Rey found himself sitting across from the lady again. Even though he insisted that he should not engage in any sort of relationship with this lady, he still couldn't get himself to leave. Rajiv had a hysterical laugh when Rey called him to ask for her number.
"Only yesterday, you told me that she was too good for you, and now you want her number? Oi is your mind in the right place?"
"I don't know. By the way, just so you know, I just want to talk to her. It's not like I'll do something else. Even if I can't sleep with her, I don't see the reason why we can't be friends!"
"Are you trying to fool me or yourself?"
"Oh, come on, I am not trying to fool anybody. I just like her."
"Oh, you just like her? Damn, I must have been speaking in German all this time!"
"Seriously?"
"Seriously what? You do realise how much you are contradicting yourself?"
"I want to see her, Rajiv. I can't help it. I am thinking about her all the time. I spent the entire night thinking about how.."
"Oi oi oi, hold your horses there. I don't want to hear your fantasies, man. Geez!"
"I was not going to talk about something sexual; come on! You are turning into a pervert, Rajiv."
"It must be your influence."
"..." Rey was a little silent for a while.
"Alright, listen, I need you to think about it at least till the afternoon."
"About what?"
"About whether or not you really want to go forward with this. I mean, you woke up, and the first thing you did was ask for her number, so it's pretty obvious. Still, I want you to think about this properly."
"Alright."
Rajiv was about to hang up when Rey spoke again in a rather low voice, "Oi? Are you sure I won't mess it up?"
"I am positive."
"Yes or no?"
"It's a little more complicated than that old chap. See, if you do mess it up, then I will pray for you."
"What do you mean?"
"You'll see." Rajiv chuckled and hung up. Rey was left confused by this. He could not understand what Rajiv meant. All he knew was that he really wanted to see this woman again. He couldn't get her out of his head.
"Are you alright?" asked the lady leaning in. She sounded a little worried. Well, Rey wasn't really looking up from his plate. He was sweating a lot and stammering at every word. Sharmishtha seriously felt that Rey was ill or something.
"Huh? No, no, I was just thinking about something! Ugh, yes, I am fine. Hmm, that's it," Rey replied hastily.
"You don't sound alright. Let me check your temperature." Putting down the cutlery, she held out her hand and cupped his hands. "Your hands are cold."
She then held his wrist and remarked, "Your heart rate is very high. Are you sure you are alright?"
Her gesture flustered Rey. His face had turned very red. He gulped as she cupped his hands and held his wrist next with her soft, warm hands. Obviously, his heart rate shot up, and he was getting very nervous about the lady touching his hands. This was a first for Rey. He had no idea what to do. He never felt flustered by the touch of a woman. It used to be quite the opposite, in which case he would take full advantage of the situation as he realised that they were already captivated by him.
Rajiv was correct in labelling him lecherous and perverted. That was him until this lady came along. She had a firm grip on his heart, which he couldn't shake. He'd be so nervous just talking to her that he wouldn't be able to think about anything else. Was he truly madly in love? He couldn't understand.
"You don't seem fine at all. Your face is turning red." She suddenly moved her hand to his forehead, and before Rey could understand what she was about to do, her head was already over his face. She was so close. Rey looked up and lost his breath. He felt so suffocated, yet so warm.
She was gorgeous. He remarked. Her almond-shaped hazel eyes were lavish against her big lashes. She had a small, sharp nose that accentuated her sharp bone structure. Her apple cheeks were puffy and peachy against her olive skin. She had a mole on the left side underneath her thin coral lips and another mole on her upper lip on the right side. She was so close that Rey could also spot a mole on her neck, hidden by her dark brown, angelic hair. As he tried to avert his eyes to look away, he found himself staring right into her gaze.
"You are sweating. But you don't seem to have a fever," she said again. She had not yet moved from her position. Rey felt his soul would flutter out of his body at any given moment.
"I...uh...I am fine," he said with much difficulty as he attempted to wipe his face with a handkerchief. Sharmishtha returned to her position.
As much as he felt suffocated, he really didn't wish for her to move away. It gave him a strange sense of happiness. It felt pleasant and warm when she touched his forehead. Even though she had moved away, Rey could still feel the warmth of her hands lingering on his forehead and hands.
Sharmishtha was observing quietly for a while as he kept touching his forehead while eating, then asked Rey out of the blue, "Are you nervous?"
This was enough to push him over the edge. He nearly choked on the food and began coughing. Sharmishtha dashed in to get him some water. She gently patted his back while holding the glass over his mouth to calm him down. Rey drank quietly from the glass, not looking at her. He was already ruffled by her patting his back and standing so close to him. Her perfume was enticing him to approach her. She had a meadow scent on her. It was sweet and mild. But he didn't even look her in the eyes. He didn't want to screw things up right now. He wiped his mouth quietly after drinking the water. Sharmishtha took her seat once more.
"I am sorry," she said in a low voice. Rey was baffled by her words. What on earth was she apologising for?
"I apologise. I'm sure Rajiv forced you to do it." She spoke once more in her clear, low voice. "You can disregard him. I understand why you're feeling nervous. After all, I've always been told that I'm quite frightening, and my solemn expression is enough to make anyone's heart race. Anyway, I'm getting off track; as I said, you can ignore Rajiv and move on. You are not required to do this. If you want, we can all call it a day right now."
Rey was perplexed by her words. She got everything wrong. He tried so hard not to make a mistake, but he did. What should he do now, God? His anxiety was increasing. He eventually drank some water to calm himself down. He was feeling a little better. He tried bravely to confront her again, but his efforts were futile. He just couldn't stop himself. She was simply captivating. Rey drank some more water. He chose to speak without looking at her.
"Er, Miss, No, Miss Sha-rmishtha; yes, Sharmishtha; please wait until I finish speaking. I am deeply sorry to inform you that I am unable to comply with your request. I am unable to proceed. I'll never let you go...ever." Rey's words had Sharmishtha frozen on her spot.
"I am sorry that I could not convey it well," Rey continued. "But after what you said, I feel compelled to respond. I can't keep quiet when you think I don't want to be with you. Do you think Rajiv forced me to do this? Actually, the opposite is true. I had been hounding him to set up a date with you. At first, he refused to agree. Naturally, I can't blame him. He adores you as if you were his own sister. I would not have agreed if I were him. People refer to me as a leech, a pervert, or scum. I've taken advantage of every woman I've ever met. I couldn't possibly love anyone. So, when I met with you yesterday, I had decided not to proceed with this. I had come to the conclusion that you were too good for me. That is how I still feel. But, being selfish as I am, I couldn't stay away. So here we are, on another rushed date. I understand you were extremely busy and had to work this time around your hectic schedule. It makes me extremely happy. So much so that I'm at a loss for words. I assume you're interested in me to some extent."
Rey raised his head. Sharmishtha smiled teasingly. "As for me, this is very new," he said, averting his gaze. "As a result, I am extremely nervous. Every movement you make, makes me nervous. I've lost control of my senses and conscience. I wish I could keep staring at you, but I can't. My heart rate increases, and I feel out of breath. I get nervous and sweat a lot. I must appear rather unpleasant. But if you could please bear with me, that would be great. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I don't want to lose you. I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you, so no, you don't have frightening looks. Your gentle touches are so comforting that they linger on my skin. I've never felt happier in my life. I've never been happier. I beg you to bear with this inexperienced man because I have never been in love."
Rey had no idea when he began to cry or when his voice began to break. But after he finished speaking, he was at a loss for what to do. He appeared to be helpless and broken. Sharmishtha maintained a firm gaze on him. "Are you saying you love me?" she asked again in a low, clear voice.
Rey was at a loss for words. He sat quietly there. He couldn't answer the question because he wasn't sure how he felt. After a while, he broke down and said, "I haven't figured it out yet."
"I guess we'll figure it out together," Sharmishtha said fondly, cupping his left hand. Rey raised his head to meet her gaze. Her unfazed expression had softened into a sweet smile, as if welcoming him into her life. Rey's eyes were dry. He didn't stop staring at her. "By the way, it's Shyra for you," she said, breaking the silence.
"Huh?"
"Call me Shyra if that's okay with you," she said once more. Rey nodded and averted his gaze. Sharmishtha was about to let go of his hand, but he held it tightly. "Please, please," he begged softly. She smiled again and let him hold her hand. Rey was content with a fuzzy feeling he couldn't understand. That smile suited her perfectly. He couldn't think of anything to break that smile. If it were ever lost because of him, he would kill himself.
Before Rey realised it, the pursuit of love had already entangled him in the red thread of destiny. Whether he accepted it or not, it was true that he was on the verge of losing his mind, while his heart had already been lost. He wasn't sure when it happened, but he had surrendered to her even before he spoke. There was no hope left for him; he was already drowning in this ocean, but he wanted to dive even deeper and possibly asphyxiate. When he was afraid of ruining her with his lustful desires, this ocean known as love ruined him more than anything else.