Dreams are a phenomenon not explainable by science properly. Today was no different as I fell asleep and into the void of the dreamscape. Waking up in the dream to a very happening and noisy family event.
Looking around, I took in the sights. Something caught my gaze and my eyes went wide.
Seated around an oblong table made of hardwood and filled with carvings of phoenixes, dragons, qilins, tigers and tortoises, was a group of elders. All of them seated on ancient hardwood chairs, similarly carved, but with the added zodiac symbol each was born under.
From where I sat, I noticed many familiar faces. Who were they and what did they share in common? They were all elders who had passed away. Those I didn't recognize were probably elders who passed on before I was conceived.
Among them were my grandma, eldest grandaunt and fourth grandaunt. One would think that the eldest grandaunt would be at the head of the table, but no, it was an even more elderly looking lady, hunched low. At first I did not recognize who she was, that was until she looked over to the fourth generation's table. I had seen her portrait while I was growing up, it was my great grandma; I remember my grandmother showing me a black and white photo of her mother when she was alive.
The setting seemed similar to reunion dinner night, on the eve of the Chinese new year. Chatter in the air, noisiest of course, was the elder's table, followed by the third generation's table.
While as far as I know, none have passed from the third generation, it was shocking to see everyone here. I guessed that it was probably just a reunion dinner. Frankly, I should have noticed it sooner, but perhaps due to the fact that some grand elders had their backs to me, I didn't see those still living - but they were present as well.
Distance was no obstacle in gathering all. Didn't take me long to notice that this was a dreamscape. I probably was the last to arrive at the fourth generation's table. Having a terrible sleep cycle would do this.
Anyway I digress, so the dinner went as usual, with calls for toasts every so often.
Then after eating, came the next part of praying to the ancestors, Great Grandma led the process. Didn't matter that some of the grand aunts and relatives had renounced the Chinese faith for other faiths, this was a prayer for ancestors. Everyone bowed to the Heavens, Earth and the ancestral tablets.
A bright glow emanated from the tablets as soon as the prayers were completed.
Next everyone sat back down at their seats. Only then did I notice that not only were our seats named, it was our mandarin names, paired with the zodiac and element of our birth.
After that, my great grandma called for the fourth generation. One by one we met her and greeted her. Somehow everyone knew what to say, some promised to elevate the family name, some promised to bear more children to carry the lineage. Some promised to stay alive for as long as they naturally could.
After listening to everyone, great grandma allowed her children (our grandparents) to go back to their respective families while she and her husband (who up to this point hadn't said a word) walked off into the glowing tablets, now slightly dimmer after their departure.
The tables automatically rearrange themselves, putting families together. At my table, only grandma was around, I tried asking about grandpa, but she shook her head, no explanation given as to why he was not here.
At our table, besides grandma and my parents and younger sibling, both elder aunts, my uncle and my cousin as well as our respective spouses were there. We introduced our spouses to grandma as she had not met them in person.
We chatted over ice cream and all sorts of food that grandma used to make for us. Everyone's favorite dish made by grandma was there. I won't list them as I have no idea what they're called in English. Grandma loved ice cream, especially rum and raisin flavor. She remembered that I liked sherbets, and so there was a selection of that too. This being a dreamscape, my brother had a sampling of his own ice cream recipe, and grandma enjoyed that too.
We talked for a while and one by one as the younger generations left, the elders also got up and returned to the tablets. Our table was the last one in the dreamscape, mainly due to me. The rest I assume had awoken in reality, thus leaving this dreamscape.
Grandma reminded me to cherish life and that tough times don't last forever. That I was stronger than I would admit, I wept and apologized. She then said she had to go, telling me to wake up. Despite my unwillingness, I was sent away and forcefully awoken.
I did try to go back, but all I saw was emptiness. Not even the ancestral tablet or the grand table remained - just pure emptiness. I gave up trying to reconnect after that. Sometimes I could return to the same dream and continue from where I left off, but this time, there was nothing to continue.
Sometimes, I wonder if these dreams are really dreams, or whether we are just living in a simulator in a shared consciousness - and glitches cause us to be able to connect with the dearly departed. I guess I will never know.