Disclaimer: I own nothing but my original characters and works; all other characters and worlds belong to their respective owners. I'm just playing with them.
Betad by Priapus, Malcolm Tent, Beans, Marethyu
The Guild of Gamers: The Craftsman
Chapter 06: Felwood
– Tyrande Whisperwind –
A part of her believed that she was making a mistake by joining the campaign in Felwood herself. She, like Alexstrasza, was too powerful and too well-known. Her direct involvement would send waves through friend and foe.
And yet, she felt the need to be here. It wasn't a message from Elune, as her Goddess simply seemed pleased that Flynn had been hired to work for the Kaldorei people. It helped divert them from the future where he simply set up some forge in a distant corner of the world and worked in isolation, uncaring of the threats to Azeroth.
No, she felt the need to be here herself for two reasons. First, this had the potential to be the first strike in pushing back the Fel corruption that was spreading across her land, and she wanted to see Flynn's work firsthand… and secondly, she didn't think she could handle the shame of sitting in her temple while others fought to retake a large section of Northern Kalimdor for her people.
The druids of the Emerald Circle were awed to see the force that arrived in the small Emerald Sanctuary in the south of Felwood. As she spoke with them, she tried not to take their gratitude as an accusation. Being thanked for aiding their war against the Fel felt almost like they were asking 'where have you been for the past five years?'
She had supported their efforts in cleansing the forests since the Dreadlord Tichondrius had used the Skull of Gul'dan to desecrate and spread the Fel corruption across the forests, but as the leader of the Kaldorei she'd had to make hard choices over where to place her forces with all the chaos engulfing their world. The Felwood had not received the attention it deserved, and as the leader of the Kaldorei, being thanked for returning her gaze to the ancient forests of her own people felt like a slap to the face.
Flynn showed little interest in the tactical planning of the assault, simply stating that she could point him in the direction of whatever needed hitting. He was no commander, and had no interest in taking part in the battle plans as he instead spoke with the druids over where best to plant the pillar. The chosen location was the ruins of Constellas, where the leader of the Jadefire satyrs had made his home. They had done much to worsen the Fel presence there, and the pillar would do the most good if placed in the heart of the corruption.
Shadow Hold would have been another good position, but the Dreadlord that had inhabited it was doing much to hide his presence and had not so openly spread the corruption. With his death and capture within Flynn's gem, it was a lesser target. Especially as Flynn admitted he'd simply killed everything he'd come across on his adventure through it.
So, they would split into two primary forces. One, marching north-west from the Emerald Sanctuary, and one marching south from the Talonbranch Glade to wipe out as many of the demons as possible as their presence was a continual source of corruption. With their sheer numbers and the element of surprise, they would wash over the forces with relative ease.
She gave orders for her forces to avoid the Ironwood Clearing and the Bloodvenom Post, the two Horde outposts, as their goal was the demons. It was not received well, and even she wasn't sure what to do about the Horde presence once the Legion forces in the Felwood were eliminated. None of the druids would be willing to tolerate the logging of sacred trees once the immediate threat was removed.
Jaina would remain with the southern forces, where Flynn would be, as her expertise would be helpful in understanding the Pillar of Cleansing. Tyrande wished Malfurion was awake, because his knowledge of Druidism was unmatched and would be of great help here. She herself would be able to sense the corruption being removed, but this was both druidic and magical in a way that eluded her skills as a Priestess.
As such, she'd join the force in the north and Keristrasza would provide air support. A dragon was always a good thing to have on your side, and the seemingly gentle daughter of Alexstrasza appeared outright eager to incinerate the Legion forces. She too seemed disappointed that she wasn't allowed to just burn down the Horde encampments, as no Red Dragon was fond of the Horde after the crimes of the Dragonmaw clan, but there were mostly only goblins, tauren and some forsaken in the Felwood. It was for the best that the orcs had no presence, as she wasn't sure Keri wouldn't 'accidentally' set an orc camp aflame.
Once the Fel was absorbed into the Pillar- as Flynn was convinced that a single pillar would be enough for the entire Felwood- the Druids would begin to return the long-suffering forest to life, and she could feel Elune doing… something in preparation. Her Goddess was preparing a miracle, she was sure of it.
So, all she could do was ensure that every demon between the Felwood and cleansing was wiped from this world.
– Jessir Moonbow –
It was one thing to see just how big Flynn was, and another entirely to watch him in action. He had repeatedly insisted that he was not a warrior, happily admitting that there was little technique in his fighting as he focused on crafting over everything else.
And yet, watching a satyr being sent flying back from a swing of that massive hammer, she had to wonder if technique was even still needed when you had that kind of size and strength? What did it matter if you were merely swinging a hunk of metal around when anything it hit was reduced to a bloody smear? He had made a joke about everything looking like a nail when all you had was a hammer, and hammer away at the demonic nails he did.
Firing one of her new arrows, she giggled as it struck directly into a demon's face and promptly exploded. When Flynn had had the time to make her a new quiver full of arrows, she wasn't sure, but Flynn's philosophy of 'blow up the things bothering you' was highly effective. He mumbled something about making her and Arko new armour and weapons, but with his own work he'd just not had the time.
As a Felbeast lunged at Flynn, he grabbed it by the throat with a grunt, tossing it into the air. Watching in amusement, she laughed as he swung his hammer in a massive circle, striking it as it came down only to send it flying back into an imp, both promptly exploding.
His hammer blew up. It caused things it sent flying to blow up. He occasionally blew up. Flynn really did have combat down, didn't he? How do you fight someone who will probably explode the moment you strike him, leaving him unharmed and anything unfortunate enough to be nearby in pieces? It was why he fought further ahead than most, uncaring of blades, fangs and arrows trying to pierce his skin as he laughed.
Only one person was crazy enough to fight by his side, as Rakaiah lunged at one of her fellow succubi, pinning her to the ground and tearing open the demon's stomach with her claws. Rakaiah was… well, nobody really knew anymore. Could she still be called a succubus with no Fel within her? Flynn had decided to let her out to play, as if she died she'd simply return to the gem he had her soul trapped in, and the mad former-demon seemed to take special pleasure in slaughtering her own former kin, demonstrating the power she had now that she was filled with Flynn's Titan energy.
Arko was enjoying herself as she sliced through Satyrs with her greatsword, snarling and raging. She was fighting more like an Orc berserker than a Night Elf warrior, but that was why Jessir was keeping an eye on her. Hopefully, this would help Arko get over the slump she had been in since Trey's death.
"Titan!" a massive satyr called out as they got closer to the ruins of Constellas. Was this Xavathras? She'd heard the druids name him as the leader of the Satyrs in the Felwood and his sheer size compared to the others certainly suggested that. "Face me, abomination, and know the Legion's wrath! I am the Vile Duke of the Jadefire, the Prince of-"
That was about as far as he got before a giant hammer hit him in the face and promptly exploded. The other satyrs froze, some seeming downright insulted at the idea that Flynn wasn't willing to let their boss monologue.
Then, they all watched as a stream of sickly green energy left the mangled corpse and flew toward Flynn, absorbed into the massive runestone he was carrying on his back like a backpack. The damn thing was the size of her, but Flynn lugged it around without a care, as it absorbed the souls of each dead demon, preventing any from fleeing to the Twisting Nether to return to harass them again. Most of them did not have enough Fel energy to be visible as Flynn absorbed them, but credit where it was due… Xavathras at least had more power in his soul than the average satyr.
Now, demons were often whimsical with their own lives. Why would they not be? At worst, they went home for a spell and returned to harass Azeroth's defenders all over again. And yet, as a cold realisation fell over them, suddenly the demons found themselves far less willing to throw their lives away, and that hesitation cost them dearly as the advance continued.
Imps tried to phase shift back to the Twisting Nether, but Archmage Proudmoore's magic said otherwise. Satyrs fled, only to be run down by Kaldorei hunters. Succubi flew away, only to learn that the skies were the last place you wanted to be when so many Kaldorei Sentinels were armed with bows.
So, they could have been forgiven for believing that things were going their way.
That was when the maniacal laughter began as a thick green slime spread across the battlefield.
"Go, my kitty! Go!"
Spotting a rather insane looking Forsaken cackling to herself as a massive corrupted saber cat with green fur and giant claws charged toward them. Immediately, she, and several other hunters, sent arrows at the mad woman, wondering what the Forsaken was even doing here. Why would anyone, even the Horde, ally with the Legion?
The slime responded in kind, rising up to protect its mistress as several arrows sunk into it harmlessly. Hers, at least, exploded sending some of the thick green goop flying. It did little to actually stop the slime, however, as it surged forth toward the battlefield.
The only benefit was that the legion seemed as surprised as they were, with shouts of 'traitor' filling the air as the slime washed over friend and foe. She watched with wide eyes as a satyr fell to the substance before rising again, covered in the thick ooze.
Lady Proudmoore was perhaps the only one not caught entirely by surprise, her magic shielding the Kaldorei and Dryads closest to the slime to allow them to fall back, as the fighting began anew, now against demons that had been… converted into ooze creatures?
What a strange day.
– Assumi –
Hm.
Yeah, someone in the Shadow Council wanted her dead because what, in the name of every God that was willing to listen, did they give the mad alchemist to cause this? She had provided some support during the fight but… that was Jaina Proudmoore. She was so outmatched it wasn't even funny. Her magic was being just casually blocked by a woman who was giving her maybe five percent of her attention.
Watching as her target literally wrestled the twisted saber cat, she considered her options. Sure, she could attack him from behind and hope Jaina was too busy protecting the Night Elves and Druids to help him, but then she'd have to stop protecting herself from the slime as her fire burnt away the ooze that tried to approach her. Oh, and she'd almost certainly be murdered the moment she did so by the many Night Elves or Jaina herself, assuming she wasn't consumed by ooze and turned into an undead abomination, reanimated by slime. Not for her, thanks.
She could flee, and face the Shadow Council for failing her mission, where she would be tortured to death and then murdered by whichever asshole sent her here to die. Yay. Had she turned someone down, not realising they were high ranking enough to pull this shit? Maybe they were expecting her to fail so they could demote her and keep her as a slave? Yeah, also a no.
So, what was a girl to do? Her eyes went to the… was that even a succubus? It clearly used to be but she'd never seen one quite like it as the demon (?) used golden fire to burn away the encroaching slime to protect Flynn.
Well, if Flynn was willing to recruit a literal demon, surely a very apologetic warlock wasn't such a large stretch? Glancing at his size again, she adjusted. It was going to be a large stretch but she was a flexible girl and when her choices were crazy undead trying to turn everyone into ooze creatures, certain death or enslavement, or throw her lot in with the guy who was already on the Shadow Council's shitlist, she knew where her best chance was.
With literally zero hesitation or guilt, Assumi cast Searing Pain on Winna, setting the Forsaken Alchemist on fire. Amusingly, the madwoman seemed genuinely upset at the betrayal, as if her creation wasn't trying to eat Assumi at this very moment. This was why siding with literal lunatics was never a great idea.
Prince Xavathras had boasted of how he'd easily best Flynn. She wasn't even sure Flynn would remember him tomorrow. Winna swore her creation would turn the tides, forgetting to mention that it would kill them just as much as it killed the Kaldorei. Yeah, she wasn't feeling overly guilty about this little readjustment of loyalties.
Seeing that fire seemed to work on the slime, she began a rain of fire upon the greatest mass of the ooze, making sure not to hit the Kaldorei and give them any more reasons to beat her to death the moment this chaos was over. She was already going to be unpopular as a Shadow Council Warlock, she didn't need to add 'killed some of their men' onto her list of crimes.
Flynn overpowered the giant cat, slamming it to the ground and bringing his hammer down on its skull, distracting Winna from her attempts to murder Assumi as she cried out in what might be genuine grief, launching poison bolts at Flynn for his crimes.
Assumi appreciated the distraction, her hellfire burning away the encroaching slime with far more success now that Winna wasn't directing her 'experiment' toward Assumi. Now, she just had to hope the 'good guys' let her talk before introducing her to that giant hammer.
– Flynn –
It's good to see that alchemists are mad bastards anywhere you go. Hitting the slime with my hammer, I let out a grunt. Mother is never going to let me live this down because you know what slime is?
Resistant to blunt and explosive damage. Guess what two types of damage I brought to the playing field?
Yeah.
I am definitely not pouting as Jaina and the Warlock on the other side do all the work, burning away the slime with fire, the druids doing their best to delay its spread. Ugh, I'm going to have to make something that doesn't explode, aren't I?
Father did this. I'm sure of it. I can feel his hand in this fight. This is exactly the sort of 'lesson' he'd give me. Cunt.
As if to respond to my words, the slime surges toward me but I just explode again. It can't actually get onto me, but every explosion risks sending some at my allies which is less than perfect.
You know what? Fuck this, I know how to solve this problem.
Dropping my hammer, I charge toward the slime and begin my master strategy. Clearing the path toward the mad alchemist, I simply begin exploding and don't stop as the slime is blasted back, my heavy footsteps taking me closer and closer to the surprised woman. Big legs means big steps, and even a battlefield doesn't seem that far when you're as tall as I am.
She tries to retreat, but I'm bigger and faster and she can't move easily because she's filled the battlefield with acidic necromantic slime. It doesn't target her, because she's made it ignore undead, but it's just as dangerous to herself as it is to others, judging by her caution.
And when a small person is retreating cautiously and a big person is charging recklessly, only one person wins that race.
Grabbing her from behind, I call upon my training with Kaito as I wrap my arms around her stomach and throw myself back, smashing her headfirst on the ground in a perfectly executed suplex.
'Mages are flimsy creatures. Get your hands on them and repeatedly suplex them.' - Kaito, and the art of teaching nerds to stay off the battlefield.'
The undead is more resilient than a regular human mage, but still very clearly dazed from the blow as I rise up and simply stomp on her face. I don't put enough pressure to kill her, because she's unknowingly handed me one hell of a test subject before I head to the Plaguelands. Picking her up, I toss her over my shoulder and watch the girls work.
With its master down for the count, the slime loses some of its 'intelligence' because she was just directing it with magic. Now, it just kinda sits there helplessly as the fires burn it away.
"Flynn, no. You can't keep her," Jessir teases, and I just huff.
"I was going to have Pia fly over to the Plaguelands and pick me up a Forsaken, but since this lunatic attacked us the Horde don't get to complain, right? I need one alive- well 'alive'- to work out just what the fuck the Lich King did to them," I explain with a shrug.
"You really think you can restore them to life?" Jaina asks, and I pause as I look over my new guest.
"Almost certainly. The only real question is 'how hard is it going to be', which is why I want one that is in relatively good shape… physically at least, to work that out," I answer, turning to our unexpected ally. Before anyone can say a word, she tosses down her staff and raises her hands.
"I surrender," the ginger warlock says instantly. "To him!"
"Sure," I shrug.
"Flynn, you can't keep them both," Jessir corrects.
"Says who?" I ask, flexing slightly.
"Yeah, says who?" The curvy ginger backs me up as Jaina sighs and rubs the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "I'm Assumi, by the way, Master. For the record, I didn't know Winna was going to do that. She was… vague on what her plan would do but it didn't involve us all being eaten by slime."
"She's an alchemist, they're all like that," I say with a shrug.
"Aren't you an alchemist, Craftsman?" Arko points out with a small smirk. It's good to see her in a good mood after the mass slaughter of the satyr.
"And I use my talents to make things explode. See my point?" I ask, seeing her open her mouth to respond before she pauses and just nods in agreement. "Now, let's get this place cleansed already. I'd say to check in on how Tyrande and Keri are doing, but given that they are the High Priestess of Elune and a dragon, the answer is probably 'better than us'."
– Tyrande Whisperwind –
Watching the last of the demons fall, Tyrande admitted to herself that she had missed this as she put away her glaive. It had been too long since she'd had the time to stop doing politics and just take her blade to the enemies of the Kaldorei.
Some tried to flee, but a shadow from above told her that she needn't chase them, as Keri flew over the fleeing demons and unleashed a small wave of fire. She appreciated that Keri was limiting the damage her flames did, most fitting of a daughter of the Life-Binder.
She couldn't say this was a hard battle. She would hardly call it a training operation for the Sentinels, which only led her to ask herself why she had permitted the demonic taint in her lands for so long. Yes, she hadn't had access to Flynn before, but if she had simply taken a week to cleanse the forest, the druids and dryads would have had a much easier time in reclaiming the Felwood- which would probably need a new name soon enough.
Her mind went to Ashenvale, the ancestral homeland of her people. Perhaps one of the most sacred places in her people's history, now flooded with demons and orcs who cut down their sacred trees, many older than the entire Horde, without a care for the history or importance.
She could feel Elune's approval as her forces continued their journey to the ruins of Constellas. The sight of Jaina burning away some strange thick ooze that was splattered on just about everything caused a moment of pause as one of her Sentinels reported on the events that occurred here. The Horde at the Ironwood Clearing had simply fled, unwilling to challenge them, but it sounded like this 'Winna' was not entirely there in the head.
Giving the warlock a suspicious look, she sighed. She'd let Flynn keep a literal succubus, so what was a warlock? She'd have a word with Jessir and Arko to keep an eye on her if Flynn decided to keep her.
"Over here, Lady Tyrande!" Flynn bellowed, and some of her sentinels scowled at his 'disrespect'. She didn't take it like that, he was simply a blunt person. She was mildly surprised he'd remembered to add a 'Lady' in there, and wouldn't have overly cared if he hadn't. Not for the service he was doing for her people as a test run for healing their home. "The Sentinels said to wait for you to show up. Been ready for hours, but it gave me some time to work out the range and have Pia place down some guiding stones.
"Guiding stones?" Tyrande asked. She had seen the giant Roc flying above during the fight, but hadn't given it much thought as Flynn pulled out a map and showed her the marked spots.
"If I just set it off normally, it's going to just work in a big radius. See the circle?" Flynn asked, poking the map several times. The first circle didn't encompass the entirety of Felwood, but instead spread out into Ashenvale, Darkshore and even Mount Hyjal centered on their current location. "But guiding stones are basically just markers to guide the magic and shape the area of effect. They connect with each other, creating a barrier that prevents the effect from spreading outside of it, defining a boundary. Pia can get around fast enough to place the markers so the effect should look more like this."
The second, far more misshapen area covered the entirety of Felwood, with markers along it to show where the guiding stones were planted.
"Anyway, I'm ready to get this show on the road whenever you are," Flynn said, patting the large stone pillar as Jaina came jogging over.
"Is that the Dreadlord's gem?" Tyrande asked.
"Yup. Needed something to power this, and this cunt is at least partially responsible for this mess. Don't worry, there's no chance of any of his corruption leaking out or the absorbed Fel empowering him. The biggest threat is that he'll be too weak to make a proper forge when we're done here, but there's other Dreadlords and I've still got my eyes on Ragnaros anyway," Flynn waved off. "The only person who needs to be worried is Bay- whatever his name was. This is going to hurt like a bitch, and unlike with Rakaiah, I don't think he'll be getting off to it."
Her sympathy could not be weaker for Banehollow. It was not as fitting as using Tichondrius himself, but Flynn's mother's idea of using the demons as mere unwilling energy sources was actually growing on her slightly.
"So, what is left to do?" Tyrande asked, and Flynn just grinned and placed his hand on the pillar.
"This," he said, the runes all glowing at once as a pillar of light shot out into the sky. Felwood had long been flooded with a sickening fog, darkened ground and dying trees, but before their eyes, they watched as the pillar pulsed out with light that seemed to stretch beyond the horizon and then sucked back in, bringing all the toxic corruption with it.
The immediate area cleared up in an instant, and with her own divine senses she could feel the complete lack of Fel in the ground and trees around them, though it was still in the air simply because it was being drawn in from basically every direction.
In her mind, she felt Elune begin to move as divine power poured through her into the land around her, grass regrowing, trees healing and flowers blooming for the first time since Tichondrius brought this place to such a sorry state.
"Right, that's up and running. Give it a few hours and we'll be all set," Flynn grunted, the only person looking entirely unimpressed. "I'm gonna get started converting all the trapped Satyrs, Felbeasts and other demons into pure mana. Gimme a shout if anything weird happens."
Grabbing his massive runestone from his back, he humped it over his shoulder and just… wandered off as if there wasn't a literal miracle happening before him.
— Bonus Scene — Darla Drilldozer
Some people thought Goblins were dumb, crude, backstabbing creatures.
She stabbed those people in the back, so they were probably right for the most part.
But if there was one thing her kind were good at, it was not getting squished when something bigger and stronger came around. When you were small and fragile, submitting to the stronger races that could crush you was just good business, yeah? You can't make money if you get crushed to death for pissing off some muscle-brained idiot.
So, when she heard the Alliance were making a big fuss in the Felwood, she shrugged and figured it'd amount to fuck all. Their efforts usually did, so why give them a second look? She had Ironwood to chop and sell. It was good wood, made great siege weapons, bows if you preferred ranged weapons that didn't go bang (fucking elves), and fortifications. It was good money and good for the Horde's war efforts.
What wasn't good was when a fucking Red Dragon started flying around turning Fel cunts to bubbling flesh. Now, she wasn't gonna shed a tear for some Satyrs, but uh… if the Alliance killed all the demons in the Felwood, who were they gonna fight next ?
The answer? Her and her little lumber camp.
Still, she hadn't gotten this far by running away at the first sign of trouble, even if she had to whack some of her idiots over the head for wanting to pick a fight with the Alliance. Sure, she didn't mind a scrap, but not when the enemy laughably outnumbered her, and the Night Elves had sent a lot of Sentinels into the forest for some fucking reason. Why'd they suddenly care all of a sudden?
No, she started packing up her things and rounding up her boys when she saw fucking Tyrande Whisperwind herself massacring demons like she was cutting the grass with fucking Jaina Proudmoore backing her up. She didn't even have balls and they still managed to jump up to the back of her throat as Darla decided now was the time to be anywhere but here. Sure, the Warchief wasn't gonna be happy to hear that they weren't getting no more wood from their camp, but it was better than losing the whole camp because someone did something stupid and caused a war that they couldn't win, right?
Besides, everyone knew Thrall was a tree-hugging druid who didn't want to throw down with the Alliance anyway. He'd get it. His ex was even here. Probably. She wasn't sure if Prudemore had been bouncing on that green meat but surely he'd understand them not picking a fight with a mage who could swat her whole camp?
But, she wasn't one to give up entirely when she smelt profit and something about this whole shitshow smelt like solid gold to her. So she'd had some of her sneakier, more expendable boys stick around to watch the show and work out what the fuck was going on.
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" Thrall asked quietly, frowning slightly. It wasn't an unhappy frown, it just looked like he was in deep thought about something.
"The Night Elves and Archmage Proudmoore have found a way to cleanse the Fel crap from their forests. My boys saw it, firsthand, some magic pillar drew it all out of the ground, and got rid of that ugly glow. Then the druids brought the whole forest back to life," Darla reported easily. Information was valuable, especially when only you had it in your whole faction.
"Interesting, indeed. And they didn't attack you?" Thrall asked.
"Nah, not even when one of my idiots got caught sneaking around. They just tossed us out and told us not to return. I decided to ditch the Irontree Clearing lumber camp before they turned their eyes to us. They barely tolerated us when they had to deal with the Fel shit between us, and I wasn't gonna tempt fate now that they cleared the whole forest," Darla admitted shamelessly. "Did I mention the Red Dragon that kept flying over us? Our camp is made of wood. Flammable wood."
Thrall let out a huff that might have been amusement, as he stroked his big beard.
"You did well, Darla," Thrall said, as she let out a secret sigh of relief. No matter how tree-hugging Thrall was, admitting she'd abandoned their only camp in the entire region was not something she had looked forward to. "You were right to avoid the risk of this turning into a battle, especially with so many sentinels still clearing the last of the demons. Give your men some time off, before your new assignments."
"You got it, boss," Darla saluted, entirely proud of herself. Her name was on the mind of the big boss and she didn't have to fight a force that would crush her beneath their feet without even slowing down, plus she got to ditch the gloomy Felwood and get away from all the demonic shit for a while.
Pretty big win in her books.
"Oh, uh, that crazy Forsaken alchemist from Bloodvenom Post did try attacking them with some weird ooze shit. Winning Hazzard or something," Darla added as an after thought. "...she lost."
Author's Note: This fic is the hardest to write. Dragon doesn't compare. Finding info on WoW is a pain in the ass, especially with the whole pre/post cataclysm thing. I basically lived on the wiki while writing this.
If you notice any mistakes, do not inform me. I will not be fixing shit.
Written: 20/05/20206