A FEW WEEKS AGO…..
After a loooong hard day of work I was finally going to see Rina again. I couldn't wait! Running up the stairs to our apartment was easy- I'd decided to surprise her by getting home early with her favourite chocolates and flowers. Instead of seeing her waiting in the main room for me, there was silence except the TV playing a romantic drama in the corner. There was underwear on the floor and I panicked, running to our room and flinging the door open.
What I saw will NEVER leave my mind- I swear. But all I can say is I wonder how the guy who was with her got her heart and I didn't.
My first thought: NO WAY!! Rina would NEVER do this to me!! But it was done and as the days passed it got in my head that I'd been cheated on by my best friend and fiancé. Such a sudden change of events. I still remember how she cried and I sank to the ground in dismay, watching Rina and her new guy walk slowly from the house glancing at me like I was a monster. I can't remember if I told them to leave or not- it was a day of trauma and I don't want to remember it.
How would I tell Eomma??!
The neighbourhood knew Rina and I as a perfect couple, they admired us and looked up to us without even saying. So I made a decision not to tell anyone.
PRESENT MOMENT…
I open my eyes to that thought, I'm celebrating my first birthday/Christmas alone.
I clear my throat and begin to sing in a wobbly voice..
'H-happy birthday t-to you, happy….birthday to y-you, happy birthday dear YeJoon, h..happy…'
I steady myself and wipe my tears.
'Happy birthday t-to you..! Oh, and Merry Christmas…'
The family joke goes empty and unheard, but I'm afraid to call anyone or they'll ask where Rina is- and I can't explain.
I have the cake specialist down the road no.1 on my list of nosy people suspecting me ALREADY. 25th December is my birthday, Christmas Day and my ex-anniversary with Rina. Every year we'd order a cake and ask for both our name on it, have a private anniversary/bday party & then in the afternoon go round to Eomma's for Christmas dinner. This year I'd asked for my name only, had gone alone and obviously changed a lot- very long fringe, baggy clothes and eyes permanently on the ground… not to mention I've lost a drastic amount of weight. Mr. Choi (the cake specialist) had eyed me strangely and asked several times "where's TheGreat?" - which was Rina's community nickname. I'd replied to each enquiry with a nervous laugh before silence fell on the shop. On my way home the neighbours stared at me, questioning and excited for the new found drama. I kept my head low and now I never want to emerge from my apartment again. The cake candles flicker at me as if snapping "hurry up, we haven't got all day!!" I'm about to wish for Rina back when the obvious truth hits me for the 3rd time. She never cared, ok? You were for popularity and she's happier now.
I wish for this sadness and horrible feeling to go away and never come back. I feel so exhausted and want to sleep.
'Just wait.' I tell myself. The room is so neat and tidy, yet not the tiniest bit inviting. It's so cold and it's like it wishes to kick me out.
"Perfect don't mean that it's working.' I say, echoing the atmosphere. Immediately Siri wakes up and brings results for "Glimpse of us"- which connects to the speaker and begins to play softly. The light flickers out and I'm left holding a cake knife in a candle lit room with rain pouring outside.
***
2 MONTHS PASS….
Everyone has come up with their own assumptions on what happened to Rina and I. The most popular is I killed her and her under my bed, which got so bad the police had to come and investigate and I had to explain everything. My friends and family don't check up on me at all, or Eomma only texts that I'm keeping Rina away from her- but she has my 3hrs older twin brother and big sister & 1,000 cousins if she gets lonely.
My life is a circle of; morning jog, go to work, come home, eat, watch TV, fall asleep. Any second I'm idle my mind strays to depressing things, so I distract myself with long work hours and workouts and TV. On a random day my best friend from school calls me.
'Yeoboseyo?' I ask drowsily- I'd been lounging in front of the TV agin.
'YAH, Yejoon-ah!' He half shouts. 'How are you??!'
'I'm… good' I lie 'And you Beomseok-hyung?'
'Oh I'm fantastic! How's RinaTheGreat, are you married yet? If you are and you didn't invite me to your wedding you're dead meat…'
Silence.
'Uhm…. About that..er…. She's great, yeah…and we decided to leave getting married off for a while…'
'Ok, sure you're ok? You're usually exploding with happiness about Rina… you're just not Yejoon-img today!'
'What?!' I try to laugh. 'What does that mean? And I'm super, thanks'
'You sound very….. anyway, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT!? I JUST GOT A JOB AT THE J.R OFFICE!!' Beomseok screams down the line at me.
'The what? Oh! The J.R! Well done Beomseok-hyung…' I try to sound excited for him-emotions left my brain chat room months ago.
'They have free spaces & I asked if they'd let you have an interview. They said yes!'
'You WHAT?!' I ask, devastated. 'No Beomseok! I have a job, & J.R is in your town! It takes me 4 hours to get there and visit you every month as it is!'
'You're unfair!' Beomseok jeers. You haven't visited me for 3 bloody months anyway! Plus by train it's about 1hr 30 minutes. It's because you took the bus.'
'1hr 30 minutes to get to freaking work? NO WAY, I'm fine with my 10 minute bike ride. Now we'll talk soon if you don't mind.'
'Don't you dare hang up on me you twat.' Beomseok warns in a low tone. 'I already booked you an interview. My first pay check will be cut if you don't attend it.'
'But Beomseok-hyung…' I protest quietly. 'Ok whatever. But I'll do my worst because my current job really is better.'
'Better? How dyou know?' Beomseok snorts. 'You'll be thanking me next year. Don't you want your 5-star fiancé to live in style? I thought you were devoted-'
'Beomseok she's not here.' I blurt out.
'What d'you mean??! No wait, what?!' He gasps.
'I… I said she's here, she can hear you insulting me and she's getting u-upset…' I quickly lie, my voice shaking because I can't believe she wouldn't actually give a sh*t if I was being insulted.
'Fine, you over-dramatic couple.' Beomseok jeers. 'I'll text you the details of the interview. If you don't show up, you pay me.'
He hangs up then.
'AISH!!' I spit out loud. I never booked the bloody interview or even asked for his help. I am content with my busy 9-5 job and don't want to be running 1,000 miles to work everyday because of my dumb, bossy friend.