"The first wedding comb signifies everlasting love, the wedding comb signifies growing old together, and the third wedding comb signifies longevity…" it was hard to admit to myself that even now, my heart was full of bitter jealousy when I had to witness the young concubine who had recently miscarried her master's baby now being dressed in a full red wedding robe as if that unfortunate soul never came into existence at all. Myself on the other hand, was considered 'too old' for such a luxury and I was instead sent off with a second hand wedding garment that wasn't even the right shade of red for the occasion. I was given no wedding accessories at all and the soles of the shoes were already hardened, but I simply did not have it in me to fight anymore since I had lost my luck a long time ago. Nobody wanted me, hardly anyone from my brothel remembered me at all and even in my loneliest of times, I found myself missing my dearest friend HwaWol more and more, despite her becoming more successful than myself at present. HwaWol had managed to retain her beauty, which I heard was passed down to her firstborn daughter that Seo Yeon spoiled non=stop and even SeonHo himself had a rather soft spot for. I heard that she had more children that I have never met and I was beginning to realise that nothing was more regrettable than missing an opportunity leading to success, even if that meant simply staying in touch with loved ones. MoonBok & HwaWol, Seo Hwi and his wife, even Jeong Beom and Chief Park who I heard was on his deathbed now, they all banded together and profited from their talents after meeting SeonHo. Even Seo Yeon herself had her ego inflated and got bolder with each step she took because she knew she had a powerful man by her side who was obsessed with her enough to lay down her life for her if need be. Whereas I had cut everyone off from my life mercilessly and now I had no=one t lean on, no=one to bear my soul to, and no=one who wished to hear me speak at all, never mind be near them.
I was still lost in thought as I made my way into the bridal chair to my new home when I was unexpectedly singled out for using the main entrance of the household of the Senior Scholar whilst the other concubine got to use the main entrance. This was when I finally realised that SeonHo must have sold off his aunt's father's concubine as somebody brand new, whereas I was known all over the kingdom from my days by the side of The Third Prince. There was no fanfare of welcoming servants waiting for me, and it had even begun to rain. But the madame in charge of the servants was rutthless, maybe by the command of The Main Wife and forced me out of my chair too early, causing me to wade out onto the ground that was already flooded with ice cold rain water and snatching away the umbrella that Seonho had picked for me since it has suddenly became an inauspicious sign today of all days. I was practical drenched from my shoes upwards and I was left on my own in my bridal chambers to wait for my groom to welcome me and spend the night with me.
The room I was assigned to was a lot smaller than the one I was assigned to back in the Nam Yangban and it was packed to the brim with all of the things that The Senior Scholar liked, such as his zither, his favourite incense scent that made me nauseous as soon as I smelt it again. He always lit that one up whenever he forced me to become intimate with him and even his favourite tea was spread out right in front of me and it had already turned stone cold. Was I supposed to offer to play him some music? I hadn't played an instrument in nearly 2 decades and I have always had someone serving me instead of it being the other way around, so how was I supposed to become subservient and submissive now? I wasn't anything like Seo Yeon who chose when she would become submissive and when she would rule her husband through his work and other personal issues he had with his long distance relatives. No, I couldn't be submissive, not at my age, but I could at least plan a better future for myself whilst I lived under this roof, which meant getting rid of my competition as soon as I could.
'Mistress Han? The Main Wife is waiting for you to serve her tea as the groom is already in the chambers of The Concubine Yi." "Concubine Yi? And yet I am stuck with the lower ranking name, despite my seniority over that little girl?" "Forgive me Madame, but I do not make the rules, I simply follow them. You must also kneel when presenting the tea to her since she is rather sickly and in bed." "I must kneel? I never thought that becoming a concubine still meant that I had to kneel onto the floor as if I were some sort f lowborn mutt…I simply cannot believe this…" "Maybe your fate will change when you get pregnant, My Lady…" "Pregnant? I doubt that I shall become pregnant ever again…" "
"…from now on, you must speak and act cautiously and serve His Lordship well, do not let him leave your abode in low spirits like he has been recently." "Fret not My Lady, for a sincere heart will eventually melt one made out of pure stone…" "Do you mean that? Truly? Then I wonder why you could never achieve those results with neither Seo Hwi nor his friend, SeonHo? Last I heard; there were quite a few women throwing themselves at Seo Hwi when he as at the side of The Third Prince. And as for The Lord Nam, rum has it that he only changed his ways at work and even in his personal life when he took in that auspicious girl under his father's roof. I can even remember back to the times that he spent with you in that obscure brothel of yours, didn't he always end up chasing after her when their path's crossed anyways?" "My Lady, my fingers are currently burning under this hot cup of tea and…"
"…So, speaking of your new quarters, it is indeed right next to where the servants reside, but it is still a rather elegant place to live and it was my husband's choice to place you there along with your provisions and since the disposal of The Nam Clan, it is only expected of you too mourn for them for a year, so you will be unable to serve your new master before that time is up." "My Lady! You cannot do this to me! I wasn't' t related to them at all!" "And yet you resided with for how many months? I can assure you that the very last thing that you can wish for in this kingdom is a jealous and ruthless reputation, isn't that right? He would never have even looked at you if he wasn't drunk; you have no connections to the palace, and you are past your years for childbearing as am I, you are even unskilled in courting his favour upon your very first night here, despite your little torrid affair with him under my own roof that my family has paid for! So I have assigned no servants for you, so you will have to complete your own chores, starting with sweeping up your entire courtyard before my husband pays you a visiit, and who knows when that shall be? I shall also be in charge of your meals, so you do not have to worry about that since you were married off by The Crown Prince's grace, so I cannot disgrace you too much, can I?" "My Lady, I have already knelt for an hour already and my fingers…" "The room faces west, so it can get rather hot in the summer time, and it can get ice cold during the winter time. You were only favoured fora short while, so my husband naturally hasn't paid any attention to the details of your living quarters, so don't even think about wasting time by complaining to him and throwing back his good graces into our faces! And do not think about bullying others to work for you, since I have already laid down your rules for you and any disobedience shall be met with harsh punishments, I can assure you of that, no matter who you are."
"My Lady, your husband has picked out some rather extravagant fragrance pouches to keep yourself and the new concubine warm throughout this winter. He has included white flowers and dried sea vines in it this time." "How considerate of him indeed…and what is that mess on the tray next to it? Where is your sense of decorum, servant?" "Forgive me My Lady, this one wasn't sewn up properly, so it all just spilled out and became undone only seconds ago…" "Never mind; the materials are still expensive, even if they are of second grade quality, so I shall gift this one to The Mistress Han over here to include her as well. It can still drive away humidity and open up vital energy channels. I cannot afford a reputation of cruelty, can I? And send the girl back to serve me a fresh cup of tea, this one has already gone cold." "Yes, My Lady." "And make sure she carries this on her person at all times as it is a display of affection from my husband so that she doesn't make up any stories about us to her private harem of men, despite the loose stitching and ugly embroidery. It is still useable."
"My Lady, your husband has also gifted the new concubine a personally scribed plaque to hang above her chambers for all to see." "It is common for him to bestow his calligraphy, but to publicise this, and on her first night as well… how dare he! He is supposed to be making up this last minute marriage to me and now he…servants! This concubine's mourning starts right now! So she can be taken to the small temple and begin making collared buddhist scripture streamers and decorate her entire chambers with them!" "My Lady! I cannot do that for a family that was tried for treason so publicly! And in the palace of all places! I shall be known to be affiliated with criminals then! And what good shall that do to this household!" "You are a concubine and your quarters are out of the way, so who shall see them unless they reside in this household alone?" "But it is my first night here! I haven't even taken a sip of water from morning, nor have I hardly slept! It is even raining more intensely now!" Are you defying me on your first night here? Is that a wise choice, do you think? Since you show no sincerity before me, I suppose you will have to sacrifice another night then, and be careful of getting frostbite in this weather; my husband likes a pretty face and a readily available body at all times! Do not loose focus for your greed of warmth and we are out of ginger presently, so we cannot make you ginger soup for recovery either, and that goes for charcoal as well since I need it the most for my recovery, otherwise who shall manage this household in my place? Surely not an undomesticated kisaengs, isn't that right? Also, you must focus on your appearance at all times, so do not dirty your hair of your appearance…hang on. The flowers that are embroidered on your wedding robe, they are the face of eventide, is it not? A flower that dies every single night along with yellow peonies? Only the main wife can wear such flowers! Has nobody taught you anything of decorum in noble households, concubine? Even Seo Yeon was extremely respectful of her status below me, so how can you be making so many mistakes on your first marital night already? Cut up those robes and never again wear them in my presence! Slap her mouth 20 times for this first! And if she does not finish those streamers by morning, she will have to repeat them every single night until she gets it right!"