It's funny to admit that despite my demeanor, I truly do not know what to say. Coming across as clueless or even unprepared has never been apart of my being. A result of my always headstrong and confident parents who always were sure of themselves. I easily adopted their mannerisms and choices, twisting it into something fitting and perfect for myself. So to admit to myself that I do not know what I'm going to do… is truly embarrassing.
Though, even with the embarrassment that sends myself into a frenzy, I cannot allow it to be known. Especially when the man I'm meeting is my grandfather, an individual who does not deserve to see me in a weaken state. I stand outside our home, back straight, head raised, and hands casually in my pant pockets. A stance that I picked up from my mother, she would always hold it whenever dealing with difficult and problematic individuals. She said that it didn't make her look too soft, she still looked human, but it showed that she wasn't the type to back down or accept any sort of bullshit. … Okay, she didn't say that exact phrase, that was more Ivy Martin, but still. My mother was a woman who had it all perfectly balanced. She had the ability to hold her ground and her humanity, something many failed to do, myself included.
I just hope that Duke Caspian sees my mother in me, and not some overgrown child trying to put on an airs.
"Well," Duke Caspian says, stepping out of his carriage, eyes sweeping over our home. I don't need to be well versed in Caspian to know he's thinking, his eyes showcasing his true feelings. Absolute disgust and disappoint, of course. he can't imagine his precious daughter living in a place like this, something so beneath her. If only he knew how much she loved it here. "To think, you live in a place like this."
"Yep, welcome to the Pryde household!" Anzu barks in appreciation and Vienne neighs, both co-signing and welcoming our guest. Even my father smiles gently at my side. It may not be much to others, but it's everything to us. "Shall I give you a tour?"
He turns his face at the suggestion. "To see what exactly?"
"The rest of our home." I almost snicker, having a difficult time remaining serious. "Don't you want to see firsthand the home that belongs to your daughter?"
Belongs, present tense because even if she's gone, this is still her home. That will never change.
Duke Caspian is silent and stares at me, though I wonder if he truly sees me. Or is it that he sees my mother, a version of her that only he knows. "Hm, I would rather stay out here, thank you." He makes it clear by standing his ground. "What is your answer, Sorren?"
I frown, of course, straight to business. "I have it." I lie with faux confidence. "But I have some questions for you. Just out of curiosity. What would my life look like if I were to live with you?"
He sighs deeply as he answers. "If you were to live with me, you would have the opportunity to pursue anything you want, though, while having in mind that you will take over as the next Caspian head. You'll receive a proper education from tutors that I will hand select and if you are your mother's daughter…. I'm sure you have a pension for welding a sword and magic, so we'll find the best knight to act as your teacher," he says, twisting his monstrance between two of his fingers. "You'll be treated with clothes, books, you name it. All will be given to you. You are a Caspian, blessed by the dragon guardian himself, you were born to be treated like royalty. Not to be living here like a commoner. I will give you the life you deserve."
I won't deny the temptation of an almost perfect and secure future, it's all I ever wanted in my past life. To be happy, not overworked, and comfortable in my own skin. That's all I ever wanted and if I was still Ivy Martin, I know for sure that I would've easily taken to the offer. However, I'm no longer Ivy, I'm Sorren Pryde. I was born in a world vastly different from the my previous one. In this world, I was born into a poor family between a hunter and a researcher. We didn't have a lot, still don't, and yet… I love it. This little life is perfect for me.
"That sounds amazing," I say. "Like the perfect life. I bet mother loved it."
There's a shift in his entire demeanor. "Not enough to stay apparently."
Well. He got me there.
My mother did leave behind her cushy life to be with my father, though, I do wonder if that was the only reason why she left everything behind. Don't get me wrong, it's obvious that my parents loved each other, anyone with eyes can see that. It's just a bit strange that she left behind a life of security and success for all of… this. If she really wanted to, she could've done everything in her power to convince Duke Caspian-- her father-- to change his mind regarding my father. It would've been beneficial for everyone involved.
"My apologies, Duke Caspian," my father says, squeezing himself into the conversation. It's also the first time that the Duke has really looked at him and it's obvious that he doesn't want to. "While it's true that my wife did leave behind her previous life with me, it doesn't mean that she hated it. If anything, she loved it and would always tell me stories of her childhood. She told me of how beautiful the estate was, of her tutors who were nothing but supportive of her, of the knights who both helped and trained her, of her mother's garden, and even of you, sir. She loved it all."
Something flashes in Duke Caspian's eyes, an emotion that I'm fairly familiar with. The sense of longing that I sometimes see in my father's own eyes on the day of my mother's death anniversary. "So you say, but that still doesn't change the fact that she left," he says, bitterly. "Unless you can explain why she left, as you are her husband, then please. Enlighten me."
The way he says husband makes my skin crawl, little sparks shooting from my fingertips. It's obvious that the Duke still see my parents' marriage as a sham and abnormal, though, I'm sure if it's because of my father's lack of title or his blindness— if anything, it could be both.
However, despite the Duke's obvious disdain, my father does not waver. He doesn't sway or fidget, doesn't stutter, and doesn't let the Duke get to him. My father stands with nothing but pride and, well, love. For my mother and their marriage.
"Other than the fact that you were against our marriage?" My father says and I have to bite back a snort that tries to slip out. Duke Caspian looks furious but says nothing else. "Well, my wife dreamed of freedom. She wanted to be free from the world of royals and nobles, she wanted to explore and see the world without having to worry about who she is and what she represents. But… she was too afraid of telling you that so… she left."
"That makes no sense," Duke Caspian says. "If she wanted to be free and explore, I would've granted her that wish and given her a place to stay away from the other nobles."
My father offers the man a pitiful smile. "And that's exactly why she left. She didn't want to rely on her father, she wanted to be her own person and do things herself."
"Even so, I am her father. It is my sole responsibility to take care of my daughter, no matter how old she gets."
My father reaches for my hand and squeezes it tightly. "And I understand you, sir."
I can't help but to look at the two men, two fathers, who share a mutual understanding of their responsibility as parents. Of wanting to care for their daughters even as they turn into adults and wish for more— a strange thing to hear about my mother. To think, that just like her, I too crave to explore the world and what it offers. Though, while she left her father behind to see the world, I wish to explore with mine. He's the first father of mine to truly care and love me, leaving him behind would break my heart more than it would break his. I can't imagine throwing away a parent who loves me wholeheartedly, I just can't do it.
That's when it hits me.
"Duke Caspian." Everyone turns to look at me, even Anzu's little ears perk up. Gods, why didn't I think fo this before! "Are you ready to hear my answer?"
Duke Caspian's eyes twinkle as he looks at me, happy to finally get what he's been waiting for. "Yes, since I came here to get your response," he says. "Tell me, what have you decided on?"
I look between Duke Caspian and my father, taking in the two generations of father's, both who love(d) their daughters in different ways. "I'll go with you."
His entire demeanor brightens and I try my hardest to ignore my father's reaction. "You will!" Duke Caspian says, gesturing for one of his knights. "Perfect, then let's start getting your baggage. Better yet, forget your baggage, we'll buy you new clothes and belongings. Whatever you want, we'll provide it—"
"But that's not all," I say, cutting him short. However, I do make note of what he said. I'll most likely keep all my belongings, but to know that I could throw everything away and get new things… does sound appealing. "I'll only go if you grant this one thing for me."
He quirks an eyebrow, looking at one of his knights, before looking back at me. "Fine. What do you want?"
"For my father to come with us."
"Pardon?"
"W-what?"
Duke Caspian's entire demeanor darkens as he scowls, his eyes glaring daggers into my father's soul. "Was this your idea? For her to bring you?"
My father shakes his head, his hands trembling just a tad. "N-no." He sputters, trying to ground himself. "I-I would n-never—"
"I can hardly believe that—"
"Stop it!" I shout, stepping forward to protect my father from the Duke's gaze and sharp words. "It wasn't his idea, it was mine. I'll only go with you if you let my father live with us. And not in the servants quarters, I want him to have his own proper room and the opportunity to continue with his research."
Duke Caspian gives me a long and hard look as he tries to piece together my plan. From his expression it's obvious that he can't seem to understand me. He finally gives up as he shakes his head. "Why in the world do you want him to come with us?"
"Because he's my father and I can't leave him behind," I say, voice and face softening. While I'm not a fan of my grandfather, I can tell that he loves my mother despite everything. The same way I only have my father, she was the same way. My grandfather raised her on his own and loved her dearly, she was his whole world, and probably still is even after her death. It must've been difficult for my mother to choose between her love for her family and her love for her soulmate. Perhaps, if she hadn't given up, she would've been able to change my grandfather's mind and have him accept my father sooner in life. Maybe then we would've lived as a family, something my mother would've wanted. And as her daughter, it's my job to grant her wishes. "The three of us only have each other, we're a family and we need to start acting and living as one… For my mother. I'm sure she would want us to do this."
Both men are silent, their own expressions softening (my father's expression saddening more than anyone else's) at the thought of my mother. Their love for her may be different but it was still love. Love for one's daughter, for one's wife, and for one's mother. If not for ourselves shouldn't we do this for her?
"… Is that what you truly want?" Duke Caspian asks, slowly looking up at me. It's the first time that his red eyes don't burn with anger or annoyance, instead, it's calming and warm. The same as my mother's eyes whenever she spoke to me.
I nod. "Yes, it is."
With a deep sigh, Duke Caspian pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering to himself. I worry that he's going to reject my offer and to leave, not caring to look back at us and my mother's wishes. It's not until he gazes at us that he says, "Then so be it. A week from now, we'll come and pick both of you up. Pack whatever you deem important."
I smile brightly at Duke Caspian before looking at my father. He too is looking at the Duke, though, he cries. Tears running down his cheeks. I wonder what he's feeling. Happy, grateful, overwhelmed--I'll never know and I don't push to ask. Instead, I grab hold of my father's hand and squeeze tightly, turning back to the Duke. "Thank you so much. For granting my wish."
The Duke waves me away before landing his gaze onto my father. "And you, stop all that crying," he says, huffing and puffing. "There is no need for you to cry."
"I'm sorry." My father sniffles, gently rubbing away the tears. It doesn't work as more continue to fall. "I-I'm just grateful," he says. "We both are."
I don't think he means in that we, but instead my mother. Even my own eyes start to swell with tears at the thought of her being grateful and possibly even proud at my decision. Though, I do my best to hide said tears. We may be moving in with my grandfather, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to cry and open up to him.
The Duke stares at my father a bit longer before stiffly nodding. "Right. Of course." He understands as well. "Well, we should be off--"
"Wait!" I say, everyone blinking and looking at me. "You're just going to leave? But you just got here."
"I only came to hear your answer." And to take me away had I said yes.
"Come on, that's a waste of--" gas, I almost say as if he came here in a car. Automobiles aren't common in this country, the most we have is a train, but that's on the west side. Most people get around by foot, carriage, or a magical beast. For my grandfather and his men, they came here in a carriage and horses. "-- Energy. Your horses need to rest." Taking a step to the side, I gesture to our home. "I was being sincere when I said I wanted to give you a tour. And possibly some tea."
He's silent once again, fully taking me in, trying to figure out my plan. There is no plan, just a granddaughter wanting to spend time with her grandfather. "... Alright," he says. "Let me see this home of yours."
I'm beaming, basking in another small victory against Duke Caspian himself. Opening the door, I gesture for the men to all walk inside. "Then please, come inside and make yourself at home."
. . .
"S-so you're r-really leaving?" Niya asks, her eyes red from the news. The news regarding our move traveled fast throughout the town, everyone telling me how happy they are for us and how much they'll miss us. Mrs. Bean was excited and said that she'll prepare a going away gift for us, even my hunting team said that the night before we leave, that they'll take me drinking with them. While most of the townspeople were excited for us, there were the few who were heartbroken by the news. Aka the children. "B-but why? C-can't you g-guys just s-stay here?"
The three of them had made their way to my home and into my room. It's my last night in town and with knowing that, the three of them decided on having a sleepover at my home. I didn't tell them no, if anything, I was delighted when they made the decision. If there was anyone I had to spend my last night with, I would hope it was with the three of them. However, they would have to watch me pack my last bit of belongings since I decided to wait until the final night to finish everything. Had this habit as Ivy Martin and now it's still with me as Sorren Pryde.
"Because I'm now the future duchess of the Caspian household," I say, folding more dingy browns pants into one of my luggage. "And as the future duchess, I need to live on the Caspian estate and learn directly from my grandfather." And attempt to live as a family, for my mother's sake. Though, I'm not exactly sure if I want to tell the children that. The only person who knows this, outside of my father and the Duke, is Mrs. Bean, and that's only because I trust that woman more than others.
"Does this mean that you're rich?" Louis asks, eyes growing wide at the idea of my future riches. "Doesn't that mean you're a princess!"
Niya shakes her head. "N-no, she's a d-duchess! That's different from a princess."
"Oh." I don't think he understands, but Louis nods as if he does. I smile endearingly in his direction.
"Will you come back back to visit?" Louis asks. It's the first time that he has asked me a question that I'm unable to answer.
The answer should be yes, I'll still visit and see everyone. How can I say goodbye to my home and family? While I may not be able to bare myself fully to the village, they're the only group of individuals who truly know and understand me. To leave and never see them again, it would be like saying goodbye to a part of myself. At the same time, I'm unaware of the Duke's plans with me. Would he keep me busy, throwing me at tutors and possible knight training? Would he keep me locked inside his home, forbidding me from ever returning to the village? Claiming that the future duchess of the Caspian household shouldn't associate with commoners. It was already difficult to convince the Duke to let my father come with, I can't imagine trying to get him to allow me to come back.
"I'll surely try." Is what I decide on. This answer should suffice! "But I might be busy, so it'll take some time before I come back."
"D-do you promise?" Asks Niya.
I make a face. That damn word, I was trying so hard to avoid it! Promises mean the world to children, specifically these three. I have made many promises to them, some that I've kept, others that I've broken. Unfortunately, the children seem very keen to remember said broken promises, more than the ones that I've kept. I'm sure that at my funeral, instead of saying their farewells to me, the three will tell my dead body of all the promises that I've broken.
So it would be wise to tell them that I wouldn't be able to keep their promise. Just be honest with them, that's what I want to do. I'm an adult, aren't I? However, as I turn to tell them this, I make the mistake of seeing their hopeful expressions. Eyes big, twinkling brightly in my dimly lit room. Eyes that scream 'you promise?' loudly despite none of us saying a word. Oh no.
"Yes, I promise." Pathetic!
Nonetheless, the children cheer, happy to know that I will be back. Their excitement fuels me with happiness and hope. Hope that the Duke will let me visit, that he'll understand that I can't say goodbye to everyone forever.
"Children." Calls my father. "Dinner is ready!"
"Alright, let's go and eat." I stand to my feet. I'm not quite finished, but dinner is calling and I need some time away from my clothes (and this conversation). "Then afterwards, we'll go out and play, alright?"
The three nod and start their descend to the first floor, voicing their excitement over dinner and playing outside. I follow behind them, smiling.
Tonight's dinner is louder than usual. It's usually father and I eating, the two of us talking about our day or whatever topic is on our minds. Though, the two of us are quiet individuals, our voices don't seem to carry like the children's. Nor are we as entertaining as them. Louis tells us of his dream of becoming a knight, he even puts on a show of his swordsmanship. Lots of ha's and ho's that causes the whole table to erupt with laughter. Niya who wants to study magic, that the subject has always interested her. She speaks of the greatest magician of our time and how she hopes to become the same way when she's an old woman like Mrs. Bean. Then there's Vaughn who writes about living a life of leisure next to the sea.
"When I get my home by the sea, you all can come and visit." He writes.
"Wouldn't that be bad for Sorren?" asks Louis. "She's a fire user, being around so much water might make her ill." The boy giggles at his own remark.
I roll my eyes. "Careful, or else I'll set your favorite jacket on fire." To prove my point, I start a small fire on the tip of my pointer finger and aimed it towards him. He shrieks in response and we all laugh.
After eating and playing outside, the children are sound asleep on my bed. With their bellies full and skin scrubbed clean of dirt and sweat, they snore loudly without a care in the world. I don't even try to wake them, not wanting to ruin their peace. I'll sleep on the floor when I'm ready to say goodbye to the day. Too much is still on my mind, so I go downstairs and out the door to enjoy the quiet night.
Only I see that I'm not the only one with that in mind.
"Sorren," my father says, knowing that it's me. He has memorized the sound of my footsteps over the years. To think he would have to memorize new footsteps and a new home larger than ours. I bite my bottom lip, wondering if I made the wrong decision for us. "Are you here to look at the moon again?"
Back as Ivy, I've always loved the moon. A shocker, a lesbian who's in love with the moon! She was always my first love, both in my previous life and this current one. When I lost both of my mothers, it was the moon who gently lulled me to sleep after hours of crying. It was the moon who stayed with me when I would suddenly awaken in the middle of the night, reassuring me that I'm alright. She who kissed my skin during my late night hunting sessions. If it was possible, I would marry the moon and be entirely devoted to her. It was my father who told me once, during a night just like this one many years ago, of a small group of people who devote their lives to the moon who is said to be a goddess. The religious group lives on a mountain, somewhere that allows them to be closer to their goddess. They're probably the realest group of people here and I don't even know them personally.
"Of course." I answer, sitting beside him. "You?"
He hums, a tune that mixes beautifully with the screams of cicadas and beetles. "Just enjoying my last night here."
"Ah," I say. There's a moment of silence as I take in our surroundings. Our little doorstep, the flowerbeds that we've kept alive even after mother's passing, and even Vienne's stable that sits to the side. Never have I imagined that I would leave this place, much less to go somewhere that's far... better than this. "Are you excited? To leave?" To say goodbye to our home?
My father chuckles. "More frightened than excited. I never imagined that I would be living with my father-in-law." The phrase 'father-in-law' sounds foreign and I'm sure it felt strange on his tongue. "Though, I would have wanted to live there with your mother."
"I know. I think we all would've wanted that." Me, my father, and even the Duke. We all miss my mother and if she were here, perhaps this change would be bearable and less frightening. "I will say that I am curious to see where she grew up. To see the life of a former duchess."
This makes my father smile which brings a small one to my face. "From what your mother told me, life was not easy for her. Yes, she grew up with money and her father doted on her dearly, but the people and the society she grew up in... killed her each day. Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Honestly? No, I'm not." My mother was born and raised as a noble, and yet she had difficulties living among them. I already know that I'm going to deal with much worst. "But I'll be fine. I'm a Pryde and a Caspian." I knock my shoulder against his, my father chuckling lightly. "I got this."
"No," he says. "We got this."
I blink before my lips twirl upwards, nodding to what he says. My father is right, I'm not doing this alone. I'm not the only one moving away and integrating into a new environment, he'll be at my side, taking on the insufferable aristocrats and their judgement with me. "Right, we got this," I say, leaning my head on his shoulder and enjoying our last night like this together.
. . .
When I was living as Ivy, I moved out of my dad's house when I was eighteen years old, a sixteen year old Iris trailing behind me. The two of us left with two boxes each filled with clothes and some of our mom's old stuff. The process was quick and anticlimactic. Dad was at work and our stepmom purposely took a shower as we were walking out the door. Neither of them cared nor did we. None of our neighbors cared to see us off, except an older Chinese woman, but that was because she was leaving her house at the same time as us. It was my first and last time ever speaking with her.
Moving out was always something that I dreamed of and even thought that dad would try to convince us to stay. So when the day finally came... I felt so disappointed and defeated. That was it? No one cared enough to tell me bye or that they'll miss me? I couldn't tell anyone, but my heart broke for the first time in that life.
So imagine my surprise when people showed up in front of the Pryde house as we're to leave. Granted, I figured that this would happen, but I was expecting the usual bunch. There's Mrs. Bean who shows up with her husband, Mr. Bean, who stays close to his wife especially as she tells off a Caspian knight for his rough treatment towards Vienne. Francis, Tomas, and Myles stand off to the side, glaring at the knights in attempt to intimidate them, but it doesn't really work because of their red eyes and sniffling noses. Louis, Niya, and Vaughn arrive with Niya's mother, but the three of them cling to me as if they're wild koalas, refusing to let me go until it's time for our departure. Even some of my father's drinking friends show up, gently patting his back and telling my father that he has to come back soon to have a couple of drinks with them. He only laughs and nods, agreeing to their request.
See, I was expecting this group. Small and intimate, that's it. Not our entire village to come and see us off.
The last time we had this amount of people here was after my mother's funeral, and that was over thirteen years ago. I can pinpoint everyone who is here. Old schoolmates, my former teachers, the butcher, the barkeep, Louis' schoolmates, the village leader, and more are standing outside our home! I worry that with all these bodies around, it'll make it difficult for the carriage to pull away, or worst, to keep Vienne and Anzu calm as we attempt to leave.
I already know who's at fault for this, my eyes falling on the older woman who grumbles and groans to her husband about my family's knights. Mrs. Bean talks to everyone, always there as a shoulder to cry on and a bank for all information regarding each villager. It's a wonder that she hasn't spread around what she has learned on all of us, but she keeps her lips sealed unless told otherwise. She's the second most trusted figure in this village and I'm sure if she truly wanted the position, she would be the village leader. She must've rounded everyone up and brought them here, spreading the news of our departure. What a woman she is. I'm going to miss her so much.
"Looks like you're popular." Comes an unfamiliar voice. "Reminds me of your mother. She was also well liked during her early years."
I turn around-- or at least, the best I can with three children clinging to me-- to look at the person speaking. Standing before us is one of the Caspian knights, Sir Pharo. I remember him being with my grandfather the first time they arrived. He was one of the calmer knights, though, I learned today it's not because he's a calm individual, he's just lazy and doesn't care. He has tan skin, lighter than mine, but still darker than the other knights. He has dark red hair that sits messily on his shoulders and a patchy beard that takes away from his handsomeness. I'm sure there are women in this world who would find such a lazy and messy appearance attractive, but I find it appalling. To think, the men in all worlds don't care to try to look good, not when women willingly throw themselves at their feet. I wished it was that easy for me.
"You knew my mother?" I ask.
Sir Pharo nods as he scratches his chin. "We were classmates," he says. "She was always surrounded by people and very loved. Very different from the Duke."
I hum, but don't ask anymore questions. Luckily I don't have to as Louis stares up at Sir Pharo with stars in his eyes. "You're a knight."
Sir Pharo blinks before he stares back. "Uh... I am."
"Is it fun? Being a knight."
I cough to mask a laugh that tries to break free, just as Sir Pharo snorts, not caring to hide his amusement from a child. Only would a child ask if it's fun being a knight. I'm curious to see what our resident knight is going to say as an answer. "I would say it is," he says. "But it's also a tough job, not anyone can be a knight." Sir Pharo then squats down, now at eye level with all three children. Niya and Vaughn clings tighter to my leg as Louis lets go, listening closely to the older man and the information he holds. "Do you want to become a knight?"
"Yes, sir!"
"Because it's fun?"
Louis shakes his head. "I want to protect everyone."
This makes Sir Pharo smile gently as he tousles the loose brown curls on Louis' head. "That's a good reason. I'm sure you'll become a fantastic knight and maybe under the Caspian family. That way you can be with the duchess when she's old and frail."
"Excuse you," I say, bringing Sir Pharo's eyes back to mine. "Old, yes, but frail? Absolutely not." My grandfather is an old man, but there's nothing frail about him. I'm sure that when I reach his age, I'll be exactly like him. "But I will still need a trusted knight like Louis at my side. We'll just work together, that's all."
At that, Louis beams and nods proudly, arms crossed over his chest with pride and certainty of his future. "That's right! Sorren is strong, but we're stronger together."
"Y-yeah!" Pipes Niya, standing strong like Louis, but still clinging to my leg. "When I'm older, I-I'll also be at S-Sorren's side." Vaughn nods, agreeing with her and staking his claim to be at my side. Though, hopefully not by giving up his life of serenity to be with me.
Even so, I can't help but to beam greatly at their declarations. To be loved and trusted by children so young is a blessing and I'm honored to be blessed like this.
Sir Pharo sees this too, nodding along to the children's dedication. "I see," he says, then he looks at me. "Looks like I don't worry about our future duchess. Seems that you'll be well protected when you're an old woman."
"Sir." Comes a new voice. "We're ready to depart whenever you are."
We all shift to look at the new person speaking. It's one of the knights that came with Sir Pharo, the sole lady knight who stood proudly at his side. When I first saw her, I was stunned by her beauty. She has pale skin and black hair that cascades down her shoulders in soft waves and bangs that almost hides her eyes. However, when she looked at me when they first arrived, I took notice of those beautiful forest green eyes, engraining them into my memory. I wasn't expecting to see someone so utterly beautiful apart of my grandfather's team of knights, just more rude older men who look down at me. With this lady knight, however, she didn't do that. She looked at me with respected, while I wanted nothing more than to undress and make her mine.
Though, I guess before all that, I would need to learn her name.
"Alright," Sir Pharo says, turning back to me. "Shall we?"
We do one final round of goodbyes, quickly hugging and thanking everyone. When I told my hunting group goodbye, the three of them burst into tears, rushing me into a group hug that leaves me laughing and almost breathless. The children are crying when I tell them that it's time for me to go and they almost don't let go. It takes Niya's mother and Frances to pull them away, the three crying louder, faces soiled from tears and snot. I have to look away or else I'll cry myself. I really do love the three of them.
Sir Pharo holds the carriage door open for us. Anzu jumps inside first and my father follows behind him. I almost step inside until someone shouts my name. Turning around, I'm met with Mrs. Bean who hugs a dark blue box close to her body, eyes red from crying and a deep frown on her face. "Mrs. Bean!" I say. "I was looking for you!"
"I'm sorry dear, I was waiting for Gerald to grab your gift, but he got distracted by his friends." I look behind her at Mr. Bean who winces with a sheepish smile.
"You got me a gift?" I ask, not entirely surprised. It wouldn't be Mrs. Bean if she didn't have anything prepared for someone. "You know that you didn't have to do that."
"I know that," she says with a sniffle. "But I wanted to because... because you deserve it. Watching you grow into the woman you are has been a blessing. I never had a chance to have my own children, so I always saw your mother and father as my own. And you as my granddaughter." Tears start to well up in the corner of her eyes, one even streams down her cheek, but she continues, not allowing her sadness to stop or distract her. "You may be rude, brash, stubborn, and ill mannered, but you are still kind, understanding, and loving. Despite knowing how your grandfather treated your mother and father, you still decided to give him a second chance. Only someone so beautiful and kind could do that."
My heart aches, her words hitting me more than I would like to admit, but I say nothing. Allowing Mrs. Bean the chance to continue and to stop myself from getting too emotional. "I told those knights to give your grandfather a message. If he does anything to hurt the two of you, that I will come after him. I don't care if he's a duke, that means nothing to me." A few people laugh and even Sir Pharo chuckles, though I take her words seriously. Mrs. Bean means everything she has to say, no one should laugh or take her words lightly. "Though, I understand that he'll try to spoil you with his riches and I may not have the money to give you something beautiful, or the skillsets like other designers, but... I know what you like and what makes you happy." She pushes the box into my arms. "And this, my dear, will make you happy."
I blink, not knowing what to say, but I know exactly what to do. I open the box, not caring to wait 'till later to see what's inside, and what I see makes my heart skip a beat. "Y-you're giving this to me?"
Mrs. Bean smiles and nods. "Of course! You're a duchess, you deserve something beautiful."
It's the dress that I saw before. The same beautiful dress that Mrs. Bean said she imagined the crown princess to wear. She's giving it to me. "Why would you waste something like this on someone like me?"
"I'm not wasting it," she says. "A beautiful dress deserves to be worn by a beautiful woman."
Tears begin to well up in my eyes as I tightly clutch onto the box. I want to pull the dress out, to get a better look at it, but I'm afraid that I'll drop it because of how shaky my hands are. "Thank you." I squeak out, finally finding the words to speak. "Thank you so much."
Mrs. Bean rushes forward, pulling me into a tight hug. "You're so welcome, my dear. I love you so much."
That's when the tears start to fall.
Mrs. Bean has to help me put the top onto the box and Sir Pharo helps me into the carriage where my father holds me tightly as I sob. I never thought that I would ever be loved like this, but I'm entirely grateful to know how blessed I am.