Zekram Bael POV
The Teleportation Circle lit up.
I smiled as my old friend arrived. "Misphisto Pheles."
"Ah, Zekram! It's been too long." He held his hand out, and I shook it warmly. "When was the last time we were together? A decade ago? Time sure does fly, doesn't it?"
"It seems like just yesterday that you ran away from the Underworld."
"Bah!" He dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "Do you have to drudge up those old memories? Those Satan Bastards! It was their fault, if they had even been the slightest bit more kind, I would have stayed behind. I don't understand why you worship them so much."
"Hmph. I don't worship them. I respect their status as the original Satans. I freely admit that the world is a better place now that they're gone."
"I fear if we get into this argument again, it'll be just talking around in circles." He looked around hesitantly. "I heard that Runeas was awake, she isn't here, is she?"
"If she were, you would have already been beaten up." I pointed out.
He let out a sigh of relief. "I fear not much in this world, but that thing scares me."
I could only shake my head. "Why must you hold that old grudge? A simple apology and things would have been settled centuries ago. You know how easygoing she is; if you just told her you were sorry, she would forgive you."
"Never!"
Hopeless.
"I wonder how your students would react if they saw this petty side of you."
"I am a proper devilish gentleman; I am allowed a degree of pettiness." He turned his nose up. "How's the family?"
I smiled again. "They are doing well. My descendants continue to multiply and progress with each generation."
"Especially with the newest generation. That young one of yours has been causing a lot of commotion across the world. I've been keeping an eye on him, he's quite the Magician. Has he expressed any desire to join a magician organization? I would love to pick his brain."
"I can't speak for Wilhelm." I said plainly.
"If you want to reject me, just say so. Is there a need for those false polite avoidances between us?" He sighed. "But I digress. I'm happy that your family is doing well. As much as I would enjoy catching up, I suspect you invited me here with an ulterior motive."
"I can't deny that." I would not do him the injustice of lying to him. "I do need your help if you are willing, my friend."
"If you call me a friend, I feel like I won't be able to reject you. For the sake of my self-preservation, I won't confirm anything until I hear it, however."
"I would expect nothing less from the Devil of Contracts." I hummed. "Very well, follow me; I have some stuff sorted."
I let him through the house to my personal study. I waved my hand out to the large center table. "I have the relevant documents laid out here."
He walked over, picking some up, and started reading.
"I…wish to steal an item of some importance from a location that makes it difficult to do so." I tapped an old blueprint of the bunker where the organization operates.
Where the relic of God resided, hidden in their archives, going unnoticed by the humans of faith there who use it as their headquarters.
"What is important enough for you to deem a heist the best course of action?" He asked.
"I cannot say."
"Cannot say?" He repeated, eyeing me. "Then it most certainly must be important. No hint?"
"I…" I did not like keeping my old friend in the dark, but it was not something I could speak about. "It is of the upmost importance, Mephisto. I cannot say what it is or the objective behind it. But I can tell you this: the world is going to become loud and chaotic soon, so you best prepare."
He put the documents down. "I know you aren't the type to falsely state such dangerous things. IF you're warning me, then I will treat it appropriately."
I gave him time to look over the documents some more. It was my thoughts, my observations, and personal notes about everything regarding the location.
"I am confused," he spoke up.
"Speak."
"...Why do you need my help? From what I understand, the humans here are…to put it nicely, not very strong. You should be able to go in very easily, disable all of them and take whatever it is you want without any danger to yourself. Is there something I'm missing?"
It was a question that would have been asked eventually, and one I had an answer for. "The constraint is that we cannot be discovered. Nor can they know that something was stolen from them at all. It requires absolute secrecy."
He opened his mouth before furrowing his brow. "Explain it to me."
"If they know they were robbed, they will investigate. They will look over their inventory; they will take measure of what remains and what was stolen, and they will discover the object in question. They do not know what they have, and I would like to keep it that way. Because once they know, they won't be able to keep it a secret and the world will quickly find out."
"It better not be the body of you-know-who's kid. I told you the last time we stole a corpse; that was the last time. And I mean it."
I snorted involuntarily. "It's not that man's corpse. We both know he didn't leave a corpse."
He clapped his hands. "The painting has started to become clear. From what you wrote here, the…zealots that are housed in this facility, their average level should be around mid-class in strength. Even without me, you still should be fine. Your magic isn't that bad, Zekram. A few illusions could get you in and out."
"The second problem." I held up a finger. "The insides are brimming with Holy Power. I could feel it from just observing at the outskirts. I could suppress it, but I could not do so while trying to maintain an illusion, or multiple spells to hide my existence. At least, I could not do it quietly. I would be noticed quite easily."
"Ah, that does certainly put a damper on this." He rubbed his chin. "And what do you expect me to do?"
"You're the best Magician I know. I believe you would have a solution."
"Compliments will only get you so far." He chuckled. "But there's a slight problem."
"Yes?"
"I'm also a Devil, Zekram." He deadpanned. "Do you think I can waltz in and ignore that kind of Holy Power just because I don't live in the Underworld?"
"Could you not craft spells to hide yourself or to quiet our presence?" I asked.
"I most certainly could. But do you have any idea what kind of magic that would require? The kind that is anything but subtle. So we can trade loud holy smiting for loud magical extravaganza." He waved his hands. "Feel free to pick what you prefer."
"Can you not do it?" I asked him again.
"So, let me understand this properly." He held up a hand. "Just so I have all the facts straight."
"Go ahead."
"You wish to enter a building saturated with Holy Power."
"Yes."
"Without anyone seeing you."
"Correct."
"Without anyone sensing you."
"Correct."
"Without suppressing the Holy Power in a detectable fashion."
"Yes."
"Without using sufficiently powerful concealment magic that it becomes detectable."
"Precisely."
"Then steal something."
"Yes."
"Without anyone realizing it was stolen."
"Correct."
"And you refuse to tell me what we're stealing."
"Unfortunately."
Mephisto stared at me. "This is why you don't have many friends."
"If you are unable to do it, simply say so. I will find someone…more competent." I looked at him.
His eye twitched slightly. He raised his hand, pointing at me, with his mouth opening and closing. "No, I know what you're doing. It won't work, it won't work!" He stomped around. "You're a right bastard!"
"If you can't do it, just say so."
"Fuck your mother!"
"My mother was Lilith," I said plainly. "I believe she rejected you."
"You are an infuriating old man!"
"I suppose I shall ask my descendant. Perhaps he will be able to do it."
Mephisto's nostrils flared and he crossed his arms. "You're trying to make me angry. But it won't work. I can freely admit that Wilhelm is a magnificent magician. I have no need to put my pride—"
"I was talking about my 11-year-old descendant, Millicas." I interrupted him.
"..."
"..."
He jumped at me from the other side of the table.
[Line Break]
"Why is it that every time we meet up, we end up fighting?" I asked my old friend, nursing a bruised cheek.
"Because you're an asshole." He spat out. "We go a decade without seeing each other, and I forget that. Which is why I come running back when you ask for help."
He got up and walked back over to the table, tidying up the documents I had set up and readjusting the schematics for the building.
"Look, I'll be fully honest with you. I can do what you're asking, but –" He held up a finger. "And it's a big but, because your requires are utterly ridiculous. I would need a few weeks, maybe a couple months to set up the proper ritual. It's not a matter of magical talent or skill, your're quite literally asking some insane parameters here. If you removed even a single requirement off that long list, it becomes significantly easier and I could do it in my sleep."
"Unfortunately, I cannot. I must uphold all those requirements otherwise it would be a pointless endeavor." I shook my head.
"Yeah, I figured. Even when you're being annoying, you don't do things for no reason." He clicked his tongue. "There is an alternative, however. A simple one that you may be overlooking."
"Yes?"
"Ask for help from someone else." He said dryly. "Specifically, not a Devil. While the difficulty would still be noticeable, if the ones doing the theft weren't Devils like us, it would be much more manageable."
I didn't respond right away, and he narrowed his eyes.
"Oh me…" He raised his palm to his face. "You already know that. Of course you do; it's obvious. Why haven't you asked anyone else for help?"
"It's important to keep things secret." I threw it out.
"Right. My money's on your damn pride. What, you don't want to ask for help?"
"Bah, what do you know!?" I scoffed. "Damn it all to hell! Fine, maybe you're right." I folded immediately. "I said I would handle it, and now I have to ask for help. How do you think that makes me look."
His expression softened as he walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "Zekram, I say this as a friend. No matter how much anyone else looks down on you, it won't ever reach the depths of which I do."
"Get out of my house!" I slapped his hand to the side.
"Hahaha!" He just laughed as if it were some incredible joke.
"If you're not going to help, then go ahead and leave. I'll call someone else." I scowled, dismissing him.
"I'm already here; I may as well see this through." He still chuckled between words. "Just call someone in, then we can plan properly."
I would not normally lower myself, but the needs of the times have forced my hands.
At the very least, I would not be begging for help from outsiders.
I took out the strange phone that I was given. I was only told that it was magical, but not much else, and I called.
The screen lit up rather quickly, a familiar face looking back at me.
"Zekram? This is a surprise." Wilhelm, my descendant, looked at me.
From over his shoulder, I could also see the blonde young lady of his. "I apologize for interrupting your private time." I could more or less guess what was going on with them. "I, however, unfortunately find myself at an impasse and seek your assistance."
"What's wrong?"
I took a deep breath. "The location of the Relic mentioned before. It's not unobtainable by me, but to secure it without any alerts raised is…being found problematic."
"Hmm." He went quiet.
There was something going on in the background. They were at a pier of some sort, with some strange ships docked.
I didn't bother to ask; it was none of my business.
"Specifically, it seems that my existence as a devil makes things more complicated than normal," I added.
"Ah, well, then I may have an idea. Though…."
"Though…?" I asked.
"I know some people. I trust them, strangely enough. But they can be…difficult."
"I can put up with difficulties. If they are accomplished enough to earn your praise, then I can ignore everything else. But I would like an assurance that they are…skilled for this job." I could swallow my pride; I could put up with dunderheads, but if they were incompetent, that is where I would draw the line.
"When it comes to thievery, I dare say, they might be the best in the world."
"That is high praise." Perhaps things have turned out simple after all.
"Are you at your house right now?"
"Yes, that's correct." I nodded.
"I'm going to use your phone as a connection point; I'll send them over in a few moments. Just…be patient, I suppose. They may not have much knowledge about magic or such things. If they ask a question that may seem ridiculous or suspicious, just go along with it."
"...Very well." I know not what eccentricities they have, but that was simple enough.
He cleared his throat. "I should clarify. They are very competent, despite any appearances they may have."
"I understand."
"Despite what they may say or do."
"I will withhold initial judgment."
"I want to emphasize, despite anything stupid they appear to do on the surface, they actually know what they're doing."
"...Very well." I am beginning to have second thoughts. "Please send them over before I change my mind."
"Alright. And, please be gentle; they are friends of mine." He said before the phone got cut off.
That felt much more reassuring than anything else. I have seen the lengths he goes to protect those he considers close to him.
"Was that Wilhelm?" Mephisto asked.
"Yes." I didn't hide it, and he already knew it, so there was no point in denying it. "He will be sending over some of his…friends, expert thieves, as it appears."
"Ah." He just nodded. "That makes things easier then. "Did they give any names? Perhaps I've heard of them? I do keep an ear to the ground for clever and skilled people in all walks of life. You never know when you need a professional with a specific skill set, you know."
"I don't—" Before I could finish, one of his iconic portals opened up nearby, and two people stepped out.
A human with orange hair, a hat on his head, and a cigar in his mouth. He held a cane at his side, leaning on it.
There was a woman, very short, with pink and brown hair and a matching bit of clothing. She had an umbrella that she twirled in the air before smiling.
"I heard you're looking for a pair of thieves." The man spoke up, taking the cigar out of his mouth. "Roman Torchwick, and this is my partner, Neo. The best thieves in the world. Now, what can we do for you?"
I evaluated him.
Prideful, arrogant, confident. They practically radiated off of him in spades.
"Do you have any qualms about stealing from religious fanatics?" I asked him.
"My good sir, I consider it my personal duty to do so." He said with full sincerity.
"Excellent," I smiled. "I do believe we will get along quite well."
[Line Break]
A/N
So, it's important to remember, before this point, Roman and Neo don't know about Wilhelm's status, about magic, about other worlds, etc. Wilhelm basically went, here's an abridged version: magic exists, I'm from another world, and want to accept a job stealing some shit?
Roman: You had me at stealing some shit.
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