The old inn hummed with a boisterous symphony of life. A cacophony of chattering voices swelled and receded, punctuated by the sharp, insistent clink of utensils against ceramic plates as peak hours roared to life. Yet, amidst the vibrant chaos, four men sat at a corner table, a pocket of quiet. They ate in companionable silence, though Michio, usually the heartiest eater, merely picked at his food.
U-ri noticed his subdued behavior. "Usually, you eat more than us. What's wrong with you?"
Michio put down a chicken leg on his plate, a thoughtful frown on his face. "I don't like it when someone loses their temper with me, especially if that person is someone, I have to face every day."
Abrafo chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. "Don't worry, Hajime isn't the kind of person who holds grudges. He may just be someone who likes to uphold justice. He probably hadn't seen a scene like that before, so it made him feel very sad. It may also be because it reminded him of his past with the Tenth King."
Michio shook his head. "That doesn't seem right. Hajime is probably much older than he lets on, because he doesn't seem to know anything about the Tenth King."
"No matter how old he is, he's not the kind of person who will hold grudges against you," Abrafo reassured him.
U-ri added, "Besides, as far as I know, you didn't say anything truly offensive to him. Maybe there are things Hajime can't tell us. Remember, he was the last mage of his kind; there may be things he's seen that we haven't."
Michio looked at his three companions, a wry smile touching his lips. "Why doesn't talking to you three increase the guilt in my heart? It sounds like I'm the one who has no clue how to comfort others."
Abrafo looked at Michio, then burst out laughing. "That's because you are a guilty monk!"
Michio frowned playfully. "Hey! Don't speak until you have something nice to say."
"Let's finish eating," Yul interjected, his voice calm and reassuring. "I'll talk to him. I'm sure there are things Hajime doesn't want to tell us, and we have to respect his decision." He smiled warmly at the others. "I'm sure when he's ready to tell us, he'll tell us."
Abrafo grabbed another piece of meat, his mouth already full. "Like Yul said, Hajime will tell us when he's ready." He took a hearty bite.
After the four of them finished eating, the waiter brought another steaming bowl of noodles and placed it on the table. Yul took the bowl. "I'm going to see Hajime. You three go to rest. Tomorrow, let's ask if anyone knows about No Man's Land."
"Great idea," U-ri agreed, stretching. "Let's spread out tomorrow and spend the day collecting supplies and directions."
Yul picked up the bowl and headed towards Hajime's room, asking a waiter for directions.
Yul stood outside Hajime's room, the bowl of noodles steaming gently in his hands. He wanted to understand what Hajime was thinking, what silent battles he was fighting. He had witnessed Hajime's nightmare, but he had no clue what haunted his new companion. He had learned from conversations with U-ri that people often suffered nightmares from haunting trauma. He thought carefully about what he needed to say to Hajime to prevent Hajime's wounds from opening anew.
Yul knocked lightly on the door, but there was no sound from within. He knocked again, a little harder this time, and the door creaked open. He walked into the room, gently closing the door behind him. He found Hajime lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, his legs crossed and his hands tucked under his head. Yul sat at the small table and placed the bowl of noodles carefully upon it.
"I brought you a bowl of noodles," Yul said, his voice soft.
Hajime merely gave an annoyed "Hmm…" without turning his head.
"Michio thinks you have a problem with him," Yul continued, undeterred.
Hajime slowly got up, swinging his legs to the side of the bed and planting his feet on the floor. "I have nothing against him," he said, finally looking at Yul. "Why does he think so?"
"Unfortunately, your behavior just now showed him that you were a little angry at what he said to you earlier this afternoon," Yul explained gently. "We just talked downstairs. If he did anything to offend you, he sincerely wants to apologize."
Hajime stood up and walked to the table. He took a seat on the stool across from Yul and began to eat the noodles Yul had brought him, slurping them quietly. As he ate, he said, "Maybe it's me who should apologize for my stupidity. It's not him, it's my fault." He sucked in the last noodle strand, then picked up the bowl and began to drink the broth directly from it.
"We don't know when this journey will end because there is no fixed date," Yul said, his gaze steady on Hajime. "Hajime, I don't know what hardships you have experienced in the past, but I want you to know that at this moment with us, no matter what happens in the future, I hope you believe that we will not abandon you. And we also believe that you will not abandon us. I know that as the last mage of your kind, you must have suffered a lot, but from now on, I will help you carry half of your burden, and you will have to help me carry half of mine."
Hajime set the empty bowl on the table with a sigh. "Ah... I didn't expect you to be so talkative." He looked at Yul's robe, noticing a small tear. He remembered the fight in Bell Forest, when Yul and Abrafo had been pushed back. "Take off your robe."
"Why?" Yul asked, surprised by the sudden request.
"I will not rape you," Hajime said, a hint of exasperation in his voice. "Your robe is torn." He pointed to Yul's left shoulder.
Yul looked down at the tear. "Can you sew?"
"I've been sewing since I was a kid," Hajime explained, a distant look in his eyes. "I didn't have much stuff when I was little. My mom wouldn't buy me new clothes, so I had to learn how to mend." He got up and went to his bed, retrieving a small bag. He unwrapped it, taking out a pair of small scissors, a coil of black thread, and a needle. "Take it off."
Yul took off his inner robe and handed it to Hajime. "You talked about your mother, but what about your father?"
"He has a new family, and he lives with them. We haven't spoken since I was six years old," Hajime said, his fingers already working on the tear. As he spoke, he suddenly remembered the letters he had received before he died. "But he's dead now."
Yul stared at Hajime, a puzzled expression on his face. "You told me the other day that your father committed suicide because he was forced to marry another woman."
Hajime's hands stilled. He suddenly remembered that the story he had told Yul that night was the story of the body he currently possessed, not his own. He cleared his throat, trying to sound casual. "Uh… uh… that's another story of me… from another time."
"There are two stories of you?" Yul asked suspiciously, his gaze sharpening.
"Well, I'm just saying I don't want to talk about myself," Hajime deflected, focusing intently on the mend.
"So, you didn't tell me the truth the other day?" Yul pressed, his voice firm.
Hajime didn't look at Yul, concentrating on his needlework. "I didn't lie to you; I'm telling the truth about the other's story. Don't ask me again, no matter how many times you ask, I won't tell you." He finally looked up, his eyes pleading. "Look, I'm trying to forget the past. You said it yourself, the past doesn't matter, but now, at this moment, I should trust you. Please stop pushing me on this issue. When I decided to come to the palace, I told myself that I should leave the old life behind, find a new sun in another universe, and start a new life."
Yul sighed, his expression softening. "Okay, let's not talk about the past then."
Hajime picked up the scissors, snipping the thread. He folded Yul's freshly mended robe and set it carefully on the table. "So, what are you four going to do tomorrow?" he asked, changing the subject.
"We're going to ask around, see if anyone has heard of No Man's Land, and gather some supplies," Yul explained.
Hajime stood up. "You're going to sleep here tonight, right?"
"I think so," Yul replied.
Hajime and Yul lay side by side on the bed, under the same blanket. Hajime turned to look at Yul. Although the candlelight in the room was dim, he could still see Yul's face clearly in the soft glow. "Have you ever loved someone before?" Hajime asked, his voice quiet.
"There's a girl I like at home," Yul admitted softly.
Hajime smiled faintly. "Does she like you?"
"She came to me and confessed," Yul said.
"After she confessed to you, did you confess to her?" Hajime probed gently.
"No," Yul said simply. "She told me she liked me, and I thanked her for liking me."
"I bet you miss her a lot," Hajime murmured, a hint of melancholy in his tone.
"It's normal to miss the people you know," Yul replied, shrugging slightly.
"It's not that kind of miss," Hajime corrected.
"What kind of miss are you referring to?" Yul asked, curiosity in his voice.
Hajime paused, searching for the right words. "The kind of miss that makes your heart ache to see them. When you fall asleep, you think about that person. If you see something she likes, you miss her. A deep miss or longing, a true yearning."
"No," Yul said, a hint of surprise in his voice. He turned his head, looking directly at Hajime. "You? Do you have someone that you miss like that?"
Hajime snorted, a bitter sound. "Well... I hope I will never feel that way again."
"So why are you looking for love if you already have someone you love?" Yul asked, his brow furrowed.
Hajime's heart sank. He had forgotten the lie he told Yul earlier. He quickly pivoted. "That's because that person is not my true love. Remember when I told you that the beautiful goddess put a curse on me? I need to find my true love to break that curse."
A long silence settled between Hajime and Yul. Both of them came to their senses, the implications of Hajime's earlier statement about being gay, and now this "curse," circling in their minds.
Hajime suddenly broke the silence. "Tomorrow morning, I will apologize to Michio to clear up the misunderstanding between us."
"That's very wise of you," Yul said, his voice thoughtful.
Hajime turned and looked at him, his gaze intense in the dim light. "Yul, earlier you asked me if I was pretending to be happy, or if I was truly happy. To be honest, I wasn't pretending to be happy. I'm glad to see tears streaming down your eyes when you thought I was dying. The reason is, it was the first time in my life that someone cried for me. Goodnight." He then turned to face the wall, closing his eyes, leaving Yul with that revelation.
Standing in front of the Gate to No Man's Land, Avalokitesvara stood there looking at the three floating doors, her gaze serene, observing the intricate, ancient decorations carved into the stone gate. The Goddess of Beauty materialized beside her, her expression one of exasperated impatience.
"You have the ability to bring those five people here, and even open the gate for them," the Goddess of Beauty chided, "but you choose not to do so. What are you thinking?"
Avalokitesvara smiled gently at the Goddess of Beauty. "They want the white dragon tail; they must find the keys to unlock the gate and their own way to the Gate of No Man's Land."