A shiver, followed by goosebumps. It was a feeling I never felt during the summer because it was so hot all the time. Now, enough time has passed. Summer was behind us.
"You can't run forever!!!"
My eyes were the driest they've ever been. The wind blowing against my face made me squint. Micro-blinks allowed me to strike a balance between seeing what was in front of me and scratching the itch to close my eyes completely.
"Eira Sasaki!"
My shoulders were light without a schoolbag dragging me down. Adrenaline was definitely pumping throughout my body. Fight or flight, and I was blasting off like Team Rocket. It wasn't a surprise that this was the fastest I've ever run in my life.
Before today, I've never had a reason to run with all my might.
"Eira Sasaki!!!"
"I don't know who that is! You have the wrong guy! Move, people! Move!"
I shouted a warning to the people ahead. Upon seeing us, they moved aside with judgmental looks.
They're getting closer!
My luck was dogshit today. A crowd blocked the way ahead. Terrible damn timing!
I spotted an alleyway branching off to the side. I grabbed onto a street pole and slingshotted into it.
Signs and lanterns greeted me as the way forward became incredibly narrow. Food stalls and stores lined the sides, while large banners hung overhead. I've never been around the back alleys of the city before, and I hoped that it wasn't leading me to a dead end.
That is, if I could even outrun them for that long.
Behind me, the four boys were nearly within reach. I briefly glanced up and focused, eyeing the hanging banners.
A headache reared its ugly head from the depths of my brain. Simultaneously, the strings holding the hanging banners went slack.
The banners plummeted onto the narrow alleyway.
"I almost have her—oof!"
Who expected something that big to fall from the sky? That guy definitely didn't.
The banners were made of paper and cloth, so they weren't lethal. However, they couldn't run through them without getting ensnared. All it took was for the guy in front to trip, and the rest followed suit.
I continued running in a random direction, taking erratic turns at any given moment. I had to lose them here, or it's going to be a bigger pain in the ass.
Once I put enough distance between us, I hid behind a garbage bin and stayed absolutely silent. I kept my ears out for any signs of my pursuers.
"Haah... haaah... Ah, damn it...!"
Grimacing, I buried my head between my knees. I can feel the side effects of Protogenoi-K more clearly now that the adrenaline was beginning to wear off. My head hurt, my vision was hazy, and I felt like the world was tilting.
Along with the fact that I was full sprinting for a good minute or two, I'm pretty exhausted.
"It's been a pretty crappy day so far... it can only go up from here, right...?"
I rested amidst the trash, thankful that I could smell none of it. Eventually, I stood up and peeked from my hiding spot. No one came running by as I hid, so maybe I got away?
Since it's come to this, I'll just go home. Skipping school wasn't worth it.
Carefully, I walked while hugging the wall, asking anyone who passed by for directions and whether they had seen those boys. From what I could gather, they were still running around. It's a good thing I didn't try to outrun or outlast them. Their endurance is truly something.
Maybe because I was careful, I managed to return to the spot where I bumped into Saori and her brothers without a hitch. The thing is, the chimpanzee in question was sitting on a bench, snacking on chips.
Tsk. Having other people do the job for you must be nice, huh?
"Oi."
I called out to her.
"What do you want—Eek! Eira!" Her bored expression quickly collapsed. With panicked eyes, she looked around for backup. Huhu, it's just you and me right now.
Seeing as there was space on the bench, I sat beside her, leaning against the backrest. Saori immediately scooted away, her nose scrunched up in disgust. "When my brothers get here, they'll make you regret messing with me!"
"Hey, do I look worried to you? They ran pretty far." I crossed my legs, side-eyeing her. Indeed, this was the posture of a man filled with absolute confidence. "Besides, look over there."
I gestured with my head. The said reason for said confidence stood silently across the street. He surveilled the area with his arms crossed. Passersby gave the man a wide berth.
"That guy over there, he's my friend," I said inconspicuously.
"Stop lying." Obviously, she didn't believe me. I wasn't lying, though.
"What else would you call a cop? He's a friend of the people, dummy. That includes me. Anyway, if your brothers attack me in broad daylight, that dependable friend of mine won't let such an injustice go."
Saori's eyes widened. That's right, we're not in school right now, it's not past school hours, and we're out in plain view of the public, with the morning sun brilliant in the sky. Of the many adults around us, at least one would try to help me.
I added, "If your brothers really did go gorilla-mode, they could even go to prison."
The mention of prison made Saori frown slightly. She said, "Yeah, right! Kids don't go to prison! Only adults go!"
"Then the cop will call your parents."
Saori paled. That was... a much stronger reaction than I thought.
Oh yeah, that's right. Isn't she supposed to be home right now?
I inspected my nails as I spoke. "I overheard you and your loud mouth earlier. Didn't you say that you were grounded by your dad? Why aren't you at home, Saori? How come you're out here eating snacks and bothering me?" Then, I gasped loudly. "Don't tell me... your dad doesn't know you're away from home?!"
Judging by how stiff she went, that was the case. Oh yeah, she's totally sweating now. You're so easy to read, chimpanzee. So easy.
An opportunity like this is rather rare. I might as well take advantage of it.
But then, as if remembering something, Saori looked at me and smirked.
"Why aren't you in school, Eira? You're not supposed to be here either!"
I guess she's not a complete idiot.
"That's because you're bullying me, Saori. School sucks thanks to you, your family, and your friends." I shrugged. "It isn't that complicated. No one else has balls big enough to keep coming to school if they were in my position. Wow, I'm tired from all that running~."
She grimaced at my words. Hmm. That's probably why she's grounded. I mean, I did snitch to the homeroom teacher yesterday. Parents should be getting contacted by now because of the investigation...
...oh, shit. What do I say to my parents? I completely forgot about that! They'll probably know by the time they get home!
"Eira, you're... you're so...!"
"Huh?"
Before I knew it, Saori had her hands cocked back, ready for a gomu-gomu no gatling gun.
"I hate you!"
I couldn't dodge it. She swung both fists at my chest like machine gun fire. Well, punched is an exaggeration. Was she fist-bumping me with both hands? I'm not feeling it.
"...are you even trying to hurt me?"
"Shut up, shut up!"
"Did you forget about the cop?"
"Ah!"
Saori froze and hid her hands behind her back. The policeman in question was looking at us quizzically. I just smiled and waved.
With a raised brow, he finally looked away.
My mouth curled into a sneer. "Wow~! You almost had your dad called! Ahahaha! You're an airhead, Saori!" Her face grew redder the louder I laughed. I even exaggerated it a little just to really rub it in. Truly, it is fun to mess with kids.
"But..." I leaned closer, my voice dropping. "That's still assault, you jerk. You punched me."
"!!!"
Saori wore a dress with a skirt that reached past her knees. I moved closer and sat on the hem. That anchored her to the bench. When she tried to stand up, well, she couldn't.
"Get away! Y-You're dirty!" She was panicking now, yanking at her skirt while glaring at my hands.
Since I was sitting next to trash earlier, there were a few stains here and there, and I even got some kind of black stuff on my hands. I was too focused on escaping to notice until now.
Ew.
Fortunately, I have someone I can wipe my hands on.
"I'll get off you when you answer one little question." I raised a finger, clearly showcasing the icky stain on my skin. Saori leaned back as far as she could, but I kept pushing my hand closer.
Her throat audibly gulped. The fear or disgust in her voice was satisfying to hear. "Wh-What do you want already?!"
Really, there's only one question in my head.
"Why are you bullying me?"
As if she didn't expect the question, she stared at me blankly.
Is it that surprising? Asking for something that simple can't be that complicated, right? Unless, of course, they're just bullying me for no reason?
"Isn't it obvious, freak? Just look at yourself in the mirror." A deeper look of loathing reappeared on Saori's face.
Is that really it? Just from my appearance alone?
"That's all you have to say? How many years have you been bullying me? Uhh..." I didn't know when it started since I wasn't there.
"Who cares?! You've been disgusting since the day I first saw you!"
I sighed. Well, at least it wasn't for no reason. Still a terrible reason though. But of course, idiots can have idiotic reasons. If Nakamura were here instead of her, I could have gotten a better response.
"..."
I frowned. I just thought of something extremely unpleasant.
...Is it possible?
"...Saori, when did you first meet me?"
"Huh? Why are you asking me that?! Get off me already!"
"Fine."
After multiple attempts, Saori managed to yank off her dress, but only because I was already getting up. She bumped her elbow on the bench as a result. "Ow! That hurt! Ow ow ow...!"
I no longer had a reason to stay. As I walked away, Saori's grumbles slowly faded.
There's no way, right? That would mean that it's...
Taking the train back didn't cross my mind, for I was occupied with more concerning matters. By the time I got home, it was midday. As expected, Mayumi and Kenzo were still at work.
I washed up and quickly cooked a meal consisting of marinated beef and rice.
The honey-golden haze quickly enveloped the food. After a few seconds, the plates were spotless. Even the glass of water was emptied. Only the feeling of fullness was left behind. This was how I usually ate when I was alone. I couldn't enjoy the taste anyway.
While digesting the food, I retreated to my room, lay down on the floor, and stared at the ceiling. I didn't feel like playing games, feeling strangely tired.
I glanced around. My room was decorated with a healthy amount of decor. Trinkets here, family pictures there...
"..."
I couldn't help but glare at the pictures. Mayumi, Kenzo, and Pico were in it, making funny faces. I remember seeing it before and just brushing it off. Now, I couldn't help but feel a heavy feeling in my chest.
Pico... did I really...
Clicking my tongue, I began exercising earlier than usual. I was making steady progress, and my meals have been nutritious. After doing all the home exercises, I changed into jogging clothes and set off.
My mind was still stuck on that one unpleasant thought.
.
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.
.
There was a time when I thought that nothing could faze me.
I was the guy who got trucked, then I became the guy who could easily gain anything, do anything, be anything.
I managed to travel to another world. I easily beat up the Dark Reunion.
I bumped into The Creator, pissed him off, had to wait 9 months in some kind of prison, was really weak for like a minute, then rose to the top of the food chain in no time.
I met the guy who got trucked just like me, and I really thought he'd be able to help, but now, here I am.
I'm not that guy anymore. Now, I'm Pico, and just the fact was enough to make me convulse on the floor. I thought that would be the worst of it.
No, it was only the beginning.
I snitched to the homeroom teacher. Before her, I snitched to other teachers too. I didn't do it because I was desperate, isolated, or depressed. I was just mad that I was spending money because some little brats kept taking my shit. My savings were looking nice and meaty before school, but Nakamura and his idiots were chipping away at it!
So, I snitched. It's only natural how it would go from there.
My parents came home later than usual, and they returned together. They called me to the living room for a "talk." I could already tell what it would be about and was already dreading the talk.
Mayumi spoke. "Eira, your homeroom teacher contacted us. She told us everything."
"...Okay."
It's not that I didn't expect this conversation to happen. The problem is that I didn't plan this far ahead. My snitching was the result of my frustration at the fact that my hard-earned money was dwindling for a ridiculous reason. From my parents' perspective, it's far more serious.
What exactly am I supposed to say in this situation?
Even though I was being bullied, I didn't really feel like any of it was affecting me in the way that it would with the real Pico or any other kid. I found it laughably amusing at best, irritating at most.
"We're sorry we never noticed." Mayumi seemed like she was on the verge of tears. "Sweetheart, why... why didn't you tell me? Tell Dad?"
I looked over to Kenzo. He stood behind her with a frighteningly calm expression. I only held eye contact for the briefest of moments before averting my gaze to the floor.
Seeing them like this made my chest feel heavy. I... wasn't cut out for this kind of talk.
I didn't want them to worry. My entire reasoning is as simple as that. But now that I've had more time to think about, well, everything, it isn't that simple.
"You want to know what your teacher told us?" Mayumi continued as she wiped her face. "She said that this has been happening for a long time now. Even before you lost your memories. Just why...?!"
"Mayumi." Kenzo rubbed her back to soothe her. However, she couldn't let it go.
"Why didn't you say anything back then?!"
Pico wasn't here to answer, so in her stead, I stayed quiet.
"Where did we go wrong...?"
I stayed quiet for a long time. It pained me to see them blame themselves. This is why I kept it under wraps. Pico's parents were that type of people.
"None of this is any of your fault." That's what I wanted to say, but it would only fall on deaf ears. They're good people, that's why.
My mind sifted through every possible response—anything that could make this better, or at the very least wouldn't make this worse. Mayumi and Kenzo waited and waited for an answer I couldn't give.
The hands of the clock ticked away.
In the end, I decided to be as honest as I could.
"I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to bother you," I murmured, but in the silent room, it was more than loud enough. "And... after the memory stuff, everything was confusing. I didn't know how to explain it."
Their eyes grew heavier. Fuck, I can almost hear them blaming themselves even more now. My hands tightened. I didn't know what else to say.
"Hey, Mom and Dad, I'm not your daughter. I'm not Pico, but someone who possessed her.
I didn't mean to, but that is what happened. At the end of the day, I replaced your daughter.
The thing is, Pico has my white hair and red eyes. It's an unnatural color to begin with, so she probably got it from me. There's even a big possibility that Pico was meant to be born male.
Meaning that maybe, just maybe, the reason why Pico is being bullied for her appearance, then and now...
It's my fault."
But what sane adult would believe that? And despite realizing it now, nothing can change the fact that Pico is gone. I've never thought about it before, but where did she go? How is she faring, having lived terribly before being whisked away?
I'm a massive fucking asshole. I still remember when I vowed to erase any memory of Pico from this world. I wasn't in a good place, but man, knowing what I know now, that's a horrible thing to say.
Yet, they look at me with those eyes. My parents were ignorant of the contents of my reflection, and they will remain that way. They weren't mind-readers, and I had no intention of revealing anything.
"I'm sorry."
That was all I could say.
"I'm very sorry."
It couldn't have been fun, Pico. I doubt I'll ever learn the extent of what you endured, but it must have sucked.
Mayumi and Kenzo, you lost your kid because of me.
"Eira... you don't need to apologize to us. You didn't do anything wrong." Kenzo patted my shoulder before bringing Mayumi and me into a hug. "That's all we needed to hear."
"You're not a burden to us, damn it! You should never feel that way!"
I couldn't see, but Mayumi's sobs were cutting between her words. My shoulder felt wet from her tears. Mayumi cried as she, too, embraced me.
I've never felt so suffocated by warmth and comfort.
"We will say it as many times as we have to so you will never forget," whispered Mayumi. "We love you, no matter what."
I'm glad they couldn't see my face. Whatever expression I was wearing wasn't something they should see.
Pico… if you can hear this somehow, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm living your life. I'm sorry I took your place. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from any of what I made you go through.
And I'm sorry that your parents are hugging me instead of you.
Because I don't need it.
And...
Because they love you.
Not me.
With a trembling voice, I spoke a little quieter. "I'm sorry..."
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[A/N]:
Long time no see.
Wow, who would've thought that this series is 4 years old? I mean, most of those 4 years wasn't me writing. Maybe like a good and generous 0.8% of that time was the time I dedicated to this fic.
Another chapter will be published the next day. As for Chapter 45, who knows? Even I don't know.
It'll come out eventually.
Eventually.
Because this bored otaku requires endless days to write a single chapter.