Juliet gulped as she stared at the ominous looking hospital resting atop a hill. "This... Are we really spending a whole day here?" She nervously fiddled with her pink hoodie.
Rin nodded, casually carrying a giant duffelbag of supplies behind her. One large enough to hide a body or three. After adjusting it over her black hoodie with a bloody knife print on the front, and after patting down her black cargo pants, she said, "Yep! Looks fun, right, Julie-chan?"
Hope adjusted her backpack over a spare Ryuusei-kai hoodie she nabbed from Myth Inc. HQ and then tilted her head, staring at the rundown hospital. Then she said, "...I dunno what you're worried about, Julie. It doesn't look any scarier than Valley Scare."
Erie nodded. "Yeah, Julie. It's just your average haunted house looking building. I think Xiao and Wu had a scarier fun house than this." She chuckled and adjusted her gray hoodie with a print of Freddy Fastbear on the front and Nightmare Freddy on the back.
Hana walked up behind the girls, dressed in a plain white t-shirt and jeans. She glanced at them all and said, "I still think the hoodie isn't necessary."
Rin looked at Hana and said, "Of course it's necessary! How else are you going to defend against bite marks?!"
Juliet froze. "...Bite marks?"
Rin nodded. "Mmhm! Like if a wild dog or bear is around!"
Juliet started to shake. "D-Dog? B-B-Bear?!"
Hope tilted her head. "Are you scared of animals, Julie?"
"HOW ARE YOU NOT?!"
Erie laughed. "Oh no~ Is our fair lady Zen scared of a few animals? After murdering a whole ballroom?"
"People aren't scary! Animals are!"
Hope stared at Juliet's shoulder and slowly said, "If people aren't scary, then you aren't scared of that white hand on your shoulder, right?"
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Juliet immediately curled up into a ball and said, "Take me home, take me home, take me home..."
John slammed the back trunk of the van shut and walked over, rolling out a crate of supplies. Then he glanced at Juliet on the ground and adjusted his button-down white shirt. "...Uh. Should I? Take her home?"
Erie stared at Juliet, frowning. "...Are you really that scared, Julie?"
Juliet slowly stood up, her olive green eyes wide and shaking. "YES!"
Rin tilted her head and said, "But I'm here? I've killed ghosts before! ...I think?"
John looked amused and said, "Weren't you the one who screamed that she didn't want to be isekai'd around the time I came to visit you at your house?"
Rin turned a beet red and said, "Th-That was a long time ago! Besides, I figured it out!" She pointed at John and said, "You're a meanie, Mister John! You gaslighted me!"
John coughed. "Ah, well..."
"I knew it!"
John laughed. "...Like you said, it was a long time ago. I was still working out some issues too."
"Hmph!" Rin crossed her arms. "...You're lucky I forgive you. But in exchange-"
"You don't get Rory babysitting privileges."
"Darn it. Worth a try..."
Hana chuckled and then reached up to stretch. "So are we camping in the hospital then all night?"
John patted the crate and said, "I've got everything set up here for a full Phasmalphobia setup IRL. EMF readers, voice recorders... the usual ghost catching set up. And I've got talismans, bibles, and other things too if you're really that scared."
Juliet perked up. "...You have a copy of the Bible with you?"
"Multiples. Which one do you want? I've got one I raided from the Vatican, one I stole from Nicolas Flamel, one I transcribed myself after meeting Jesus..."
Juliet gave John a blank stare.
John laughed. "Fine, fine. I'm kidding. Well, not about raiding the Vatican. The rest are just the usual editions you'd find in a bookstore."
Erie walked over and cracked the case open, her emerald eyes widening in surprise. "Whoa... you really do have everything. Is that an urn of saint's ashes?"
"Technically?"
Juliet slowly turned to look at John. "...Johnny? Tell me you're joking."
"Well, *technically* it's a Saint." John shrugged. "It'll take a while to explain how they're Saints, but I can assure you that they're probably even more divine than the ones you'd find in the Vatican catacombs and ancient library."
Erie's eyes widened in shock before narrowing in triumph. "I KNEW the Vatican had a secret chamber!"
"It's nothing special." John sighed. "I thought I'd find the holy grail or some cool things there, but it's just dusty bones, dead white men, and old books. There's not even a copy of the necronomicon or the dead sea scrolls. Literally just an old archive... I did find an original copy of the King Arthur's tales though. Le Mort de Arthur or something."
Juliet blinked. "Wait. You really raided the Vatican?! What if you get divine retribution?"
John laughed. A full, deep, belly laugh.
Juliet looked worried. "I'm serious!"
John laughed again and then wiped tears out of his eyes. "Oh man... Divine retribution? Me? Pfffffffft. I'd like to see them try. I've dealt with worse."
Hope giggled and said, "You worry too much, Julie! Dad isn't going to die to something silly like that!"
Silence.
Juliet, Rin, and Hana turned to look at Hope.
Erie facepalmed.
Hope blinked. Then she realized what she said and turned a deep red. "I-I mean Mister John! Mister John, not Dad!"
Rin immediately turned to John and said, "Mister John! That's not fair! How come Hope can call you Dad and I can't call you Papa?!"
"Huh?" John blinked. "You never asked. Of course you can. I mean, technically since Asako married Alphy, you're kinda sorta my daughter-in-law anyway."
Rin gasped, her light brown eyes twinkling with joy. "I HAVE A PAPA?! OH MY GOSH! YES!"
Hana gasped too and said, "Does that mean I can call you Papa too, Mister John?!"
"Sure?" John laughed. "I'm just glad grown women and teens aren't calling me Daddy... The troubles that used to cause..."
Erie wrinkled her nose. "Ew. Daddy? Mega ew."
Hope cringed and crossed her arms. "No! Off-limits! Bad!"
Rin flinched and crossed her arms in an 'X.' "Yabai! No! No Daddy! Only Papa!"
Hana quickly nodded. "Yes!"
Juliet was strangely quiet.
Everyone slowly turned to look at her.
Juliet blushed and said, "W-What? I used to always call my father Daddy..."
Erie gave her a blank stare. Then she calmly said, "We found the girl with daddy issues."
Juliet turned a deep red and said, "I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES!"
Hope tilted her head and said, "Julie... Your debut stream has an animation that practically spells out Daddy Issues in capital letters..."
Juliet froze. Then she covered her face. "...Just kill me already. Turn me into a ghost. I'd rather die..."
"Hey!" Erie laughed. "That's my line! And nope! If you die here, we'd just stick you into an IDOL body like Hana!"
Hana gasped and clasped her hands together. "Oh my god! You could be Zen for real! And my kouhai forever! Does this mean if you get disembodied then-"
"WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT!" Juliet quickly interrupted and said, "I am NOT about to tempt fate into turning me into a ghost in a robosuit! Especially when Erie owns a franchise infamous for rumors about just that!"
"Oh." John spoke up. "It's not rumors. The animatronics were actually haunted. I fixed that though."
Dead silence.
Erie slowly turned to John. "...What?"
"Well, it was dangerous. Plus, they were kids. I figured I should help them pass on." John shrugged. "They're still pretty spooky looking though. A bit unsanitary looking, too. But I made sure it's all clean and safe, so no worries when you inspect them."
More silence.
And then Rin screamed. "WE HAVE REAL HAUNTED ANIMATRONICS?! WHERE? WHEN? HOW!? CAN I FIGHT THEM?!"
Erie quickly interrupted and said, "No fighting my company assets!" She glanced at John and said, "They're mine, right?"
"Yeah. They're also en route to Japan. Had to freight them over on a ship though, so it might take a while."
"Yes!" Erie pumped a fist in the air. "It's going to be so cool!"
Juliet flailed her hands, clearly stunned by the revelations. "W-Wait. Wait, wait, wait. How do you know they were haunted, Johnny? Like, ghosts aren't real, right? It's just-"
John pointed at Hana.
Hana gave Juliet a disappointed look.
Juliet froze. "...You mean. It's... not a bit?"
"Nope." John shook his head. "Hana's a real ghost. Well, half a ghost? She's like, literally part of Rin's soul. The nicer part." He paused. "It's a bit complicated on the math though. Since Rin healed her soul, Hana's not really part of Rin anymore, but she's still Rin too in a way. And she healed her soul too, so she's technically Rin, but also Hana, and-"
Erie cut John off and said, "Soul complicated, we got it! But that just means that Operation Spooky Fun House is DEFINITELY a go later!" She rummaged in the crate and pulled out some walkietalkies and EMF readers. After that, she tossed a pair to Hope and said, "Hope, Bestie. Let's get going!"
Hope grabbed them and adjusted her (currently) pink hair before smiling. "Yeah! Let's go! Ah." She paused and tilted her head. "Since we're in Japan, will the ghosts even understand us?"
Erie paused.
"Oh." John spoked up and said, "Don't worry. Ghosts understand all languages. But if you come across something that speaks only in Japanese, it's probably a yokai. You should definitely start slashing with one of these spirit blades and ask questions later then." After saying that, John handed out a small knife with a trail of glowing paper talismans attached to the hilt.
Juliet stared at John.
John stared back.
Juliet slowly said, "...This isn't a bit, is it?"
"It would be if we were in America. But Japan has Yomi, so things like that apparently sneak out every now and then. But don't worry. Even if you get attacked, I'll heal you."
Juliet stared at John.
John stared back.
Juilet kept staring.
John finally cracked and chuckled. "Okay, fine. It's a bit."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Really really?"
"I swear on my great Dao of Accumulation."
"...Fine- Wait." Juliet side-eyed John. "...Are you implicitly confirming your lore entry?"
"I dunno. Am I?"
"...I hate you."
John pointed in the distance and said, "Hate me or not, the other girls already ran off."
"WHAT?!" Juliet spun around and saw that, true to John's words, Hope, Erie, Rin, and Hana had already sprinted towards the hospital on the hill.
"W-Wait! Guys! GUYS! DON'T LEAVE ME! THAT'S HOW THE FIRST WHITE GIRL DIES IN A HORROR MOOOOVIEEEEE!"
===
John chuckled as he watched Juliet run after the other girls. But as he did, he glanced at the hospital. And at the various ghosts and yokais hiding inside it.
As he did, he said one word. "Behave."
The ominous malice that wreathed the hospital, invisible to the girls...
When John spoke, it visibly flinched and actively dispersed itself, leaving just a few of the milder spirits and yokai.
After that, John nodded and leaned against the van, setting up camp for the night.
Just in case Juliet gave up and sprinted back.
Because knowing her, she DEFINITELY would.