Beta read by Shigiya, Paragon of Awesomeness and FabledLife
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This ballot had been a disaster in Rin's opinion. The young swordswoman wondered if her poor mistress was cursed with bad luck at this rate, contemplating whether she should even hire a shaman to perform a ritual to cleanse any lingering bad spirits. It was an idea she would have once scoffed at, given its superstitious nature. But after discovering the existence of aliens — of all things — she had started to question what other things she once dismissed as nonsense that might actually be real.
Regardless, had their plan gone smoothly, Saki would be paired with Emiya right now, the two of them walking hand in hand through the forest. They would have deliberately taken the scariest path, ensuring their mistress was sufficiently frightened, prompting Emiya to play the hero. The experience would strengthen their bond, and by the end of the night, the stage would be set for a kiss that would seal the deal — securing his place in the Tenjoin household as Saki's future husband.
Instead, here Rin was, forced to participate in this ridiculous challenge herself, alongside the boy she still had a hard time believing was in any way related to Emiya. Worst of all, Saki wasn't even part of the activity, having inexplicably given up her position to that alien princess over some kind of deal Rin did not know of.
"Um, Kujo-san? Are you feeling okay?"
Lost in her thoughts, she had almost forgotten she wasn't alone.
"Rin? Can you hear me? Is everything okay with you?"
She sensed the boy stepping closer, his hand about to reach for her shoulder. Without hesitation, she unsheathed her wooden sword in one swift motion, pressing the tip firmly against the center of his forehead.
"Ah!" Rito yelped, freezing in place and not daring to move a muscle.
"Take one step closer to me," Rin warned, her tone sharp as steel, "and I promise I will break your bones — even if that upsets your brother. Also, I would prefer if you just call me by my family name. I do not believe that we're close enough for you to call me by my given name."
Her mood was already foul, and being paired with him of all people only made it worse. This boy was the complete opposite of Emiya. Spineless, weak, and infamous for stumbling into compromising situations with girls that were borderline sexual harassment to the point of absurdity, she had no intention of letting herself become another of his victims. Which was why she was determined to keep up her guard around him constantly.
"S-Sorry! You just looked so spaced out that I got worried for a second! I swear I wasn't trying to do anything weird!" he stammered, his hands raised in surrender.
She scrutinized his frightened expression before sighing, realizing she might have overreacted. "Hah, no, don't apologize… It's my mistake. I was indeed lost in thought." With a flick of her wrist, she lowered her sword, though she kept her sharp gaze on him. "Forgive me. I'm just not in the best mood today. And given your… questionable history with women, I got a bit defensive."
"Questionable?"
"Do you deny you have an insatiable lust and frequently take advantage of every unassuming girl in your vicinity by sexually harassing them with excessive levels of groping that even the principal worship the ground you walk on and is planning to make you Student of the Year?" she asked with a completely straight face.
"That's not true!" Rito protested with clear horror at what he heard. "I don't do any of that stuff intentionally! And I am not worshipped by the principal! I-I just accidentally end up tripping in general, and well… it just so happened to be around a few women coincidentally."
She arched an eyebrow. "Once or twice would be forgiven as an accident. Even three times, I could understand. But ever since you began attending Sainan High, your frequent 'clumsiness' has directly led to you groping girls at least once a day. There's no way someone can be that much of an airhead. No one accidentally stumbles time after time in such a specific manner that their hands or even their face always end up inside someone's shirt or under their skirt."
"I swear, I really don't do it on purpose!" he whined. "My brother says it's because I'm clumsy, and I'm trying my best to get rid of that habit every single day! And just so you know, I haven't fallen on anyone recently!"
She doubted that but chose not to comment. Especially when she recalled a few moments with him 'accidentally' ending up making Lala Deviluke's younger sister, Nana, one of his victims. She hoped that at least his own little sister was safe from his perversions… She probably had nothing to fear there. The siblings seemed to get along quite well.
"Look," she said with a sigh, crossing her arms and easing her stance slightly. "Consider yourself lucky you're Emiya Shirou's brother; otherwise, I'd have left you behind five minutes ago. This whole challenge was supposed to be for Saki-sama and your brother only—not the entire class getting dragged into it. So let's just find the checkpoint and go our separate ways before your legendary clumsiness strikes again."
Best to take a more neutral approach with him for now; she needed to be on Emiya's good side, and the easiest ways the girl had discovered always involved his siblings in one way or another. Not that she planned on doing anything nefarious or devious, for it did not suit her code of honor — unless she was doing it for Saki-sama.
Hearing her words, the boy's eyes gleamed with innocent joy. "Sure, I don't mind! I do feel really safe around you, Kujo-san. If any ghosts or monsters show up, I know you'll just cut them down easily with your sword!"
She blinked, momentarily taken aback. "Hm? You have quite a bit of faith in someone you barely interact with," Rin remarked, arching an eyebrow.
Even at school, their interactions had been few and far between, certainly not enough for him to claim to know her so well. Even the handful of times they spoke to one another had consisted almost solely of her asking him about his brother's whereabouts or wanting him to pass on a message. For him to sound so confident in her abilities was unexpected, if not a little surprising. A welcome surprise, though.
"Of course, I feel safe around you, even if we haven't talked much," Rito replied without hesitation. "I've heard a lot about you from my brother, and from that alone, I know I can trust you."
Despite herself, Rin felt her chest puff up slightly, which was the closest thing to the pride she allowed herself to feel. Even if the praise came from him, she was more than willing to accept it.
If Emiya's siblings approved of her skills, then what could the older brother do? Nothing at all.
As they continued walking through the forest, an eerie atmosphere surrounded them. Perhaps due to the topic of conversation, neither one of them felt scared or even apprehensive. She noted that he was also getting lost in his thoughts, looking mindlessly ahead.
'Where are all those obstacles and monsters Saki-sama set up? We have not encountered a single one!'
This went on for another minute until Rito stopped and turned around while scratching the back of his head. "By the way, I'm sorry that you got me as your partner instead of my brother. I can tell you really wanted to spar with him again," Rito added with an awkward chuckle. "Not that this is the most ideal location for such a thing."
"Contrary to popular belief, I am not always thinking about fighting him at any given opportunity." Well, at least not entirely — but she wasn't about to admit that. "Have you been seeing me as some sort of battle maniac this entire time, Yuuki-kun?"
"…"
The boy froze once more, his silence giving her the answer she wanted. Seeing him get so flustered and start showing signs of panicking turned out to be somewhat fun, she understood, even a little, why Emiya always like to tease people.
Regardless, she continued. "I merely respect his strength and use him as my personal whetstone to sharpen my skills and assess my level as a kendoka."
"Really? That sounds like a pretty… um, complicated relationship," Rito noted, emphasizing the word complicated heavily.
Was it? She thought her explanation made perfect sense.
"…Does he talk about me often?" she asked, more curious than she intended. Initially, Rin had meant to ask whether Emiya ever mentioned Saki in conversation, but without realizing it, she had brought herself up instead.
"Nii-san? Well, he doesn't really share much about his personal life, if that's what you're asking," Rito admitted with a helpless smile. "He's actually pretty secretive about those kinds of things — even Mikan has to play detective at times to get anything out of him. We mostly just talk about things we've seen or experienced together. Ah, you're familiar with his secret, right?"
"I am. You refer to his ability to use what I can only describe as magic and that Lala is an alien princess he is engaged to."
"Yeah, so up until this whole mess, I never even suspected my brother was a magician, of all things, let alone that he was set to marry an alien princess. It completely caught us off guard." His tone softened slightly as he continued. "I've known him for as long as I can remember. He's always been there, taking care of us even better than our own mom. And yet, not once have I ever seen him use magic before all this. He spends most of his spare time in the shed, so I guess he could have learned how to use magic there somehow."
"How did you learn about it? He's been pretty adamant on keeping that a secret from what I understand." She asked curiously, to which the boy chuckled awkwardly.
"Actually… Nii-san doesn't know that I kinda know this. When I was delivering a few drinks to dad, I saw Zastin and his crew helping him draw some manga panels. I got curious and saw they were using some footage as reference for the illustrations which happened to be my brother shooting them with arrows and swords."
"..."
Putting the last part to the side and pushing back the idea of telling Emiya this and seeing his reaction. The part about him being secretive was something Rin could agree with. For all his qualities, Emiya had a frustrating tendency to keep his mouth shut about important matters. It was a relief to know she wasn't the only one being kept in the dark.
"I'm sorry we ended up messing up your plans to get him and Tenjoin-san together," Rito added, rubbing the back of his head. "But it's not too late. We could still change things up and make it happen. And while we're at it, maybe we can try helping a few other people with their relationship goals, too?"
Others? Rin had a hard time recalling anyone who would need this kind of help. Most of the pairings had been between two girls, and there was no way she was going to help a random person she did not even know. For him to suggest this had to mean…
"You just want to be with Sairenji, don't you?" Rin stated rather than asked, having figured out his true goal. It was no secret that Rito had a crush on Haruna. Pretty much everyone in school already knew about it except the two people in question. She had even heard there was a betting pool on how long it would take and who would be the one asking the other out. "Who was she paired with again? Oh, right, the nurse. It shouldn't be too hard, then. We could knock her out and have you meet Sairenji by pure… chance."
Rito immediately took a step back, his eyes widening in shock.
"I-I don't think that's a good idea! I wouldn't want to do such a thing," he stammered, quickly avoiding her gaze. "A-And I'm not doing this just to end up with Sairenji… I don't know why you even brought her up…"
"You don't need to act ignorant, Yuuki-kun. Even if your brother never told me the truth about your crush on Sairenji, I still would have figured it out long ago through a simple awareness of my surroundings. You do tend to make it painfully obvious. In any case, you would obviously be more happy having her as your partner in this test of courage rather than someone dangerous like me — that's what is going through your mind right now."
"It's not like that!" Rito protested. "I really didn't know how to act around you and did not wish to accidentally sour things between you and Nii-san!"
"Don't bother, things are not exactly normal between us."
"Eh, really?"
Rin shrugged. "Honestly, I feel the same way. Your brother has been avoiding me quite a bit from the beginning. Even if I want to approach him for something other than sparring or just to ask a simple question, he walks away. This would have been a good opportunity since he wouldn't have had any excuses to back out."
"You don't exactly make it easy for him," Rito muttered, clearly going on the defensive for his brother's sake. "Last time I remember seeing you, you were sprinting across the school because you heard he was fighting. That was pretty scary. Anyone would be intimidated dealing with a person like that. Nii-san likes soft-spoken girls most likely, or lively ones, so maybe you can—"
She glared at him, making him flinch.
"But, but, but — I understand your situation!" he quickly added. "I can help you if you want!"
"Help me?"
As soon as she heard that part, the girl looked at the boy in disbelief. She wondered just how he was even capable of helping her. Yet she let him talk, morbidly curious to see what kind of offer he was going to put on the table.
"Yeah! I can help you get closer to my brother and clear up any misunderstandings between you two. He's not unreasonable — he'll listen as long as you don't challenge him to a fight. He gets enough of that already. And with Celine around, I don't want anything to happen to her, or else I won't forgive you."
Rin looked at Rito for a moment, and the boy, for a brief moment, stood his ground without any fear. The silence made him visibly nervous, all of this leading her to let out a melodious chuckle.
"Surprising. I guess you're not as spineless as a jellyfish after all. I'd appreciate your help, and hopefully, things between me and Emiya will change in the future. But I won't accept this favor without giving something in return — I'll make sure you and Sairenji end up paired together."
"W-What!?" Rito exclaimed, his focus slipping as he tripped over a vine.
"Wah—!"
Whoosh!
Fortunately, Rin managed to dodge his flailing hands at the last second, but her skirt wasn't so lucky. With a loud rip, the fabric tore in half, leaving her lower half garbed in only socks and a pair of panties that was far more mature than expected from her.
"…"
"…"
Both of them froze, the forest suddenly feeling way too quiet. Rito's face went ghostly white as Rin's fingers clenched around the hilt of her weapon. The moonlight caught the wooden blade, making it look way sharper than it had any right to be. Her eyes locked onto his, and for a split second, Rito was pretty sure she'd turned into the scariest thing in the woods.
Rito stammered and began waving his hands, one of which unfortunately still clutched her torn skirt. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! It was an accident!"
"No need to beg. You're Emiya's brother — you won't die so easily. Just a couple of bruises and a dozen or so broken bones will suffice as a slap on the wrist… I'm sure he will understand."
"You call that a slap on the wrist!?"
Just as she was about to strike, rustling sounds echoed nearby. A head of pink hair emerged from the darkness, curious eyes blinking at the scene.
"Oh my, did I come at a bad time?"
"Momo? What are you doing here?" Rito exclaimed, sighing in relief as he narrowly escaped death's grip — though not without a few scrapes from his fall. At least he wouldn't be leaving this forest completely covered in welts and bruises. Then he realized how she may see him at this moment.
"This isn't what it looks like! I just got my foot caught in a vine and—"
"Oh, you don't have to explain. I can already guess what happened," Momo interrupted, waving a dismissive hand before turning her attention to her phone. Her expression immediately shifted into something more serious as she stared at the screen.
"Damn it… so they're not here either. Where the hell did they go?" she muttered under her breath. "Did he realize what was going on? No, that can't be true."
Her tone was loud enough to catch Rito's attention, and even Rin — who was still fuming — paused upon noticing the concern in the princess's voice.
"Did something happen?" Rito asked, slowly pushing himself off the ground. He still had Rin's skirt in his hand, though the moment the swordswoman noticed, she quickly snatched it back. However, her expression soured further upon realizing it was far too ruined to be worn again.
"Oh, nothing… just… um… making sure everything is going according to plan," Momo replied with a thin smile, though it was clear she was trying to deflect. "We wouldn't want any… incidents, now would we? Um, by the way, have you two seen Emiya and my mama passing through here, by any chance?"
"We haven't seen anything. No obstacles or 'scary monsters' to speak of, let alone another group. It actually feels like we've been walking in a circle for the last few minutes. You wouldn't happen to know what's going on?" asked Rin. This entire event was organized by her mistress and, later on, Momo, so if anyone had an idea, it would be her.
But all she got was a head shake.
…
This was not going as planned, Momo was in a state of distress and dread.
Her plan did consist of changing Emiya's perspective and having the girls around him willingly join the harem of their own volition. Not an impossible plan. Her sister, while a wildcard, would just care about being with him. The nurse, Mikado Ryouko, could not get a read on.
She was flirtatious around him, to be sure, but whether or not she would be willing to share him remained a mystery. Then there was Risa, Saki, and all these other girls she had to take into account. Most of them, Momo was confident, would be easy to convince, while others not so much. But with time and just letting Emiya work his magic on them, she was certain that it would eventually work out.
However, with Haruna, she was not sure what to do. Whether that girl had feelings for him or not remained a mystery. But seeing how she interacted with Emiya's brother, she might have to push her off the list.
'But that plan does not include having my own mother join the harem! She'll just break the scale and might make Papa go berserk!' Granted, her mother was not someone who liked harems in general. In the beginning, she was even afraid that her plan would be endangered because of her presence— now she feared the possibility that the woman would become part of the harem in the first place!
This needed to be stopped at all costs!
For the safety of the galaxy and her harem plan!
But first, she needed to address one thing.
"What are you two doing?" Momo wondered, looking back at the two people following her across the forest. Eyelids twitching, one of them moved around in just her underwear, and the other had a wooden katana being held up to his throat in order to make sure he was not going to have any more 'accidents.' Not exactly the best company for stealth, they stuck out like sore thumbs.
"We're following you," Rin answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. This put further strain on Momo's patience.
"I can see that. I am asking why you are following ME. Same with you, Rito. You two are supposed to take the main path and reach the end of the test of courage. If people see you're missing, then they might get worried." Trying to convince them to go back proved to be a fruitless endeavor when all she got as an answer was a simple shrug from Rin.
"There have been no obstacles or challenges or anything remotely scary so far. That means something may have gone wrong, and it's my responsibility to fix the issue." Rin's voice was steady, but her gaze sharpened as she studied the princess. "Also, you're acting very suspicious. Now, tell me — why are you looking for Yuuki Emiya Shirou?"
Wow. No subtlety at all. The more Momo spoke with this girl, the more obvious it became that Rin was the type to cut straight to the point, and she seemed almost as good at seeing through bullcrap as Emiya himself. There was no use in trying to deflect or make her leave.
"I have my reasons," Momo replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "If you're going to get in the way, then don't both—hmmph!"
Before she could finish, Rin swiftly clamped a hand over Momo's mouth, silencing her in an instant. She did the same to Rito, ignoring his confused sputtering. Her sharp eyes locked onto something deeper within the woods, scanning the area intently.
Understanding the signal, both of the others turned their heads ever so slowly, careful not to make a sound. Their gazes followed Rin's, landing on two figures walking through the forest.
Covered in leaves and dirt, the pair had clearly run into a few obstacles along the way. Momo's eyes widened the moment she recognized them — her mother and Emiya, the latter having a familiar Plantas child sitting on his shoulders. Unlike the two, Celine remained perfectly clean without a trace of dirt anywhere.
She looked to be fully enjoying the experience all the while chewing on his hair with loud 'noms noms noms!'.
Something that the redhead did not seem to mind or care about.
"Wasn't that fun!" her mother's voice rang out, filled with excitement and childlike energy. She practically bounced around Emiya, grinning from ear to ear. "I never imagined I'd have so much fun going through a challenge like this! It's been so long since my heart raced like that!"
"Mau!" Celine agreed with her before resuming her chewing.
Emiya, on the other hand, looked completely unbothered. His usual stoic demeanor remained intact as he brushed a few stray leaves off his shirt.
"I wonder what else my daughter has in store for us! Whatever it is, let's face it together!" her mother cheered, fists clenched in cheerful determination.
"You sound awfully confident for someone who very recently got caught in a basic trap and dangled upside down for five minutes," Emiya deadpanned. "I told you not to run ahead without me. You didn't listen."
"It's not my fault!" her mother huffed. "I definitely heard Lala's cute little voice calling out for help…"
"And I kept telling you that the voice could not be Lala. She wouldn't be calling for help just because of a stomach ache; that voice did not even sound like Lala — it sounded like a child!" he exclaimed, the description of the incident making Momo suspect they must have encountered a Mimic Lily.
"I couldn't help it. What kind of mother would ignore their daughter's plea?"
A plant who, as the name implied, mimicked the voices of people, being especially gifted at mimicking young girls. The one she'd used for the test of courage was one of the oldest in her collection, which once heard her sister's voice back when they were still much younger.
"One who can distinguish between their child's actual voice and an imitation. You even saw the plant before you got caught. Why did you approach it?"
"I had to make sure it had not eaten her."
"Last I checked, Lala holds enough strength to break human bones without much effort and has inventions capable of altering space and time. Pretty sure a mimic plant would not have been of any danger to her. Worst of all, it almost ended up eating you," he reminded her, sighing while she hummed with a large smile on her face. "Just stay close to me next time, and don't run off. It'll make it easier for me to protect you."
Sephie covered her mouth behind the veil, with eyes shining with amusement. "Oh my, it's like having my own knight in shining armor~! But you underestimate me too much. My species may not be combat-oriented, but I can still protect myself. Just trust me~!"
She then tried to get a hold of Celine, only for him to push her face away. The beautiful woman just laughed.
"Given your recent experience, I'd rather not take any risks," he insisted, pushing past the dense leaves and guiding Sephie with her hand in his. "Watch your step, it's slippery here with all the mud."
"Ah, this will be a problem. This… I don't think this is a good idea."
Momo, who continued to eavesdrop, let out a sigh of relief. Her mother was someone who preferred to avoid dirtying her clothes. It was a miracle how she managed to come this far after that last trial, but walking through knee-deep muddy water definitely went past her comfort zone.
Now all she needed was to wait for her to give up and go back to the starting ar—
"For someone who's all energetic for the next challenge, you sure did throw in the towel quite easily. Hah, in any case, I can carry you across. It'll make getting to the end easier," Emiya offered, much to her horror. This caused Momo to choke on air and had both Rin and Rito look at her with concern. "It's best if you do not remain here all by yourself, and we're probably near the end already, so going back will just waste more time."
No! Not a good idea! Momo wanted to jump down there and strangle the man for suddenly being all considerate and caring for her mother out of nowhere! Why wasn't she treated the same way?
Worst of all, the Sephie did not immediately refuse and even seemed to seriously contemplate. Watching all of this from her hidden corner, Momo felt a sense of urgency at that very moment.
If things kept going at this rate, she did not want to imagine what would happen if she turned her attention away for even a minute! Especially when she recalled one of the challenges out there: having a plant that secreted a sticky substance that ate through cloth!
"You!" She whispered, pointing at Rin, grabbing her D-Dial, and going through the list of different plants, all from different planets and of varying levels of danger. "You want to spend more time with Emiya, right? And you too, Rito, you'll need to help me so that your brother does not end up causing a war with my dad!"
"E-eh, w-wait, what are you talking about—" Having no time to even discuss the matter further, Momo's eyes went to one particular plant in her collection. Taking into account the surroundings and how she did not want to accidentally hurt anyone, this should be more than enough.
"I'll separate those two; either you or Rin or both will join up Emiya by pure 'chance', and I'll handle my mother." She muttered quickly, the screen of her D-Dial shining with a bright light with several strands of vines appearing. Still seeing some hesitation on the boy's face, an idea crossed her mind. "I'll help you hook up with Haruna! By the end of this, you two will definitely be doing the horizontal tango!"
Rito sputtered and blushed, but Momo had no time for that.
"Hold on," Rin protested. "I still don't have anything to cover my bottom half other than panties! Also, who are you to order me? I only follow Saki-sama's orders."
"He's seen Onee-sama naked countless times, so don't worry about that."
"That's not what I mean!"
She paid no attention to Rin's outraged voice, watching more vines sprout until the head of a Venus flytrap-like plant came forth — good, it looked scary enough. The creature looked at her even though it possessed no eyes. Understanding her intent, it buried itself within the earth and made its way towards the duo before her.
She really hoped this was going to be enough.
{Break}
(Around the same time)
Something in his gut told him that things were about to get hectic. The test of courage was proceeding along smoothly for the most part, so long as he did not count the prior incident with Sephie getting lured away.
"Carrying me the whole way? How bold of you. The only man who's ever held me in such a way is my husband," Sephie teased, her voice dripping with playful mischief. "Though I suppose you'd have to resist the temptation to 'accidentally' feel up my perfectly sculpted and supple—ah!"
With a gentle chop to the forehead, he gave her the same treatment as Lala whenever she started doing crazy things. Except this woman had an overblown imagination, and every one of her mental scenarios seemed to involve her getting groped or assaulted.
…He was starting to understand where Momo must have gotten that side of her personality.
"If you go on a tangent again, I'll send you back to Planet Deviluke myself."
"What kind of son-in-law hits their poor mother-in-law like that!" she exclaimed while pouting and huffing. But not declining his idea, she slowly started to look at him with an uncertain gaze. "…I suppose it's not that bad to try such scandalous activities. I am an empress after all, and deserve to indulge every once in a while."
She behaved as if they were about to commit adultery. Not having the energy to nip that idea in the bud, he just ignored it and moved on. "Good, now stay still."
First, he removed Celine from his shoulders and held the girl firmly in one arm. She resisted at first, not wanting to lose her favorite seat, and kept pulling on his hair, but with some convincing, she let go.
"A-Ah, will it be a piggyback where my soft large breasts press against your strong back while I embrace you from behind, or the princess carry which normally only lovers get to enjoy before moving to the bed—hya!?" Unfortunately for her, he was going for neither option and picked up the method that seemed to work well with the daughter initially.
Grabbing onto her waist, and threw the woman over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes, showing off her prominent rear on display.
"Don't move too much, or else I might end up dropping you," he said with a slight smirk when hearing the woman gasp. Standing over muddy water, wet soil, and the occasional passing insect, she saw that it was in her best interest to stay still.
Even so, Sephie hit his back with her fists a couple of times, a cute pout on her face, "Not even Gid ever had the nerve to pick me up like this!"
"There really is a first time for everything."
"How come Ryouko described you as someone caring and sweet when you are being so rude to your dear mother-in-law?" she whined, while not actually struggling to get out of his grasp. "You could at least be a dear and use a more comfortable position to hold me."
"I'm not going to carry you all the way to the finish line, this is just to get out of the muddy area. After that, you'll have to walk on your own again. Also, my hands are full carrying you two, so unless you want me to put you down here, keep quiet." She huffed but said nothing, letting him trudge forward through the muddy waters in silence. "As for the Ryouko part, well her views on me are a bit biased. Don't trust everything she says about me, they tend to be very exaggerated at times."
"Like how the more someone sees of you, the more you seem like an old man stuck in a young boy's body. Even your hobbies are mostly house chores, cooking, cleaning, and raising kids. Oh, and there's also that way you act like you don't care but somehow always end up being the first one to lend a helping hand to anyone who knocks on your door, even if they are your enemies!"
"…"
Just what the hell had those two been talking about!? Did they get all of this from generic shounen anime and put him as the main character? Had one of his hands been free, he would have rubbed his temples. Emiya tried to think of a way to answer that question without further adding to the misunderstandings.
"The only enemy I have aided so far that is still alive is Yami. And perhaps Run, if we stretch it a bit. As the Empress, you must have heard about Lacospo's death. Does that sound to you like someone who goes around helping everyone and anyone?"
He felt her shift behind his back, tapping it with her fingers as if it were a table. "Heeeeh, I suppose you are right in that instance. Gid wouldn't stop replaying the footage when we received it."
"Your husband watches a video of me killing Lacospo regularly?" It felt rather unsettling to hear that the emperor of the galaxy did that.
"It's not the strangest thing I have seen him do. Gid is like a small child at times, both literally and figuratively. Whenever he hears rumors about a powerful warrior who could relieve him of his boredom, he tries to find out everything about them. And recently, you have been the target of his fascination."
A chilling shudder went up his spine, and that sounded very dangerous.
"Forgive me for being blunt, but your husband is a nutjob. As his wife, I would prefer if you could help him focus on other things more important than my own captured footage."
Like running the galaxy, for example. He was certain that for such a big territory, there had to be no shortage of matters that needed to be handled by its ruler.
"Fufufu~! Honestly, it's like seeing a small child getting all worked up and excited about a toy he's going to receive soon. But don't worry, I will make sure that nothing will happen to you, as Lala would be very sad if that were to be the case."
"Oooh!"
"Hm?" Emiya, however, suddenly stopped in his tracks when Celine started to pull his cheeks with more force. She was getting more restless and even patting his face for attention. "Is something the matter?"
"Mau! Mau!" She pointed down, where he quickly saw faint ripples forming on the surface of the water.
"An earthquake?" he muttered.
At first, the tremor was faint, almost imperceptible. But then, it intensified. The ground beneath them quivered, and ripples spread across a puddle nearby. His instincts flared up in warning, honed through years of combat. Without hesitation, he leaped into the air.
"Wah—!"
A split second later, several thick vines burst from the ground, lashing out in an attempt to ensnare him. They coiled aggressively around the spot where he had stood just moments ago, tightening like a trap ready to snap shut.
"Look out behind you!" Sephie's urgent warning reached his ears.
"Hold onto Celine!"
Reacting instantly, Emiya traced a chained dagger into existence with his now freed hand, hurling it toward a distant tree. The blade buried itself deep into the trunk, and with a forceful tug, he swung his body in mid-air, narrowly avoiding another wave of writhing tendrils shooting up from the ground. More of them emerged, lashing out from multiple directions.
"Tch, this can't be part of the test of courage," he muttered, landing in a defensive stance. His eyes darted toward the ever-expanding mass of hostile plant life. "Did the plants Momo implanted here go rogue?"
He would not be able to keep up at this rate, with more and more showing up and making his window dodge smaller and smaller until practically every bit of space around them got filled with this creature's vines. Even Emiya started to struggle to avoid them all while carrying and protecting two noncombatants. He could not keep this going forever; he knew Momo asked him not to kill any of her plants, but this was obviously not how they were supposed to behave. He'd find a way to apologize to her later.
A moment later, Kanshou appeared within his grasp, which he used to cut through the many vines around him. Each swing made it easier for them to move around and reduce their overall numbers.
"—!"
A loud shriek came from below. The ground started to crumble and a large plant burst from beneath, resembling a Venus flytrap but much larger and with razor-sharp teeth. It was very similar in appearance to Celine's first form. Several more swords formed around him, all of them firing simultaneously. Only a few of them managed to hit the target, the plant proving to be faster than he expected, and it dodged most of the weapons by burrowing underground and reemerging somewhere else.
The few cuts he managed to deal with only served to enrage it further.
"Recognize this plant?" he asked Sephie, looking around to see if there were any other plants about to ambush him.
"Um, it looks kind of familiar, but I am not certain of its species," Sephie admitted with an embarrassed voice.
He had two options at that moment, either leave this place as fast as he could and escape or finish the fight and make sure this monster would not go after the others… "It's not really a choice. Sorry about this."
"Eh, what do you—no!"
The next moment he let go of the woman who immediately fell into the muddy water. Her dress got completely soaked with mud which also completely covered her face and hair. The woman's beauty immediately became hidden beneath a layer of wet dirt.
Now with both hands free and no weight on him, Emiya used the opportunity to close the distance between him and the plant monster. Both married blades were held firmly as he slashed across the Venus flytrap's head in a single swing, cutting it into pieces and making sure that it would not be able to regenerate even if it had that ability.
Several chunks fell onto the ground with green liquid raining down everywhere and coating both himself and the already dirtied Sephie.
"Should have done that sooner."
The creature itself wasn't particularly dangerous to him, but its ability to rapidly spawn countless vines made it an annoying obstacle — especially since he had to ensure Sephie remained unharmed while dealing with it. Dismissing his Traced swords, Emiya stepped back toward the Empress, extending a hand to help her to her feet.
Even with her face partially covered in dirt, he could practically feel the intensity of her glare burning holes through his skull.
Gingerly, he wiped away some of the dirt clinging to her face. "Hey, at least you don't have to worry about your pheromones attracting anything around us anymore. All this dirt practically acts as a natural container for your abilities."
His attempt at humor didn't land as he had hoped. If anything, the Empress' expression darkened further. Sighing, Emiya rubbed the back of his head, knowing he had no regrets about his actions but still feeling the need to make amends.
"…Sorry."
"What a gentleman indeed," Sephie remarked sarcastically.
He had no response for that, knowing anything he said would likely dig him into a deeper hole. At the very least, he resolved to prepare a grand feast for her before she returned home, hoping it would serve as an apology. But as he moved to pick her up once more, something felt off.
"Wait… where's Celine?"
That question made Sephie freeze, her prior frustration momentarily replaced by confusion.
"Celine? I was holding her. She should be right—eh?"
Looking down, she realized that instead of the cheerful plant girl, she was holding nothing more than a rotting tree branch covered in moss.
"Where is Celine?!"
"Mau!"
Their answer came immediately from behind them. Both turned in alarm, their eyes widening in alarm as they spotted Celine dangling upside down, held by another plant-like creature. The tiny girl was suspended over the edge of a steep ravine, dozens of meters deep, with jagged rocks at the bottom.
"Another mimic?!" Emiya recognized the same type of creature they had encountered before. The first mimic still lay defeated, a gaping wound in its body, but this one seemed completely unfazed. Unlike them, however, Celine appeared completely unbothered by her predicament. She giggled and waved her tiny arms cheerfully as if enjoying the ride.
"Don't move!" Sephie shouted as if the plant would somehow listen. It gazed at Celine, who looked like she was communicating with it. After several sounds from her, it started to loosen its hold.
"Don't talk to it!" Emiya shouted while trying to get closer.
Without hesitation, the creature loosened its grip, letting Celine drop straight toward the abyss below.
"—!"
He launched himself forward, pushing his body to the limit as he dove off the edge, arms outstretched.
He barely had a second to register that he wasn't the only one who reacted—Sephie had leaped alongside him, her expression one of sheer determination.
"Ah—!"
All three of them plummeted.
Emiya twisted midair, positioning himself to shield Celine and Sephie with his body. Holding on to both of them tightly and reinforcing his body to endure the fall without it causing too much damage.
They smashed through layers of vegetation and rolled down a small hill before finally hitting the ground with a resounding thud. Falling onto a pond of water. Luckily, the fall itself was not that high, and other than a few scrubs, he suffered no major bruises or even any broken bones. More importantly, the two individuals he held in his arms were mostly unharmed, with both him and Sephie holding onto Celine.
"Mau!"
The child cheered, laughing brightly with the biggest smile on her face. The sight made him momentarily forget about what had happened, and he let out a small chuckle. "You are the only one I know who would find falling from such a height fun. Either you have no sense of danger or you trust me at being too much."
She answered him by yawning, then rested her head on his chest and slowly dozed off into sleep, having grown tired from all the chaos.
"I suppose that answers it. how are you faring? Oh…" Unfortunately for him, his troubles did not end there and the first thing he saw upon checking the Empress to make sure she was all right was the sound of something ripping apart. The previously beautiful pink dress that had been dirtied along the veil slowly started to vanish right before his eyes, being eaten away by some strange liquid.
"…"
"…"
Both of them are frozen in their spots, Sephie not moving an inch as in a matter of seconds she now sat on top of him without any clothes on. Worst of all, Emiya found his own clothes going through the same thing as hers, disappearing a few moments later.
"Before you say or do anything, I am not going to force myself on you."
Slowly but surely, her face started to blush, but rather than a gasp of shock or even cover herself, even if there was so much to cover, she instead started to laugh. Her shoulders trembling as she covered her mouth but was unable to stop herself from laughing louder.
"Hahahaha!"
This went on for another minute before she managed to calm herself down. She wiped a tear from her eyes and looked at him with a wide smile, not seeming to care that she was naked on top of him. "Things are never boring around you, there is always something happening. No wonder Lala has so much fun."
In a way, he agreed with that statement. As much as he wished for a boring life as she put it, things were always happening around him making that goal harder day by day.
"You were pretty fast back then, and here I thought that your only special ability was your charm." for her to be able to catch Celine around the same time as him could not be achievable through regular means. She did not even use her wings back there.
"An empress such as myself also has her secrets," she said with an amused smile. "I can't remember when was the last time I felt so much adrenaline. Even now, my heart keeps beating loudly, showing no signs of calming down anytime soon! I might become jealous of my daughters at this rate, they get to have all the fun while I need to handle the Empire's affairs and babysit Gid."
"Trust me, you'll get sick of it over time." As he finished talking, his ears picked up the sound of footsteps drawing closer to the location. Not a few seconds later, he saw Momo run toward them with a panicked expression. As much as he wanted to scold her for having these uncontrollable monster plants be used for such a simple event.
The girl probably did not intend to cause any harm, and from the look on her face, she must have felt awful. So just for today, he was going to keep his silence and only bring it up when they were back home. But first, he needed to make sure Momo did not misunderstand the situation.
"Now, I know this looks bad. But you have to believe me when I say that your mother and I have nothing going on." He saw the girl rush towards him, to his surprise, wrapping her arms around him tightly. "Eh, Momo?"
"…"
She said nothing, continuing to hold him silently without showing signs of letting go anytime soon.
"Oh my, a family hug! I always wanted one."
Of course, Sephie joined in, grabbing onto everyone. Her large bare, and very soft, chest pressed against his face, and feeling the bright pink nipple poking his cheek, giving him a very strong sense of deja vu.
"Nii-san!"
Ah, even Rito was here? Well, he did not look injured and was in good shape. One less thing to be worried about, though he wondered why it was in her underwear.
"W-Why are you two naked!? Ah!" The brown-haired boy immediately covered his eyes. Despite having seen Sephie's full figure he hadn't lost control. Whether it was because he grew resistant to the pheromones or possessed enough self-control did not matter.
At that, Emiya couldn't help but feel a sense of pride.
.
.
.
(A few minutes later)
The fire burned as the bonfire prepared by Saki and her group lit the surroundings. Finally enough, the others were still in the middle of the trial and his group and Rito's were the first ones to come out first. Now all that remained was to wait for the others to join and for them to be done with this event for good.
Emiya went back to the manor to put Celine to sleep. Rito went ahead to fetch some refreshments for them, Rin had to change her clothes which only left Momo alone with her mother who now was wearing a large tracksuit.
The woman was oddly quiet, having not uttered a word since the beginning. She just continued to smile and enjoy the brightness while Momo started to feel more and more paranoid. Finally, after what felt like ages, Sephie broke her silence.
"I have to admit Momo, today's event went along quite nicely. Even though there were some bumps along the way, I don't think I will have as much fun for a long time." She said calmly, "It's a shame I have to go back tomorrow. I would have loved to spend more time with my children."
"Glad you enjoyed it, Mama." She put on a smile, not wanting to show any signs of anxiety and relief festering within her at the idea that her mother might have started to suspect anything and was finally going back home.
"You too seem to have a lot of fun today, I never saw you make such a face before."
"R-Really? Hehehe, I-I was just worried when I heard something crash and quickly went over to check. Good thing I was nearby." The longer This conversation went on, the more she started to believe that her mother suspected nothing and her mind began to calm down. "I can send you an invite the next time we try something similar, this time I'll make sure that things don't become so chaotic."
The woman chuckles come out giving a daughter a side eye with a light smirk on her face. "Are you sure you want to do that? After all, wouldn't I be getting in the middle of your little plan?"
"—!?"
Momo froze upon hearing that, goosebumps spreading all over. She turned mechanically like a robot as she exchanged gazes with Sephie. "I-I don't know what you're ta-talking about, mama… w-what do you mean by my plan?"
"You like him," Sephie stated with unwavering certainty, her eyes twinkling with maternal insight that left no room for denial. "At first, I was not sure what you were doing. There was clearly something there, yet instead of pursuing Emiya directly, you've been orchestrating things from the shadows. Introducing him to other girls, creating situations where they can get closer to him. Not once have I seen you try to eliminate your competition—instead, you're practically gift-wrapping opportunities for them."
She wanted to vehemently deny those claims, but when her mother squinted her eyes as if challenging her to do so, Momo found herself unable to say anything.
"I know you, Momo; you are my beloved daughter. Which means I also know that you would ever so much as consider stealing your elder sister's fiancé from her."
No, she would not deceive Lala in such a way. Emiya was her fiancé, and she was more than happy to see them together. But… but with just more faces in the picture, so that everyone could be happy.
"Trying to form a harem, that's the only conclusion I came to."
She lowered her head even further now that the cat was out of the bag, feeling both scared and ashamed that her mother managed to figure it out so easily. Was it that obvious? She did not have enough time to work on it since it only became her goal recently, but the girl tried her best to keep it a secret.
Yet still here she was.
"Fufufu~ Why the long face, dear?" Sephie gently caressed her face, lifting it up so that they could look at one another. "Do I look like I'm angry?"
No… no, she did not.
So, did that mean that her mother was not against the plan?
"And no, I know what you're thinking, and I don't support such a plan. As much as I want to see my daughters all happy, a harem, especially in a royal family, will always lead to trouble down the line. But… I won't stop you."
"Eh?"
That caught her off guard, she was fully expecting her mother to push back this idea and force her to abandon it.
"Why?"
"Because I don't believe Shirou will fall for it." She said bluntly, the answer being different from what Momo expected to hear. "After getting to know him better, I believe I managed to somewhat get a grasp on his personality. He is… different from what you imagine. Using such devious methods to trick him will just push him away from you and end up hurting you."
Unsure of what she meant, Momo let her continue.
"If you truly want to get any kind of progress with him and get through to the young man — then it's better to just be straightforward."
Just that? Being straightforward?
She was having a hard time understanding how that could be a better method than what she had planned. Since the redhead already made it clear that he did not believe in harems, how was being straightforward going to change his mind?
Seeing her confusion, Sephie continued to pat her daughter's head lovingly. "You are a smart child, dear. Sooner or later, I know you will understand what I meant by that. Just be honest with him. He may seem stubborn, but your sister already is making a lot of progress just being herself."
If it was her mother who gave her such advice, then Momo was not going to throw it away or ignore it.
"Why even try to have others involved? Don't you want as much of him for yourself? Not that I support it, but wouldn't it be more ideal for you to compete for his love instead?"
Because she could not compete in the first place, not against her own sister. Even if she had the resolve to do so, Momo was not blind compared to Lala. She came short in practically everything. Her sister was a genius from birth, blessed with exceptional beauty and strength — ending up inheriting the best qualities from both parents.
Not just her, Momo could not see herself competing with the likes of other women in Emiya's life. Not just out of inferiority but also because she was their friend. Their happiness was just as important to her as anything else.
"I just don't want people to be disappointed. They… many of them like him and want to be with him." That was what she ended up using as an answer, keeping the rest bottled up.
"I know, but before you go thinking about them. You should put yourself first, Momo. As much as you care about them, I know most of them also care about you — including Shirou."
"Really?"
"Trust me."
She wanted to ask how exactly he cared about her. Like a friend, just as his fianceé's sister, or something more? Unfortunately, asking this question led Sephie to just chuckle and return her attention back to the bonfire.
This meant she needed to figure things out on her own.
Still, she felt grateful. Her mother did not strike down her plan or scold her. Providing advice and warmth she grew to miss ever since they left their home planet. Leaning against her, she let herself fall asleep to the sound of the fire crackling.
"I'll try my best, Mama."
"I know you will. All four of you are my precious gems; nothing in this universe can stop you."
Wait, four?
"I've been thinking that perhaps we should officially impart Celine with the royal family name."
"…"
Best to ignore that part, she could imagine the turmoil taking place in her home world if her mother brought a Plantas child out of nowhere to declare her as the fourth princess.
Though she wouldn't be against it.
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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, and my other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters, Steel Eyed Faker soon to be 3 chapters, Hound having 3 and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.