My heart sank into my stomach. I had expected a variety of outcomes when I next saw my mother. After all, she was not a close friend or simply an ally, but family. I planned on telling her far more than the others but I was still reluctant to say the entire truth. Regardless…
These words were not the first thing I suspected.
"Of course I am?" I answered.
Mom shook her head as she eyed me suspiciously. "In the dungeon…that was not my son," she said firmly.
I closed my eyes for a moment, swallowing the rising panic. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong. That I was her son. I had only ever had one mother and father. It was true, but it wasn't the whole truth.
I had kept my past hidden from them—the reasons were many, whether it be the possible breakdown of our family, their personal feelings, or the simple fact that I didn't want to change how things were. The ever-looming fear that my parents would not see me as their son…it was a thought, a feeling I long pushed away.
I told myself it is better that way. But it seems I can no longer hide it.
I opened my eyes slowly. The cold, distrustful gaze made me want to wither away, but I answered, "You're right. It wasn't. Not entirely, at least."
Her brows furrowed. "What do you mean by that?" she asked coldly.
"I'll tell you everything if you want. About the secret I've been hiding from you and Dad. From almost everyone since the day I was born," I said.
A flash of surprise and even a hint of fear moved across her face as she bit down on her lip. "Then tell me. I want to know," she said, sounding unsure.
I closed my eyes again and stepped through the doorway. "Then come in, we'll need the privacy. It will be a long story," I said.
Mom walked past me and into the room. She chose a chair that was pushed up into a desk and pulled it out to sit with her arms crossed. She wasn't nearly as angry as she was trying to make herself seem. Worry, concern, and fear broke through far more. At least to me, it seemed that way.
I sat down in the opposite chair, and her eyes flashed to my side for a brief second before turning back to me.
"It appears she can sense me to some degree, but not see or hear me. Most likely, it is due to her connection with Avasta. Or perhaps she is far more attuned than I previously suspected," Kronos' voice rang in my ear.
"Did you see something behind me?" I asked.
Mom raised an eyebrow before shaking her head. "I thought I did, but it was nothing. Just the shadows," she answered.
I looked to my side, and Kronos was fully manifested in my vision. There was no way she could mistake the giant if she had seen him.
"Then I'll start from the beginning. But first, I want you to know that you and Dad. You are my parents, my family, and always have been. No matter what you decide or say, I will always see it that way. I will always be thankful, and I will love you all til the day I die. Again," I said.
Mom's face scrunched up in confusion. "What…what do you mean by that? Til you die…again?"
I let out a deep breath. "It's exactly what I said. Since the day I came into this world, I've had memories of another life. A past life…"
I continued on to tell her everything. The fact that I had memories of another life, in another world, perhaps even an entirely different realm of existence. Who Kronos was, and the type of things that I did—my short life, the blood that surrounded me as a soldier.
Even if the scale was impossible for her to grasp, I held nothing back. The countless worlds I burned, the number of lives I ended directly or indirectly, and the inhuman zeal with which I carried it all out until my eventual, pitiful end at the very people who created me. Even the fact that I didn't believe that this was all real.
Her face twisted into confusion, shock, and horror, but she never interrupted me. She soaked up all the information, and I could see the tears on the verge of breaking out as her eyes glazed over in the candlelight.
"And that is mostly it. There is far more, but it is much the same. But what I didn't tell you is that I was not born in that previous life. I was artificially created through science, and other things that, to this day, I do not fully understand, no matter how absurd that sounds. I awoke as a teenager and trained to fight and kill. I was the cold, callous monster you saw in the dungeon who has ended countless lives."
"You and Dad are the only parents I've ever had. At first, I was confused, angry, and lost in this new world. But it was through you two that I changed, and the reason I am who I am today. If it weren't for you and Dad…I don't know what would have happened to me," I said honestly.
Mom's head slumped down. "Then…are you really my son? Are you Kaladin?"
I was about to answer when Kronos' voice spoke to me, "We are, most definitely."
How can you be so sure?
"Because we have someone to compare ourselves to. Nyx is Lin, not the other way around. There is no second soul in her body. This makes sense in light of what she told us. Linnetia Paine was never born, at least not in the sense that her soul was. Her soul never came to be or died almost instantly at her birth, and Nyx's soul inhabited the body via the powers at hand. Which, in case you are wondering, I know nothing about it. But you, Kaladin Shadowheart, have always existed. And so have I. Together we've become one and the same, while also managing to be two different people," he answered calmly.
Kronos continued, "I believe, no, I am almost certain it has something to do with Avasta and her magic, at least in regards to our dual existence. It's the only thing that sets us apart from Nyx and her rebirth. Whatever Chaos magic is, it is uniquely different from all others. It originates in the soul like all other magic, but it is an alien power. It can act on the world in a way that should not be possible. You being able to see souls and the punishment for peering too deeply into them, as well as her being able to see me and another Chaos Dragon passing its soul onto you to keep you alive, is evidence enough."
I nodded to myself. It made sense. Even though I've yet to see what Chaos magic actually is, it was clear that it was unique to them. Magic was already fantastical and illogical as it was, but Chaos magic somehow managed to be in a realm of its own.
With a weak smile, I told her, "Despite that past life being in my memories. I am confident that I am your son. And I always have been. Recently, as you've seen, my past self has returned. Not just memories, but the soul itself, the same soul you saw in the dungeon, took over my body for a time. Even right now, he is standing beside me, as he has grown stronger since the dungeon. We have reason to believe it is because of Avasta and Chaos magic. She seems to be aware of my past soul to some degree, although I don't think she knows exactly what happened."
"So it is my fault…" Mom said weakly. " I knew ever since we had Dallin that you were different…but—"
I cut her off as I stood up and knelt in front of her face. I looked her directly in the eyes and said, "You can feel however you like. Perhaps you will even come to hate me in the end. But please do not regret your decisions. I am eternally thankful for everything you've done for me. If not for you and Dad, I would have never been born. And I would not have had this life. You've brought me into a world in which I've learned to love. I've cried, made friends, and I even have a family of my own, something that I thought was impossible."
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "I wish I could tell you why this is all happening, why I have these memories, and why I have another soul in my body. But the truth is, I don't know, and honestly, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I've long since come to terms with it. This is my reality. You are my mother. Dad and Dallin are my family. The only thing I can do is apologize for not telling you sooner…for making you worry, and cry…again. You once said you were the world's worst mother. But that was wrong. You are the best mother I could have ever asked for. And it is I who is the worst son," I said earnestly as tears finally clogged my eyes.
Mom continued to sob to herself. I was tired, and it felt better to have been impaled by the claw of a parasitic demi god than the pain in my heart. I had said what I needed to say, and I also can't say that I won't regret it. But she deserved the truth. Even if she decided to never speak to me again…I will accept it even if it eats me alive.
And I wasn't the only one who felt that way. With Kronos's connection to me, I also had one with him. Even though it was new, the feelings were odd and distorted. I could still feel the sense of loss oozing from his mind. It seemed with the changes that had happened in my life, he had changed too.
Perhaps this was the natural outcome. Today may very well be our greatest regret.
—
I left my mother to be by herself. There was nothing left for me to say. I had crushed her world in a few short hours. She would need time to come to terms, one way or another.
I was drained by the time I returned to Cerila and Sylvia. I wanted to crawl back into my bed, but even though my mind was tired, my body wasn't willing. And there was much to talk about. The two of them, seeing me as I was, and the fact that I had not returned immediately, was cause for concern.
But I filled them in on everything that had happened with Mom. Both of them looked heartbroken, but they seemed to silently agree not to discuss it again after receiving words of encouragement that it would all work and that they understood and would be there for me. At the very least, I had crossed the bridge with the two of them a long time ago.
From there, I explained to them what had happened to me, how Kronos, my past self, was actually a soul, and was now talking and walking about in my head. But for some reason, neither of them seemed surprised. Cerila was the first to explain that she had met with Kronos after reaching out to me after the defeat of Amon-Ra's avatar. Even before I did.
Kronos even went as far as to remove some kind of blockage in her mind. But for some reason, she couldn't remember what that blockage was or who had put it there in the first place. But it had something to do with her dreams. He had also shown her our past, but that seemed to have had the opposite effect.
"What did you do to her?" I growled in my mind.
"Don't worry about the dreams, that's for her to deal with. And it was nothing you already hadn't done, fool. You should treat those close to you with greater kindness and compassion. We are undeserving of them as it is. You can only be forgiven so many times before they leave you for good," he spat.
I couldn't help but be shocked at the anger and frustration that radiated out of him. I let air out of my nose before I turned to Sylvia, who seemed equally ready to talk about what had happened to her.
"So when you were stabbed, something happened. You wouldn't believe it or…maybe you would but—"
Sylvia brought up a hand, ready to say something, when she suddenly stopped. She looked confused, then in pain, before bending over at the stomach, with breathless words trying to escape her lips.
"Sylvia, what is—"
"Tell her to stop right now. She is trying to say something she shouldn't ever speak to anyone," Kronos said urgently.
I told her to stop trying to talk, and after a few moments she got back up with sweat pooling down her frigentned face, looking far more pale than usual.
"What—what was that? It felt like my insides were trying to come out of me," she mumbled to herself through gritted teeth.
"Apparently, you are now under some restriction. At least, that's what I was told. You should refrain from telling anyone what you saw, directly or indirectly," I explained.
Sylvia put a hand to her head. " I-yeah, okay. I'll do that…" she said weakly.
So some unknown power came into play, and it even helped me. It's probably why my memory is so foggy, a way to keep me safe from the restrictions, perhaps?
I want to say that it makes sense, but that's another wrench in the proverbial messed-up cog that was the dungeon.
After Sylvia calmed herself down and recovered, the two of them explained what had happened while Kronos was controlling me. With that information filled in, Sylvia went back to tell us about her fight with her uncle.
And it once again pointed to the Dragons. Neither of us was sure how we would ever get into direct contact with them, let alone find out how to reach her old master or even find hints of her Grandfather, but at the very least, we could keep an eye out.
It was also another disheartening thing to learn about her uncle. The way he had been enslaved and forced to fight and exist alone in darkness for hundreds of years. There was much to be happy about and even more to grieve over, it seemed.
At the very least, I was told that the Iron Citadel was gone. After a brief moment, we were teleported out the way we came, along with many of the other soldiers. That was also what seemed to distort time, when one was teleported from a dungeon during its collapse and couldn't escape naturally in time. Regardless, the Iron Citadel had been conquered, and with it, the fear of the undead and the easily accessible trade routes that once connected east and west of the continent.
Change is coming, but those trade routes would have turned into highways for war. The City-States are unlikely to remain idle. I haven't kept up with them in a long time, but they will definitely be a player in the future to come.
There was much to do and consider as we prepared to leave for Vinovia. Mom had yet to talk to me, it was clear she was still coming to terms but at least she wasn't yelling at me or acting cold. She just seemed…tired.
And change was not the only thing coming for the world. I would also have to change to meet its demands. Whether I liked it or not, Kronos was right. I was far too weak to do anything.
Amon-Ra and his minions will come to regret their poor choices. They don't know war as I do.
In the meantime…I need to see my daughter…she shouldn't have grown up that much while I was away, right?
—
Linnetia "Nyx" Paine's POV.
"Is Daddy really coming back, Aunt Lin?" Mila asked excitedly for the fourth time.
I chuckled and said, "Yes, he really is, or else you wouldn't be up so late. It's past your bedtime after all."
Mila simply nodded to herself furiously as she continued to stare holes through the front door in barely contained excitement. Her little tail was spinning so fast that if it gained even a little more speed, I was afraid she would take off into the ceiling.
The adorable display earned many warm smiles from the family and staff. Even old man Hei, our guard captain, who despite having a serious outside was a big softy at heart. After all, once upon a time, he, too, had a young daughter. At first, he tried, and many others tried to put a barrier up against the small child, but none were strong enough to hold it.
Mila, Dallin, and Rose had become somewhat of a celebrity group in the mansion. It wasn't odd to see Mila or Rose going somewhere, and young Dallin not too far behind. Hei happened to be the first target when Mila caught wind of him early on at the training grounds. The ensuing events of Mila constantly asking questions, ranging from the nonsensical child to other, surprisingly more serious ones, to the old guard captain at every opportune moment, were quite funny.
Especially his new nickname, "Mister Fuzzy," on account of his hair. Despite being late into his sixties, the man had a full head of black, wiry hair that often puffed out. Simply put, the man struggled with an intense bout of daily, genetic bed hair.
Even so, it was all in good fun. And it wasn't as if anyone could or would do anything. Weirdly, and unknowingly to Mila, she had more political sway than could be imagined. She was the child of Kaladin, personal knight to a princess, the Dragonslayer, friend of the king, and a hero of Luminar, and of course, Sylvia, who was also a Dragonslayer and hero in her own right. Even Dallin wasn't far behind in such regards, and Rosemary wasn't anything to slouch on either.
Three powerful children. Quite the group of friends, I fear for anyone who tries to slight them in the future. Rather, it be a High Elf assassin, a reborn super soldier, or a Grandmaster mage…things would not fare well.
As I watched Mila jump up and down, ready to explode, my smile slowly faded. Dark thoughts entered my mind as I wondered if I had ever been even half as excited to see my parents return. Wasn't that the normal response for a child? Even Dallin and Rose look ready to break away at a sprint the moment the door creaks.
Someone giggled at my side, and I met my mother's eyes. "What?" I asked.
"Oh, nothing. Just remembering you and your brother and how you two were much the same when your father came back from long trips," she said with a warm smile as baby Johnathan cooed in her arms.
"I—I did?" I questioned.
"Oh, yes. I must say it was quite adorable. Your father often laments what happened to his little girl and boy," she giggled.
I furrowed my brows as I tried to remember my childhood. I remembered quite a few things, especially those first few days of my new life and particular events. But the rest? As time passed, many moments of my childhood became blurry, if not entirely gone. There were large gaps in my memory.
I suppose that's normal. It's a part of being Human, of growing up. At one point, I had forgotten what that was like.
A smile returned to my lips as Mila burst forward. If she hadn't hesitated, the door would have hit her, but she had timed it perfectly.
There was a loud grunt as Mila shouted, "Daddy! Daddy! You're back!"
Kaladin walked with an ear-to-ear smile as Mila clung to his neck, nestling her face into his. "Yes, sweety, I'm back," he said softly.
The others funneled in behind him. Dallin shot off to his mother and Cerila with Kaladin's father not too far behind. Alanis was given a room in the manor, and he often rotated from the Dark Elf relief effort to here to spend time with Dallin and Mila. Despite not being the chief of the Shadow Clan, the man had taken on a heavy burden, helping those in need and securing housing, food, and other necessities while also rebuilding.
However, there was something odd. I looked to my side as Mom and Sylas confirmed their thoughts silently. We were aware of what had happened in Curia and the Iron Citadel, but it seemed something had happened to Kaladin's mother.
She had a haggard look to her; her tired, red eyes and general appearance did not seem like that of a victor but of the defeated. And sadly…there was only one person who should have reacted that way.
The room quieted down as a heavy blanket seemed to smother the otherwise happy reunion. Those who were told beforehand looked down at the floor with heavy hearts. I felt a heaviness in my chest as the man slowly walked in behind everyone.
He seemed to have aged twenty years in a matter of months. His eyes sunk into his tired skull, and his usually trimmed beard and hair were in disarray and marked with gray strands. One of the sleeves of his coat dangled empty by his side.
Headmaster…
And poor Rosemary, her excitement dashed in a moment, hesitantly walked up to her father. "…Dad? Where's Mom?" she asked, looking around.
Bowen's eye darkened. "She's not here right now, Dear," he answered in monotone.
Rosemary's shaky hands reached out and grabbed at the empty sleeve. "Y—your arm? Dad—Dad, what happened? What happened to you?" she asked nervously.
Bowen didn't answer as Mom walked over and handed Johnathan to him. "You and your family are always welcome here, for any reason, Bowen," she said firmly.
Bowen nodded weakly and said, "Thank you for taking care of them, Destini."
Mom clasped her hands and bowed as Bowen motioned for Rosemary to follow him.
"Come, let's go home."
—
Kaladin Shadowheart's POV.
The trip back to Vinovia was taken as quickly as possible. We were all given Gryphons to return and raced back. After a heart-wrenching reunion, we split and headed our own way. Sylvia and I took Mila back to our room at the university.
Mila hadn't lasted long as she fell asleep before we entered the gates. My heart and mind were in conflict with each other as I tucked her into bed. On one hand, I was ecstatic to be back with her. A part of me had feared that she would grow too much while I was gone, but that wasn't the case at all. I was just overwhelmed and I realised I was far more worried about her than I previously imagined, and seeing Mila again was a relief I didn't know would be so powerful.
On the other hand, I felt bitter to feel that way, as if it weren't fair I got to enjoy that happiness when someone else didn't. I had tried to prepare myself mentally for what would happen with Rose and Bowen, but there was nothing. The heartbreaking sight of Rose's frightened face and Bowen's pain was too much to bear. And it wasn't hard to imagine the situation flipped, which only darkened my thoughts more.
I sighed to myself as I entered my room. Sylvia was already showering there and I drew a finger across the table, a thin layer of dust had settled. I was about to ignore it when something caught my eye.
What's…this? This isn't mine…
An old, weathered book sat on my desk. I picked it up and scanned the edges of the different papers. It was clear the book had been rebound many times, and the paper was sourced from various places. The first dozen or so pages were old and weathered, and they gradually became more pristine til the end.
I checked the cover, but there was no name on the simple book. At first, I feared it was a trap; no one besides the royals was supposed to be able to enter the room, but with a quick check with Soulsight and a few curious sniffs, the book seemed entirely mundane.
"Poison on the pages? An attempted assassination is not that surprising," Kronos said from the shadows.
I shook my head. It didn't feel like that, but it was better to be safe than sorry. I put the book back down as a plume of dust kicked up and took out a simple knife from my Spatil Ring and flipped open the first page. I scanned the pages as my eyes narrowed. I continued to flip through the first few pages.
"A diary? From Dad? No…more like a letter…to me? He never mentioned something like this," I said, confused.
I wanted to sit down and read through the entire thing, but I felt that it was odd, so I skipped to the final pages. The handwriting changed, as did the author. And then I understood.
"Grandpa…"