Flipping through the books and flooding my mind with numbers, logistics, trends and charts so that the constant whispers of lust that were now always present were drowned out was actually sort of cathartic... in an odd way.
It felt the same as when I had been working with Christina not so long ago; I could tell that those whispers were still there, I understood that I actually liked them, but I was also so comfortable with the sheer amount of 'work' that I was forcing upon myself.
It felt snug being in this office with all these ledgers, and even though there was still that lingering scent of apple that reminded me about how there was a big cock waiting for me just outside I still didn't get too horny.
Keyword being 'too' right there, since the mere thought of Fenkar invading this space as well could definitely lead to me getting hornier than I had ever been; just imagining her barging in, ripping my clothes off and ravaging me on this small table almost made me cum...
But just as quickly as that rush of arousal flushed through my entire body it was gone just as swiftly, replaced by the cold logic and numbers that came from what I was trying to do here; run a business that needed to meet certain standards, quotas and obligations before it even started up.
All of that needed a clear mind, one that I had sharpened over the years and one that was clearer than crystal; whether it could stay clear was the issue now, and the emergence of a single person had it clouded over immediately.
Astra slid on into the office and took a seat opposite me, smiling like always and running her eyes over me like she could just undress me here and now; honestly she could, and I could feel my skin tingling wherever she looked, but that was besides the point.
"Believe it or not I'm not here specifically to have sex with you, Renna, though if you want I am definitely~ not going to say no to a quickie with my absurdly beautiful wife... No, I am here to discuss something sort of important..."
Clasping her hands and sitting back like she was a businesswoman about to lay down some ironclad negotiations was honestly adorable coming from her, but at the same time I knew that it was - in a way - going to be 'ironclad', just not in the way I was used to.
"You are - putting this the nicest way I possibly can - becoming a bit too willing to have sex with people, my love. I don't particularly think of that as a terrible thing since I love~ the idea of sharing you with someone, but... it does make me wonder if YOU think of it as a terrible thing."
Trying to keep this as a conversation and not turn it into sex was a bit difficult, but that was - I suppose, anyways - the point she was trying to make with me; I was getting quicker with offering myself to someone, and even if it was with my wife there shouldn't be this rapid, almost immediate desire to hand myself over.
Though that just made me question what I knew about relationships since to me one of the key ingredients was sexual compatibility and fulfilling those sexual needs; as much as I wanted to stop thinking about that time of my life forever it was my primary source of experience for these things, and the amount of times that the Queen and I had sex where one of us wasn't particularly in the mood was... definitely there.
"Now again, I don't think this is a horrible thing, but you did make it a point when we first got together that this was going to be a me and you sort of relationship. Shelur included but who can say no to top tier Orc dick becoming exclusive to us as well, right?"
I smiled wryly at that before focusing specifically on the beginning of what she said, which she expanded upon immediately by adding "You told me multiple times that it was just going to be 'us'. Here we are and it's us, Fenkar, Leonisa, Taura, Arani and sometimes someone random. Not really... 'us' anymore, is it?"
There was a small ember of anger that wanted to flare up, to fill me with that defensive heat as I argued that it was her fault I was becoming okay with spreading my legs for anyone that seemed handsome enough, but... she wasn't the one forcing my legs apart; I was doing that willingly.
"It... isn't just us anymore, no."
Conceding that hurt a little, but at the same time ignoring it would be worse; besides, it was the truth, and it was where we could start fresh and understand one another even more, though what that really meant I didn't know.
"Which is fine, and honestly I expected it, but since it has changed we should adapt ourselves to said change, no? To put it 'plainly', Renna, I am a whore and I do not care about that at all. Sex is my everything, and it will always be my everything. However, you are 'more' than that right now; you're a Duchess beloved by the people, a responsible and incredible Noble who keeps things straight in this city."
The 'insinuation' there that I was becoming a 'whore' was definitely another thing that poked that ember, but at the same time I understood this point as well; if anything the acceptance that Astra had at taking on the dirtier, 'lesser' label was what had me angry, but the certainty and lack of care when she said it was... telling.
It wasn't something said because she had resigned herself to that sort of life; it was acceptance that she lived and breathed sex every single day willingly, and that to her the answer to everything would always be related to her offering her body to someone else.
But for me... that wasn't really what I wanted, nor was it what I expected of myself... but these days it was easier to just sleep with Fenkar or Leonisa and get the things I wanted by submitting to them rather than sitting down and negotiating out a long contract that involved so much effort over so little gain.
I enjoyed that effort given but the results were what spoke to me the most, and knowing that the sex would feel that euphoric while I got exactly what I wanted was... it made me wonder why I had built myself up the hard way when I could have just thrown myself into every bed in the city to get the things I wanted.
All those deals with neighboring Queendoms, the deals between Nobles, all these treaties and agreements and concessions and everything else that took so many hours of my life... I could have just stripped naked, rode whoever's cock I needed to and gotten things done in half the time.
Maybe the same amount of time, but getting railed by some greedy, arrogant idiot who thought they were getting a deal because they got pussy and some money would definitely be worth it to me compared to the tooth and nail 'fighting' I had endured.
But... that wasn't who I was, and it wasn't who I wanted to be even now that I had been introduced to that kind of world... and yet it was now a part of me that grew with every single day that passed...