"What is destiny? Is destiny always absolute? If a person is destined to die tomorrow, can that person avoid death? Do humans just follow the flow of destiny, or can we break it?"
These were the questions that always plagued my mind regarding the book—the very book in which I had read my own fate. I had become this person, the 'villain.' It seemed I had an obligation to follow the rules of this world, yet if my fate was my own death, surely I would avoid it, no matter if God told me to follow it.
Believers held that there were two types of fate.
The first was the fate that humans could not change. No matter how much a human wanted to alter this path, they would face it eventually. This included the fate of death and the fate of a soulmate. God had already decided these things—where, when, and how you would die, or who your soulmate would be—long before you were born.
The second type was the fate you could change. There were many variations of this. Whether you passed an exam depended on you; God might provide the opportunity, but the will to study was your own. You wanted to be healthy, wealthy, or famous? That was a fate you could change through your own actions.
However, there was a paradox even within the unchangeable fate: you still needed to try. For example, if you wanted to meet your fated partner but made no effort to find them—simply sitting alone and waiting—God would not unite you with them. If you did not want to die young, you still needed to stay healthy, eat well, and avoid doing foolish things.
It was a confusing contradiction. If God already knew my fate, why did I need to strive to achieve it? If, in the end, God had known the outcome from the very beginning.
So, was the story in this book like God's absolute fate? The characters inside could not change it, but if someone was aware of the plot, could they alter the story? Even if it meant going against the Gods or Goddesses of this world, I refused to die in the flow of the narrative or do what the book told me to do.
One evening, I opened my eyes to a ceiling I did not recognize.
Strands of hair fell in front of my face—long hair. I didn't remember having long hair. Half-asleep, I tried to sit up, but the hair kept getting in my way. I looked around, confused. I didn't recognize this room at all.
It was opulent. There was a large mirror, a grand dressing table, a massive wardrobe, and a wide window with a spacious balcony beside the bed. Everything seemed incredibly fancy; even the bed itself felt royal.
The door to the room creaked open. A maid entered, carrying a basin of water and a towel. Our eyes met, and suddenly, she froze. In her shock, she dropped the basin.
Clang!
I raised my hand to call out to her, but she turned and immediately fled the room.
I lay back against the pillows, trying to examine what the hell was going on. Did I have this type of room before? Did I have white hair before?
I stood up to check my appearance. I walked to the large mirror beside the window. In the reflection, I saw someone wearing thin cloth pyjamas. Was this my body? The frame was smaller, looking perhaps fourteen years old. Disbelieving what I saw, I kept touching my face, my body, and the long white hair.
The sound of the door opening made me spin around.
A group of people rushed into the room. There was the maid from before, accompanied by a lady with long white hair, a man with short white hair, and two small children—a boy and a girl—peeking from behind them. Their faces were filled with worry.
"Is that really my Aurelia?" the lady spoke, her voice trembling.
The lady and the man immediately approached and pulled me into a tight embrace. I wanted to return the hug, but I didn't know what was going on. It felt awkward. The lady pulled back slightly to show me her face, and I saw tears welling in her eyes.
"Aurelia… You are awake… How is your body? Are you hurting anywhere?" she asked desperately.
"Oh dear… How about you calm down for a second? It seems Aurelia can't handle a lot of thoughts right now. Look at her face; she is still in shock and pale," the man said, trying to soothe her.
They released me from the hug.
"I know... my dear. But to see Aurelia awake and standing makes me so happy… I can't hold my feelings back."
They stepped away, but I felt a tugging at my leg. It was the little boy and girl, hugging my knees. When I looked at them carefully, I realized they were twins with different eye colors. The girl had red eyes like the lady and long white hair, while the boy had blue eyes like the man and short white hair. The girl clutched a doll in her arms. They were incredibly cute.
"Aurelia, you need to rest in bed. And you two, let her leg go," the man ordered gently.
The little ones released me, and the lady guided me back to the bed while the others followed. I lay down, and she tucked the blanket over me.
"How is your body?" the lady asked again.
"Au..re..li..a," I stammered, trying to form the words.
"What is it?"
"You called me Aurelia. Is that my name?"
The room went silent. I saw the shock on everyone's faces.
The man suddenly turned and shouted, "WHERE IS THE PHYSICIAN THAT I ORDERED EARLIER?"
"She is on the way here, Your Grace," the maid answered quickly, trembling.
"HOW LONG? GO PICK HER UP YOURSELF!"
The maid ran straight out of the room. The lady looked paralyzed with disbelief. The atmosphere grew tense; the lady kept holding my right hand, while the man paced back and forth. The twins stood close to the lady, looking uneasy. The room was filled with a heavy silence, broken only by the man's pacing.
After several minutes, the maid returned with a red-haired woman.
"The physician has come, Your Grace," the maid announced.
"Great. Quickly, check my daughter."
The words my daughter surprised me. The twins stepped back to let the woman sit on the edge of the bed, though the lady refused to let go of my hand. The physician touched my wrist, checking my pulse with her eyes closed. After a moment, she placed a hand on my forehead, then on her own, comparing our temperatures.
The physician turned to the parents. "I believe there is nothing wrong with her physical condition."
"Are you one hundred percent sure about that?" the man demanded.
"I am sure, Your Grace."
"But she asked about her name. It felt like she didn't know who she was," the lady replied, her voice breaking.
The physician looked at me intensely. "Do you know your own name?" she asked.
"They called me Aurelia… I think that's my name…"
"Before they called you Aurelia, did you know your name?"
"I don't know."
"Can you remember anything about the past?"
"What past?"
"Hmm…" She gestured behind her. "How about these two children? Do you recognize them?"
I looked carefully at their faces. "I have no idea."
The lady and the man looked devastated.
"Do you not know them at all?"
"I'm sorry, I really have no idea."
"How about the lady holding your hand right now? Do you recognize her?"
I turned my face to the woman beside me. "I don't know her."
The lady's expression crumbled into pure anxiety.
"How about your dreams? Do you remember any dreams from when you were asleep?"
"I can't remember anything."
The physician stood up and motioned for the parents to follow her. She whispered something to them, and they stepped out of the room to talk.
With the adults gone, only the two little ones remained in the room. They looked as if they were about to cry. They approached the bed and grabbed my right arm.
The boy spoke first. "Sister Aurelia, do you really not know us?"
I couldn't answer his question.
The girl spoke next, stuttering through tears. "Sis..ter… Aure..lia.. Are..you..real..ly…sis..ter... Aurelia..?"
Still, I could not answer.
The girl held up her doll with both hands. "Look… You..mus..t..k..now..who..she..is?"
I remained quiet. The girl seemed unable to hold her emotions back any longer and burst into tears. The boy tried to calm her down, but he failed, and soon he started crying too.
I sat up in bed, instinctively wanting to comfort them. I placed my hands on their heads and began to pat them gently, offering them a small smile.
The man and the lady returned with the physician. Seeing the scene, the lady immediately went to the twins to soothe them, the man right beside her. The physician stood at the foot of my bed.
"I think it is better to let everyone know the truth about My Lady's condition," the physician began.
She made her formal statement. "My Lady has suffered memory loss. The extent of the lost memory is currently unknown, but seeing that My Lady did not recognize Madam—her own birth mother—it suggests a significant loss. However, there is hope. usually, when people lose their memory to this degree, they may regress to acting like a baby or a child. My Lady does not act like a child; she understands language and logic. It would be best if My Lady started to learn everything again from the beginning. I hope that in the process of learning, her memory returns."
"That is a relief, at least," the lady said, wiping her eyes. "I think it is best if we start by introducing ourselves."
She looked at me with a sad smile. "Let me introduce myself. My name is Cordelia Aurelius. I am your birth mother, and you are Aurelia Aurelius." She patted the twins. "Do you want to introduce yourselves, or shall I do it for you?"
"No... I wa..nt to Intro..duce..my..self..." the boy stuttered between sobs. "My..name..is... sniff... Aurelio Aurelius."
"I..am..." the girl sobbed. "Ophe..lia… Aur..elius…"
The lady patted their heads lovingly. She turned her face to the man. "Dear... I think you should introduce yourself, too."
"Right.. right…" He cleared his throat. "I am Marcus Aurelius. I am your father."
"As you now know, we are the Aurelius family," Cordelia said softly. "And the one who checked you is our family physician. Her name is Sofia."
Sofia bowed respectfully to me.
"I think you should rest now after hearing all of this," Marcus said. "You two, let your sister rest."
Slowly, all of them left the room, leaving me alone with my new reality.