forced out a laugh.
"Good."
But even I could hear the weakness in my voice.
Because no matter how far away I ran...
Part of me still missed him too.
"If he really misses me, he could call," I muttered, pacing across the dorm room. "Turning himself into some emotionless werewolf robot isn't healthy."
Melissa watched me carefully from her bed.
"He knows visitors are allowed here," I continued. "Why doesn't he just come see me?"
The second the words left my mouth, I realized how frustrated—and hurt—I actually sounded.
Because the truth was...
I wasn't doing any better than he was.
The last two years without seeing Johnthan had been torture.
No matter how hard I focused on school, the mate bond was always there in the background. Constant. Pulling. Aching.
Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night because I swore I could feel his emotions through the bond.
Stress.
Anger.
Exhaustion.
Loneliness.
And somehow that made everything worse.
I dropped onto my bed dramatically and stared at the ceiling.
"I've kept my GPA above average, joined Delta's Maid Management program, and balanced classes with work," I groaned. "I think I've earned at least a two-week break to visit home... right?"
Melissa opened her mouth to answer, but before she could speak, the dorm door swung open.
Mia walked in carrying several shopping bags before immediately stopping mid-step.
"Oh," she said slowly. "Emotional crisis hour?"
"Unfortunately," Melissa answered.
Mia dropped her bags onto her desk and crossed her arms.
"Honest opinion?" she said bluntly. "If I had a mate waiting for me back home, I would've folded after the first six months."
Melissa burst out laughing.
"I'm serious," Mia continued. "Especially if the bond is affecting both of you this badly."
I sat up slightly.
"It's not affecting me that bad."
Both of them stared at me.
I frowned.
"Okay, maybe a little."
Melissa snorted loudly.
Mia shook her head. "Siera, mate distance depression is a real thing. If neither of you are handling the separation properly, it can slowly damage both mates emotionally."
I looked away.
"I know..."
Her expression softened.
"Then go home for a little while."
The thought alone made my chest tighten.
Home.
The mountains.
My family.
Johnthan.
I hadn't realized how badly I missed him until now.
Not the annoying Alpha Junior version of him.
Not the cocky guy always trying to compete with me.
Just... him.
The one who stayed loyal for over two years.
The one who still wore my mark openly.
The one who apparently hadn't touched another female since I left.
I exhaled slowly.
"What if seeing him makes everything harder?"
Melissa gave me a small smile.
"Siera... I think not seeing him is already doing that."
"I have to take that chance," I said quietly, more to myself than to them. "I miss him too much."
The words finally felt real once I admitted them out loud.
For two and a half years, I had convinced myself the distance was necessary. That staying away would somehow make the bond easier to control.
Instead, it only made the ache worse.
And deep down, I could feel Johnthan hurting through the bond just as much as I was.
"Plus, it's been over two years," I continued, grabbing my jacket from the chair beside my desk. "I need to see him. I need to see my family."
Melissa smiled softly.
"There she is."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't make this emotional."
"Too late," Mia answered dramatically.
I laughed quietly for the first time all day before heading toward the door.
"I'm going to the advisor's office to see if I can get approved for a two-week leave from academics," I explained. "And I already checked my work hours—I have enough saved up to take time off."
Melissa sat up straighter instantly.
"So you're really doing this?"
I nodded.
No hesitation this time.
No fear.
No running.
"Yeah," I admitted softly. "I'm going home."
The mate bond pulsed warmly in my chest the second I said it out loud.
Almost like somewhere far away...
Johnthan felt it too.
Mia smirked knowingly. "Watch. The second you step back into pack territory, that man is going to lose his entire mind."
"Honestly?" Melissa added. "I'm more worried about you losing your mind."
I pointed a finger at both of them.
"Neither one of you are helping."
They laughed while I stepped out into the hallway.
As I walked toward the advisor's building across campus, my heartbeat slowly picked up with every step.
Because after two and a half years apart...
I was finally going home to face my mate again.
"I have to take that chance," I said quietly, more to myself than to them. "I miss him too much."
The words finally felt real once I admitted them out loud.
For two and a half years, I had convinced myself the distance was necessary. That staying away would somehow make the bond easier to control.
Instead, it only made the ache worse.
And deep down, I could feel Johnthan hurting through the bond just as much as I was.
"Plus, it's been over two years," I continued, grabbing my jacket from the chair beside my desk. "I need to see him. I need to see my family."
Melissa smiled softly.
"There she is."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't make this emotional."
"Too late," Mia answered dramatically.
I laughed quietly for the first time all day before heading toward the door.
"I'm going to the advisor's office to see if I can get approved for a two-week leave from academics," I explained. "And I already checked my work hours—I have enough saved up to take time off."
Melissa sat up straighter instantly.
"So you're really doing this?"
I nodded.
No hesitation this time.
No fear.
No running.
"Yeah," I admitted softly. "I'm going home."
The mate bond pulsed warmly in my chest the second I said it out loud.
Almost like somewhere far away...
Johnthan felt it too.
Mia smirked knowingly. "Watch. The second you step back into pack territory, that man is going to lose his entire mind."
"Honestly?" Melissa added. "I'm more worried about you losing your mind."
I pointed a finger at both of them.
"Neither one of you are helping."
They laughed while I stepped out into the hallway.
As I walked toward the advisor's building across campus, my heartbeat slowly picked up with every step.
Because after two and a half years apart...
I was finally going home to face my mate again.
My advisor surprisingly thought taking time off was a good idea.
Actually, she looked more concerned than surprised once I admitted I hadn't gone home once during the entire two and a half years I'd been away for my PhD program.
"Siera," she said slowly while adjusting her glasses, "you've maintained one of the highest GPAs in the department while balancing work and advanced coursework."
I gave her a small shrug.
"You also haven't taken a real break since arriving here."
Okay... maybe she had a point.
When I explained that I wanted to visit home for a little while, she immediately approved it.
Honestly, I expected a fight.
Instead, she leaned back in her chair and smiled.
"I think it's healthy for you to step away for a bit," she admitted. "Burnout is real, especially in medical programs."
Then she surprised me even more.
"I'm approving three weeks."
I blinked.
"Three?"
She nodded firmly.
"Three full weeks, Siera."
I laughed nervously. "Oh no, I'll definitely be back before then."
Her eyebrow lifted slightly.
"And why is that?"
I groaned dramatically.
"Because dealing with my brothers and sisters for longer than two weeks might send me into early retirement."
She burst out laughing.
"Ah. Family chaos."
"You have no idea."
If Jason and Jasmin were still attached at the hip, Thomas was probably still causing problems somewhere, and my parents were definitely going to smother me the second I walked through the door.
And then there was Johnthan.
Just thinking about seeing him again after all this time made my stomach flip nervously.
My advisor noticed the sudden change in my expression immediately.
"Someone important waiting back home?" she asked knowingly.
I tried to keep my face neutral.
"Unfortunately."
That only made her laugh harder.
"Well," she said while signing the approval papers, "whoever they are, I hope this trip gives you peace of mind."
I accepted the paperwork with a grateful smile.
"Thank you, Professor."
As I walked out of her office, approval papers in hand, reality finally hit me.
I was really going home.
And for the first time in two and a half years...
I was about to see my mate again.