Grace texted me the next day that the only class she found Oliver in was her math class where he sat in the back corner where he had a hidden book with him that he always read instead of listening to the teacher. When she approached to talk to him, apparently he just mumbled awkwardly to himself before running away. When she asked her other classmates about him, they all said he acted similarly in his other classes as well.
"Huh that's odd," I texted back, "He wasn't like that yesterday; maybe he won't even show up then."
*Knock knock*
"Come in."
The door to my apartment opened.
"Welcome to my service shop, how may I…"
"Thank you!"
Coming through the door was Oliver who immediately fell to the ground and began hugging my knees again.
"Thank you, Debra! Thank you thank you thank you!"
"What the… Oliver, what are you talking about?"
"Grace!" he shouted standing up and giving me a hug.
"Please… too tight."
"She talked to me today! Can you believe it? That sweet angel talked to me today."
"Can you please let go?"
He released his grasp
"This was your doing wasn't it?"
"Huh?"
"You told Grace to approach me if she had the chance, didn't you?"
I stared at him blinking a couple of times.
"That's… that's right! Yeah! She seemed pretty interested in you when I told her about our conversation yesterday."
"You think I have a chance to date her?"
He leaned in close to my face showing a dorky smile.
"One step at a time," I said stepping back, "and I can't do this for free you know. You're going to have to work starting today."
"Please, I'll do anything, anything!"
He went to the ground again to hug my knees.
"Okay, can you stop doing that?" I said lifting him up," You know how to use Photoshop?"
-1 hour later-
"Wow, these turned out pretty good!" I said looking over the report cards Oliver changed on my computer.
"Psh… this is nothing." Oliver replied with a smirk, "Way easier than making fan art."
"Making what now?"
**Knock knock**
"Come in,"
2 dudes entered my office carrying backpacks.
"Oh, Steve, Bill, back for more homework answers?"
"You know it," Steve said sitting down at the customer seat with Bill standing next to him.
"Say, where's Antonio?" Bill asked, "Who's this new guy?"
"Oh yeah, Antonio's mom found out about his job. Grace told me she saw belt marks on his arm."
"No kidding, ain't that the 3rd one gone?"
"Yeah, that's why this new guy Oliver's working for me now."
"Yo,"
"What's up," Steve and Bill said waving at Oliver.
"He… Hello," Oliver replied awkwardly waving back.
"Anyways, which subjects are y'all trying to get answers for today?"
"Geometry," Steve said. He took out a homework packet from his backpack. The top of the packet read "Unit 5 Circles."
"Shit Debra, these angles got me fucked up," Bill said, "Obtuse, right, acute, only angle I care about is getting a good angle on a cutie."
"Damn right bro," Steve replied giving Bill a fist bump.
"Uh-huh… so you need the whole packet done?"
"Yeah if possible," Steve said, "But at least the first page. That shit's due tomorrow."
"Right, okay, let's see here,"
I opened up the cabinet with homework answers on my desk.
"Geometry unit 5, geometry unit 5, where are you geometry unit 5."
To my dismay, however, as I checked through the files the geometry homework answers only went up to unit 4.
"Hmm… don't think I have that here yet."
"Nooooo"
"Nooooooooooooooo"
"That's fucked up."
"Yeah man, so fucked."
"What do we do?"
"Shit man I don't know."
"Yeah sorry boys, I can ask my supplier later but…"
"Wait a minute,"
I turned to Oliver who suddenly spoke up. He took a pencil from my desk and Steve's homework sheet.
"This isn't too hard. Just have to do some converting here and…"
He began writing down some work.
"5/12 pi should be your answer."
Steve grabbed the worksheet back.
"Shit, that look right to you Bill?"
"I don't know man, but all this talk about pie is making me hungry let's get some soft serves after this."
"For sure man,"
"What?" Oliver said looking at them exasperated, "No no, pi is a representation of the angles on a circle. 2pi equates to 360 degrees. So for 75 degrees just take the equation 75/360 = x/2pi and solve for x which equates to 5/12 pi."
"…"
"…"
"Damn I don't know what he just said but it sounded pretty smart," Steve said.
"Yeah for real I trust him."
"Now for the second problem."
"Woah Woah!"
I put my arm around Oliver's shoulder and turned him around before he could start the next math problem.
"You think you know how to do that whole packet?" I whispered to him.
"Yeah? It's pretty basic stuff."
"Alright. Just shut up and let me do the talking and I'll give you Grace's phone number after this."
We broke our huddle turning back to Steve and Bill.
"Alright, that was a sample answer, on the house! For the whole packet…"
I picked up the packet and flipped through it. It looked to be 8 pages front and back.
"How about $240? $30 per page?"
"$240?!?! The hell, that's such a scam."
"Yeah so bogus. Wasn't this dude Oliver about to do the work for free?"
"Nope! Oliver is an employee now under Debra's Service Shop. Isn't that right Oliver?"
I looked over at Oliver with a grin holding up my cell phone.
"Oh uhh… yeah that's right! You have to pay Master first!"
Master? When did he start calling me that? Whatever, I looked back at Steve and Bill with a smug grin.
"There you have it boys. $240 or you can find someone else."
"Shit," Steve said talking out his wallet, "I got 100 on me. You got 140 Bill?"
"Yeah but… fuck man that's my allowance money. I was gonna use it on a new video game."
"Bro you ain't gonna be playing no video games or getting any more allowance if you fail math. It's an investment man."
"Shit, you right you right."
And just like that, on the first day on the job, Oliver had completed his first swindle.
-30 minutes later-
As it turns out, Oliver's smart as hell. Apparently, the teachers all know he's reading in the back of their classes, but with his grades as high as they are, none of them could really say anything.
"Ohohohoho I can cut out that middleman at this rate."
"Master Debra, what are you doing?
Oliver said as he saw me smelling some 20-dollar bills.
There seemed however to be only one problem.
*Knock knock*
"Come in"
Entering the office this time was a brunette girl.
"Ah, Justine, what's up? Need test answers this week?"
"Actually I think I might need some of my grades edited. Can Antonio get mine done by like, tomorrow?"
"Oh he doesn't work here anymore; we got a new guy on the job now. This here is Oliver."
Justine gave me a weird look.
"Uhhh... there's like no one there."
"Huh?"
I turned around and saw that Oliver was nowhere to be found.
"Mmmmm"
I heard a whimper from under my desk as it appeared Oliver had hidden and curled up in a ball.
"Yo Oliver..." I said squatting down to talk to him, "You alright?"
"Giirrr girl!"
"Huh?"
"I can't talk to girls Debra! They give me anxiety."
"Uhhh... you realize I'm a girl right?"
"Yeah, but you're different!"
"Everything alright Debra?"
I stood back up and gave Justine a smile.
"Yeah yeah, it's fine! What specifically do you need edited? I'll have it done by tomorrow"
Yeah... unfortunately Oliver would only talk directly with half of our clients. Not that it mattered anyways; he just needed to get the work done after the girls left. All in all, it was a pretty successful first day.
"Ahhhh," I said as I smelled all the bills collected for the day while flipping the sign on my apartment door to "closed". About $500 in revenue today with almost no costs. At the end of the workday, I also added Oliver's phone number to my contacts.
"Here," I said sending him a text, "you earned it."
"Huuuuuuuuuu is this?"
"Yep, it's my sister's number."
"Really! This isn't a prank?!"
"Nope, you earned it. I'll even talk to her about it at dinner today."
"Thank you, master!"
He began to go to the ground again.
"No no stop," I said taking a step back. "No leg hugging"
"Sorry."
**Beep**
I received a text from my mom.
"On a business trip today, take care of yourself for dinner," the message read.
"Wait so, can I go home now then?" Oliver asked.
"Hmmm..."
Even a scam artist like me felt a bit bad taking advantage of Oliver so much.
"Say, Oliver, how bout we hang out a bit first. I'll order some pizza,"
"Re... really?"
He took out his wallet.
"Should I pay for half or..."
"No no that's alright," I said, "my treat."
"Thanks, master! You're so kind!"
"Pshhh... yeah I know."
"Ohhhhhh this is so exciting!" Oliver squealed, "I've never done this before."
"What, have someone treat you?"
"That too! But also I've never hung out at a friend's place before."
Looking back, at the time I wasn't sure if we were exactly friends yet but... I wasn't gonna ruin my cash cow's mood.
"Oh yeah, of course, I mean if you're gonna be working here, best we get to know each other a bit better."
"Yeah!"
He looked at me with a wide grin.
"Oh, this is so exciting too, a new friend!"
"Right..." I began walking towards the door leading to my bedroom.
"So... you like video games?"
"Is that a real question?"
His eyes lit up brighter than ever as he followed behind me.
"Uhhh... yes?"
"Like video games?! I live for video games! This is amazing I didn't know you liked video games too!"
"Yeah, they're pretty cool."
"What sort of games do you have?" He asked leaning in close to me again, "Fantasy games? Platform games? Role-playing games? Ohhhh those are the best. I love just getting lost in the story and the lore and of the characters. It's so much fun! I go on online forums sometimes and make fan art of the characters. You have a favorite video game waifu? Ah, or I guess for you it'd be husbando right? I got tons. The elf girls are my favorite. You have a favorite archetype you like?"
I stared at him blankly not understanding anything he just said.
"Huh?"
-1 hour later-
"Alright if you mortgage Atlantic, Pacific, and Indiana you'll still be about $50 short. Tell you what though I'm feeling generous, I'll buy water works off you for the remaining 50 and..."
"Enough!" Oliver said slamming his controller down on his knee.
"You win you win! This is suffering, how do I declare bankruptcy"
"Niice, easy game," I said taking a bite out of my pizza slice.
"Of all the video games to choose from, why are we playing Monopoly?"
"What do you mean? Monopoly is a game that imitates real-world Economics. Is there anything in the world more fun than capitalism?"
"Urghhh... what other games do you have?"
"Hmmm..."
-30 minutes later-
"Alright so, a hurricane has blown off the roof of your house and..."
"Enough!" Oliver said slamming down his controller again. "You win you win! Ugggghhh... "Life" really? My parents play this on weekends. Don't you play anything where you control actual characters?"
"Actual characters?""
"Yeah, like a role-playing game where you go through a story and have to make different decisions with different characters and that'll affect your gameplay and how the story goes. Character management games.
"Hmmm... character management huh?"
-15 minutes later-
"Alright I think here we should trade LeBron's scrubs, that should get us under the salary cap and still make us contenders for..."
"No not that type of character management. What the fuck what's even fun about this? You're not even playing the actual games! You're simulating them."
"Understanding the delicate balance of managing player salaries while still being able to field a competitive basketball team and sell tickets is fun to me!"
"Urghhhh..."
He quit the game loading us back to my game console's home page.
"You want me to pick a game? I guarantee it'll be more fun."
"Uhhh..: sure?"
He went to the console store and began downloading a game. As it completed download and he loaded it up, in front of my screen appeared some sort of extremely pixelated block world.
"This is Minecraft," he said, "here you can build cool structures, go on adventures, and fight all sorts of whacky creatures. It's fun trust me."
Many months later Minecraft did become one of my favorite games. Holding a monopoly on diamonds and selling them to other players indeed gave me a thrill. That day we played for a while until the late night before Oliver left my apartment. I got another text later from my sister.
"Debs..."
"Yes?"
"How did Oliver get my number?"
"I gave it to him for working today.
"... you ever had someone call you queen and then text you poetry when you barely know them?"
"Uhhh... no?"
"Well, that's what Oliver just did."
"Hahahahahahahaha what the hell?"
"It reads like a bad fan fiction,"
"A what now?"
"Nothing nothing, how much did we make today?"
"$500 give or take, remember to keep up an act okay! Think of the sweet profit margins!"
"Sure, but you'll have to tell him the truth eventually."