Naruto Uzumaki had been planning this prank for a week.
Not because the idea itself was complicated. That part had taken about five seconds. The hard part was everything else. The timing of the patrols. Which chunin liked to linger too long near the eastern stair. Which side of the Hokage Monument had the worst sightlines. Naruto had watched it all carefully, perched on rooftops with a popsicle in hand, counting footsteps and memorizing routes.
Iruka sensei would have been proud, if he ever found out. A ninja was supposed to observe, after all.
Naruto crouched on a narrow stone ledge halfway up the mountain, the village spread out beneath him in neat little squares. From up here, Konoha looked calm and harmless, like nothing bad ever happened in it. The wind tugged at his jacket as he dipped his brush into the bucket of paint and wiped the excess against the rim.
This was perfect.
He started with the First Hokage, carefully painting thick, exaggerated eyebrows that made the stone face look permanently shocked. Then he added a wide grin, teeth just a little too big, like the old man was about to laugh at a joke only he understood.
"Relax, old guy," Naruto muttered. "You look like you could use it."
The Second Hokage got a monocle, carefully outlined and connected to a chain that draped across his stone cheek. Naruto stepped back, squinting.
"Yeah. You definitely look like the type."
The Third Hokage took longer. Naruto hesitated, brush hovering, then finally added a long, drooping mustache that curled at the ends. It made Hiruzen look softer somehow, less like the man who always stared down at Naruto with that heavy, sad smile.
Naruto did not think about that too hard.
The Fourth Hokage was last.
Naruto hesitated again, then dipped the brush and painted bold orange streaks across the stone hair, adding three thick whisker marks on each cheek. He paused, then added a crooked grin that felt strangely familiar.
"Much better."
Working quickly, he went back over everything, thickening lines and fixing spots where the paint had dripped. He added long whisker marks across the monument as a whole, tying the faces together like they were all part of the same joke. Every few seconds he stepped back, head tilted, admiring his work.
The Hokage had always looked too serious. Naruto was fixing that.
He was just finishing the last line when shouting echoed from below, sharp and sudden.
"Naruto!"
His stomach dropped, but only for a moment.
"Yep. That's my cue."
He grabbed the bucket and took off, boots scraping against stone as he sprinted along the narrow path carved into the mountain. His heart pounded, half from fear and half from excitement. Footsteps thundered behind him, heavier and faster than he liked.
"Stop right there!"
Naruto laughed breathlessly and cut left, nearly skidding off the edge before catching himself. Someone shouted his name again, louder this time, close enough that he could hear the anger in it.
He rounded a corner and brought his hands together in seals without slowing, muscle memory taking over.
"Transformation Jutsu!"
Smoke burst outward in a white cloud, swallowing him whole. When it cleared, Naruto Uzumaki was gone.
"Where did he go?"
The mole squeezed into a thin crack in the stone and vanished from the open path.
Naruto stayed frozen, pressed flat against the rock, listening. Voices echoed nearby, angry and sharp at first, then slowly fading as the guards spread out and searched in the wrong direction. Even with his body this small, his heart felt too loud, thudding against his ribs like it wanted to give him away.
When the mountain finally went quiet again, Naruto let out a breath he did not realize he had been holding.
"Well," he whispered, whiskers twitching. "I'm dead anyway."
That thought settled something in him. If he was going to get punished no matter what, he might as well take it when their anger was mellowed out.
He turned and scurried deeper into the mountain, claws clicking softly against stone. The air changed the farther he went, growing cooler and sharper, carrying a strange pressure that made his skin itch.
The tunnels widened without warning, stone smoothed and shaped into clean, deliberate paths. This was not some forgotten maintenance passage or half finished tunnel.
This was built.
"…Whoa," he breathed.
ANBU territory.
Naruto hesitated for all of two seconds.
Then he transformed.
Smoke puffed softly as the mole vanished, replaced by a red spotted ladybug. Light as air, he fluttered forward, following the flow of movement and chakra without really knowing where it would take him.
There was no single entrance, no dramatic doorway. The mountain simply opened up around him, passages branching and reconnecting like veins. Masked figures appeared and disappeared between corridors, moving with purpose, never lingering.
It was like a living system.
Naruto drifted along the ceiling, wide eyed.
This is where the real ninja go. No wonder nobody talks about it.
Two ANBU stood near a junction in the tunnels, one leaning against the wall, the other checking a scroll. Their masks were different, one shaped like a hawk, the other like a fox.
The fox mask tilted his head slightly. "You feel that?"
The hawk mask shrugged.
Naruto froze mid air.
"…Cool."
The hawk mask pushed off the wall and moved on. Naruto floated along with him, letting instinct guide him rather than logic. If he was caught, he was caught. If he was not, then this was the coolest punishment delay ever.
The deeper he went, the quieter everything became. Voices dropped to murmurs. Footsteps were softer. Even the lighting dimmed, seals embedded in the walls glowing faintly.
Naruto drifted too close to a passing ANBU and suddenly found himself snatched out of the air.
His panic spiked, then flattened as he forced himself to stay still.
The ANBU studied him briefly, mask tilted in mild annoyance rather than alarm.
"Kikaichu," the shinobi muttered. He turned Naruto slightly, checking the markings on his wings with professional familiarity. "That Aburame really needs better leash discipline."
Naruto stayed frozen, mind racing.
The ANBU carried him along without hurry, until they were at a quiet office space carved into the stone, unoccupied except for a desk and a few sealed cabinets.
The shinobi set Naruto down gently, more careless than cruel.
"Stay," he said out of habit, already turning away.
The footsteps faded.
Naruto remained where he was, heart pounding, staring at the empty room.
He waited. Counted his breaths. Nothing happened.
A slow, dangerous grin spread across his tiny face.
"…I really should not be here," he whispered.
Naruto stayed perfectly still on the desk, wings tucked in, spots facing up, every instinct telling him not to move.
If the door opened, he would bolt. Simple plan. Foolproof. Probably.
Footsteps approached instead.
The door slid open, and Naruto bolted toward it when the female ANBU stepped in and caught him mid air, mask shaped like a cat. She moved straight to the desk without hesitation, setting a sealed file down alongside Naruto. Her eyes lingered on him for half a second longer than comfortable.
"So you must be the captain's bug," she said dryly.
Naruto froze harder.
"Tell him his request for the A rank jutsu has been approved," she continued, already turning away. "He can use this token in the archives to receive it. Recon mission has been assigned as well."
She placed a small metal token beside the file, etched with layered seals, then finally looked directly at Naruto.
"Well?"
Naruto panicked. Thinking was overrated anyway.
"Lady."
The kunoichi blinked.
Naruto flapped his wings harder. "Lady lady lady lady."
There was a pause.
Then Naruto tilted his head and added, with what he felt was excellent bug commitment, "Laaaady."
The ANBU stared at him for a long moment. "…Of course. Another one of his stupid jokes."
She shook her head and left without another word, the door sliding shut behind her.
Naruto waited exactly three seconds.
Then he burst into silent laughter, rolling onto his back and kicking his tiny legs.
"Oh man," he whispered. "That worked."
His eyes drifted to the token.
He knew he should not touch it. He knew this was the point where everything officially crossed into very bad territory.
But free jutsu was free jutsu.
And besides, Naruto had a reason. A good one. A really important one. If he could not do the Clone Jutsu properly, he was not graduating. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many times Iruka tried to help, his clones kept falling apart like wet paper.
Naruto fluttered down to the desk and nudged the token with his head.
"…Sorry, mysterious captain guy," he whispered. "But I'm borrowing this."
He paused, then nodded to himself.
"I'll do your mission too as compensation. Dattebayo!"
Smoke puffed softly as Naruto dropped the transformation and replaced it with another. When it cleared, an ANBU stood alone in the office.
"Okay. Walk like you belong."
Naruto stepped out of the office, unaware that the mix of reckless curiosity and impossible luck carrying him forward was already setting the foundation for a legend within ANBU, one no one would realize they had created until it was far too late.
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Author's Note
Hey everyone!
This one-shot was an absolute blast to write. Fun fact: I originally wrote this prompt over on Reddit, and it stuck with me enough that I had to share it.
For anyone new, this fic is going to be a collection of one-shots that I'll add to whenever inspiration hits or I stumble across a prompt that really grabs me. There's no fixed schedule here—just ideas I'm excited about and want to explore.
If you've got a concept or prompt you'd love to see turned into a one-shot, feel free to drop it in the comments. I can't promise I'll get to everything, but if something clicks, it might very well become the next chapter.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy this one!