The cottage, that served as the witches lair, was quite small being that it housed the likes of three ugly, big butt, evil witches. I'm not even sure how they walk around each other in that house with those big, lumpy asses. Their butts are so big, I bet they can't even walk down the hall together side by side without getting stuck. Wait what? That actually happened? Are you serious? Well, of course they never told anyone! How did they get unstuck? What!? They used their lady juice from between their legs to grease themselves?! Okay, I could've went my whole life without hearing that!
But I guess I can't bag on them too much, I mean, I do like a nice juicy ass if I do say so myself. What's this? That's what they look like? I guess they're not that ugly…I'd bump them, especially Elizabeth. Ooh Yowza!
Catherine, Victoria and Elizabeth were the evil sibling trio that founded and owned Fairy Wings. They spent much of their time sitting around on their fat, but pleasantly juicy asses and researched methods of brewing, potion ingredients, stews, and new possible ingredients for concept beverages and foods. And that's exactly what they were doing on this particular night, a night where some unexpected and uninvited guests were to arrive shortly….
"Elizabeth! Any new information about those dirty little fairies?!" Catherine shouted from the kitchen area of the cottage. She was the eldest and greenest of the three and usually led them around. Elizabeth sat in a dusty looking chair in front of the fireplace with an open book in front of her.
"I'm reading as much as I can! I don't think there's a whole lot to know about fairies that we don't already know!" Elizabeth replied. Catherine stood over a large cauldron and stirred the gooey, boiling substance with a long, wooden laddle.
"That's ridiculous! I bet there's plenty more to know about those little shits." Catherine curled her fingers in front of her chin. "Read more! And Victoria!? Where are you!?"
Victoria emerges from a door behind Elizabeth, a cloud of green smoke escaping the room with her.
"I'm here, sister!" Victoria replies as she sat at her own chair in front of the fireplace.
"Help your other sister learn more about fairies!"
"I would, but I'm busy learning about the whereabouts of Pixieland!" Victoria flipped through the pages of her book that was titled; Pixies and the Hidden Land.
Both Catherine and Elizabeth repeat Pixieland in shock. For whatever reason, they hadn't thought of the concept of pixies. Maybe they were too occupied with fairies and how profitable those creatures were.
"I've been thinking," Victoria continued, "That we've juiced the extent of our profits from those tired old fairies, so why not seek a completely new drink with a completely new flavor?"
"Hmm…I like the sound of that." Catherine rubbed her chin gently.
"What about the health benefits?" Elizabeth asked. "What health benefits do Pixies contain?"
"That doesn't matter!" Catherine snapped. "We just make something up, place it on the label, and let the consumers beliefs and trust in us do the rest! Quickly! Research where this Pixieland is located as fast as you can!"
Suddenly, a knock is heard at their front door. No one ever knocks on their door. No one was allowed near their cottage which is why the only entrance is guarded by a big, bad wolf. All three of them get up and hurry to the door.
"Who is that? Who could it be?" Catherine whispers. "No one is allowed up here without prior arrangements! But even then, no is allowed up here!" A broomstick manifests from a dark mist at the hands of Catherine and her wicked witch ways of wicked magic.
Victoria peered through some sort of contraption by the door, an overly complicated peephole. Outside the door, the eyelids of an eyeball flick open and peer down at Andrew, Teenie, and Red, only, Teenie was hiding in Andrew's hood. Red held the silver pitchfork behind her back and Andrew had a recording app on his phone open and ready to record.
Victoria retreated from the telescope/peephole.
"It's that little red bitch and some other guy I've never seen before!"
"What could she possibly want? And she knows better than to show up here!" Catherine growls.
"I say we let them in. It's been almost a full year since we've murdered anyone…" Elizabeth sneers. Catherine snickered.
"You're right…let them in." Catherine giggled and stepped back. Without even touching the door, it creaks open slowly.
"Come in…come in…" Came the spooky voice of Victoria. Andrew leads the way into the creepy and stuffy cottage. The door closes abruptly behind them.
"Well, hello little Red…um, girl and her friends." Catherine says, maliciously. "Even though you're not supposed to be up here, what can we do for you?"
Teenie bursts out of Andrews hood.
"I'll tell you what we're here for! What you're doing may not be considered a crime in the eyes of the law, but it is definitly evil and it's murder!"
The three witches are baffled that a fairy was now in their presence outside of the Plucking and Packaging gardens.
"Is that a fairy?!" Elizabeth scowls. "There's a fairy in our house!"
All three witches reveal their brooms and ready them for a broomstick beating.
"You must be here to try and shut down our company!" Catherine snarls. 'Unfortunately for the three of you, you will not leave this cottage alive!"
Red readies her pitchfork.
"It can't be a crime to kill a witch, can it?" Red asked. "I mean, they can't be people with all the evil that they do!"
Catherine screeches and brings her broom down on Teenie, who flies out of the way just in time. The broom came down on Andrew instead. Elizabeth swipes her broom at Red who blocks it with the forks of the pitchfork. While Catherine swung her broom around wildly trying to hit Teenie, Victoria whacks Andrew repeatedly with hers, backing him against the wall. During the duel with Red and Elizabeth, Red manages to disarm her and stab her in her saggy stomach with the pitchfork! Elizabeth pauses and looks down but only cackles her ugly witch cackle.
"Stupid little red hood rat! A witches insides are acidic enough to melt any metal!" Elizabeth explains. Red pulls out the pitchfork. She wasn't lying. The forks were melted.
"Dammit!" Red cussed. As Elizabeth lunged for her, Red waves the handle of the pitchfork as she is backed up against the wall.
Meanwhile, Catherine succeeds in whacking Teenie out of the air and onto the dirty floor. Teenie gets up and immediately jumps back as Catherine slammed the broom down. Even though Teenie managed to avoid being squashed by the broom, the gust of the impact blew her back against the lower cabinet door. That one actually hurt. Teenie was stunned long enough for Catherine to grab her and hold her up like a little toy.
"You really think you're going to put an end to this corporation? You and your friends are going to die and then we'll-"
As Catherine did her pointless villain monologue, Teenie starts to sneeze from all the dust floating around. She sneezes in Catherine's face who lets her go so she could use her hands to wipe off the fairy sneeze which was burning!
"Oh! My face! My beautiful face! It burns!" Catherine cried. While Teenie continued sneezing a fit, and Catherine screamed and howled at her burning face, Andrew struggles with Elizabeth's broom. While pinned against the wall, Andrew remembers the sign outside that said; "No Photography!" Andrew takes out his phone to bring up the camera.
"You stupid young people! Always on your damn phones!" Elizabeth snarls. "Even in the middle of a fight you can't take your eyes off that damn-"
Andrew turns the phone around so Elizabeth can see what he was doing. He had taken a photo of her.
"Check this out! It's you!" Andrew says. Elizabeth scouls in disgust.
"Eeewww! No! That can't be me!" Elizabeth releases her grip on the broom and backs away. "It's hideous!"
Andrew steps closer to her, holding his phone out to her face so she could get a good look.
"This is you! Look at it! It's ugly isn't it!?" Andrew rubs it in. Elizabeth fell to the floor and started spazzing out.
"How dare you shame anyone else for what they look like while this is you!" Andrew continued. "The worst part is, you're not just ugly on the outside, you're hideous on the inside as well!"
Elizabeth starts spitting out black bile and withering like a dying tree. Just then, Catherine had stumbled into her own cauldron filled with whatever she was making. The cauldron topples over and drenches her entire lower half.
"Oh shit! I'm melting!" Catherine screeches. "You little bitch!"
Victoria steps back and looks at her sisters.
"No! This can't be! My sisters!" Victoria cries. She sticks her broomstick between her legs which immediately started hovering in the air.
"I will avenge you, my sisters!" Victoria vows. "You little brats will pay! Especially you, little fairy!"
Victoria laughs maniacally then flies out of the cottage, disappearing into the night sky. While Elizabeth laid on the floor in a puddle of her own bile and ugliness, and Catherine laid half melted on the floor, Andrew, Teenie and Red celebrate their victory.
"We did it! We beat those ugly witches!" Teenie cheers.
"And we got all the pictures we need," Andrew says. "Come on, lets head back and tell Oliver! Maybe he got a deer to sign the bills by now."
Andrew, Teenie and Redalia leave the cottage as is and make their way back to the Receiving Garden…