"…Mmgh?"
In a vast plain lay a young man. The ground was slightly damp, and the morning breeze carried the refreshing scent of plants.
He stirred a little, and once he regained his senses, the blades of grass ticklishly caressed his cheeks, fluttering alongside the wind.
Those hazy golden eyes of his became clear, just like clear shining crystals.
Where am I?
So he wondered. But the answer did not come so easily. He could barely move his body; the aching, sore muscles refused to budge.
Is this…? Another dream?
Despite his inquiry, he could barely understand anything at all. Regardless of how empty his head usually was, when he wanted to think, he thought. But nothing came—his usually sharp mind had become dull, unable to understand the current situation.
In the end, he gritted his teeth and mustered just enough mana through pain to send an electrical signal through his body.
"!!!"
His eyes reddened as if the veins were about to pop; the pain caused by his convulsing muscles that burned in agony was almost unbearable.
Suffering was not anything new to him, but was he always this reactive to it?
Tears had streamed down his face while a hideous gasp for air escaped his lips.
—Urgh… my body seems normal enough. Is it simple exhaustion?
Alum could feel that his mind was alright now after the shock snapped him out of the daze. His body, however, had been reduced to a complete mess.
Something was amiss, and he knew.
Was it supposed to be that painful? It was a simple shock, and shouldn't have caused that kind of reaction. And when he thought more fundamentally, perhaps it wasn't just the electrical signal or the muscles themselves.
Did I damage the Mana Foundation?
For a mage, it was career-ending. A Mana Foundation rarely fully healed, and if it's heavily damaged, it could leave them a cripple.
"…"
Thus, he braced for that pain again, conjuring a water ball atop his mouth. As he'd predicted, the moment his mana surged just a little, pain coursed throughout his body.
Having lost control, the water ball fell. His barely parted lips kissed the cold water before it splashed into his mouth or ran down his face.
Alum was a total mess. His semi-long jet-black hair was sprawled out of the grass, and his barely focused eyes stared at the seemingly endless sky.
Yet, regardless of how much of a mess he was, he was undeniably a handsome lad by some, but by most—pretty regardless of sex.
By most standards, Alum was aware of how blessed he was. He was naturally fit despite years of inactivity. He had a good head on his shoulders, despite the harsh tutoring during childhood. Not only that, his parents were protective and loving, even if that love was twisted in many ways.
In a world hidden within a world where psychics were being made in secret laboratories, his value was immeasurable compared to other natural-born espers. And what made him that unique? Simple, his powers were stable and reliable without fail.
It didn't even matter how weak he was; it would simply work. Even if he barely had any psionic energy, his telekinesis would be accurate and stable. If he could use it, there was no exception.
As if possessed, Alum levitated and rose to his feet. His limbs might be soft like freshly made spaghetti, but as long as he was conscious, he could move as if he was fine.
The moment he looked around, something was out of place. He recognized the area. But where was the camp base? Where was the ruin? The lush magical forest pulsing in all the colors remained, but where was the rest?
"Mmhg?"
Slowly and surely, he began recalling how he'd been on an expedition. He and his team had been trapped for days around the spiraling tower, but he didn't recall how they proceeded.
"…!?"
Suddenly, his heart jumped, and his head spun.
—Ignol.
He remembered, but why couldn't he do so clearly?
He had formed a contract with Hilos and proceeded, but he didn't know how or what kind of contract it was. Noel and Boail showed up, but he didn't know why. Aetlise took a hit for him and lost her life with a smile, but he didn't know why.
Alum had made it out… BUT HE DIDN'T KNOW HOW.
—CRACK…
"No…el?"
In that moment, Noel had reached for him—Alum's mind shattered, if only for a moment. Instantly, shards from his broken imaginary core became entangled once more, forming half a core, resulting in an extreme psionic outburst.
The area around him shook; energy began to run out of control. The ground was torn apart; boulders began to float toward the sky; the terrain itself had been ripped out of the earth, forming floating islands connected by bridges of dirt and debris in a 1-mile radius. Nevertheless, his powers remained flawless.
"Hah… Hahahahaha…"
On one of those floating islands, he lay sprawled on his back, laughing, yet tears streamed down his expressionless face as if to relieve the unadulterated torment.
"Again… Why am I the only one alive again?"
—Why me alone? Why? Just… Why?
He saw it. Just before he fell into a void rift, Ignol, the dark armor, was on his knees, fallen and shattered. And yet…
Why… am I always the one seeing heads slide off shoulders…?
Ignoring that he might cause more damage to his Mana Foundation, he touched the void ring and materialized Amethely's sweets. It was a comforting gesture, yet it was utterly tasteless; he couldn't even feel right now anyway. Regardless, wolfed it down in an instant.
Having calmed his heart, he wasn't sure why he had jumped to a conclusion. As an esper, he always regulated his mental health properly. The culprit this time was presumably his revulsion towards those insidious memories.
—First, my memories are hazy; I don't recall details. That in itself is abnormal. Second, Boail and Aetlise are overwhelmingly powerful individuals. In Boail's case, if Ignol could easily decapitate him, then it could've been done at any moment, but didn't. I also have my head.
And as for Aetlise, I cannot find any reason she'd sacrifice herself for me. Even if she really is Liss, did she know who I was? That doesn't add up either; I haven't told her, but I don't remember telling her either. Then the only conclusion is that my memories from that encounter are far too unreliable, perhaps even fabricated.
There might be a chance they're alive somewhere.
—I have to report what I know to Rigeld.
Now that the whole base camp had vanished, the means of transportation was nowhere in sight. And he had to rely on his memory to reach Ilifel without becoming a meal.
"…"
But despite the more urgent matters, what weighed more on his heart than anything was how to tell Amethely he had failed to protect her parents, that he had returned on his own.
—And how do I tell Chely…? Ah, she'll resent me for sure. Not only Noel, but her parents too…
Materializing a healing core, he pressed it to his chest; pain resurged despite the dulled pain receptors.
—How do I tell Miu? They're childhood friends, but he was like a brother to her.
"…"
Alum's clenched fists relaxed, and the floating islands and debris began to descend. His heart steadied as his breathing slowed, eyes dulling to a cold metallic gold.
—Ah… Isn't that right, Alum Miller? Something like this isn't new to you, is it?
…
..
Not a day had passed since he woke up. The sun was still quite high in the sky. By this time, Alum had almost reached Ilifel by flight. Much of the journey had been uneventful; beasts tried to eat him, only to crash into a telekinetic dome before getting twisted and dropped to the ground.
The old Alum would kill in an instant and move on, and he currently did. Yet for some inexplicable reason, whenever something picked a fight with him, a dark, twisted urge to torment them arose.
Even if he was a monster in human skin, he at least wanted to be human. Thus, eschewed those thoughts.
Now that he was close to the city barrier, he slowed down and landed, making his way to the closest district after changing to civilian clothing. Upon arriving at the levethren station, he got a bunch of stares. It had been like that since before. This time, their gazes were more intense, presumably due to his grim expression.
If only he had a portable system, he would've been able to contact Rigeld and be allowed to fly into the city. Even though his clearance level was pretty high, a personalized portable system was still a no-go.
Even for such an old empire, having a small and complex computer that worked outside the city's barriers was a rough ask for such a volatile outside world. Even the concept of a smartphone isn't completely foreign to them. Mana slate tablets were in use everywhere, though civilians commonly use an AR wristband controlled by their eyes.
But… The military tech was a little different. They had their own comms in the form of an earpiece, which could be connected to lenses for recordings and visual information. However, most of that tech was reserved for covert operations where intelligence gathering was prioritized.
Alum had neither; the earpiece wouldn't work since it had to be tethered to a specialized computer, and it couldn't store information. And the tablet he'd used to record and log inside the ruins was gone alongside the expedition team.
While deep in thought, a girl with silver-gray hair and blue eyes sat next to him. "Hello," she greeted him warmly.
Alum wasn't in the mood for a chat, and so he simply nodded.
The atmosphere clearly got awkward, and the other passengers looked at the girl with pity. But since she hadn't moved, his rejection clearly didn't bother her.
"Your heart seems to be heavy," she commented, leaning back onto the seat. "But if that something becomes too much for your heart, don't hesitate to stop by a nearby monastery," she followed with a bright smile.
To the girl named Ecera, Alum looked like a pitiful young man whose heart had been broken, and she wasn't far off. As a Sister of the Light Order, she tried to comfort him a little. However, some grief was simply too deep.
But even so, Alum felt his chest just a little lighter. Even the awkward attempt at a faint smile seemed crooked.
"Thank you, I will think about it."
"No worries, as a Sister, I can't overlook a troubled soul~" she beamed a warm smile; the surroundings were practically illuminated. "My name is Ecera, may I ask for your name?"
"Alum," Alum replied.
He glanced at her—it was going to be a long ride; thus, having a conversation partner to distract himself might not be so bad, he thought. Ecera probably had that in mind as well when she approached him.
At his somewhat curt reply, Ecera let out a small chuckle.
"If you're so cold to girls, even your good looks might deter them, you know?" she teased.
"I don't mind," Alum lightly shrugged. "My fiancée is the only flower I need."
"My! You were engaged! I apologize for my earlier rudeness. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of flower is your person?"
"Mm. Let's see. She's like an Ilis flower, but also like the warm Szenu flower."
"My my?!" Ecera pressed her palms together. "What a romantic response—she definitely taught you that, didn't she?" she asked while smirking.
"Yeah."
"Hmm~ but an Ilis and a Szenu, huh? She sounds exactly like the saint, doesn't she?"
"…"
It wasn't often Alum ran into people who didn't know he was engaged to Amethely, but this was its own kind of fun as well.
"Well, her name is also Amethely," Alum chuckled.
"I see, I see. Hmm, even the same name. Is that right? Amethely was a pretty rare name in the empire overall. It is now a trendy name for newborns, though," Ecera chuckled.
Just like that, their conversation continued until Ecera got off. As she left, the heavy feelings crawled right back to his chest. Still, he thanked her for alleviating that pain, only if temporary.
..
A few stations later and a switch, he finally arrived at the gates of the military HQ. He greeted the guards and got through the checkpoint.
Alum took a deep breath and headed towards Rigeld's office, using the low-traffic hallway he always used. But when he turned a corner, he ran into a familiar face—Amethely. She smiled warmly the moment her pink-amethyst eyes met his golden eyes.
It was as if the world stopped—his heart stopped, and he couldn't move. He thought of what to say to her, but no words would come out.
"Hello M—"
"Ame…" he murmured.
Sensing that something was off with Alum, the smile on Amethely's face began to waver as she took a step back. Just a moment later, Alum's arms were about to envelop her.
"Ame, about—"
But before he could hug her, she'd grabbed his right wrist and pulled him in. And due to her strength, he was unable to break free of her grip, nor was he willing to use telekinesis on her; he was thus thrown over her shoulder, finding himself staring at the ceiling.
"What were you trying to do, Mister Alum?" she questioned with a stern voice. "Were you trying to embrace me? If not, then what excuse do you have for the action?"
"…"
Alum was simply speechless and couldn't keep up. How could he? Her gaze wasn't simply cautious, but something close to contempt. The heart that was already heavy, but relieved upon seeing her face, was in pieces. The wretched pain was akin to a knife twisting his chest.
"…"
Feeling a little sorry for him as tears started to form around the corner of his eyes, Amethely did not apologize. However…
"Your actions were highly inappropriate, but I will not report it to your superiors. If something is burdening your heart, talk to someone, but… after your actions, I believe I would be ill-suited for that conversation."
Amethely blinked, looking conflicted, and then turned around.
"Well then, I will be on my way."
And just like that, she left.
—Ame…?
Alum gritted his teeth while lying there pathetically in the shadows under the orange sky. When he finally snapped out of it, he tried to get up, but his body was still a total wreck, so he had to use telekinesis to control his limbs to get up to chase after her.
"…"
But she wasn't there. Then, he felt a presence behind him, and when he turned around, a white-haired girl pressed her whole body up against him, hugging him tight. But he was frozen like a statue.
"Al!" she called his name while nuzzling his chest. "I didn't expect to run into you here—huh…?" but when she saw his face filled with tears, she couldn't help but ask. "Are you okay?"
—Shit… I'm the worst…
The exhaustion finally got to him, tears spilling down his face. His legs gave way as his weight shifted onto her.
"…"
Miu's moist ruby eyes widened before turning gentle, supporting his weight as she turned and leaned on a wall, sliding down and letting his head rest on her bosom.
"There, there," she said while patting his head affectionately. She didn't know what made him like this, but… "It must've been hard…"
"It… was," Alum sobbed as he replied.
"You did your best…"
Whatever it was, I'm sure you did your best, Miu thought.
"I don't know…"
"…I'm sure you did."
"…"
Time passed as the sun began to set, casting a shadow over them as minutes were spent in silence. Not long after, Alum was able to peel himself off her chest, unable to look her in the eyes, thus unable to see her warm, affectionate gaze.
"Al," she called his name and secured his face with her soft and delicate hands. "Look at me," she said, her voice soft like feathers, her demeanour too gentle.
Her smile was akin to spring, melting away the snow in his mind, but also a smile like summer, bright and warm, almost too hot it burned.
"…"
Alum could only stare at her with a blank expression. His heavy heart had gotten a little lighter, no… even skipping a beat.
His first love, the love before he truly understood what it meant to love someone, someone whom he rejected, someone he had moved on from. But… even so. How could those old feelings not resurge after being treated this nicely following the events that had ripped his heart out?
"You finally looked at me," Miu blushed, stunning him with her adorable smile.
—Chu…
"…"
Alum's previously lifeless eyes widened in surprise, regaining light. The soft and warm sensation of her lips still lingered on his.
"Njy-hihi~ What's with that silly look?" She pulled his cheeks. "There, smile—but… pffts… This makes you look more silly!"
"…"
She kissed me… why? I. I mean… we're close, but a kiss is too much.
Even so, Alum thought he was the worst fiancé possible. To think he thought the kiss was nice, even if it was for a moment; the thought still crossed his mind.
"M-Miu…?"
"Hm? Are you perhaps feeling shy? Mou… now I'm getting shy too. Baka…" she said playfully before burying her face in his shoulder.
"!??!?!?!?"
Out of shock, Alum began to analyze the situation.
—What is going on? Was Miu ever this forward? No… I was too emotionally distressed and couldn't think clearly, but why did Amethely throw me? If I recall… she had the eyes of someone looking at a stranger. Miu, on the other hand… has the look of someone looking at her lover.
Huh? Is this the price of causality? But… I don't remember having agreed to that contract, nor did I use his divinity to restore my Imaginary Core. So why?
"Miu… what are we?" Alum reluctantly asked.
"…" Miu puffed her cheeks and sulked, eyes devoid of light. "Even as a joke, that's really distasteful," she said, turning away, "Hmph."
"…"
Alum calmly feigned a smile. Miu, of course, noticed but wasn't going to point it out since he seemed troubled.
"Sorry, it was in bad taste… it just feels like I'm dreaming…"
"…Since when were you this cheesy?" Miu blushed and covered her face, peeking through her fingers.
"Ahem…" Alum cleared his throat. "Anyways, can you head back first? I still have something to do."
"Mm, got it. You still haven't finished training with Noel, right?"
"…"
—Noel? He's… Alive?
"Yeah… something like that."
"Okay."
Miu kissed him on the cheek and waited for him to do the same. Alum gritted his teeth and apologized to Amethely and gave her a light peck before she got up and left.
And when she was far out of sight, night-lights flickered, turning on and illuminating the corridor in cold white light, casting a dark shadow over his face. Alum wiped his cheek and lips, feeling nauseous. Not because Miu's actions were unpleasant; no, she was innocent. The contempt and resentment were directed at himself.
"Woah, what a heartless boyfriend."
Alum heard a familiar voice. When he turned toward the man, he was met with familiar silver eyes and dark gray hair—Rigeld Ilifel.
He wasn't alone, however—soldiers began to surround Alum.
"You see, I've been informed there are two Alum Millers at the base—but… Seeing it with my own eyes, your disguise is quite something, ain't it?"
"…"
"Who are you?" Rigeld asked, his tone cold and authoritative.
At this point, Alum had already pieced together the probable cause.
"You already saw," Alum shrugged. "That girl, Miu, you already know what her blessing is, so why are you asking who I am?"
Rigeld frowned at the audacity; a mere cadet had the guts to talk back. But… knowing that Miu's blessing was eyes of truth, she could never have mistaken her lover for someone else.
"Hahaha, I like your guts, kid."
"…"
I see… I'm a stranger to him too. Does that mean I'm not close with Luna?
"So? Are you truly Alum Miller?"
"Yes… but probably not the cadet you know," Alum void calmly. "I'm quite lucky your whims are the same; did office work get stale, Old Man?"
Rigeld's subordinates quickly glanced at their superior, as if to ask, 'Was that why he insisted on tagging along?'
"Oh? I suppose 'we' were quite intimate then?" From their little dialogue, Rigeld finally grasped the general idea of what was going on. "You lot are dismissed. I'll talk to the lad alone."
"…"
When the others left them alone, it became quiet for a while.
"…Can I go see Noel first?"
"Noel? Ah, the promising cadet who always flirts with the hero?"
'I see… They aren't together yet.'
"…" Rigeld pretended not to hear that. "I heard he's putting in a lot of work since coming here—brazenly chasing a woman of that status, I have to say, it's quite admirable."
Alum shrugged.
"It's cute, so leave him be."
"Huh? What are you, an old man?"
"…I don't want to hear that from THE old man."
Rigeld grinned.
"Fucking brat…"
The walk was short, and they didn't have to look for long before spotting two young men sparring. One, a familiar face, the other… he himself.
"Well… It seems like you've found yourself in quite the bizarre adventure, haven't you, cadet?" Rigeld remarked, glancing at the Alum beside him.
Alum turned and began walking towards Rigeld's office.
"Let's go to your office; you must have a bunch of questions, right?"
"…"
Rigeld shrugged, seeing as the melancholic face lightened just a little from seeing his best friend's face.
…
..
Not long after parting with Alum, Miu was in the courtyard with the other female cadets, having a picnic. Chely and Amethely, their instructors, were there too, and the only one missing was Luna.
"Miu, were you late flirting with Alum again?"
Lova and Julia teased; Lena smiled faintly, then the other girls joined in as well.
"Hehe~ a little," Miu replied with a smile, giving them a thumbs up.
Seeing her exaggerated smug expression, the girls burst out laughing.
"Way to go, girl!" Lova turned to Lena, as did Miu and Julia. "Lena, you too, when are you and Kurt—"
"W-wha—I'm not ready to express how I feel yet…"
"…"
Watching from a distance, there was a knot in Amethely's stomach; her heart was murky and her chest ridden with guilt.
—Why did Mr. Alum try to hug me back then? Everyone knows he loves Ms. Miu so much and yet… Arughajwiawfwaf… I feel betrayed, sad, and angry; their bond was so pure and yet… and yet! I'm sure this betrayal would hurt Ms. Miu even more… I don't want to hurt her by telling her, but not telling her is… also out of the question…
"What's wrong, Ame?"
Chely, her older sister who was calmly drinking tea beside her, suddenly asked.
"Oh, um… Sis…"
"Yeah?"
"Are you close to Ms. Miu?"
"We're friends, so somewhat, I suppose."
Amethely braced herself, then asked.
"What about Mr. Alum?"
At her little sister's question, Chely smiled softly.
"He's a good guy. He might seem distant and cold, but he cares about his friends. He even helped me get along better with Noel, though Noel's still too cheeky for his good."
Amethely winced a little, but Chely didn't seem to have noticed.
"I see… is there… anything else?"
"Hmm… you might've noticed, but he's far more talented than the other wanderers. Though it irritates me that he's not utilizing his potential, I suppose it aligns with his skeptical personality. At least he's compliant and does what he's told, so no issue there."
"…I see."
—That was… my opinion of him too…
Seeing the complicated expression on Amethely's face, Chely furrowed her eyebrows.
"Ame, don't tell me you're…"
Amethely sulked and poked her sister's side.
"Whatever you're thinking, Sis, that's so wrong on so many levels," she retorted.
Flustered, Chely stammered.
"I-It was a jest…"
Amethely took a deep breath and elegantly got up. She had to find out. Thus, she walked toward the beautiful girl at the center of the group.
"Ms. Miu, may I speak to you in private?"
..
Miu and Amethely were alone a distance away from the courtyard.
"What… did you want to talk about, Lady Saint?" Miu asked with a reluctant tone.
"About that… I ran into Mister Alum earlier. He seemed strange. Do you have any idea?"
"Oo? I—yeah, he did seem out of it, but…" Miu blushed. "I think my pampering helped a little. But he still had a sad look—actually, may I ask for advice, Lady Saint?"
"…"
Amethely frowned. She wasn't even trying to hide her discontent anymore and was able to piece things together.
Since Miu had arrived later than her, it probably meant she ran into Alum later than her. He'd tried to hug her, then shamelessly got pampered by his lover like it was no big deal; what was wrong with him?
"Actually…"
Amethely told Miu what had happened. Miu just stood there with wide eyes, saying it wasn't possible, yet unable to flatly deny Amethely's words as lies.
Holding back her tears, she ran towards the training grounds, Amethely chasing after her.
When they arrived, they saw two sweaty handsome men wiping their faces with their shirts, exposing their defined abs—but now wasn't the time for that.
"Al!" Miu exclaimed.
Alum turned to them, and his expression bloomed.
"Miu…" he replied as if melting to the smile he only ever showed her—Noel and Emely.
—Thud…
Miu crashed into him, clenching his shirt.
"Alum Miller… be honest… did you flirt with Lady Saint?"
"No. Why would I?"
Alum seemed genuinely confused and looked over at Amethely. Seeing his extremely confused expression, Amethely became confused as well.
But then the thought crossed her mind.
—Is he simply a very good actor?
Miu looked at Amethely, then Alum, and bit her lip. "I don't know anymore!" she exclaimed, releasing him and running away with teary eyes.
But before Alum could chase after her, Noel stopped him.
"I don't have a single clue of what's going on, but cool your head, k? I'll talk to her."
"…Got it… I'll leave it to you," Alum heaved a deep sigh in resignation.
The stars were out, shining brightly in the night sky. But said stars couldn't be seen with the harsh light casting over the training grounds.
With a dark expression, Alum stared at Amethely.
"What the hell is your deal?" he said, voice filled with animosity, quite different from the one of sadness and longing she heard at the hall.
And with equal intensity, Amethely glared back.
"That is my line, Alum Miller."
"Saint my ass—what kind of lie did you feed my lovely angel?"
"Lovely angel? Do you have any right to call her by such an endearing pet name after all this? I'm disappointed in you, Alum Miller."
Amethely said her share and turned, walking away and leaving Alum utterly baffled by the turn of events.
"What the hell…?"
He muttered as he clenched his fists, looking up at the sky.
A/N
Yes, the chapter is a little early; there will be a chapter on the 25th as well. I just kinda finished it on a whim.
Also, before you say anything, I had a knot in my stomach the whole time writing that part with Alum and Amethely… so yeah.
And also, I have no idea why I'm keeping doing Miu dirty; I love her, just saying.