I left right after lunch.
One weak little "I feel sick," and the teacher waved me off. Yui caught me at the door, eyes all big and worried.
"Kuku-chi, you sure you're okay? You look pale—"
"I'm fine," I cut her off, already walking. "Just need to lie down."
I didn't look back.
"Take- care…," I heard her voice behind me.
Yeah.
The Uber smelled like cheap air freshener. I stared out the window the whole way, phone still off in my bag, the photo burning in my mind.
After 15 minutes, we reached Asahi. Quiet residential streets, two-story houses, a glowing vending machine on the corner.
Same ordinary neighborhood as always. My place was just a few turns deeper in.
By the time I got home I was moving on autopilot—shoes off, straight to my room, straight to the drawer.
The little bag was still there.
I grabbed a plate from the kitchen, came back, dumped the rocks out, and crushed them with the edge of a card until they were fine and white.
Two clean lines.
I leaned down and took the first one in one sharp breath.
The burn hit, then the familiar cold rush behind my eyes.
Only then did I sit on the edge of the bed, staring at the second line, and let myself remember Yui's voice again—soft, careful, like she already knew I was lying.
My phone buzzed on the sheets.
Of course it was her.
"Heyyy u okkk?? 😭 I'm pretty worried..."
I stared at the screen until the words blurred, then typed back with one hand.
"Just got home. Gonna lie down. Don't freak out if I go quiet for a bit. 😅"
I almost added a sticker. Didn't.
"Okiii, rest well and call me if u need anything. 💖"
I turned the phone face-down and reached for the second line.
Inhaled it. God, it hit harder than the first.
I let myself drop onto the bed, staring at the empty plate on the drawer. Then Takumi crossed my mind. Still sleeping, probably.
I grabbed my phone and typed a short message saying I couldn't come tonight. Something came up.
Then, I checked the time.
2:00 PM.
I switched the phone to airplane mode. Mom wouldn't be home for another four hours.
I pulled the little white bottle from the drawer—Solanax. My prescription. For anxiety and the trauma I'd been dealing with since childhood.
Guess even now, I still couldn't get my own head under control.
I shook two into my palm, dry-swallowed them, and made a face at the bitter taste.
Then I curled up, pulled the blanket over my head, and let the meds knock me out.
The dream I had was all over the place, and way too bright.
I was back onstage, wearing my usual black-and-purple outfit, but the spotlights felt wrong. Cold. Empty.
The crowd wasn't cheering. They were just staring at me. Thousands of people, all with the same creepy, blank faces.
Aika stood right in the middle of the stage, wearing that perfect idol smile. Then she opened her mouth, and my voice came out.
The scene changed.
I was little again, back in that horrible apartment. Cheap alcohol. Cigarette smoke. My father's hand around my throat. I couldn't breathe. I tried to push him away, but my hands went right through him.
Then I heard Uncle's voice.
One sharp sound.
And everything went quiet.
Suddenly, I was back at the club. Ryo's hands were on my waist, the bass shaking through my body. I turned to look at him, but it was Takumi.
Those eyes. That unreadable expression.
He just watched me kiss him, like he couldn't care less.
"You're not even mine," dream-Takumi whispered. "You never were."
Then the photo appeared.
Me in that stupid black wig, with someone else's hands all over me.
One photo became ten. Then a hundred. They covered the entire stage, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't tear them away. They stuck to my hands, my clothes, my skin.
Then the lights went out.
I woke up gasping, my heart racing, my mouth bitter.
5:45 PM.
Gray light slipped through the curtains.
Mom would be home in fifteen minutes.
Shit.
I threw off the blanket, wiped my face, and headed straight for the plate.
I grabbed the plate, rushed to the kitchen, washed it, and put it back in the drawer.
Back in my room, I picked up the empty package and a lighter before heading to the bathroom.
I burned the package and watched the plastic curl up in the flames. Once it was gone, I tossed the remains into the toilet and flushed.
Okay.
I'm safe.
At least for now.
I went out to the kitchen and waited.
Five minutes later, the front door opened.
"Kuru, I'm home!" Mom called from the hallway.
"Welcome home, Mom!" I called back.
She walked into the kitchen, took one look at me, and raised an eyebrow.
"You look pale, girl. What happened?"
I let out a sigh.
"Got sick at lunch. Sensei let me leave early." I shrugged. "Guess my body decided it was done with today."
Mom gave me a long look, her expression softening a little.
"Did you get some rest?"
"Yeah. I slept for a bit."
She didn't ask anything else. Instead, she stepped closer and gently ruffled my hair. I rubbed my head against her hand without thinking about it.
"Good. You need to take care of yourself, Kuru."
I scrunched up my nose at the nickname, but I didn't pull away.
Mom gave me a small, tired smile.
"And whatever's going on, you don't have to deal with everything by yourself. You know that, right?"
I looked away, playing with the sleeve of my black hoodie.
"Yeah, Mom. I know."
I just wished knowing that made things any easier.
We stayed like that a little longer, then Mom started cooking.
"You eating?" she asked without looking up.
"Yeah. I should."
I ended up at the cutting board helping with the vegetables for the miso soup, mostly just to keep my hands busy.
When the food was ready we sat down and said "Itadakimasu" like always. The soup was fine. I mostly just needed something in my stomach.
We ate in the usual quiet for a few minutes.
Then someone knocked on the door.
I knew who it was before Mom even stood up.
Mom wiped her hands on a towel and headed for the door.
I stayed in the kitchen, listening.
"Kenji," she said, her voice even. "You're early."
"Rumi." His reply was calm, in that same low voice he used at the bar. "Brought something for you."
I heard the soft rustle of an envelope changing hands. The usual routine. Money, no long speeches.
"You didn't have to," Mom said.
"I know."
A brief silence followed. They always seemed to have those whenever Uncle came over.
Mom stepped aside. "We're about to eat. Stay. There's enough."
I looked up as he entered the hallway. Sunglasses on, even with the sun already gone, and that black coat making him look like he owned the whole damn doorway.
Mom glanced at me, waiting for me to do what I usually did. Keep quiet and let her handle things.
Instead, I met her eyes and gave her a small, pointed look.
I need to talk to him. Alone.
She held my gaze for a second before giving the tiniest nod.
"Go wash your hands," she told him. "I'll set another place."
Then, she turned her back to us and went to the counter.
Uncle finally looked my way.
I kept my face blank, tugging at the sleeve of my hoodie, but my heart was thumping out of my chest.
The photo.
Please, Uncle, tell me you took care of it.
Uncle took a seat across from me, his eyes settling on my face.
"It's taken care of," he said quietly. "Nobody's getting their hands on that photo. Your secret's safe, Kuru."
I finally let out the breath I'd been holding. God, I'd been freaking out over this for hours. I could actually breathe again.
But then Uncle leaned back in his chair.
"There's just one more thing we need to talk about."
My stomach dropped.
Seriously? Wasn't one disaster enough for today?
"What is it?" I wanted to ask, but before I could get the words out, Mom returned with a bowl of soup.
Mom placed the soup in front of Uncle before taking her seat again.
Uncle brought his hands together and muttered a quick, "Itadakimasu," before we all started eating.
Dinner was… well, normal enough. Not awkward, but not exactly cozy either.
I guess that's what happens when a family has been through way too much shit and is still trying to figure out how to stay together.
Once we'd finished eating, Uncle finally spoke up.
"There's something I need to discuss with Kurumi," he said, setting his chopsticks down. "I'd like to borrow her for a little while."
Mom stopped collecting the empty bowls.
"For how long?"
"Not long."
"Kenji."
Just his name. Quiet, but enough to make the room feel a little different.
Uncle looked at her.
Mom set the bowls aside and wiped her hands on a towel.
"She's had a rough day. Whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow, can't it?"
"Unfortunately, no."
Mom's expression barely changed, but I noticed her eyes flick toward me.
"And this has nothing to do with your business?"
Uncle sighed through his nose.
"Rumi, I'm not asking her to get involved"
I looked between them.
Oh, great. Dinner was officially over, and the family drama had started.
"Okay, I think you two need to chill," I cut in, already feeling a headache coming on.
Both of them turned to look at me.
"Mom, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself." I crossed my arms, giving her a little pout. "And... whatever Uncle wants to talk about, it seems pretty important."
Mom studied me for a moment, clearly not thrilled with the idea.
I sighed.
"Come on, Mom. I'll be fine. Promise."
Mom gave me one last look, then sighed.
"Fine. But you're calling me if anything happens, Kuru."
"Yeees, Mom. I know." I gave her a little pout. "You're acting like I'm going off to war or something."
"Kurumi."
"Okay, okay! I'll call."
Uncle stood up, slipping his black coat back on.
"Thank you for dinner, Rumi."
"Just bring her home in one piece, Kenji."
He gave her a small nod. "I will."
A few minutes later, we were outside, walking toward Uncle's car. The night air was cold enough to make me pull my hoodie closer around myself.
Mom followed us to the gate, her arms folded against the chill.
"Take care of yourselves, both of you."
"Got it, Mom!" I called, already opening the passenger door.
"And Kurumi?"
I turned around.
"Don't do anything stupid."
I pouted. "Mooom! You're embarrassing me!"
That got the tiniest smile out of her.
"Good. Then you can be embarrassed and stay safe."
"Yeah, yeah. Love you!"
"Love you too, Kuru."
I climbed into the car before she could give me another lecture. Uncle got behind the wheel, and I waved at Mom through the window as we pulled away.
She stayed by the gate until we turned the corner.
I leaned back in my seat and let out a long sigh.
Okay. Family drama over.
Now, what the hell did Uncle want to talk about?
"Okay, now that we've got that out of the way…" I turned toward him, trying to sound patient. "What did you wanna talk about?"
Uncle barely glanced at me.
"Your boyfriend got arrested."
…
Huh?
My brain straight-up stopped working.
Takumi got arrested?
TAKUMI GOT ARRESTED?!
"WHAT?!"
I practically shot up in my seat, staring at Uncle like he'd just told me the world was ending.
"Wait, wait, WAIT! When?! What happened?! Is he okay?!"
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Please tell me this was some kind of sick joke.
"Calm down. He wasn't arrested, but he came close. The cop did grab him, but he pulled away."
…That didn't make it any better!
Wait. A cop?
Why the hell was Takumi anywhere near a cop in the first place?!
"What happened?" I asked, trying to keep my voice under control. "And why are you telling me this like it's the most normal thing in the world?"
Uncle shrugged.
"Because he wasn't arrested."
"Oh, wow. Thank you. I feel so much better now."
"You're welcome."
I stared at him.
He stared back.
God, I wanted to throw something at him.
"...Are you kidding me?"
"A little."
"UNCLE!"
He chuckled, apparently pleased with himself.
"Relax, Kurumi. He's fine. He made it out, and the situation was handled afterward."
"Then why would you tell me he got arrested?!"
"Because your reaction was entertaining."
I sank back into my seat and covered my face with both hands.
I swear, one of these days, this man was going to be the death of me.
"I'm going to start charging you for emotional distress."
"Put it on my tab."
"You're unbelievable."
"And yet, you still love me."
"I'm reconsidering."
"That's unfortunate."
I dropped my hands and glared at him again. He looked far too pleased with himself for someone who had just taken several years off my life.
"Fine. Can you at least tell me what actually happened?"
His amusement faded a little, though the faint smile remained.
"Kid had his first mission."
I blinked.
"...His first what?"
"Mission. With us."
I slowly turned toward him.
"...What exactly do you mean by a mission?"
"Collecting a debt."
I stared at him, waiting for the rest.
Uncle kept his eyes on the road.
"From a politician. Things got a little messy when the police showed up. Your boyfriend nearly got caught, but he managed to get away."
My stomach twisted all over again.
A politician? The police? Takumi?
What the hell had he gotten himself into?
"And you thought this was something you could casually tell me after dinner?" I asked.
"I thought you'd appreciate knowing he's alive and well."
"That is not the point!"
"Then what is the point?"
"The point is that you could've started with he's fine!"
"Hm. I suppose I could have."
"You suppose—"
"Kurumi." He finally glanced at me, his expression settling into something more serious. "He made it out. The matter was taken care of. He's fine."
I pressed my lips together.
I wanted to believe him. More than anything, I wanted to believe him.
But the thought of Takumi being grabbed by a police officer, even for a few seconds, made my chest tighten.
And apparently, while I've been worrying about my own problems all afternoon, he'd been out there doing God knows what.
I looked at Uncle again.
"I cheated on him, Uncle…" I whispered.
Somehow, that was the first thing that came out of my mouth.
He glanced at me briefly before returning his attention to the road.
"Yeah. I know. I've been making sure nobody finds out. Wouldn't want it affecting your career, would we?"
I winced.
He let out a quiet sigh.
"I told the kid not to do anything that would hurt you. The others laughed and said you'd probably be the one to hurt him first."
Ouch.
I sank lower into my seat.
"Wow. Thanks. Really appreciate the vote of confidence."
"Anytime, sweetheart."
"I'm serious!"
"So am I."
I shot him a betrayed look, but he seemed perfectly content to keep driving as if he hadn't just teamed up with an entire group of men to roast me.
Honestly, whose side was he even on?
"I'm your niece!"
"And I'm the one cleaning up your mess."
…Okay. Fair enough.
Still, I didn't have to like hearing it.
"You're an idiot," I hissed. "Takumi's an idiot. My father was an idiot and an abuser."
I let out a groan, half theatrical, half genuine exasperation.
"Why are men such idiots?"
"Can't speak for all men," Uncle said. "But I can confirm Shiba Takumi is an idiot."
"Wow. You're supposed to be the adult here."
"I am. That's how I know."
I shot him a look.
He chuckled.
"Besides, the kid's got guts. More than sense, sometimes. That's probably why he gets along so well with Tetsu."
"That's not exactly reassuring."
"Wasn't meant to be."
I groaned again, letting my head fall against the seat.
"Unbelievable. I'm surrounded by idiots."
"Careful, sweetheart. You're starting to sound like your mother."
"Hey! Mom is perfectly normal!"
"Of course she is."
The way he said it made me narrow my eyes.
"Uncle, don't start."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
Liar.
A few minutes later, he slowed down and turned into a parking spot near Konohana. The car came to a stop, and he switched off the engine.
"Come on," he said, unfastening his seat belt. "Let's go."
I took a breath, still feeling uneasy about everything he'd told me.
Then I opened the door and stepped out into the late evening air.
The cold hit me the moment I stepped out of the car, but I barely noticed it. I was already halfway to the entrance before Uncle had even gotten out.
"Kurumi, don't run off," he called behind me.
Yeah, sure. Like I was going to wait around after hearing that Takumi had nearly been arrested.
I pushed through the bar's entrance, and the noise hit me all at once. The place was packed with yakuza spread around the tables, drinking, laughing, and making enough noise to wake the dead.
Nobody paid me much attention. Good. I wasn't here to socialize.
I headed straight for the counter, where a familiar voice rose above the commotion.
"Should've seen the kid, bro. He broke the cop's grip like it was nothing," Cobra said.
Johnny huffed beside him.
"I still caught his ass and pulled him into the van, though!"
A few of the men around them laughed.
Oh my God.
This was so much worse than Uncle had made it sound.
I pushed past a couple of guys standing near the counter, searching the crowd until I finally spotted him.
There.
My heart practically stopped.
His hair was a mess, and his clothes were dirty. He looked like he'd been dragged through half the city and then thrown into a washing machine with the wrong settings.
Tetsu was beside him, with Cobra and Johnny nearby, all of them looking far too relaxed for people who'd apparently just had a run-in with the police.
Of course those idiots were with him.
I couldn't care less about them right now.
"You fucking idiot," I blurted out, rushing straight toward him.
Takumi turned at the sound of my voice.
"Kurumi—?"
I didn't let him finish.
I threw my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as I could, burying my face against him. I didn't care that his clothes were dirty or that half the bar could see me doing this.
For once, I didn't care about any of that.
I just needed to know he was really here.
That he was okay.
That I hadn't almost lost him without even knowing what was happening.
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" I blurted out, barely giving myself time to breathe. "I told you we're already a bunch of junkies! We don't need to get involved in actual crime, too! We're artists, Takumi! We're supposed to make music, not get ourselves arrested!"
I tightened my arms around him for another second before pulling back enough to look at his face.
"God, I was so worried… And then Uncle had to tell me you'd actually been arrested!"
I smacked his shoulder lightly.
He winced, more out of surprise than pain.
"Oh. Uh, sorry."
I stared at him.
"Sorry?"
"Yeah. I mean, I was feeling lonely since you said you wouldn't come over, and then Tetsu told me I'd get ¥400k, so I was like, yeah, I can't really turn that down."
I blinked.
He just said he missed me and I couldn't be with him. Because I was busy. Burying the evidence of what I did to him.
The irony made me want to laugh and cry at the same time.
And worse, he took a job with the yakuza. Because he was lonely and wanted ¥400,000.
God. What were you thinking when you brought two idiots like us together?
My anger slowly fizzled out, and I found myself looking at him a little differently.
"...You're such an idiot, Takumi."
"Yeah, I've heard."
I let out a small laugh despite myself, then wrapped my arms around him again.
"Just… don't scare me like that again, okay?"
He hesitated for a moment before hugging me back.
"Okay."
For once, I decided not to lecture him any further.
He was here. He was safe. And I could hold him as long as I wanted.
That was enough for me tonight.