Hi guys its been more than a year since the last time a journal. Lot has happened since then. I became an intern and undergone my OJT last year from February to June interning on PNP,BFP, and BJMP. I graduated on July last year and after a Month of rest i begone my review for my board examination.
It was August when I started my review and I realized that self review is my weakness because I can't seem to focus when I review by myself. I only review when I'm on lectures during weekends.
So I can only review during lectures at our review center during weekends. I did that till January of 2025. Last month before taking the examination we are put on an in-house review for 20 days we were put on in-house review.
Our in-house review starts at 8 am till 9 pm everyday for 17 days and my roommates still do self review after the lectures till midnight and even till 1-2 am I there I was still can't focus on review and choosing to just sleep.
They tell me that they review more because they're guilty of not doing there best in review because the payment for our in-house review is quite a large amount and there I am not feeling the guilt not because we're rich but for unidentifiable reason at that time. To be honest the money I paid for my in-house review is from a loan so I should be more guilty but I don't know why but I can't fell guilt and nervousness at that time i don't know or realize yet but it bugs me deeply that I am more nervous of why I do not feel the guilt that they are telling me.
Comes the 1st day of examination, our board exam is a 6 areas and 3 days examination. I take the examination with light feeling and quite confident and after the last examination. During our praise and worship service I committ my examination to the Lord.
On the way home the my heart is still burdened not by the examination but because of me not feeling any kind of kind not going beyond on my reviews and upon coming home I hug my mom and got straight to my sister to share what I feel and what burdens me at the time.
Upon sharing it to my sister she seemed to already know the reason and she told me " You don't feel the nervousness and the guilt because you're Faith in the Lord is greater than any negative feeling bes" she said and it hits me .