The crucible countdown ticked like a heartbeat in their ears: three… two… one…
The map loaded into place—a busted industrial yard torn open to the sky, cranes frozen mid-swing, shipping containers stacked like crooked teeth. A fierce gust of wind howled.
Team Alpha, Gandalf Undecided, IEatPaint, TheOneWhoKnocks, Dumbledore, ILoveLoot, Team Beta, Waffles, LeroyJenkins, BearSpray, Thunderclappin. FreakyFeet and PrinceOfPersia clustered around a collapsed gantry on the far side.
"Okay," Gandalf said, already irritated. "Before we start—"
"We started," Waffles deadpanned, vaulting a waist-high barrier. "Move."
"No, seriously," Gandalf barked, jogging after Waffles and BearSpray. "You dogs did the Moon campaign without me. I log off for one day, one f*cking day—and suddenly everyone wants to do the mission?"
"Bro," Undecided chimed in, sliding into cover next to TheOneWhoKnocks, "you were gone for twelve hours."
"I said I had a dentist appointment!" Gandalf snapped.
"TO WHO?" ThunderClappin raised a brow, peeking the angle with a hand cannon already thumping. "Left side! Two pushing trucks."
"Lock the f*ck in, " Dumbledore added, sweeping a pulse rifle and tagging one, "we'll talk about this shi* later."
"F*ck, RUN THEM DOWN," LeroyJenkins shouted from the other side, "Waffles! Let's go."
Waffles glided her over the crate and chucked a grenade as it clinked below.
"Br,o I told you Bear that I had an appointment!" Gandalf barked back.
"What!" BearSpray vaulted the crate and slid across the corner, using his shotgun to catch ThunderClapping off guard as he blinked in. Bearspray shot him twice and ended it with a disrespectful melee before throwing a dance emote over the body.
"YOU DOG!" ThunderClappin roared.
"That's toxic," ILoveLoot observed, flipping to sidearm as Undecided tried to flank the flank.
"That one's definitely going in his stupid montage." TheOneWhoKnocks muttered, as he reloaded his sniper, aiming down sight to get a hold of FreakyFeet.
"He has a montage?" Undecided replied, using the last of his heavy ammo as he shot rockets into the centre.
"Uh-huh." TheOneWhoKnocks cursed under his breath as he flicked across the field, his scope barely getting a hold of Freaky. He took a shaky shot and missed, "That dog recorded our last crucible match. Got crazy views online."
FreakyFeet flickered across the field as a bullet whizzed past him, his eyes drifted up as he spotted TheOneWhoKnocks.
"F*ck, let's go!" Undecided realised what had happened. He and TheOneWhoKnocks darted, trying to throw Freaky off.
But FreakyFeet did what he does best. He raced across the map, slid past grenades, and vanished off radar, reappeared exactly where no one expected him to.
"Behind you," FreakyFeet jeered in proximity chat. A revolver rolled in his palm. He dashed and jumped as he aimed.
TheOneWhoKnocks flinched, looking back, he spotted Freaky mid-air. His hands jolted to this rifle as he tried to aim, but just as his finger touched the trigger.
*BANG!*
[GUARDIAN DOWN!]
"SON OF A BI-" TheOneWhoKnocks roared.
Undecided switched to his pulse, finger on the trigger, he immediately pulled. Four shots rang out, but none connected.
Freaky dashed to the left, rolled to the right, zipped up, streaked down and charged right. His figure was barely a blur as he zig-zagged across the map in a mad frenzy, ending a step away from Undecided with a melee.
His punch was inches away from Undecided's jaw. FreakyFeet rushed closer, his fist connected as Undecided dropped to half health, and in the same instant, FreakyFeet leaned in for another melee.
IEatPaint charged from above, eyes flicked down as he spotted Freaky. He instantly triggered a thundercrash. His figure was wreathed in lightning as it came crashing down.
Freaky connected the second melee. Undecided fell.
[GUARDIAN DOWN!]
But as he looked up, Freaky breathed a sigh, "F*ck."
"EAT SHIT!" IEatPaint crashed down, smiting him as he sent blue static across the floor.
"Leroy, YOU RAT BASTARD!" Dumbledore groaned, pinned down by heavy fire behind a pillar.
LeroyJenkins held the tightest corridor angle known to man as he blatantly fired everything he had down towards the corner, "CAMP MORE DOG!"
The Score ticked. 17–11, Beta. Shaxx's bolstering laugh echoed. "Team Beta, you're ahead!"
"Thunder you f*ck", IEatPaint warned, "stop going after Freaky in mid. He's farming you!"
ThunderClappin made a noise somewhere between wounded pride and a trash truck. "Why did we even switch teams? We had a good thing going."
"Now you know what it feels like," IEatPaint said, unhelpfully calm. "Shut the f— up and play"
"Spoken like a true crayon muncher", ILoveLoot added, dropping an empowering rift as he
BearSpray roamed the sharp angles of the map, shotgun-first, brain second. Waffles hovered above as she searched for a nice Nova Bomb. Gandalf screamed at PrinceOfPersia to actually get a kill.
But FreakyFeet floated through all that chaos, still untouchable, still just as freaky.
"Again! AGAIN! HE'S CHEATING. He HAS TO BE." ThunderClappin crashed out after the third time he died to a jump-peak-burst combo that shouldn't have worked.
"Breathe, dude, breathe," Dumbledore said. "We're fine. Thirty seconds to supers."
The scoreline crept up. 39–38, Team Alpha. A moment later, it was 42–42. And finally 45–46, for Team Beta.
"Supers are up," Waffles said. "I've still got bomb."
"Save it for a group," BearSpray advised. "They're clumped near the forklift."
Then the last thirty seconds turned into a scrum. Everyone used everything. Grenades lay on the floor. Rockets fired, punches connected. LeroyJenkins shouted his name and triggered his golden gun, only to be sniped by a Nova Bomb.
The timer bled out. And as the skirmish turned to a full-blown brawl. The game finally came to an end.
"76-80, Team Beta is victorious!" Shaxx announced.
"Barely," BearSpray said, triumph in the crackle. "Suck ittttt."
"Shut up, dog!" ThunderClappin shook his head as he sighed, and the teams went back to orbit.
The starfield stretched out, and the six ships drifted in formation. FreakyFeet's icon blinked. Then went dark.
"He dipped," Dumbledore said.
"Of course he did," IEatPaint replied. "Man's a phantom."
"Okay," TheOneWhoKnocks said, curiosity finally catching up with him, "how did we even get him on our friends list?"
BearSpray coughed. "I, uh… invited him?"
"Invited who?" LeroyJenkins asked.
"Yeah. I sent him a friend request. He accepted. That's the whole story." BearSpray shrugged.
"What?" Undecided said. "That's not a story. That's… luck."
"Maybe he's a pro?" ILoveLoot suggested. "Or a streamer smurfing on us."
"If he's a streamer, I'm suing for emotional damage," ThunderClappin said. "Also, I'll subscribe."
"Did you ask him to run strikes?" Waffles asked.
"I did," BearSpray replied. "He said he only does Crucible for now."
"Why?" TheOneWhoKnocks.
"He didn't say."
Silence stretched over comms for a moment. "Maybe the guy didn't like PvE?" Waffles hummed.
"Whatever," Undecided said. "Queue another?"
"Calm down." Dumbledore cut in, "Check bounties. Venom dailies count in Crucible now, right?"
"Think so," ILoveLoot said. "Kills with Venom weapons in any activity."
"Yeah," TheOneWhoKnocks said, voice dropping a notch. "You guys wanna redo the campaign mission? It's got good enemies."
"The Moon?" Undecided asked. "Again?"
"Again," TheOneWhoKnocks nodded. "We barely got out last time."
"Barely is a win," IEatPaint said. "And we had help."
A ping cut through—Clan chat this time, a burst of notifications cascading down the corner of their HUDs.
As Dumbledore opened the Venom Faction bounties, his screen flared.
-
VENOM Faction Update: New Weekly Challenge Available.
— Strike enemies with VENOM gear equipped (any activity).
— Bonus for Crucible final blows.
— Completion rewards: Faction Rank Ups, Glimmer, Unique Shader ("Coil").
-
"Oh hell yeah," Undecided said. "Shader."
"Shader," PrinceOfPersia repeated.
"Queue us," Dumbledore said. "I am getting that shit for sure. Check the preview."
"True, I quite like the red on white," TheOneWhoKnocks said, selecting the playlist. "Let's run it back."
—
[Workshop, Thieves Landing]
The workshop was all heat and noise. The clatter of tools, the hiss of Ether lines, Fallen chatter bouncing off corrugated walls. Two droids in jig frames spasmed their arms like they were warming up for a fistfight. On the central bench, a half-gutted jetpack lay open like a metal ribcage, wires braided with splicer filaments that pulsed an unhealthy red.
Pahanin stood over it with his sleeves rolled, silver armour scuffed to hell, an aggrieved expression colored his face/ Beside him, Kaviss hunched as he fed a new Ether canister into the manifold.
"Priming," Kaviss muttered. Click. "Ignition."
The jetpack coughed, shuddered, and then screamed.
A test droid rattled as the thrusters shook erratically, and it blasted straight down the aisle at skull height.
The workshop's doors hissed open, and Void stepped forward.
The jetpacked droid shot past him, barely grazing a curl off his cloak as it smashed and cratered the wall beside him.
Pahanin ran and jogged towards him and clicked his tongue, "F*ck, it missed."
"What?" Void said, blinking dust from his lashes.
"What?" Pahanin echoed, already pretending to calibrate something that did not need calibrating.
"You said—"
"Shh, don't interrupt the diagnostics," Pahanin cut in and cleared his throat, absolutely not making eye contact. "Kaviss, mark that as test thirty-nine. Failure."
"Marked," Kaviss said, trying and failing not to chuckle. His translator collar rendered it dry. "Failure: spectacular."
Void brushed a char mark from his pauldron and stepped past the smoking droid, eyeing the scorched groove it had carved into the floor. "You two are having fun."
"This is what fun looks like?" Pahanin said, stabbing at the holo. "Ether-engine is unstable when we push lateral output. Your boy Nulsis was flying on dreams and a prayer."
"Correction," Kaviss said. "Nulsis did not fly. He glided with rockets. He was, at best, approximating the design."
"Then I hope you also get to approximating and fixing this bullshit," Void said as he kicked the rubble away.
Pahanin pointed a wrench at him. "If you want it safe, it'll fly like a paperweight. You want speed? Things explode."
"Oh yeah? Name one ship that explodes when it flies." Void raised a brow.
"Noted," Pahanin said, absolutely not noting it.
Void leaned over the open pack. Splicer filaments snaked through standard housings, all jury-rig and ugly genius. "You tried a governor?"
Another droid trundled up with a fresh pack as it cruised towards them. Pahanin started to reach for the toggle. Void caught his wrist.
"Relax, are you sure about this?" Void said, his eyes drifting towards the wall beside him."I like this wall."
Pahanin sighed theatrically, then set the wrench down and glanced sideways. "Fine. I guess tell me how your Vanguard trip went."
"Nothing new," Void said. "City's about to be super busy though."
Pahanin's brow climbed. "Moon?"
Pahanin folded his arms. "To do what?"
"We're planning an assault. We do need to prepare a few things, too." Void nodded as he began listing things. "Generators. Cold-rated tents. Beacon triangulators. Field forge. Arc anchors. Ammo bricks."
Kaviss looked up, optics whirring. "This sounds like preparation for occupation."
Pahanin tilted his head. "Right. And who's this we you keep talking about?"
Void slowly smiled as it crept up his lips. "Oh. I didn't tell you?"
"No," Pahanin said. "You did not."
"We're setting up a camp on the Moon." Void shrugged as he walked by, and Pahanin slumped back on the black leather couch.
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