It's been a week since Arthur tried Sona's cake, which made his stomach weird.
He still didn't know what exactly she put in it, but one thing was clear: if Sona ever chose to change careers, she had a bright future as a poison master. He could already imagine her name echoing across poison shops and assassination guilds—"The Poison Duchess of Sitri."
While thinking about that, he was walking towards ORC. Just then he felt a presence creep behind him.
"Art-san! Where are you going?" Issei called out, jogging up beside him with the grin of a man who had just committed a minor but personally fulfilling crime.
"ORC," Arthur said. He glanced at Issei's ridiculously proud expression. "Why are you smiling like that? Something good happen?"
"Oh yeah. Very good!" Issei puffed out his chest, grinning like an idiot. "Motohama just found a new peeping hole into the girls' swimming club changing room."
Hearing that, Arthur just stopped on his step and looked at Issei like, 'Are you serious?' but Issei seems to misunderstand his look.
"Hey, hey, don't look at me like that!" Issei said defensively, hands raised as if caught red-handed—which, in a way, he was. "If you want, I can take you there too!"
"..."
Arthur blinked again.
'This idiot… is proud of felony.'
[Sir, I understand the desire to destroy lesser life forms now.] Friday, chimed in flatly from his mind.
Arthur sighed deeply and kept walking.
Issei kept pace beside him, still oblivious. "You don't understand, Art-san! The angles are perfect. It's practically a gift from God! Or maybe it was Satan… Either way, praise be!"
If it had been a goddess or someone on par with Aphrodite, he might've humored the sentiment. But 'high school swimsuit voyeurs' wasn't exactly his spiritual alignment.
Still… it wasn't his place to be the morality police. However…
'Maybe I should give him the sequel to the All-Male World as a little prank,' Arthur mused, a dangerous smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. 'Let him enjoy that fantasy.'
Just then, a voice called out to him from across the hall.
"Arthur."
He turned and found Rory Mercury walking toward them.
Unlike her usual black gothic attire, she was wearing the Kouh Academy's uniform. Which Arthur has to say is very good-looking on Rory; he can't get enough of it.
"Rory, What are you doing?" Arthur asked.
That's when he remembered that Issei is still with him.
"Oh, nothing, I just saw you." Rory said, her tone deceptively casual as she came to a stop beside them. Then her gaze shifted to Issei. "But I didn't realize you were with company."
That was a lie. A very transparent one. Arthur concluded.
Seeing that the silent beauty of Kouh Academy was talking to Issei, he was thrown off guard; after all, it's the first time Issei has seen Rory taking the initiative to talk to someone else.
Because Issei stood frozen, blinking rapidly.
"Y-Y-You're Rory Mercury?! T-The silent beauty of Kouh Academy?!"
Arthur watched the color drain and flood Issei's face all at once and barely suppressed a chuckle.
"Uh, h-hi there… I'm Issei Hyoudou!" he blurted, bowing awkwardly.
"Yes," Rory said with a small smile. "I know."
Issei nearly choked on air. "Y-You know?!"
"Of course, we are in the same class after all." Rory said.
"Anyway, since you are with Issei," she said, turning back to him, "I'll see you later, Arthur. Don't be late tonight."
And just like that, she walked away.
Tonight? What tonight? Arthur thought, He can't remember anything special about tonight.
"...Did she mean—what did she mean by that?" Issei asked in a strained whisper.
Oh! Only then did Arthur understand what just happened. Rory, you son of a bitch.
Arthur shrugged. "Don't know. Don't ask. Just pretend it never happened."
"But she—she said don't be late! Tonight!" Issei's eyes widened in panic. "Art-san, are you dating Rory?!"
Arthur blinked. "Of course not."
She is just my wife, nothing more.
🔹🔹🔹
Minutes later, in front of the Occult Research Club...
"Kiba! KIBA!!" Issei screamed as he flung himself toward the unsuspecting knight. "You have to listen to me, man! Art-san betrayed us!"
Kiba, who had been casually polishing his blade, looked up just in time to get tackled by a weeping Issei.
"He's supposed to be one of us!" Issei bawled. "The Brotherhood of Single Kings! But nooo! He went and got himself a beautiful, older, slightly terrifying girlfriend who casually flirts in public!"
"Issei—Issei, please let go," Kiba said through gritted teeth. "You're going to wrinkle my jacket."
From behind, Arthur arrived just in time to witness the theatrical display. He sighed, walked up, and smacked Issei on the back of the head with a firm thwap.
"What the hell are you doing?" Arthur asked.
"Being emotionally honest!" Issei wailed, clutching at Kiba's shirt like a child who just dropped his ice cream.
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I told you. I'm not dating Rory."
"Then what was that whole thing about tonight?!" Issei shot back, pointing dramatically. "She said it all sultry and mysterious!"
"Rory always talks like that," Arthur replied flatly. "You'd know that if you didn't spend all your time trying to find pervy peepholes."
"She was in my class long before you arrived, but she never talked to anyone like that. I was going to ask her out next year, during the cultural festival! I even wrote a plan!"
Arthur patted him on the shoulder. "Burn it."
"You're all monsters," Issei mumbled. "I hope someone else sees her with you tonight and thinks the same thing." Then he continues. "We three are supposed to be true virgin kings."
"Issei, Just talk about yourself." Arthur said.
Issei looked at Arthur like he didn't know what he was talking about, and as if realizing something, he collapsed on the ground.
Arthur stared down at Issei, who now lay sprawled on the school floor like a man whose entire worldview had just crumbled into dust.
"…You're not a virgin either," Issei repeated again, this time quieter, as if hoping it would somehow change reality.
Kiba blinked. "You seriously didn't know?"
"Wait—you knew?!" Issei snapped, sitting up and glaring at Kiba like he'd just been stabbed in the back. "You knew, and you didn't tell me?!"
Kiba gave a shrug. "I thought it was obvious. Look at him. He walks around like he's allergic to shame and immune to embarrassment. No virgin has that kind of presence."
Arthur raised a brow. "Should I be flattered or worried?"
"Worried," Issei shot back dramatically. "Because you've ruined everything! We were supposed to be the Trinity of Chaste Champions!"
"First of all, never say that again." Arthur said. It's one of the embarrassing titles he have ever heard.
"Second," Kiba added helpfully, "I was never part of your 'virgin kings' club. You just made that up."
Issei threw his hands up. "Then it was just me?! All this time?! I—I carried that honor alone?!"
Arthur walked past him. "Honor? You were clinging to it like a life raft."
Issei stood up and dusted himself off with a determined glare. "You may have fallen, Arthur. But I will carry the torch now. I'll become the last true virgin in this school! The protector of purity!"
Arthur deadpanned. "You are planning on peeping on the girls' swimming club."
Issei paused. "…Shut up. That doesn't count."
Kiba laughed, holding the door to the club room open. "Come on, saint of sinless suffering."
❌❌❌
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