"Over time I started falling behind in terms of physical development. The initial growth was probably beginners' luck. Ekalabya was building muscles like crazy. A few times I even thought I would get kicked out of the group but Ek encouraged me to try different methods of exercise. Every time I failed he made sure I didn't start spiralling. It was also his idea to push me towards basketball. And I cannot be grateful enough for that. It was like a new road was paved for me. I am where I am because of him." He let out a heavy breath.
"Watching you today kinda motivated me to start working out in the gym after almost a year. But the very first setback plunged me back into those painful memories. Still there I was getting ahead of myself trying to show off."
"The fact that you tried to overcome your past is the proof of your actions. Some people can't even get there. It's unreasonable to expect to get over things with a snap of your finger." Olivia said.
Koushik could feel the confidence in her words like they were not a consolation but a belief that stem from experience.
"Still..." He lowered his eyes feeling conflicted.
Everything she said was true, he knew it too but he could not bring himself to believe in it no matter how hard he tried. He did not trust that he would get past his trauma and every little failure reinforced that idea. He wished he could handle his fears as calmly as Bikram or deal with them head on like Rishi but all he could manage was envy their qualities standing on the side.
"You look like a sad Bolognese right now." Olivia rested her chin on her hand.
"A what?" Koushik asked in confusion.
Olivia showed him a picture on her watch. A little white cute fluffy furry dog.
"You're calling me a dog?" Koushik sprang up.
Olivia nodded with utmost seriousness.
"How can you call me a dog?" Koushik gasped.
"Why can't I?" Olivia raised an eyebrow.
"Dogs are cute."
He wanted to ask if she was trying to insult him but he became speechless after hearing the next part of her answer.
'She compared me to a dog... But said dogs are cute... Does that mean...' his eyes widened and he blushed.
"Sick?" Olivia asked.
Koushik gave her a confused look.
"You're red." Olivia pointed at his face.
Koushik glared at her, "That's because of you."
"What did I do?" Olivia asked flatly.
"You... you called me a dog. I mean you called me... cute." Koushik felt exasperated.
'Is this really Olivia? Or an imposter! It must be the latter! She can't be calling me cute.'
"Did I?" Olivia asked.
Koushik felt like punching her but he recalled how strong she was and resisted the urge. He nodded.
Olivia thought for a while and said "I didn't call you cute. I said you look like a dog which is cute."
Olivia said it in such a serious manner that anyone would think they were talking about an important matter. Koushik could not decide between laughing and crying. Did her words not mean what he said? She called him a dog and she said a was dog cute so didn't that stand for he was cute?
He was wrong. In her eyes he indeed resembled a Bolognese because of his thick messy hair hanging over his upturned face. She also meant it when she said dogs were cute but that was to the response of him feeling insulted by her comment. According to Olivia, calling someone a dog should be anything but an insult.
Koushik felt like a series of equations passed through his head when he came to that conclusion.
"You must really love dogs to relate them to humans as usually people would use dogs as a form of insult rather than a form of compliment." He said.
"I do." Olivia looked straight into his eyes and nodded with such conviction.
Koushik was stunned for a moment. It was the first time Olivia said something about herself that did not require by her duty. It felt really private like he learnt something about her, not as the School Captain but just Olivia, his deskmate. He hoped it was the first step to getting to know her for real. At first he only wanted to get along with her but now he felt like she understood him in a way that even his bandmates did not.
"Do you always become serious when dogs are mentioned?" He smiled.
Olivia shrugged. She looked at Koushik's face out of the corner of her eyes. It was still a little red but he had stopped sniffling and the hoarseness was much better.
'He has finally calmed down.' Olivia felt relieved.
Right then her watch vibrated and a notification popped up. Seeing what it was Olivia clenched her hand.
'No. Why? When did this happen? Is it because of me? Again?'
Koushik saw her frown and craned his neck to see what got her so concerned.
Olivia felt him trying to peek at her watch and said grimly, "Someone took a video of you at the gym and has published it in the school social media."
"What?" Koushik jumped to his feet in panic.
Olivia showed him the site on her watch. It contained a video at the top with several hundred comments under it. Most of them were malicious comments directed not only towards Koushik but also Antariksha.
"So I really sullied our group's name? I should have known it was a bad idea to try doing something I failed to for months and that too publicly." He slumped on the ground dejectedly.
Olivia saw his eyes tearing up again.
"I'm sorry." She said softly.
Koushik looked at her in confusion.
"This may have happened because of me. I told off those guys at the gym for mocking you. This is probably them trying to spite me. I'm sorry for the unnecessary trouble. If I hadn't said anything this incident would have stopped at the gym instead of getting dragged to the social media."
Koushik sighed. Olivia looked so guilty as though she orchestrated all this.
"It's not your fault. Rather I should thank you for standing up for me when you had no reason to do it. It's my fault for being so worthless. If only I could do things a little more efficiently I wouldn't have constantly caused trouble for us. Bikram and Rishi work so hard to maintain our group's image but I just ruin their efforts with my clumsiness." Koushik turned his head away and muttered softly.
"Ah, sorry. I'm dumping my emotions on you again. You should go away. You don't need to listen to my ramblings. I just feel a little down, that's why I'm babbling. I'll be fine after some alone time. I'm an idol after all I can't indulge in sadness for so long. I should spread happiness among people." He fidgeted with his fingers forcing a smile.
Olivia stood up. Koushik stared at her for some time wanting to say something but decided against it and sighed.
"Right. You should go now... Bye." He squeezed out a small smile and waved reluctantly before looking away.
Olivia turned around and walked away.
Koushik closed his eyes and leaned back on the tree trunk.
"Do you want to give it a try?"
His eyes startled open. With utter confusion he looked up at Olivia towering over him.
"What?"
"I can get the video removed and make sure it doesn't spread. Those who are behind it and engaged with it will be punished appropriately. But what do you think about using this situation to your advantage?"
"How?" Koushik still did not understand what she was trying to say.
"Your as well as Antariksha's reputation is at stake. Can you think of any better motivation to try again?" Olivia said.
"How's that a motivation? I'm more inclined to never set foot inside the gym again." Koushik said in disbelief.
"Sure but you can use this as the push you need. Do you think your friend would be happy to see how you are now? What do you think would he prefer? You trying to avoid the gym for life or continuing on even in his absence?"
Koushik contemplated for sometime and said with a chuckle "You're right he would chew me out if he saw me like this."
"Then get up and get ready to fight."
Koushik asked, "But what if I fail again?"
"I'll help you and I promise you'll be in a far better place than you currently are," Olivia said solemnly.
Seeing the hesitant look on his face she spoke again, "I played a part in this so I want to take responsibility,"
Koushik did not object anymore. Since she willingly extended a helping hand he would be a fool to be stubborn and refuse. Rather he decided to work extra hard in order to respect her decision and achieve his goal.