"…Promise me…promise you'll see the world…" Grandma Lulu croaked as she took her last breath. Her eyes, once vibrant and bursting with life became dull and lifeless.
I opened my mouth to scream her name only to find I had no voice. Grandma's body started to turn to mush in my arms as a pool of blood started to well up from the ground around me. Skeletal arms burst from the blood, grabbing my arms and legs in an attempt to pull me down.
I thrashed and yanked my arms, trying to get free but I was too weak. A figure started to rise from the blood, it loomed over me. The blood dripping of its dark figure giving it the appearance of a Korean grim reaper.
"You failed her! You failed him! You will fail again!" The reaper croaked. It extended a bony appendage towards my face. "You should have saved them…!"
***
"GRANDMA!" I screamed as I jolted awake to a sitting position. I was surrounded by darkness with the cold chill of my nightmare clinging to my skin when I suddenly felt arms wrapped around my shoulders and a comforting weight pressed against me.
"It's just a nightmare Starlight. Its alright…I'm here…we're all here…" Grandpa Seamus whispered softly.
"She was…I couldn't…I…" I started stuttering.
"It was all a nightmare Chase. It wasn't real…" Jane whispered just as softly as my Grandfather.
I stilled as I heard Jane's voice. Panic starting to rise in my chest at having her seen me like this but it all started to fade as I felt a weight on my shoulders. Warmth spread throughout my body, calm, comforting warmth that filled me with a sense of security.
"Its okay…you're not alone…we're here Star Child. We're here for you…" Jane whispered.
"We're here for you…just like you were there for us." Iris added softly.
Realization dawned that the weight I was feeling was their heads on my shoulders. The arms comforting me was all three of theirs, anchoring me in this moment. I felt a wave of emotions surge to me through the reestablished connection with my evos. Comfort, worry, sadness and fear for me washing over me in waves. A ocean of emotions lapping at the jagged and frayed fabric of my mind, a soothing balm unlike any other.
"I-I'm fine guys…thank you…" I said softly. Everyone continued to hold me for several more moments before they finally let me go.
I felt the bed dip slightly as they all moved away. I could still tell they were close by but not too far. The lights suddenly clicked on and I was momentarily blinded. When my vision came back I saw my Grandpa was sitting in an armchair next to my bed, Jane and Iris were both sitting on the edge of my bed. Bone-lasher was still at the foot of the bed, resting his head near my feet like he had been when I fell asleep. Empress was on my nightstand still only now she was meticulously rearranging a canopy of golden feathers over my bed that she had implanted in the walls. Mzazzi was standing by the door out of my room next to the light switch.
"How long was I out this time?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"Just one night." Grandpa Seamus replied. He looked over at Jane and Iris and smiled. "When the lasses 'ere heard ya woke up fer a bit they rushed over ta check on ya."
"He he'd been unconscious for days after working for over a week with no sleep!" Jane defended shooting me a look, her face getting redder by the second. Iris however didn't have the same reaction.
"We were scared. You've been working yourself to death for months. If it wasn't for your evos you would definitely be dead." Iris said softly then looked away from me as she whispered. "…I'm not strong enough to survive losing another brother."
"Iris…" I whispered, feeling guilty for not noticing how she was feeling.
"Nope! No water works Star Child!" Iris said sternly then jumped to her feet. "Your Grandfather, Jane, and I are going to leave. You are going to shower because you…reek and then you are going to come into the kitchen and eat. Then and only then are we going to talk."
"I don't reek!" I protested.
"Yes you do!" Iris, Jane, and Grandpa Seamus said in unison. I frowned and crossed my arms.
"You reek but we love you anyway Star Child." Jane said in a teasing tone. I rolled my eyes then huffed.
"I'm so lucky…" I said drolly.
***
"Fuck…I look like shit…" I muttered to myself as I looked at my reflection in the mirror.
Freshly showered and dressed in a pair of jeans and a old tee-shirt, I felt refreshed but weak. It was obvious I had lost a lot of weight in the past six months, my shirt which had been form fitting months ago now looked baggy and hung loosely on my shoulders. My jeans which I've had for years and were snug but comfortable months earlier were now so loose on my hips that I needed to tighten my belt to the last loop just to keep them on.
"You look weary Great One but not…shit as you put it." Mzazzi commented, poking her head into the bathroom and seeing me standing in front of the mirror.
"I look emaciated." I grumbled then ran a hand through my locks which where nappy thanks to the unchecked new growth and months of zero care. "I am emaciated…"
"Nothing a good meal can't fix My lord!" Empress called out from the bedroom. I poked one of my cheek, they were slightly ashy and sunken in.
"Better be one hell of a meal…" I said softly then with a shake of my head I turned and walked out of the bathroom.
Mzazzi filed into a escort position behind me as I passed her. Bone-lasher and Empress were standing near the door to the foyer both looking at me intensely. Thanks to our connection I could feel their worry.
"I'm fi…" I started to tell everyone only to stop, realizing it would be a lie. "…I'm getting better. I'm sorry I worried all of you…sorry I was hurting you. I didn't know but that's not a excuse. I'm your splicer, your family. Its my job to take care of you. I've been shit at that part lately."
"You were doing your best Boss. We've all had splicers that did worse after suffering far less…" Bone-lasher said surprisingly. I sighed at that and looked down at my hands.
"My best means nothing if I can't protect everyone…" I muttered.
Empress stomped over and head-butted me lightly but hard enough to hurt thanks to her metal feathers. "OWWWW!"
"None of that now My lord! General Fours would not stand to see you like this!" Empress exclaimed. She stood tall and looked down at me with stern and furious eyes. "You are Sho'lajah! Our master and lord! General Fours did not sacrifice himself just so you can blame yourself for his passing! He died a proud member of your retinue: Fours, Fourth named of Sho'lajah! Do not cheaper his feelings and devotion to you with guilt and what-if's!"
"You should honor him, not mourn him." Mzazzi added softly as if to soothe Empress admonishment.
I stayed silent for several minutes under the stern gazes of my evos. Feeling both supported and challenged at the same time. They were right, I knew they were. Fours was practical and factual. He didn't want pity when I saw his memories, he wanted understanding and he wouldn't want me to mourn his death, he'd want me to get stronger so the others wouldn't share his fate.
"I hear you and I understand…" I said quietly but sternly. I glanced down at my farm crystal which used to glow with a dull rainbow sheen but was now pale and slightly opaque. "…Fours called me Master…I need to be more than the man he saw that day."
***
"Slow down Starlight before ya choke!" Grandpa Seamus exclaimed as I shoveled a entire waffle into my mouth.
"Mmruph z'm barving!" I grumbled.
"And who's fault is that?" Iris griped with a shake of her head.
"Don't speak with your mouth full!" Jane grumbled.
I hastily chewed my waffle and swallowed it then the started shoveling another one into my mouth. Grandpa Seamus just laughed at this while replacing the empty plate with another one this time filled with various meats. Iris and Jane sat on the two seats next to mine and watched while I ate, looking disgusted the entire time.
I had been in the kitchen eating for the last thirty minutes. Grandpa Seamus had cooked up a breakfast feast large enough to feed a family of twenty, the entire counter of the kitchen filled with plates of various dishes. Half of those dishes were gone within ten minutes of me sitting down. He started cooking again once it became obvious that he hadn't made enough.
"Okay…should we be worried with how much he's eating?" Iris asked as she looked at the nearest floor to ceiling stack of dishes next to the sink.
"He's eating, he's showered, and he's not obsessing over a enchanted items…let's not sweat the small stuff and count our blessings." Jane said. I swallowed a mouthful of bacon then pointed a fork at the plate of sausage.
"The blessing is meat! Glorious mouth watering meat!" I exclaimed then shoved a couple patties in my mouth.
"Don't worry Lass. This is normal, he's not just eating ta refill his own mana but also his evo's mana. He's been taking from them ta fuel these benders. So his body's working overtime ta generate enough mana." Grandpa Seamus explained.
"No wonder I feel like my stomach is a bottomless pit…" I said then shoved a handful of sausage links into my mouth with one hand and reached for a bowl of grits with another.
This cycle of ravenous eating continued for well over an hour before my stomach started to feel like it was full. By that point Jane and Iris were starting to look at me like I was some unnatural being with a black hole for a stomach.
"I'm full…" I groaned and leaned back in my chair.
"I hope he never gets that hungry again, he could start a famine in a single day…" Jane said, eyeing the mountain of dirty dishes.
"I'm pretty sure we could start a religion of gluttony of we let people watch him eat though…" Iris commented.
"Don't care…sliding into food coma…" I groaned and patted my stomach.
"Don't go drifting off yet Starlight. We still need ta have words." Grandpa Seamus said.