Chapter 48 Seeing the World.
When Eri used to wake up, her room was always bathed in artificial lights, none that provided warmth or comfort. And through the short time she had been out of that place, Eri learned that she liked the feeling of the morning sun peering through her window. And that she could wake up full of energy and alertness without feeling completely fatigued, and like she had to look over shoulder for the doors to open.
She sprang from her futon with more step than usual, remembering where Sakura had put all of her clothes. She didn't know that children were allowed to wear more than one little white dress, or that there were so many colors and options to choose from. Not when everyone around her wore black and gray suits. But that had been her entire life before, colorless. It had been intimidating at first, to pick her own outfits but Sakura had coaxed her into trying, and encouraging her every step she made in this new reality of hers.
Sakura had also said there weren't than many clothes, but to Eri it was an entire seasonal collection. She eventually found a comfortable red sweater and white pants.
Then she heard a knock on the door, before it slid open, showing Sakura. "Good morning,"
"Good morning Sakura,"
..
..
..
Sakura found that Eri didn't enjoy being idle, to her relief, since this was like most children, full of energy. Although children would often prefer to spend their time on personal projects that was for their sake and entertainment, but Eri was still figuring out what all of that meant to her. So she attempted to be helpful in Sakura's usual tasks of the day rather than playing leisurely. Although Sakura had attempted to keep the girl away from chores, and learn to enjoy the daylight by playing. But there was only so much she could do on her own. Eri was still unfamiliar with this world, more so than Sakura who wasn't even born in it, so she had to be supervised, as she was still skittish.
When she asked to help with chores, Sakura tried insisting that she didn't need to spend her days on the tasks that barely took up any of Sakura's time, but when she noticed the way Eri's face would change Sakura allowed her to do some small tasks, not necessarily anything that Sakura needed done but rather she used this chance to give Eri a new skill set and find activities that kids could enjoy.
Like today, Sakura was taking Eri through the steps of making her own breakfast, this included pancakes. With Eri in charge of mixing the ingredients,though she moved as if her arms were mechanical and rusting, full of hesitation like she could get it wrong. Even though that wasn't possible.
"You're doing such a good job." Sakura was sure to praise, standing beside Eri who had her eyes focused on the bowl's contents like it would come to life and choose to spill over on its own. She couldn't help but giggle at that notion.
"Time to throw them on the pan," Sakura moved to turn on the hotplate and asked Eri to hand the batter bowl. She put Eri at a safe distance, but her eyes followed Sakura's movements as she dropped the batter onto the pan.
"Do you want to flip it for me?"
Eri came up to her, and Sakura picked her up after handing her the spatula. Eri seemed more unsure about this, as she felt the heat.
"Don't worry," Sakura took Eri's hand, "We'll do it together. One, two three,"
That's how Eri was able to flip her first pancake, listening to the pop of the batter.
"Smells nice…." Eri exhaled.
"Ready to flip?"
"Mm!"
"We're going to do a special flip now…One, two….three!" Sakura raised Eri's wrist and the pancake was in the air like a fish leaping out of water, flipping on the other side.
"Perfect landing!"
..
..
..
Seated at the table, Eri and Sakura stared at the spread before them, like they were artists admiring their masterpieces. Their plates filled with pancakes topped with their favorite cut of fruits and syrup.
Sakura breathed a contented sigh. Relieved that she managed to get this far with Eri. She settled into her seat opposite Eri and clapped her hands together.
"Okay, Eri, it's time for the taste test."
She clasped her fork, and took a piece of the pancake, mixed with cuts of strawberries and drizzled in the golden syrup. Eri brought the morsel to her lips. Sakura watched as she chewed and Eri's eyes turned into rubies in the sun, taking another bite in more haste.
Sakura chuckled, and inquired "Is it good?"
Eri nodded, with her cheeks now plumped like a chipmunk from the pancakes. This was the first time she had overstuffed her face and felt that sensation and desperation of wanting to eat faster and receive more of the taste.
"Careful, Eri, you're going to choke of you do that," Sakura cautioned her with tender concern.
She then joined Eri, taking a bite out of her own plate, which made Eri stop and watch her.
"This is good! You mixed it so well, Eri!"
That's when Sakura saw for the first time, at attempt from Eri. With a rosy blush on her cheeks, she strained as her lips twitched, trying to summon a smile. This feat had become a goal for Sakura, to progress slowly and bring out what was every child's right. And slowly, Sakura would give that back to Eri what should never had been taken from her, with each delicious meal, every interaction, she intended to chase away the shadows that wrapped around Eri.
"I like the berries," Eri said.
Sakura smiled. "Me too,"
..
..
..
"Sakura look at this!" Eri's voice now held a hint of excitement, something that was becoming familiar to both her and Sakura. The last time Eri had called her like that was when she encountered a beehive for the first time, spotting it in the tree tops. A situation Sakura had whisked her away from, but still allowed her to see at arms length.
Sakura saw Eri kneeling on the forest floor, looking at a little squirming creature standing one way up in the earth while the other half was burried.
"That's a mole Eri," Sakura said, as Eri watche
"What's a mole, Sakura?"
Crouching down next to Eri, she began to elaborate, "It's like a secret gardener. It digs tunnels underground."
"But how can they see? Isn't it dark?"
"Moles actually have bad eyesight Eri, they can't see but they can feel where they are going. That's why they live underground." Sakura told her.
Eri had a growing appetite for knowledge, and Sakura was always happy to sate it, and create new memories for the girl. Sakura knew that Eri was likely learning what children three years younger than her already knew, but her memory would still be intact of these moments and likely last longer. Sakura hoped that she could paint over all the black that covered Eri's walls, one part at a time.
There was another matter that Sakura didn't touch on yet. What happens after all of this. This couldn't be a permanent arrangement, an abandoned house, surrounded by untamed wilderness and isolation. It was not the cure for Eri, but a start of treatment. This was just a temporary shield from the rest of the world.
Of course, Sakura longed for Eri to trust her, to confide in her. But she understood that she couldn't be the permanent solution to the little girl's trials. There was a big world out there, and Sakura wasn't going to make the best guide. But that was a bridge she would cross when it came to. At the least, she could prepare Eri to face the rest of reality.
She would do whatever it took to help Eri find her strength, to guide her towards a life where she could flourish. The wilderness may have been their current haven, but Sakura's ultimate goal was to nurture Eri's resilience so that she could embrace the world, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead.
..
..
..
'I shouldn't have fed her so much sugar,' Sakura realized as they went about their bedtime routine. She didn't want Eri to get used to late nights, but it took longer to settle the girl in. A warm bath, a 10 minute brush over and three stories later, Sakura received the first signal of exhaustion from Eri with a yawn.
The girl was looking out her window, staring at the moon, big and bright at this time. Though Sakura wanted to get curtains for her, Eri insisted she enjoyed being able to see the stars from her futon and feel the sun in the morning. Curtains would just obscure that pleasure.
Sakura closed the book in her hands, "Eri, would you like to go to the zoo?"
Eri's brows furrowed in confusion, her young mind grappling with the notion. "The zoo?"
"Yes, it's a place where you can see all kinds of animals. Like the ones in your books," Sakura kept her tone upbeat, as she moved around this delicate topic without altering Eri's wariness. She hoped that the fascination would cloud any ongoing worries about interacting with other people.
But Eri, while a bit naive to the world, was not foolish. But Sakura kept giving her a ressuring smile. Though she still voiced her concerns. "Is it out there?"
"Yes, Eri it's in the city." Sakura admitted.
"But what if they find me?" Her voice came out in a whisper and her fingers started to tremble in her lap.
Sakura's expression softened, her hand gently brushing a lock of hair behind Eri's ear. "I'm gonna be right with you every step of the way and I won't let you out of my sight." Her voice grew in confidence, "And I'll let you in on a little secret," She looked around dramatically before leaning in, "No one can beat me, you know why?"
Eri shook her head.
Sakura whispered, "Because I'm a ninja."
Eri's eyes widened with wonder. "A ninja? What's a ninja?"
Adjusting Eri next to her, Sakura explained. "Ninja are people who can do anything. They are warriors who train very hard to protect people and fight bad guys."
Eri listened to her as if Sakura was telling a great fairy tale, showering her with new information. To Eri, the concept of heroes and villains were still foreign, even though they always appeared in the stories Sakura read to her. But she hadn't ever heard about ninja's.
"So you don't have to worry Eri. I'm going to protect you with my life," Sakura promised, however there was still a twist in Eri's expression.
"But what if they hurt you?"
Sakura waved her hand "Oh they can't hurt me! I'm much stronger, I can lift this whole house! And if they try to hurt me, I can fix any cuts like that!" She snapped her fingers, before stroking Eri's head. Her voice becoming softer. "You should get the see the world and experience things that make you happy Eri. They're gone now. Don't let them take anything away from you when they aren't even here okay? I promise I will make sure nothing happens to you. You have my word as a ninja,"
Sakura held out her pinky finger to Eri, who furrowed her brows in confusion. Sakura explained patiently to Eri the meaning of a pinky promise. Eri reached out, interlocking her tiny pinky with Sakura's.
"Pinky swear,"
Eri went to bed that night with Sakura's warmth enveloping her, and thoughts of the zoo. The prospect no longer just daunting but also exciting. And for the first time Eri felt like maybe she could go out and walk amongst others without the fear of being taken back to that cold place that Kai had claimed was her home. Because no she had a ninja by her side.
..
..
..
It was two days before Eri approached Sakura on the topic of the zoo. She came to her that morning, after her mind finally got tired of filling her with worry.
Sakura was in the yard, hanging up their laundry when Eri came behind her with timid footsteps.
"Eri what's wrong? Do you want something?"
With hesitant words, Eri finally found the courage to express her desires. "I... I want to go to the zoo,"
Sakura nearly dropped the basket, she turned fully to face Eri, with a gentle smile, and said "Yes Eri. We can go to the zoo."
..
..
..
While she did her best to keep a straight face, Sakura couldn't help feeling a tinge of unease in the pit of her stomach as she prepared to take Eri on their first journey back into the city together.. It wasn't the possibility of being seen that worried her, they weren't even going to be staying in that part of the city and would be catching another bus and train further out. No, her concern lay in ensuring that this outing would be a source of joy and wonder for Eri, a respite from the horrors she had endured.
She wanted to make this a great experience, and avoid any potential threats that might set back Eri's progress this far.
As they boarded the bus, Sakura guided Eri to a seat by the window. Eri's wide-eyed gaze, akin to a deer caught in headlights, drank in the sight of the passing farmlands, the fields stretching out under the sky.
"Those people working in the fields, Eri, are farmers."
"What are they doing there?"
Sakura spoke coyly, "Oh they're going to grow a bunch of yummy fruits and vegetables,"
"Ah!" Eri turned back to the window and watched as the bus passed by.
The bus rumbled before it began moving, Eri stayed glued to the window, watching as the area shifted from the quiet countryside scene to the bustling city.
Sakura whispered a promise to Eri. "Remember, Eri, I will be here with you every step of the way.."
..
..
..
After two bus rides and a bullet train, each giving a new experience for the young girl, Sakura informed Eri that it was now time for them to travel on foot to their destination.
When they were getting off, Eri held onto Sakura's hand tight as instructed and kept her hair tucked under her hat. This was the most effective way to hide her horn as well. Sakura had done the same, sporting a baseball cap to tuck in her short hair. It was unlikely that they would be spotted, but she intended to get Eri through this day unscathed.
They stood on the edge of the bustling street, Eri's eyes darted around at every noise that caught her ear. Watching as bodies moved around the streets, as if every one knew she wasn't supposed to be here.
Her breath came in short, shallow gasps as anxiety clenched at her chest, threatening to suffocate her. Eri's trembling hands gripped the edges of her coat, seeking solace in the soft fabric that offered a fragile shield.
That's when Sakura's voice lulled her, deafening the beating in her ears and chest. "It's alright Eri, I'm right here. Nothing bad is going to happen to you."
While she could've argued there was no guarantee of anything, Eri couldn't help but feel soothed at the determined promise Sakura's tone carried to her.
Eventually Eri's tense features softened, her eyes sparked with trust as Sakura gently gripped her hand and guided her through the sea of people, who moved along in their own directions, faced with their own situations and focused on their own lives.
..
..
..
They finally reached the entrance to the zoo, a wide gate with few people pouring in as the times Sakura decided to go on a week day when most people would be at work or had other commitments. Eri fixed her gaze on the gate, two pillars with copper lions posing on each side to welcome them in.
"This is a zoo?"
"Just the entrance," Sakura told her, "Inside though we're going to see all the animals. Are you ready?"
Eri nodded quickly in response, this time taking the lead to pull Sakura through the gate, much to her delight.
They started on a winding path, but everywhere they turned, Eri could spot a new exhibit, a line up of enclosures, with signs showcasing the different animals. Sakura held onto Eri, guiding her through this new stimulation.
She pointed out to some exotic birds enclosure, reading all the descriptions that were pasted on the cages and lifting Eri to where she could see them at new angles, and answering her questions.
They went to the aquatic exhibit next. Eri was engrossed by the sights of marine life, able to watch them in their habitat through the glass, underwater for the first time. Instead of just above the surface. She couldn't stop staring at the different species, covered in scales instead of fur, and wearing fins instead of paws, and gliding through the water instead of scurrying on land.
"It's different from the fish we've see," Eri said.
"That's right," Sakura told her. "These are salt water creatures, which means they can only survive in the ocean."
"The ocean…" Eri had seem pictures of the sea in her books, mostly of beaches but she still couldn't believe places like that were real, especially when Sakura told her how deep the sea was.
'Maybe we can try the beach next time,'
Sakura was finally able to pry Eri away from the marine enclosure, and continue on their path. This time they took a turn to an elephant exhibit, which had dropped Eri's jaw when she saw the towering animal that looked like a hill come to life. She watched as its trunk curled onto a bundle of hay and eat it.
They they saw some giraffes. Eri watched, as a younger one leaned its long neck over toward its mother, resting its head against her silky fur and half closing its eyes in bliss. She was entranced by their shape and appearance. Especially their pattern. She watched them, ears like cuddly toys moving according to their mood. She couldn't quite get over their legs, so stretched looking but strong at the same time. Then as if right on cue the smaller giraffe looked her way, its eyes a rich brown.
"It's looking at me!" Eri said before she even knew she said it.
"Yes it is," Sakura replied, paying attention to the way Eri's mouth was pursing towards the sky, closer than before.
That was the rest of their day, a pleasant stretch of animals that entranced Eri. From zebra's with their inky patterns to flamingo's pink feathers, even to the tiger and its predatory gaze that gave Eri a startle.
Then Sakura decided to bring Eri to the one place she believed would take her over the edge of excitement. The petting zoo.
Eri's eyes widened as she surveyed the scene before her. Unlike the forest animals that she had been cautioned against approaching, here, there were no high cages or bars. Instead, goats, sheep, chickens, ponies, calves, and rabbits roamed freely, inviting interaction.
"You can feed and pet these animals, Eri," Sakura explained.
Eri hesitated, uncertainty clouding her gaze. Tentatively, she approached the goats and sheep, her small hands extending with trepidation. The animals, gentle and patient, welcomed her offerings. A small goat bleating after it cleared half of the food in Eri's hands.
Then, Eri stood before a group of rabbits, their twitching noses and velvety ears captivating her attention. Sakura noticed her hesitation and plucked one of the rabbits from the ground and placed it gently into Eri's waiting arms.
And that's when it finally happened. Perhaps it was the building point to this moment, or the warmth of the rabbits fur under her fingers, but for the first time, as if the weights that had been anchoring her lips finally fell, releasing their grip. And that was when Sakura felt a rush of warmth envelop her as she looped at Eri, wearing a smile for the first time.
"It's so cute," she breathed.
Sakura covered her mouth, her eyes trembling, 'She smiled,'