I wish I could tell you the story of how Ben faced Lucius Malfoy with nothing but his sharp tongue, making the man pull at his own hair until he went bald.
That sounds like a hilarious story, doesn't it?
Which is precisely why it remains just that, a story.
Nothing of the sort happened.
Malfoy Senior was far too busy cleaning up his own mess to bother with Malfoy Junior's.
After the diary fiasco and his spectacularly stupid attempt to remove Dumbledore from Hogwarts — by threatening members of the Board of Governors, no less — he ended up being removed from the board himself.
What did he expect, going against Albus Dumbledore?
A medal?
His troubles only got worse from there as Rita Skeeter suddenly grew a conscience.
For reasons unknown to most, she had become absolutely obsessed with dragging Lucius Malfoy's name through the dirt in her new paper, The Magical Voice.
There was at least one article a week detailing how Malfoy's so-called charitable donations were slowly poisoning wizarding society.
One particularly explosive piece claimed that a very credible source present at the scene had seen Lucius Malfoy — suspected Dark Lord sympathiser — slip a diary that looked suspiciously like a Dark artefact into the cauldron of a Hogwarts first-year.
That article alone had quite a few concerned citizens demanding an official Ministry enquiry.
It went nowhere, of course. Lucius Malfoy's connections saw to that.
But the failure only handed Rita her next headline: an exposé on how the Ministry seemed comfortably nestled in the pockets of a select few families — the Malfoys chief among them.
Ben was quite satisfied, watching his every sickle being spent well.
Rita, meanwhile, grew bolder by the week. Without editorial restraints, she was finally writing exactly what she pleased.
So bold, in fact, that she even went after Fudge's nephew — Rufus Fudge — who had allegedly vanished an entire Muggle train on a bet that Muggles were too oblivious to notice.
He had not been entirely wrong. Londoners were used to trains running late, or sometimes, as in this case, not arriving at all.
Rufus won the bet.
Unfortunately, he did not win his job back at the Improper Use of Magic Office.
Rita was quick to point out the irony. Unfortunately, not everyone appreciated it.
Rufus Fudge eventually barged into the offices of The Magical Voice, shouting about slander, but was promptly thrown out like a sack of potatoes by security.
Ben — or rather, Arthur — had hired two ferocious-looking men to stand at the entrance, discouraging anyone tempted to cause trouble.
That included, to some extent, the staff.
At first glance, due to their features, one might even mistake them for werewolves.
They really weren't.
That particular paranoia was the ministry's handywork.
To justify her anti-werewolf legislation, Umbridge had the Prophet run a series of alarmist pieces designed to stir fear and suspicion.
Ben wasn't entirely sure how effective the Prophet's propaganda had been without Skeeter's particular flair for exaggeration, but the legislation itself did the real damage. It made lawful employment for werewolves nearly impossible.
It placed a maze of restrictions on werewolves and on anyone foolish enough to hire them. The full list of regulations, naturally, could be found in last Saturday's edition of The Magical Voice.
In any case, Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic, had also attempted to secure a meeting with Rita Skeeter, no doubt to discuss her recent coverage of his nephew.
She declined.
Rita no longer cared. No one could fire her now, and she knew Fudge wouldn't dare take any action that might damage his image further.
At worst, the Ministry might attempt to fine the paper for some convenient violation. But she wasn't the one footing the bill. Arthur Brown was. And Brown had assured her that if The Magical Voice were ever shut down, he would simply fund another one.
But Ben wasn't particularly concerned either.
He wasn't Arthur Brown, after all.
What his deceased uncle chose to do was of no concern to him.
He had more important matters to focus on — like levelling up and, more importantly, preparing a birthday gift.
Fortunately, the two could be accomplished at the same time. And after hours of grinding at the enchanting table, he had finally crafted something suitable.
"Hey, Luna," he said, sitting beside her and placing a small box in front of her at the breakfast table.
"Good morning, Ben," She replied, blinking at the box curiously. "Is it for me?"
Cho and Marriane looked up from their plates curiously as well.
"No, for Filch," Ben said deadpanned.
"Oh," she said, looking completely unbothered. But Ben knew that wasn't really the case.
Ben sighed. "Of course it's for you, stupid. Happy Birthday." He tapped her lightly on the head twice.
"It's your birthday?" Marianne asked, surprised.
"Happy birthday!"
"Happy birthday, Luna!"
The voices spread down the Ravenclaw table, most of the Quidditch team joining in.
Luna nodded politely. "Thank you, everyone." Then she turned back to Ben. "But how did you know?"
"Uh… Flitwick told me," Ben replied quickly. "Open it."
He wasn't about to explain that he'd read it on the interwebs once and remembered because it was the day before Valentine's.
Luna opened the box.
Inside lay a silver chain with a crescent moon pendant.
[Necklace of Waterbreathing]
"Do you like it?" Ben asked.
"Yes," she said softly, holding it closer to inspect it. "It's quite pretty. Just like the moon."
"Did you make it yourself, Ben?" Marianne said teasingly. "How adorable. It's so pretty… just like you."
Yeah, that was still going on. Ben ignored her. He'd learned that reacting only encouraged her.
"It's not just pretty," he said to Luna, "You can also breathe underwater with that."
"You can what?" Roger Davies choked.
Yeah, he does that a lot.
Michael leaned over as well. "You're joking."
"I'm not."
Cho narrowed her brows. "Did you charm it yourself?"
Ben shrugged. "Maybe."
Luna slipped the necklace over her head.
The pendant rested against her collarbone and, for just a second, shimmered faintly like a ripple across still water.
A few nearby students leaned closer.
"Does it work immediately?" Michael asked.
"We could test it," Roger said. "Black Lake's not far."
Cho shot him a look. "Please don't put that thought in her head."
Luna tilted her head thoughtfully.
"Oh! That's lovely," she said dreamily. "I've always wondered what it feels like to listen to the lake from underneath."
Marianne stared at her. "You're not serious, are you?"
Luna looked at her calmly and said. "No, I'm Luna."
Ben burst out laughing and held up his hand. She blinked at it for a second before gently high-fiving him.
Roger cleared his throat, trying to grab Ben's attention.
"So. Hypothetically," he said, "if someone fell into the lake during practice…"
"You're not borrowing it," Ben said immediately.
"I wouldn't mind sharing," Luna said serenely, shocking everyone.
"Really?" Roger looked stunned.
"Yes," she said with a perfectly straight face. "We can test it on you."
-To be Continued...