Who am I? Was the question I posed to myself again, and again as I moved around the banquet hall, waiting for someone to reaffirm it to me. But it never appeared; all I took was blow after blow to the existence of Captivant again and again as I tried to figure out whatever I needed.
My existence crumbled before me until my legs could barely move around, stripping me of my pride and leaving me on the closest seat I could find to hope the shattered pieces of who I was.
In my mind, in the deepest cove that I never allowed the light to see, unbeknownst at the time, I wished, I hoped, I prayed for it all to be a lie, for it all to be an illusion, for the reality laid out in front of me to change. And it did, as the light that I ran towards shone back on me.
A beating slams against the chests of men in a way that raises my head up from the world beneath my feet that I vanish into. And there I see soldiers in formal gowns banging their feet against their chests, which are covered in a form of decorative armoured drum that echoes sound throughout the room and brings me back to that frightening yet magnificent day.
A voice echoes through the room announcing his presence, yet I can barely make it out asWèilái stands out in front of everyone, taking the very air out of the room with his movements.
Dignified, powerful, glorious, a man whose very posture made the muscles in my neck relax, and the weight of gravity that hangs over every movement became much more pronounced.
Right now, the amalgamation of everything that he is shines a light in us all that pierces our souls despite our wishes against it, and we all almost feel the cracks from my ego spread throughout the rest of my body.
His eyes turn, and in that instant they lock with mine, before he waves towards me and for that brief second all his is, all that raptures around him falls onto me, and more than I ever thought possible, I become aware of who I am, I become aware that I am Captivant.
Moving forward, he stands in front of everyone and says, "Family, friends, allies, and those whose lives shall lead to one of those paths, I welcome you into my home.
There is much I can say, and much I should say, yet the conventional wisdom of others is merely one of the tools I use to defeat my enemies. When I speak to those whom I want to bear my soul to all, I say what my heart wants.
And today it wants to thank those who've come to see me, who've come to stand beside my legacy. My life was one in which many thought I would fail, yet you've all kept your eyes on a madman and watched as he overtook the heavens. I took on a challenge against the stagnation that covered this Continent and wished to push it forward into an age against the forces that will one day come for destruction with no weapon or tool to fight in hand. I couldn't allow such a legacy to be passed on to the future, so I rejected it and fought against it. But I couldn't do it alone.
I want to thank my wife, who, despite her absence from your sight, has supported me each day. I want to support my kids for showing me that the future is worth fighting for. I want to thank my generals, Fu, whose sword polished itself to a height unimaginable by a human, carrying on the legacy of his family and being the greatest one to stand by my side. Sovanant, whose perspective and inner strength brought great peace of mind to even the most fearful of my men, allowing them to see their inner strength. Chén, whose arrows guided my men elegantly across the battlefield, allowed each of the dishevelled forces to move in unison.
Baji, whose axe rampaged like an untold beast, showing the ferocity and power that existed within the human body, making the beasts of nature bow. Héqi, whose spiritual guidance allowed us to hear and utilise the power of the Lotus, guiding us forward towards a fate none thought we could grasp. General Shīhéng, who even in this moment watches to protect any of us from the forces that hide in the night, allowing us to feel the joy in our souls. I even thank my stead Qīnglóng, who guided me through battlefield after battlefield, allowing me to gaze upon every single soldier and infuse them with my strength. But more than any other, I thank the man you have behind you all, Captivant Adrian Nightfall."
Dá is powerful, yet a country is its people, and a man who was able to unite the people for one goal is the strongest of them all, and that man, despite no blood bond to this land, was able to understand what makes us all whole and keep us bound together. For that, I thank him and the words that spewed out from his heart. Individually, we are weak, but together, all of us, including each soldier who threw down their life creating a path for us, allowed us to reach heights and overturn faith itself. And now we shall continue moving forward towards new battlefields."
A quiet tension runs through everyone's bodies as they prepare for his next words, and from his mouth he says, "Yet those battlefields can only be conquered together, by those who stand beside us and with us. A battlefield where blood need not be shed, a battlefield where we all allow the beauty in us to turn into the gems that push forward everyday life, and together connecting all of that, we will be able to create an Enotita for each and every one of us. If we all fight for one world, there will be a world for us all."
Claps emerge from all corners of the room, and my head rises towards the roof, raptured by the words that flow through it. Amazing, not only did he speak of his glory, but he made great efforts not to offend anyone. By focusing on the strength each of the generals has instead of their victories in warfare, he was able to implicitly tell everyone that if they stand by his side, this power could also be their own, filling each and every soul with power. A way to attract allies while also calming their fears of him being a crazy warmonger. From his words, people, mostly his enemies and future investors, can expect a time of heavy economic rebuilding and growth, signalling a form of peace for everyone, which I am sure many would want to join in on. How amazing, he really played this all like a professional. What else could I expect from the crown prince of a great empire?
"Captivant?"
Hearing that name, I lower my head and then fling back for a moment as in front of me I see a swarm of people all standing around my body, covering me from each and every angle. Their eyes zone in on me like they are all staring at some kind of exotic animal, making a cold chill move down my spine.
I nod my head in response to the question of my identity, and soon the barrage of all their words blows at full power against me.
"You're Captivant?"
"A man who could even get Wèilái to thank in front of everyone."
"I knew of the grandeur of the words you put to page forever."
"I have been following you for years, and am so happy I get to see you."
"Please, if you ever have time, come have a chat with me."
"I always knew that the support you gave to Wèilái gave him the power and strength needed to overcome all the challenges placed in front of him with flying colours."
"A man who is on par with all the generals in terms of his love and strength in supporting this nation."
"I never expected you to be so handsome."
"If you'd be so kind, would you be able to tell me more about yourself? I am rather interested."
They all sing words of praise towards my shattered self, and the force of their emotions starts rebuilding the man I once was. A sick feeling rushes from the depths of my stomach, almost about to burst out over all of them.
So I cover my mouth with my hand and stand in front of them all before running away out of the banquet hall with all the force I can muster. I feel sick, this is disgusting, this is horrid, this is putrid, all of this, right now feel worst that shoving shit down my throat, and I can't say why in the slightest.
-Break-
With a small decorative basket in my hand, I spew my guts into its contents before reeling my head back, and staring out into the moon from the balcony I sit on.
"What is wrong with me!" I say with the sick feeling growing inside me by the second.
"Who knows, but let's hope it fades quickly, my brother."
Turning my head, I see Wèilái standing with a cup of water in his hand, and grabbing it, I chug it down at full speed before standing up and bowing my head as I say, "Sorry for taking your time to care for someone like me!"
"Don't worry about such a thing, I make it a point to care for all those I know." Walking forward towards the edge of the balcony, Wèilái says, "I never got to speak with all the soldiers who charged into their deaths for me, so please do not rob me of the chance to help a friend in this moment."
"I'm sorry. But I don't really know what's wrong or what could even make it better."
"I see, well, if your body reaction doesn't make sense, your soul must be heavy. So let me share my worries as well for our hearts to become connected, my heart can share your portion of suffering as well."
"Worries? You have those, oh great king guided by the lotus."
Laughing, he says, "I am many things, but a great king isn't one I would claim wholeheartedly. I still to this day worry about many things. Warfare is easy; it's merely the calculated taking of human lives. Depending on how good your generals and leaders are, you can win any battle, granted your resources and logistics are proportional to your enemy. But economics is a dragon compared to it; it's a science that comes less naturally to me, yet it not only decides all wars, but also how people organise themselves in peace. The reason it exists is to avoid slaughter, but failure to carry it out properly could lead to slaughter greater than any other, so it weighs on my mind especially as the Lotus's voice has been getting weaker."
"Huh? You mean you are no longer seeing the future?"
"Yes, the images I felt the Lotus grant to me have faded. And I don't understand why? I know there is much more to be done, and it's not as if the Lotus is rejecting me; it's just silent. A defying, terrifying silence."
Seeing his hand tremble as he stands beneath the moonlight, I open my mouth looking for what to say, but he turns with a smile on his face and says, "But it matters not! The destiny given to me to remove the pain from the future generations will not end here, as it goes far deeper than the Lotus or even my blood; it is a destiny that affects each level of the world, and for those who will come next, I shall continue forward and conquer the challenges that stand in front of me. That is what Dá Wèilái shall do till his body lies in his grave!"