Zoro was stretched out on a lawn chair, sipping lightly on some Wano sake that he got a hold of.
He might have dedicated his life to the pursuit of battle, but he genuinely enjoyed these restful moments in between the deadly action. They were rare, especially in the New World which seemed to have enemies around every corner.
In this place, though? Port Royal just so happened to be both a well patrolled settlement that also had no one that could identify them as pirates. He felt himself able to truly relax for the first time in a long while.
He intended to savor it, since the moment Luffy arrived would probably be the same moment that he opened his big mouth and told whoever would listen that they were, in fact, pirates.
*Boom* *Boom* *Boom*
Zoro opened his eye and let out a sigh. He was mildly surprised that the cannonfire landed amidst the town instead of aimed at their ship, but then again, who would take the Thousand Sunny as a threat if they didn't know better?
Two grappling hooks were thrown up and latched onto the railing opposite the dock. They were followed swiftly by a pair of stereotypical ne'er-do-wells climbing up the ropes they were tied to.
"Get a load of this guy, Twigg! He's got three swords!" the first snickered.
"Captain Barbossa was right, this is a clown ship!" the second, Twigg, barked with laughter. "Hey, clown boy, where does yer ring master keep yer profits? Tell us quick like, or Mallot here will crack yer skull open!"
"Oh? Why don't you try it?" Zoro taunted.
These two came looking for trouble, so he might as well help them find it. Especially since they spoiled his well earned break.
Mallot stepped forward immediately, readying a large wooden hammer. The sheer lack of hesitation, and the sinister smile on his face, told Zoro that this was what he'd been hoping for.
Zoro didn't feel any danger from this fellow, though. He drew a single sword and waited for him to come over.
"Let's have us a game of whack a mole!" Mallot hollered as he closed the distance with a charge, wielding his wooden hammer in a big overhead swing.
Zoro slashed him from shoulder to hip before he could even begin to bring it back down.
*whack*
Zoro backed away, shaking his head to rid the stars from his eyes. He'd been hit?
Mallot whistled in mock respect. "Yer a quick one, ain'tcha? Won't change the outcome, though."
Zoro just had the time to realize that Mallot wasn't bleeding before he felt a sharp pain in his right side. He swung on instinct and cut Twigg deep across the laugh.
There were no dying gurgles issued from Twigg's mouth, but rather delighted giggles.
"He's got spunk, Mallot! He'd have been worth taking aboard ten years ago!" Twigg's speech was completely unaffected by the wound in his neck.
What the hell was up with these two? They didn't seem that skilled, so how were they sneaking past his observation haki?
*Boom* *Boom* *Boom*
Another volley of cannonfire tore through the town.
The shitty cook chose that moment to bust through the door to the dining room and kitchen, looking pissed off.
"Hey, mosshead! What's with all this racket?!" Sanji shouted, looking a tad disheveled and very annoyed for having been woken up.
"Shut up! These two are weird, okay?!" Zoro shouted back by instinct.
Getting distracted was a mistake. A mistake that would be punished a second later.
Zoro felt the air move first. Old instincts took over as he tried to duck and the wooden hammer missed his head by a centimeter.
This last second dodge left him open for Twigg's knife, which came very close to gouging out his remaining eye. It was fortunate that the shitty cook was quick on his feet, because he buried one of those feet into Twigg's gut and forced him to back off.
"Why are you taking your eye off of them then, idiot?!" Sanji growled, sounding more annoyed than he was about being woken up. "What the hell?"
Sanji was genuinely shocked to find Twigg unphased by his kick. Sanji hadn't bothered to hold back at all, and while it wasn't his strongest attack, it should have been enough to pulverize the ribs of an average man.
"Pretty boy has a point, one eye!" Mallot declared gleefully. "It's rude to look away from yer dance partner!"
Zoro was careful not to let the two leave his line of sight and shot a glance at Sanji. Some message must have been conveyed, because they both moved as one an instant later.
""Come and get some!"" Mallot and Twigg exclaimed in unison.
Twigg caught the back of Zoro's sword and Mallot got kicked in the chin. They were then battered and pushed back several times before finally getting pushed overboard into the harbor.
*splash* *splash*
"Well, that was easy," Sanji commented.
"They aren't that strong, just hard to kill," Zoro observed.
"Kind of weird if they're both like that, isn't it?" Sanji frowned.
*Boom* *Boom* *Boom*
The town was fully awake now. It was hard to sleep through a siege. Just as people started to look around outside, a number of dinghies reached the docks and the shore. Dozens of raging pirates poured out of them and attacked whoever was foolish enough to be caught by them.
"Shit!" Zoro threw himself over the railing and onto the dock, then raced towards the town to help. Sanji was right behind him.
"Hey guys, what's going on?" Usopp rubbed his eyes as he stepped out onto the deck. "Aw, maaan! Why does something like this always have to happen?!"
Usopp went back inside to wake the others who hadn't roused yet and to get his things.
…
"This is highly inappropriate," Will complained.
"Oh relax, lover boy," Cherry gave him a friendly slap on the back. "They're just tavern wenches. I didn't bring you to a strip club."
"You might as well have! I've never seen a neck line so low!" Will hissed in a low tone.
"You can't turn into a blushing mess every time a lady shows off a little skin, William," Cherry chastised. "Besides, you spent your whole youth looking at one girl! Now you're going to marry that girl, so you should get a few eyefuls while you still can!"
"What if an uncouth rumor starts because I'm here? I'll be an embarrassment to Elizabeth," Will worried.
Cherry opened her mouth to reassure him for the umpteenth time, but she was interrupted by the crash of a nearby window, and a cannonball slamming straight into her head.
"Oh my god!" Will shouted in alarm.
"Somebody is going to pay for this," Cherry stood up, palming the offending projectile. "I don't know who thought it'd be funny to ruin my boy's bachelor party, but I'm going to ruin their kneecaps."
She went to the window and squinted at the darkness. She saw the flash of the cannons, reared her arm back, and chucked the cast iron sphere hard enough to make its own BOOM.
…
Captain Barbossa Hector looked longingly at the apple in his hand.
Then, the hand and the apple were gone, his ears were ringing, and his pet monkey was going berserk on his shoulder.
"Somebody is going to pay for this," Barbossa growled.