waking up was the easy part, but getting up from bed suddenly became a task, last night was....
Images from yesterday kept clouding my head, I couldn't sleep, and to make it worst anytime I closed my eyes all I could see was his body, I tried to imagine it was Jason's but that didn't help at all.
I finally fell asleep later that night, but guess who came to my dreams?.
yes Kyle, this time it was even more intense than the actual experience and we were in silhouette, he taunted me, even in my dreams.
I slowly stood up, and with a sigh I started my day.
we had Sunday service today, but I didn't feel like going, I felt like a sinner and even my teddy bear agreed with me.
I ate my avocado toast like a sloth.
What is your problem? mom asked. you're not a child, it's just one toast, hurry up or we'll be late she scolded.
If only she knew what was going on in her head.
i groaned and my face fell on her hand.
I wore a knee length dress that smelt like summer, and threw in my white heels, this was the best I could do, i told myself. Hurrying down the stairs because my dad kept honking from the other side of our street, I almost slipped and fell, was this a sign? I asked myself, stay home you are overwhelmed with sin. I shook it off.
i'm coming, i'm coming i yelled.
We got to church, we made it in time, read Psalms and sang some hymns, my friend Charlie, stood in the choir section with her robe and with her angelic voice she sang, she smiled at me, and I gave a small wave, I sometimes envy Charlie, she had everything, grew up wealthy, was so Ridiculously beautiful, she was smart, and everybody loved, her good thing she didn't go to chesam, mim would have eaten her up for sure.
The preacher helped me with my weight, I felt at peace with the word he said, all I had to do was talk to God about it and he'll forgive me, it was that simple, I didn't know why I was so worked up.
After the service my mom and dad left me all ALONE to go converse with their "friends", I sat by myself for awhile before Charlie walked up to me.
I excitedly stood up to hug her, i have missed you, I said.
Me too!!, I really wanted to tell you something but I had to wait because the news would be better shared in person, She said not being able to contain her excitement.
What?, What is it?, I asked her, now getting curious.
I Got in to Harvard!!,She yelled and the closed her mouth with her hands.
Suddenly my eyes popped open, and I couldn't contain myself from screaming as well, o my God really? I am so happy for you, I said hugging her tight, i'm pretty sure she was suffocating because even I could feel how tightly I held unto her, I was just so excited.
Wait.,How, How? we are literally at the same level and I don't graduate until like late next year so how'd you get in so quick?. I asked
Well you know my sister's go there, also my boyfriend Derek, and when they come visit all they talk about is how much fun they are having at Harvard, and i'm like I wanna have fun too. So I did extra classes, I was already a class ahead in chemistry, and some others and you're looking at our class president, also my extra curricular activities where set, and i'm a devoted community worker, so yeah I applied earlier and I got in, I was shocked, because it's Harvard ,you know.
This is good news, but, I am mad at you what about our promise to leave together?, now i am gonna be all alone I pouted.
i am sorry, it was just spontaneous i guess, ANYWAYS. I am inviting you over, i'm throwing a get together at my house and you are totally invited. my mom asked your mom and she said you'd be there. She said.
oh did she now? I thought
I'll be there, of course i'm gonna come, from here to crown peak is like a thirty minutes drive right? I'll totally come. I assured. But i'm not sure about my mom and dad, Mondays are usually hectic for them.
She breathed a sigh of relief, I gat to go now, my parents are about to leave, I'll see you, tomorrow, she said excitedly.
At the dining table,all I could think about was our yet again another of my close friend was leaving me behind all alone, and facing their lives.
We had small talks at the dining, then I helped mom with the dishes.
Did you hear that Charlie got into Harvard? she asked?.
yeah I did, I replied i'm so happy for her.
Did she also tell you about the get together? She asked again, I knew where she was going.
Yes, and it's funny that you would assume I would want to go.
I know you would, you love celebrating with others ,she said pitching my cheek with her wet hand
Mom!!.
I know you would too, dad said Pop in out of nowhere,
Dah!!, You startled me, dad I complained holding my chest.
So who's gonna drive me there tomorrow?. I asked looking at both parents.
You are old enough to drive, you've got your license, don't you? my dad said.
I can't drive on my own I screamed in my head.
No,no no, my mom said, she isn't ready to drive for thirty minutes on the highway by herself, come-on she can't even drive herself to school, what are you thinking? mom asked dad.
How would she know if she never tries it? Dad countered.
you both realize i'm standing right here, don't you?.
Shuush!!, they both said.
Well, Kyle have been giving me lessons, I drive him around all the time, I lied, trying to calm the situation.
Kyle has been helping you out?, Mom asked a little calmer.
So not only are you his P.A you're his driver too?, Dad asked, He was the one getting angry now.
Dad, Dad?, He was just helping, he was just helping your poor little girl overcome her fear of public roads, he did a good thing, I said convincingly.
Oh well, if Kyle's been helping you I really don't see anything stopping you from driving my mom said, you can take my car.
Mom liked Kyle, she thought he was sweet and generous, and she also fell for his boyish charms, But dad, Dad on the other hand, not so much, he didn't like Kyle at all, and I mean I didn't blame him, the guys is a jerk, Dad would give Kyle the STARE, Every time he dropped me home, Kyle didn't notice and that made Dad angrier.
Dad, it's okay, I'll fine, you should see me on a steering wheel, i'm like a pro, I said.
and he finally budged.
I greeted my parents good night and went off to bed, I looked outside my windows at the night sky, the stars twinkling on their own, it was beautiful, and I felt calmer, I imagined how Charlie's get together was gonna be, maybe I could even make new friends, and report back to Anne, everything would go great I assured myself.