Warning #1: This is a Waifu Catalog story that turns Multiversal very quick
Warning #2: Morally questionable MC, he's a contractor
Warning #3: Bisexual MC with many fetishes, again he's a contractor
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"Well, this is awkward to say the least." I said with a smile. "The last thing that I expected while returning from a grocery run was to be greeted by the great leader of the devilkind." I said with a laugh while staring at the redheaded form of one Sirzechs Lucifer, who was also smiling as he sat on my couch.
"Do not worry, I doubt that most people do expect to see me in their house after a grocery run." The redheaded Satan said with a chuckle. "But you are not exactly the most people are you, mister Hohenheim?"
"Call me Roy." I said with a groan as I ran my hand through my hair. "Going around calling myself by that name sounds far too pretentious."
"Weird, most other hero descendants are quite proud to declare their heritage."
"You mean like that Beowulf guy you have, the guy that the whole supernatural community knows as the 'lackey' of your peerage." I said with a laugh as I pulled a can of coke from one of my grocery bags and opened it as I started to reminisce about my new life, even though it probably wasn't the best thing to do with the Satan Lucifer before me.
Hilarious. To think a former regular joe like me could get the attention of a multiversal slavery and isekai organization like the Company. It may have cemented my existence as a man of very loose morals at best but damn if the powers were not worth it.
There was something about a past life of mine they talked about but I was far more focused on babes and power part of the deal.
"We're not here to talk about my adorable pawn, mister Roy. We're here to talk about you." Though I could do without the attention of this overpowered demon. "It's quite fascinating you know, your file I mean." He said as a stack of papers appeared in his hands with a flash and started going through them.
"You are the last known descendant of the legendary mage and alchemist, Paracelsus von Hohenheim. Someone who was considered to be a rather talented mage during your younger years in Grauzauberer, one with a moderately powerful Sacred Gear even, before suddenly dropping out with the claims of wishing to study alone. Only to reappear years later, four months ago exactly, in Japan and open up a small business, a cafe." He read through all of it and gave me a look with a raised eyebrow.
"Mental training. There is nothing that can phase me after working in customer service." I said with a proud smile and thumbs up as I remembered that little adventure. A mission from Company called 'Slice of Life'. To see if contractors could keep up a small business like a cafe running for at least two months straight.
"Sounds reasonable. Yet you closed the cafe only two months after opening it." Which was exactly how long I could bear customer service. "You activities after that seem to be a case of small appearances near some small time incidents that no one really cared about. Till now." Sirzechs declared before giving me a cold look.
"Approximately three weeks ago, you came into contact with one Zephyrdor Glasya-Labolas. Who disappeared four days after that meeting and is currently all but considered dead." Satan Lucifer said as he threw down the photo of mentioned lost devil. A tanned guy with very pointy ears, blue spiky hair and zero sense of fashion. "What do you know about it?"
"That he has horrible taste. Seriously, who was the cruel bastard that told him that jacket with that shade of yellow went good with his hair?" I deadpanned before blowing at the picture, making it fall to the ground. "And that we both know that you don't care about some worthless guy like him, not enough to come here yourself instead of sending some lackey devil at least. So what's the real reason you're here?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, despite already having a pretty good idea. But who knows, maybe the guy would surprise me.
"Because about a week ago, you appeared in Kuoh town. Where you sneaked up upon three different kids and... and punched them in the nuts." Hehe, Johnny Cage Special. It never fails to amuse. "In my sister's territory." And the moment is ruined.
"Now, I am willing to offer some clemency if you were to accept a certain position and..."
"Dude, just stop." I cut him off with a sigh and I placed my hands on my face, taking a deep breath and giving no fucks about the weirded out expression on his face. "You really ruined it."
"Excuse me?"
"You're not excused." I bit back, which seemed to actually shock him. "You know when you started to talk about that asshat Zephyrdor, I actually had some sort of expectation. That maybe you had some amazing plan that would show me the man who won the Devil Civil War and had himself declared fucking Lucifer cause no one else had the balls to say anything against it due to your power. But no. No, you just had to dash it all off and make this about your goddamn sister instead." I groaned, genuinely disappointed in the man before me.
"The whole community knows that you are a siscon. Just like they all know Azazel is a worthless leader who can't control his Cadres and that Michael has as much spine as a flatworm when it comes to Church. But at least they try to hide their failings, even if they have very little success. You on the other hand, just ran with it and made yourself an absolute joke."
I could see that my words were finally starting to annoy him, getting him out of his stupefied state at my audacity. Putting some of the war general who butchered thousands back in the wheel.
Which meant it was my time to go. So I took out my Company issued smart-device and with a push of a button...
"You're boring, Sirzechs."
...I was out of DxD universe.
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"Haaaah, I really lost myself back there." I muttered to myself as I sat down on a bench, none of the people around seemingly caring about the fact that I literally appeared out of nowhere.
I had seriously lost control of myself back there, my disappointment in Sirzechs far too great. I wasn't even sure why, not like the guy was ever presented as anything other than a very massive siscon. Just because there had been some differences in the world didn't mean that the guy would suddenly become more respectable.
Still, it had been a good thing that I had done those missions in order to fill out the gauge of Exit Stage Left. I didn't even want to imagine what would have happened if I lost myself like that without my 'escape-from-universe-free' card. Not to mention it was good that I had no retinue or company based items lying around or I would have to use a portal instead of the instant transmission to come to... whichever universe I was in right now.
"Where am I anyway?" The Millennium Wheel I could see right now meant that I was in some version of London but which? I fiddled with my company device for a moment and then smiled as I saw it.
"Harry Potter huh? I can work with that." Rias was only beginning her first year in Kuoh when I left so I could spend some time in this universe and probably with at least two or three more before going back to DxD without the shit really hit the fan. That was plenty of time to have fun and make a proper plan to make Sirzech suffer for disappointing me so much.
"I can definitely work this." I said with a chuckle as I bought myself Paper Trail and put my smart-device back in my pocket. Right before it started to buzz, making me take it back and read the message from Company.
[Emergency Mission: We want YOU to prove your worth!
It seems like someone up in the Company has gotten annoyed with you for something you did, making them wonder if you actually are worth the investment.
To do so, they have changed the history of your current world in order to plant a secret organization and made one of their goals your death or enslavement.
This organization is consisted of characters who had their history changed due to the existence of said organization, expy characters modeled after others from different universes and even immigrants from other dimensions who found themselves in this universe. And their leader is a powerful(whatever it is your current world has) who the same tier as the most powerful non-imaginery tier being of your world.
Until the leader of this organization is defeated(either killed or captured), you can not leave your world and your talents are nerfed to fifty percent.]
...
...
...
"Okay, now this might be a problem."
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