Beta read by Shigiya, Paragon of Awesomeness and FabledLife
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-Sainan-
He had lived a long life.
When combining both his time alive as a human and his existence as a Counter Guardian, things had a way of stretching into something that was by definition endless. An existence without a clear beginning or a proper end. Time itself was a concept that did not truly exist where his true self resided — in a sense, even before he made that contract, Counter Guardian EMIYA had always existed. There was no single moment that could truly be called his start, and there was no fixed point that could be called his beginning and his conclusion; he was simply there.
A life like that naturally led to an immense accumulation of memories. Different summonings blended together, each deployment, each interaction, every time he witnessed humanity at different points in time and development. Every kill, every correction, every task that he carried out as the cleaner of the world piled up one after the other with no particular end in sight. His work never truly ended, and neither did the echoes of it. Even Emiya himself could not perfectly remember everything, and in fact, he was certain that there was much that he had completely forgotten.
He believed that if he did remember, it would have been more of a curse than a blessing. At some point, carrying every detail intact would have driven him mad. Perhaps this limitation was another safeguard, a way to prevent beings like him from collapsing under the weight of their own existence. Humans, after all, were never meant to endure such a thing.
Still, a large portion of that information remained buried within him. He never worried about anyone else seeing it. Even during the dream cycle, Rin had only ever brushed against the core memories. She never saw the full depth, and even if she did see more than necessary… most of it would be forgotten upon waking up.
That was how it was supposed to work.
For someone else to use a different method and bypass his mind entirely, to fully immerse themselves in everything he'd lived through, was something he had never believed possible or experienced for that matter. Now, sitting there, he had undeniable proof that he had been wrong.
They were on a rooftop, he and Mea sat close to the edge together, their legs dangling over open air. A single careless movement would have been enough to send someone falling, but the area below was empty, with classes soon starting and no one walking outside. Then again, with how easygoing the people in this world had shown themselves to be, Emiya figured such things would be ignored.
"Feeling better now?" he asked quietly, turning his head toward the red-haired girl beside him.
There was no response. She continued to stare at the half-finished drink he had handed her earlier, her fingers wrapped loosely around the can. He could not tell if she had even heard him, or if she was taking a long time to think about the question. Her posture was stiff, her shoulders drawn in.
He knew that being flooded with someone else's memories could be… uncomfortable at the very least and traumatic at worst. Even so, he had never imagined it could affect her this much. Logically, this should have been the perfect moment to reprimand her, to warn her, even to threaten her into staying away from his family and from him. The words were there, ready to be said. Yet none of them felt right.
"You probably saw a lot of things that did not make sense," he said calmly. "And plenty of things that feel like they should not exist."
She flinched harshly at that, her body trembling, signs of what she saw shook her.
"You probably have questions," he continued, taking a sip of his own drink and noting the sound of the bell ringing. Though he ignored it, not the first time he skipped classes, "or if you just want to forget everything you saw. Unfortunately, what's done is done. If this is the worst-case scenario, you will unfortunately have to live with them. So there's that. Sorry, I don't really have an actual solution. Otherwise, I would've used it on myself long ago."
Silence followed once more. He was starting to see that he wasn't really making a difference and decided it was best not to push her.
The cold air hits his face, 'It's going to start snowing sooner than I anticipated. I'm still not sure how Celine's species responds to the cold… She hasn't withered yet, so that's a good sign. In fact, the garden is getting greener by the day. Strange.'
Finally, he heard her voice.
"What… exactly are you?"
"I'm a human." His response only made her grip on the soda can tighten further, her knuckles whitening. To the point that the can had long since been crushed into a single string of metal.
"Or at least, I used to be human," he added after a moment. "Technically, I am human now again, I think. It is complicated. Still plenty of things I am trying to figure out myself too, but for now, just look at me the same as any human."
"…"
Seeing the lack of reaction, Emiya wondered if he had not said enough. The thought lingered as he studied her face, searching for even the smallest shift in expression. Was he being too vague?
Emiya figured it would be best for him to find a solution to this, but the problem was that she had seen too much all at once. There was no way anyone could understand all of that immediately unless they had a supercomputer in their mind. Her memories were most likely crowded with fractured scenes, half-formed information, and names that refused to connect. Pieces floated without order, brushing against each other without meaning. Whether she would begin to link them together on her own with time was something he couldn't tell, since there was a possibility for it to just get worse.
She finally spoke, though the words came out broken and unsure. "Are you… Did you… no. You killed a lot. Too much. A weapon like us? We've never…" Even trying to string together a single clear sentence seemed difficult for her. She most likely had too many questions pressing forward at once and did not know which one deserved to be asked first.
Emiya understood what she was trying to grasp, and he let out a quiet chuckle, more tired than amused. "It is a bit ironic, is it not? I have spent a lot of effort lately trying to convince several people that I am not your sibling, or the other one who calls herself Nemesis. Where or when she got the idea that we are related, I honestly cannot say." He paused, choosing his words carefully instead of rushing ahead. "But if there is one similarity we share, it would be this. I was, and still am, a kind of weapon meant for a single purpose. Unlike you, I am not freelance, unfortunately. I cannot pick and choose who I get to kill. My boss is not kind, but neither are they cruel, in fact, they are more like a computer with one singular goal. I'm their tool to use to deal with problems that threaten that goal. Worst part is, I never ever get paid for it." He tried to soften the end of it with humor, but Mea did not laugh.
She hesitated again, then asked quietly, "Did… the thing… back then… Solgam?"
"No," he replied without delay, understanding her question. "I am not a creation of Solgam. I understand why it would be hard to believe otherwise. I am partly at fault for that since I have not put much effort into explaining why I can use the abilities I have now aside from just magecraft, and why others can't if it's just magic."
"It is… co-confusing," Mea said. "My head hurts. Everything feels messy… I am tired, but I cannot sleep. I want to forget, but I can't… It hurts." She stared up at the sky as she spoke, her eyes hollow and unfocused, as if she were looking through the clouds rather than at them.
Slowly, Emiya felt his expression shift into a tired frown. The sight unsettled him more than anger ever could. But then again, it was hard to feel anger when someone right in front of him was suffering enough that any form of scolding or punishment would not even register. He lowered his voice and spoke gently. "Hey. Do you want to hear a story?"
That seemed to catch her attention, for the redhead finally stared at him with a side glance. "A story?" she repeated, blinking once as if pulled back into the moment.
"Yes," he said. "When both Rito and Mikan were small, they were pretty hyperactive and always had too much on their minds. When things became a bit too hectic with how energetic both could be, I would tell them a story. They would listen, and by the end of the day, their thoughts would feel clearer."
She considered it for a moment before nodding. "…Yes. I would like that too."
"Long ago," Emiya began, "there was a kid who woke up to a world of fire and corpses around him. He was caught in the aftermath of a war that no one knew had existed. He tried his best to survive, but with every step he took, he lost an important part of himself. He ignored the pleas for help. He ignored the charred corpses that were holding onto another. He ignored the pain that caused him every time he breathed. Because he knew that if he stopped for one second, he would die." Mea listened closely, her eyes widening slightly as fragments of memory surfaced from what she had seen earlier. She did not interrupt him. "In the end, he was saved by a broken man who raised him as best he could. That man passed down a broken dream, and the boy shaped his entire old existence around them. To become a hero of justice."
"…"
"Unfortunately, the man eventually died. The wounds from that war had finally ended him, but he had died with a smile on his face, leaving the boy completely alone in a world that suddenly felt far larger and far colder than before. Even so, he carried the old man's dream in his heart. He held onto it quietly for years, treating it like a promise he could not abandon for any reason. He did everything he could to achieve it, even going so far as to participate in a war just like the same one that had caused that tragedy in the first place, though it happened more by circumstance and poor timing than any deliberate choice. Somehow, from either immense luck or the worst luck imaginable, he survived that war, for it also served to cement his dreams. Rather than learning anything useful from it, he stayed stubborn and pressed forward with that dream, leaving his hometown behind and traveling wherever his feet took him.
Even when she kept her silence, he could practically see the gears in her head turning. The mess crowding that mind of hers perhaps became less chaotic with her using his words to start putting the pieces of the puzzle together one by one.
Hard to say if it was due to her nature as a biological weapon that made the girl adapt so quickly, rather than going into a coma for days or having her mind fractured. In the end, this was mere speculation, for all he knew, a regular human could also endure it.
Difficult to verify that claim, nor did he wish to try it out.
"Along the way, he met many people. Some were kind and honest, some were cruel or selfish, and a few were painfully similar to him in ways he did not want to admit, but they sought to make the world a better place regardless of their driving force. He had chances to build real friendships, chances to find love more than once, and even chances to settle down and live a quiet, decent life and be happy. All of those moments passed him by, and people would not keep waiting for him forever; they had their own lives to live. That idiot was too blind to notice what was right in front of him until it was already gone. In the end, he found himself alone again, standing on the same empty ground he always returned to.
When was the last time he had such a conversation? Was it with Rin? Perhaps, but he never went into such details, for she already understood all of it. A smart girl who just wanted to hear the truth from his own mouth.
Hopefully, Mea could make some sense of it.
"So he kept going. He tried to be a hero in his own way, throwing himself into one conflict after another, moving from battlefield to battlefield across the globe wherever he could find them. He did not think about glory or reward. He simply did what he believed was right and did his best with what little he had left of himself. And as you might suspect, his actions did not go unnoticed. But not for the better. There were obviously those who wanted him dead, and they eventually used his reputation as a convenient excuse. He became a scapegoat, someone easy to blame for all the atrocities that they had caused, someone easy to erase; And the people… They just wanted an outlet during hard times and accepted the lie. Even those he saved before had turned their back on him, and they decided his journey should end there."
There was no sadness in either of their faces; he was just retelling a story like any other. And Mea listened on, clarity slowly returning with each part starting to make sense bit by bit.
"But what should have been the end never truly came. Instead, he found himself bound to continue on his path even after death, without rest and without pause from a contract he made with a certain entity. Forced to keep fighting, to keep killing. It went on for so long, and the number of lives taken grew so large, that even he lost track of it all. Time itself stopped meaning anything to him, and the idea of an ending became nothing more than a weapon to use."
"That… does not sound too bad," Mea said with a groggy voice, her words slow and uneven as it sounded like a muddled echo. She sounded weak, tired, and only half aware of the conversation. "You get to achieve your true purpose. The perfect killing machine… the perfect assassin."
He did not find her comment offensive or rude. In fact, he found it quietly amusing, the corner of his mouth lifting just slightly.
"Heh, I can assure you that person had no talent as an assassin," he replied with a smirk. "But yes, he did become the textbook definition of a weapon, whether he wanted it or not."
"So why was he not happy?" she asked after a short pause, her tone softer now.
Emiya took another sip, only to notice there was nothing left, which soured his mood. "Sometimes people want different things," he answered. "It's as simple as that. Maybe he had too many regrets to live and enjoy anything, and killing people endlessly was not exactly his cup of tea. Unlike you, he could not stop, and he could not enjoy the path he was on, were he a serial killer, even for a moment. Because a leash was still a leash."
"I… do not like that story," Maia muttered, long braided ponytail swinging around without purpose like a tail. "It does not have a proper ending."
"I was never a good storyteller," he said simply. "But I will add this much. That is not the end, and there is a twist to it."
Mea blinked, looking at him with a tilt of her head.
"You see, one day, without any warning, the man who was still doing his job as usual woke up in a strange place. It was not a battlefield or at the outskirts of a town he needed to destroy, but inside a basket as an infant. Nothing about it made sense to him. The air felt wrong, the surroundings unfamiliar… There, he found himself with new people who called themselves his parents, despite having no blood relation to him at all. Soon after, he met two other children, and over time, he came to see them as his own siblings.
Emiya leaned backwards, stretching his arms while fighting back the urge to yawn.
"At first, he was skeptical. He thought it might be nothing but a beautiful and cruel dream. He believed that sooner or later, he would wake up and return to his endless fate of being used as a weapon again, over and over, like a machine being turned on after being put in the corner. That moment never came. Days passed, then weeks, and then years. So he decided to do something he had never allowed himself to do before."
"…And that is?"
"He decided to live. He wanted to experience what he should have done from the beginning. Even if it was only for a short time, he wanted to feel like a normal person. He made friends, many of them strange, some of them idiots, and others far too obsessed with him for their own good, and plenty who want to see him suffer over silly things, and went so far as to make an alliance of all things. He never hated them. In truth, even though he would never admit it to their faces, he was grateful they were part of his life. He would not trade them for anything."
"What about those who try to kill him, or those who are trying to turn him into a weapon once more?"
"Same as the rest," was his answer. "Unless they go out of their way to harm his siblings. Then that's a step too far."
"Do you… regret it?" Mea asked, chewing on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. "That life. If you had the opportunity now, would you cut it off?"
Well, given what he tried to achieve during the Holy Grail War, the answer was quite obvious. He was sure she must have seen it, with how recent those memories were; maybe she just sought confirmation. "I would be lying if I said no."
"Why…"
"Several obvious reasons."
"Why…"
"Hm?" Something felt off; she was not following the conversation any longer.
"Why… You achieved it, but you rejected it, why… Why? Why? It doesn't make sense…" she asked quietly, her voice cracking. Eyes widened with traces of uncertainty spiraling within like a storm. Conflicted beyond reason, Emiya tried to calm her down with his hand going to her shoulder — only for Mea's hair to react erratically, transforming into a vicious blade that swung at him. "Don't touch me!"
Clang!
A powerful swipe was sent his way, slicing through the metal mesh wall as if it were butter. The attack was blocked with Kanshou appearing in his hand, sparks flying everywhere with him observing her calmly.
"Mea…"
"Shut up!" she shouted back at him with a shriek. "You make it sound like becoming a weapon is a bad thing! But that's our sole purpose! We were created for one singular reason, and that is to eliminate! But you… Shut up! Just shut up!"
It was like dealing with a cornered animal. Desperation in her eyes as if he was ripping away reality right before her eyes. Denial, anger, and confusion were the dominant emotions taking over her entire self.
It was surprising how a single braided hair could move this quickly to the point it felt like he was dealing with several of them. A whip striking out randomly, slicing and dicing everything in its path — except for the Noble Phantasm in his hand.
Clang!
Clang!
If it were not a direct block, then Emiya would dodge or deflect. Good thing there was no one else on the roof today, or else it would have been a bloody sight.
She was no longer thinking logically.
"I can understand Yami Onee-sama, but you… You became a true weapon in the end! You achieved what we were built for without anything holding you back!" Mea screamed, getting more and more agitated after each word that came out of her mouth. "You wanted that too! But why aren't you happy!? So long as you were only killing the bad ones, then what's the problem if you killed millions!? That's our purpose! My Master and I are doing the same, and we're happy!"
She sure didn't react like someone who was happy if that were the case. Speaking with Nemesis briefly did not make him feel like that woman regretted her way of life. Given this one kept calling her Master, he wondered if the reason she lashed out was that it contradicted something she was made to believe.
"Hn!" A grunt escaped his lips at some of the whip strikes; the sheer amount of force behind a few nearly sent him flying off the rooftop from losing his footing. There was no reason behind them; she neither sought to kill him nor wound him, just fully lashing out at everything. This made it a bit hard to predict her next movement.
The girl was not making sense. Spouting everything… she must have reached her limit.
"You are just like me, Master and Yami! Regardless of how you were made or where you came from!"
At this point, it was no longer a subject of his past. Was she even aware of everything she kept shouting?
Defending against the onslaught was not the hard part. With just Kanshou in hand, he remained more than capable of not getting killed. Even as small strands of red hair and scraps of his clothes fell to the ground with each clash, his weapon remained perfectly intact.
"We are still the closest thing you have to a real family! Why do you want to spend your life surrounded by weaker beings you'd rather call family than us!? Our existence is only meant for killing and nothing else! Why do you hate it!? Why!?"
The tricky part came from gaining more ground than he was losing. If he backed away even a single step, then that made things ten times harder. He did not seek to kill her at this moment; the girl was going through a severe emotional conflict, and he had yet to fully understand the reason behind it.
'She's not stable at all. I can't even be sure if it's because of those memories alone or if I touched a sore subject. Could be both.'
Steadily, he advanced with most attacks getting blocked. Some of the attacks managed to scratch his skin, cuts on his clothes growing by the second.
The distance between them grew shorter and shorter. This went on for long enough that his remaining hand got into position to hold the second married blade just to keep up with the chaos — only for that action to stop midway when the erratic slashing slowed down.
It finally stopped completely with Mea's hair reverting back to its regular state, albeit looking very mangled now, not that she seemed to care. Emiya in turn released his swords as less than a meter separated them. Her hollow eyes stared right back at his golden brown orbs with a hint of steel gray.
Both said nothing at first, keeping their silence.
"Get everything out of your system?" he eventually asked, glancing around at how the rooftop looked like it had been thrown into a giant blender.
"…I don't understand you. I don't… understand these memories."
He did not answer right away. Instead, dismissing his creation and ignoring some of the wounds that passed through his defense, and putting himself back in front of Mea without any defense. "That boy just wanted to save people, nothing more," he continued, as if still telling the story from earlier. "But you're misunderstanding something important. At no point did that boy ever stop being a weapon; he knows full well that it is an impossible task and had long since accepted it; he is not denying that part of him."
She shifted slightly.
"I am not asking you or Yami to abandon everything about your current selves, I'm not asking her to forget. What I'm asking is to understand that a weapon is used for more reasons than just killing; it's also made to protect, and that's what she's doing. There are no rules stating that a weapon cannot be put down to rest once in a while either," he continued, his tone calm and amused. "And the boy hopes that others like him can experience the same thing as well. That not everything needs to be bloody, grim, or dark all the time. That you can enjoy some peace while still being true to yourself."
"…"
"I don't want her — or even you for that matter — to chain yourself to a singular purpose. You may think that's what you want, that it's your sole purpose in life, but that road will lead you to hell and a tragic end."
He watched as the girl's body swayed, looking pale and weak. He caught her in time. Her entire weight leaning against him, Emiya carried her somewhere less… destroyed. She made no effort in trying to escape his grasp; instead she just became limp and fell into his lap as they reached the only remaining bench that had not been smashed or sliced apart. "Hah… fine then."
"…I hate you," she said dryly. "Your existence goes against all of Master Nemesis' teachings."
"I figured. Nothing we can do about that other than just killing each other. Except I don't want to kill you, so I suppose you have the advantage."
Mea went still, genuinely looking like she was contemplating that option before just shaking her head. "Later… too tired. My head hurts."
He rolled his eyes at that answer.
"Anyways, what did you think of my story?"
Mea was silent for a moment. Then she replied, "It… got a bit better at the end. You still need to practice your storytelling more, though."
He let out a small breath that could have been a laugh. "I will. Hopefully, with time, I will be able to tell a good story. Maybe even one with a definitive happy ending that's not up in the air."
"…Can you tell me another story? It helped with my headache…" she asked. Her eyes were already closed now, her head resting in the crook of his neck, and he did not push her away. He simply hummed softly, the sound low and steady.
"I have many. Do you want to hear the story of a combat nun who really loved curry?"
"That… sounds pretty weird. But funny."
"So was she," he replied. "You might like this one."
And so he continued. One story followed another, each one simple in structure but careful in its pacing. He knew full well that he was not revealing anything truly new. At best, he was putting a little order where there had only been confusion before. Still, that felt preferable to leaving her alone with pain she did not understand, forced to try and sort through it all by herself without any guidance. Even if it had been her own fault, he did not see the value in punishment for its own sake.
Also, he did not want to deal with another violent outburst.
Offering her a starting point was a small price. One he was more than willing to pay.
The sun slowly dipped lower, light fading into warmer shades as time slipped by unnoticed. They both missed their classes, though the thought did not trouble him. At some point, her breathing changed, her heartbeat calmed down, and colour returned to her face. Even when not sleeping, he looked down at her quietly. At that moment, he could not help but recall Yami's face. In this particular situation, neither of them resembled weapons or assassins. They simply looked like a pair of young girls.
"That's enough for today," Mea said, getting up, and walking to the edge of the building. Beautiful angelic wings sprouted from her back before she went away without giving him another word or look.
Watching her leave, Emiya felt something cold touch her forehead, extending his hand; small flakes of snow landed on his skin.
"It's already snowing."
{Break}
(A few days later)
Buying Christmas gifts for other people was… a challenge. A stressful one.
That was the conclusion Kotegawa Yui came to as she stood absentmindedly in front of a massive store, its windows packed with countless items on display. Chocolates, souvenirs, and, of course, Christmas-themed puppets and decorations filled every available space. All of them looked suitable to give to a classmate or a friend from school.
Much to her dismay, none of them felt right.
Yui's gaze drifted from shelf to shelf, uncertainty settling deeper in her stomach with each passing second. What was she supposed to give to a certain red-haired boy who had recently become a constant source of concern?
'Recently, he has even been skipping classes,' she thought. His descent toward delinquency is getting worse by the day. I must do everything in my power to bring that unacceptable behavior to a halt and bring him back to the path of virtue!'
It was her duty. Such a change in attitude was concerning, and every time she tried to ask him about it, the answer she received was always the same.
"I was telling a story and lost track of time."
The first time she heard that lame excuse, it left her in disbelief. She had been too shocked to respond properly to such a blatant lie. Was he making fun of her? Was it just another foolish joke? Either way, it was completely unacceptable behavior.
'Why am I even buying him, of all people, a gift for Christmas?' she wondered now. 'Will it really fix anything at all? Or maybe I should buy him a few books. Or a journal so he can keep track of his assignments.'
She considered one option after another, confidence slipping away each time. None of them felt meaningful. A small part of her suspected that these things would not hold any real significance to him. They felt far too formal, like something one would give to a neighbour or a teacher rather than a friend.
Her eyes shifted toward a couple walking past the store. The girl handed the boy a box of chocolates as they stopped beneath a mistletoe. He laughed openly and kissed her without hesitation, right there in public.
'Shameless!' Yui shouted internally. 'How can people act in such a lewd manner when they know others can see them? This is a public space where parents bring their children!'
"Just because it is a public space doesn't mean that they can't kiss as much as they want."
"WAH!"
The sudden voice behind her made her jump in place. Yui let out a loud yelp as surprise ran through her, and she stumbled back a step, nearly knocking over several items on display when her hand brushed against them by accident. A few boxes rattled before settling again and she quickly turned around, her posture stiff, only to find a familiar figure standing there.
A certain pink-haired alien princess looked back at her with a cheeky smile, clearly enjoying the reaction she had caused.
"Hey there. What a coincidence to meet you here, Kotegawa."
"Mo-Momo? What are you doing here?"
"What? Am I not allowed to spend my time however I want outside of school hours?" Momo tilted her head slightly, her tone playful. "I knew you were strict, Kotegawa, but that's going above and beyond. You may be taking your role as the head of the disciplinary committee a bit too seriously."
Embarrassment crept across the ebony-haired girl's face, coloring her cheeks as she straightened herself and adjusted her grip on her bag. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I was just surprised to see you here."
"Same for me," Momo replied casually as she glanced toward the shelves. Her eyes lingered on the neatly arranged items for a moment before she looked back at Yui. "So I see you're searching for a gift for him, too."
"For him?" Yui repeated, blinking once. "What do you mean by that? Don't tell me you..."
She did not need to finish the sentence. The look on Momo's face said more than enough. With a small shrug, the pink-haired girl let out a quiet sigh, sounding more amused than bothered.
"Well, it's kind of hard to give a guy a gift when he can just recreate any of them as he pleases," Momo said. "And even then, he's not very materialistic aside from anything that has to do with kitchen stuff, and I can't exactly create the kind of machines my sister can."
Yui nodded slowly.
For all his faults, she could at least admit that Emiya was not someone who chased after possessions needlessly. She had never seen him show much interest in expensive items or trends. The only things he ever seemed attached to were a handful of books he borrowed from Haruna and the tools he actually used.
"Maybe I can get him a chef's knife?"
Momo rolled her eyes and responded without hesitation. "You can, if you want to get him the same present that half of the people at the party will." She gestured vaguely as if pointing toward an imaginary knife rack. "His shed alone has at least dozens of those stocked away somewhere, let alone his actual kitchen."
"Oh." Disappointment settled onto Yui's face. Her shoulders drooped slightly. That had been her last idea, the one thing she thought might genuinely work. But if it was something everyone else would give him, then there was nothing special about it at all. After a moment, she looked back at the alien princess, who was now grabbing several boxes of chocolates from the display with clear interest. A thought crossed her mind. "Then what about you? What are you planning on getting him?"
"I'm going to melt these chocolates all over my naked body and have him eat them off me to his heart's content."
"W-What!?" Yui nearly shouted, her eyes widening. "What kind of shameless behavior is this!? This is beyond inappropriate! This is pure degeneracy!"
Momo waved her hand dismissively as she chuckled at the reaction. "Relax. I'm just joking." She leaned closer, lowering her voice slightly. "Also, I already did something recently that would make this seem pretty tame in comparison. If I really wanted to get a reaction out of him again, I would need to do something really extreme and provocative."
"Excuse me!?"
She straightened up and tapped one of the boxes thoughtfully. "Anyways, I'm actually going to buy a chocolate fountain. Not only him, but also my sisters and his siblings have shown interest in those before. This is the perfect opportunity, and I've been meaning to buy them anyway."
"A chocolate fountain," Yui repeated under her breath. The words sank in, and her eyes widened again, this time in frustration. She resisted the urge to smack her forehead against the nearest wall. It was perfect. Too perfect. Why hadn't she thought about it earlier?
Wait! Maybe…
"Oh, and before you think about getting him a cheese fountain," Momo added casually, "Zastin has already made plans to buy one for the family."
"Dammit!" Yui shouted, drawing a few glances from nearby shoppers. Her options were growing shorter by the minute, and she was genuinely starting to feel miserable at not knowing what to get for him at all.
Seeing her distressed state, Momo sighed and rolled her eyes. She stepped closer and placed a hand on the taller girl's shoulder, which made the latter calm down somewhat.
"Stop overthinking things. That guy is not someone who makes his judgment of someone based on a gift alone. As long as you get him something you truly believe he'll enjoy, he'll be more than appreciative no matter what."
"You… you really think so?"
"Yep," Momo said with a giggle, her tone casual as if she were stating an obvious fact. "As much as he can act like a grouch, he really is very sweet. But I should not need to tell you of all people that. I can make a bet with you right now that he will say something like, 'You being here is a gift in itself.'"
Those words sounded harmless on the surface, almost polite even. Yet the moment they reached Yui's ears, her mind twisted them into something far more vivid. An image forced itself into the forefront of her mind, clear and embarrassing. She imagined him standing well within her personal space, fingers lifting her chin, their faces so near that she could feel his breath as he repeated those same words in a quiet voice.
Her face heated instantly.
"No! Stop it! Stop saying weird things," Yui snapped, shaking her head as if she could physically scatter the thought away.
"I did not say anything weird," Momo replied calmly, blinking as though confused.
"You were thinking about it," Yui shot back, pointing accusingly. "He and I are just friends!"
"Now you sound more like Nana," Momo said with a light laugh. "Okay, you and he are totally just friends, Kotegawa. Still, we have to resolve your issue with what to actually get him for a gift." Her words pulled Yui back to reality before her imagination could wander again. "My other suggestion was to buy some lingerie he'd like, or other things for a beautiful woman to wear. But judging by your reaction, I guess that also will not work."
"What do you think of me exactly, to suggest such… dirty things for a Christmas present!?" Yui demanded, her voice filled with disbelief.
"That you are a closet pervert who tries to hide her true thoughts behind a mask of discipline," Momo answered without hesitation.
Yui froze. The sheer bluntness left her stunned. The longer she spoke with this strange girl, the more she felt as though a small piece of her sanity was being chipped away, little by little. She took a slow breath, forcing herself to relax.
'Calm down,' she told herself silently. 'Do not lose your composure. She is probably doing this on purpose just to get a reaction.' Aloud, she said, "Just, can you please help me get something for him?"
Momo smiled, the teasing edge softening. "Of course. I will be happy to do that."
After that, the two girls set off on what could only be described as a long search for the perfect Christmas gift. Momo led the way with confidence, weaving through crowded walkways and brightly lit stores. Yui followed closely behind, trying to keep up as they entered one shop after another. They browsed through displays of watches, carefully arranged shirts, and neatly arranged jackets. They examined each item seriously, imagining whether it would suit him, whether it matched his taste.
Almost everything she found appealing turned out to be far beyond her budget, which only deepened her frustration.
However, clothing stores for boys were not the only places Momo led her to. Before Yui fully realized what was happening, she found herself standing inside a lingerie shop. Soft lighting reflected off mirrors, and rows of delicate fabrics lined the walls.
"Did I not say I was not going to do this!?" Yui protested, her face burning red. She was already inside a changing booth, clutching a rather risqué set with trembling hands. "This is unacceptable. I-It is s-shameless."
"Do you know what Christmas means for most people in Japan once they're a certain age?" Momo asked suddenly, her tone serious enough to catch her completely off guard.
"What?" Yui replied, confused.
"Given how you do seem like someone who's rather prudish, I assume you do not," Momo continued. "After plenty of research, I have learned that in this country, Christmas, especially Christmas Eve, is a very significant time for couples in particular. Love is formed if not deepened, intimate gifts are exchanged, romantic dinner plans are made, and hundreds, maybe thousands, of men and women confess their feelings to the people they like. What better atmosphere could there be to give the person you like something to show off how attractive you are? This opportunity comes only once a year. Valentine's Day and White Day are all about giving romantic chocolates, but this is so much more meaningful."
"What are you trying to say?" Yui asked. A bad feeling settled in her chest as she listened. She was familiar with this idea, even if she tried to ignore it. Her brother never stopped talking about it whenever he went on dates. Just yesterday, he had been whining about it nonstop, though she had mostly tuned him out as usual.
"Tell me," Momo said, watching her closely. "How many people do you think will approach Emiya with the intention of confessing their feelings to him?"
"What?" That question genuinely shocked her once again. Everything that came out of Momo's mouth seemed designed to leave her stunned. Still, she thought about it carefully.
"…None, I guess, aside from Lala? Most of them are just friends with him, and he is only inviting a few people over for a Christmas dinner party with his family. As for Lala, she already thinks they're engaged." She truly could not see how such an atmosphere would be ideal for a love confession.
Her answer earned her nothing more than a dry look from the alien princess.
"Are you seriously telling me that you cannot think of anyone who might confess to him, aside from my sister?" Momo said. "Come on. I know you are not that dumb, Kotegawa."
A few faces drifted through her mind, rising without warning and fading just as quickly. Some were familiar, some distant, and a few belonged to people she would rather not think about at all. Troublemakers like Risa and Saki appeared for a brief moment, their faces clear enough to sting, but aside from them, there was no one else. No secret crushes, no hidden figures waiting in the background.
The emptiness surprised her more than anything, and the realization made her uneasy.
"You are thinking about Risa and Saki, yes?"
Yui stiffened. "Do you aliens have mind-reading powers?" she asked, fear slipping into her tone despite her effort to sound composed. It felt as if her thoughts had been laid bare, her inner self opened and examined without permission, and it felt violating.
"No, but I don't need to read minds to see the blatantly obvious," the girl replied without hesitation. "In any case, you are vastly wrong. There are more than a handful of people. At least ten, if I am counting correctly."
"Ten?" Yui snapped, turning toward the younger girl with disbelief clear in her expression. "Where did you even get that ridiculous number?"
"Well, there are my sisters and me," she began, counting with casual confidence. "Then there's Haruna, Mikado, Run, Saki, and her little clique, and of course you. That's ten girls right there already. There are probably one or two others I am forgetting or just haven't noticed yet. One of them had better not be her…"
The last sentence carried a suspiciously high amount of dread, though Yui had no idea who the alien girl was speaking of. Her attention was already fixed elsewhere, her thoughts spiraling in another direction.
"I am not in love with him," Yui said sharply. "Emiya and I are just close friends. That is all."
"Yes, and you will remain just close friends for the rest of your life with that kind of attitude," the girl replied without mercy.
"Urgh." The sound escaped her before she could stop herself. For some reason, the comment stung far more than she expected, leaving her confused and irritated at the same time. "Th-There… there is nothing wrong with us being friends. He said it himself. He is not looking for a relationship right now, so I have to respect his wishes."
"He is human like anyone else," the alien girl said, her tone turning thoughtful. "If someone enters his life with enough stubbornness and enough love to shake him to the core, do you really think he would not begin developing feelings as well? He may remember that you are friends, but those emotions would already be taking root. By then, it would already be too late to pretend nothing has changed."
Yui hesitated before asking, "What would you know about being in love?"
"Nothing," Momo answered, surprisingly honest. The blunt reply again caught Yui off guard. "I have never been in a relationship. I have no prior experience at all. I had a few suitors who were interested in me, but nothing compared to the number of people chasing after my oldest sister. And even then, most just wanted Papa's throne. This will be a first for me, just like it would be for you. I am going in with the same expectations and hopes as anyone else."
"Then why do you look so confident?" Yui asked. "Aren't you scared?"
"Oh, I am terrified," Momo replied, flashing a wide grin that did not quite hide her nerves. "I am fairly certain I already have several red marks against me in his mind. There were moments where I went too far, times when he could have seriously considered throwing me out. Still, I noticed a faint glimmer of hope. That is what keeps me moving forward. It reminded me that he is not someone without emotions. He feels the same things as everyone else. He is simply very good at hiding them, yet I know he is incredibly thoughtful and kind."
"I suppose that makes sense," Yui admitted quietly.
"Knowing that," Momo continued, "do you want to grab a random cookbook from his favorite chef and bring it to him as a gift? I would be perfectly fine with that option if it makes you feel more comfortable."
Yui did not answer right away. She looked away, her gaze passing over the rows of naughty clothing before drifting toward the other stores lining the street, many of which they had browsed already, their windows glowing softly.
After a moment, she shook her head.
"No," she said. "Let's keep looking."
.
.
.
"You look nervous."
"Of course I am nervous!" Yui said sharply, her voice cracking as her heartbeat climbed higher with every passing second. Her fingers dug into the gift bag in her hands, gripping it so tightly that the paper crinkled under the pressure, as if letting go would make everything fall apart. She stood stiffly near the gate, shoulders tense, breath uneven, her eyes fixed on the front door as though it might suddenly open up to reveal a black hole. "I have absolutely no idea how to do this."
"Don't worry so much about it," Momo replied with a calm tone that did little to ease her new friend's shaking nerves. "It is only going to be a few people and some friends you already know. It is not like the entire class is going to show up." She leaned closer, lowering her voice slightly as if sharing a secret. "And I will make sure you get some private time with him so you can give him the gift properly, without anyone ruining it for you."
The princess finished with a cheeky grin and nudged Yui lightly with her elbow. Instead of helping, it only made the brunette flush harder, heat rushing to her face.
"I should have just bought him the cookbook," Yui muttered, glancing down at the bag again. "This is… this is not appropriate. I feel shameless."
"Getting cold feet?" Momo teased. "If you want, you can just give it to me now. I will make a quick trip to the store and buy that cookbook, and we'll trade. I can use this as my gift to him instead."
"No!" Yui exclaimed, stepping back quickly before the princess could reach for it. "I already said I will give it to him. Just… let me handle it."
"Okay, okay," Momo said with a shrug. "That is entirely up to you, and I'm here to help. But hurry up. I'm freezing my boobs off here."
"Give me a moment," Yui replied, closing her eyes and taking a slow breath. "I need to prepare myself."
Momo rolled her eyes at the hesitation, but she did not push further. She waited patiently by the gate while Yui stood there, silently counting her breaths. What felt like an eternity passed before Yui finally opened her eyes again. She took one careful step forward, then another, until she stood right in front of the door. Her hand rose slowly, trembling as she reached for the doorbell.
Just as she was about to press it, the door swung open.
"Merry Christmas! This is for you!" Yui shouted all at once, panicking. She shoved the gift forward with both hands, her eyes squeezed shut, her head dipping low as she stared at the ground. Her entire body felt like it was on fire, and she could not bring herself to look up.
Silence followed.
That silence made her chest tighten.
Then she heard it.
"Hehehe."
Momo's quiet laughter only made the moment feel worse.
Yui slowly opened one eye, then the other, peeking downward first. What she saw confused her immediately.
The person standing in front of her was wearing high heels.
Her eyes widened as her gaze traveled upward, inch by inch, until she finally lifted her head fully.
Standing there was a woman dressed in a Santa outfit, the skirt so short it barely reached her thighs. The top exposed her shoulders and clung tightly, the front buttons visibly strained by her ample chest. Her figure was impossible to ignore, the red fabric contrasting sharply with her pale skin. A soft rouge colored her lips, and the sweet scent of gingerbread perfume lingered in the air around her, adding to the overwhelmingly attractive holiday-themed presence.
What caught her attention most, however, was the faint white sticky liquid near the corner of her lips.
"Oh my," the woman said with an amused smile. "How thoughtful of you, Kotegawa."
Yui stared in disbelief. "Mikado-sensei?" she blurted out. "What are you doing here?"
Her mind raced. She had been told it would only be friends that Emiya invited to the party. Had they gone to the wrong house?
"Who is at the door, Ryoko?" a familiar voice called from deeper inside the house.
Yui's breath caught.
The person she had been hoping to see stepped into view from the hallway, wearing an apron and holding a large bowl. "Sorry again about the mess made by the mixer," he said casually. "Lala seems to have super charged our appliances, so you need to be really careful with the speed." He paused when he noticed them. "Oh, you're finally here, Yui."
Emiya smiled, completely unaware of the storm brewing inside her chest.
It was only then that Yui realized how different he looked from school. His hair was no longer neatly slicked back; instead, it fell loosely over his forehead. His sleeves were rolled up, the apron tied securely around his waist, the usual sharp presence he carried at school nowhere to be seen. He looked natural, relaxed, almost like a different person altogether, despite the minor changes to his style.
"Welcome to my house," Emiya said warmly. "I think this is your first time here, right? Oh, and Momo is with you too? I was wondering where you scurried off."
"Heya. I was just out doing a bit of last-minute shopping and saw her, so I decided to help her out."
"Well, you'd better come in quick. Nana has been searching for you. She said it was something urgent."
"Ah!"
This time the shout came from the kitchen. Yui instinctively looked over Emiya's shoulder just in time to see Haruna step out, her entire body dusted in the same white substance that coated Mikado, only far worse. It clung to her hair, her sleeves, even her cheeks, as if she had walked through a snowstorm indoors.
"Damn it. Nobody can figure out how to use that machine properly. What was Lala thinking, setting that thing to such a ridiculous speed?"
Walking inside was overwhelming, far more than she had expected. The house already felt crowded, voices overlapping, movement everywhere, the air warm and busy. She froze near the entrance, unprepared for just how many people were already there. The small wrapped gift in her hands remained unnoticed after Mikado-sensei returned it to her. She never even got the chance to pass it to him.
Momo had already left, leaving her standing there alone. That only made the feeling worse.
"Um… Emiya, what is Mikado-sensei doing here?"
The question slipped out before she could stop herself. She asked the boy in front of her, but it came out meek and quiet. Worse still, she could not even remember Momo's earlier words, the reassurance she had clung to, now hoping it had only been an exaggeration.
"Oh, she is a friend. Didn't you know?" he replied casually. "We have known each other for quite a while, and this is not the first time she has been here. She helped me out several times over the past few months, so I figured I should do something for her as well."
"But that kind of outfit…"
"Humph, try telling that to her yourself. I told her she could wear anything Christmas-themed if she wanted to come over. I should have been more specific. In any case, just do your best to ignore her. You will get used to it."
Get used to it. How many times had something like this happened for him to say that so easily? She was already aware that the two of them were close, friendly even. He never bothered hiding it at school, and she had seen them talking together more than once. Still, seeing a nurse comfortable enough to come to his home and dress like that around him made her chest feel tight. She did not know what to think, and she did not like the thoughts forming in her head.
"I think it is done."
Mikado approached, carrying a small plate. "If I cook it any longer, it might burn. The meat is already soft and tender, though it probably needs just a bit more time. Here."
Right in front of her eyes, the nurse held a spoon with a small piece of food and brought it toward his face. He accepted it without hesitation.
"Yeah, that is good. Not too much though. I will say this, you definitely got better."
"Fufufufu. I will take that compliment, but I insist I was merely following your instructions. Here, have another bite."
"There will not be anything left for the others if you keep spoon-feeding me like this."
"You are the one who told me to keep using the spoon."
"That is not what I meant. I meant this was better than you trying to feed me directly from your hand like earlier."
"Well, it is still better than Lala, who was trying to feed you with her mouth. Where did she even learn something like that? Are you corrupting her?"
"No. She just saw it in a movie and wanted to replicate it for some reason."
"Oh my. How bold of her."
Yui's mouth hung open as she watched the interaction unfold. Were these two friends? Since when did friends behave like this? It felt like, in a single day, she wanted to shout the word shameless for the hundredth time at the top of her lungs. The way they spoke, the ease between them, the casual closeness that went beyond faculty and students, or even friends. They looked no different from a couple enjoying Christmas exactly the way Momo had spoken of.
'Why does it hurt?'
She had imagined herself happy, spending time with him and the others, conversing and enjoying the holiday. Instead, simply watching this scene left her feeling heavier than before. Without saying a word, she quietly retreated toward the living room, hoping to find some peace and collect her thoughts.
She never got that chance.
Reaching the room, she expected to see his siblings and prepared herself to greet them. Instead, she stopped short, confronted by someone entirely unexpected. A woman with long blonde hair sat there, wearing the same outfit as Mikado. It hugged her figure just as tightly, emphasizing her equally gifted body, though she held a pillow firmly against herself as if trying to hide most of it. Her blue eyes and blonde hair stood out immediately, and her face reminded her uncannily of the new student she had seen recently.
"Yami?"
"Ah… h-hello there. Um… my name is Tearju. Yami-chan is outside with the others."
Her mind went blank.
Who in the world was this woman!?
"M-Mikado-sensei! T-There is a dog outside!"
"Oh, that must be Haruna's pet. Do not worry, it won't bite anyone. Except maybe Emiya."
Another girl entered the living room right after those words. She had long strands of blue hair that fell neatly down her back, and for reasons that made no sense at all, she was wearing a nurse's outfit as if it were completely normal attire for a casual visit. The way she walked in so calmly, as if this scene were routine, only made the situation feel all the more bizarre.
Who were these people!?
Was this not the same boy at school who constantly slept through class, head resting on his desk, barely acknowledging anyone around him? He rarely spoke unless spoken to, and even then, it was brief. Even after Lala appeared and chaos began following him everywhere, he still kept to himself as much as possible and interacted with only a small handful of people.
Her legs started to feel weak, the strength leaving them little by little. Before she could stop herself, Yui collapsed onto the sofa, sinking into the cushions as if they might swallow her whole. A heavy exhaustion settled over her chest, stronger than simple physical tiredness. Whatever confidence she had built up earlier had completely vanished. The neatly wrapped gift she had prepared now felt painfully heavy in her lap.
Never mind giving it to him. At this point, even speaking to him felt impossible. Her eyes lowered, avoiding everyone in the room, her thoughts messy.
{Break}
(Around the same time)
On the same rooftop where she and Emiya had fought mere days ago, Nemesis now sat quietly on the edge, her legs dangling over the side. She watched the city spread out before her, glowing beneath the night sky. Lights shimmered across buildings, and faint music drifted upward from the streets below, carried by the festive atmosphere of the season.
The city felt alive, almost warm, despite the cold air brushing against her skin.
In her hands, she held several pieces of candy and snacks she had gathered earlier, all wrapped in colorful Christmas-themed packaging. She unwrapped one after another, but no matter how sweet they were, she found no real enjoyment in them. Her attention kept drifting to the corner of the rooftop, where a single figure sat silently.
Mea had not made a sound since they regrouped, not even going to school, and just remaining hidden here.
"How long are you going to keep moping around, Mea?" Nemesis said at last, her voice casual as she sucked on a lollipop. "That is very much not like you. Did he scare you that much?"
Ever since Mea returned earlier, Nemesis could tell she had interacted with him. Something about her behavior was off, subtle but obvious to someone who knew her well. There were no signs of a fight, no injuries, no traces of battle, but something had clearly happened. Whatever it was, it had left Mea withdrawn and quiet in a way Nemesis had never known the girl to be.
"Master," the redhead said slowly, her voice weak as it reached Nemesis across the rooftop. "Our purpose is to become perfect weapons, right? That is why we came here. To remind Yami of her true self, right?"
"That is right," Nemesis replied without hesitation. "And the same goes for our wayward brother. Why ask what you already know?"
"Is that really the right path for us to take?" Mea asked.
"There are other paths," Nemesis said calmly. "And if you want to step into a tragedy like the ones we experienced before, then you are free to walk them. It is only when you are true to yourself, when you become a weapon, that nothing can hurt you. Nobody can wrong you. You can protect yourself against everything in this galaxy. It is the only way to truly protect your happiness."
Her golden-brown eyes turned toward the redhead, watching her closely.
"Every time you killed your target, every time you played with your prey, were you not having fun?" Nemesis continued. "When you felt fully in control, when nothing and no one could take that away from you, was that not happiness? You felt those emotions as clear as day, so why are you so unsure about them now?"
Mea did not deny those words. Still, confusion lingered on her face, her hands tightening slightly in her lap.
"Then why are they happy?" she asked quietly. "Why do they not want to join us? Why does Yami not embrace her true self? And why does he..."
The rest of her words never came. She fell silent, staring out at the glowing city, her question left unfinished.
"That happiness is a short-lived one; eventually trouble will find them. Even without us in the picture, she would need to confront many things they're trying to run away from. Also, because she is afraid," came her answer in an apathetic tone that carried no hesitation. She did not look away as she continued, her voice steady and controlled. "Think of it as a misunderstanding she has with herself. She fears what she does not truly understand. She believes that embracing her true nature means losing control, when in reality it is the complete opposite. What she calls restraint is instead a shackle, even if one she placed upon herself willingly."
Her gaze remained calm, almost distant, as if she were explaining something simple that a child could understand rather than something deeply personal. "If she were to free herself from those restraints, her emotions would no longer be bound. That is when she would finally experience freedom, and with it the happiness she keeps denying herself. All of this stems from those who created her, filling her mind with lies so they could keep a tight grip on her existence. That is why we are here. To free her from those limits and remind her of who she truly is."
She paused briefly before adding, her tone lowering just a little, "As for him, it would be best if you let me handle that matter. He is a special case."
"..."
Nemesis lifted her eyes toward the sky. At first, there was only darkness, then a faint glimmer appeared high above. The light grew steadily brighter and larger, cutting through the clouds as it descended at an astonishing speed. The object became clearer with every passing second, its shape unmistakably artificial. A smile slowly formed on her lips as she watched.
Words would no longer be enough. It merely stood to reason that since persuasion had failed, then immediate action was the only remaining solution.
Just before the object could crash into the rooftop and reduce the entire structure to rubble, its speed dropped sharply. It slowed until it hovered mere inches above the surface. A loud woosh echoed across the roof as steam burst from vents lining the frame. The door opened gradually, thick smoke spilling outward and crawling along the ground.
From within the haze, a shadow stepped forward.
She was tall, dark-skinned, with striking gold eyes that reflected the city lights. Her light blue hair was pulled back into a long, spiral-like ponytail that flowed behind her. A tiara rested on her head, its jewel catching the glow of the surrounding lights. Her outfit clung closely to her figure, exposing her midriff and thighs, and even the lower parts of her generous breasts. Its design clearly had been made to command attention rather than modesty.
"Ah, just the person I was waiting for. I hope it was not too difficult finding this planet," Nemesis said, her tone casual yet confident.
The newcomer scoffed as she stepped fully onto the rooftop, a whip coiled loosely in her hand.
"Here I was expecting to be greeted by Golden Darkness herself, and instead I find a group of little girls. I assume you were the one who sent the message. Tell me why I'm here."
Her eyes were fixed on Nemesis. In response, Nemesis smirked and casually tossed her one of the sweets she had been holding. Azenda caught it without effort, examining it briefly before looking back with a questioning expression.
"It is a tradition in this world, especially on this day, to give out gifts," Nemesis replied. "Consider it a welcome gesture. It is nice to finally meet you face-to-face. My name is Nemesis, and that over there is Mea."
"I cannot say the feeling is mutual," the woman said as she crossed her arms beneath her chest, the fabric tightening slightly and pushing up her already-prominent breasts as she did so. "Still, since we're doing business together, you may call me Azenda. Azenda the Tyrant."

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, and my other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters, Steel Eyed Faker soon to be 3 chapters, Hound having 3 and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.