Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purpose only. Written by Mislead. I don't own fgo or fate or any of its franchise cuz if I had then gacha rates wont suck as hard as they are now.
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"Live on damnit! Show all of them the worth of your weak pathetic world where even the weakest of all doesn't have to die! Prove it that your weak little world where everyone can smile has more worth than this cruel one!"
Ah..... Patxi.....
"I wonder how it is like to grow old and not be crushed."
Ah...Ah..... Gerda.....
"So as long as I and whoever comes after me, keep smiling...Spartacus will always live on...."
Ah....Ah....Ah...
It Hurts. It's very painful.....Someone stop this.....Someone help me....
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Ritsuka woke up from his short nap in one of many, seemingly infinite, rooms of Atlas Workshop or rather as it is called now, Novum Chaldea.
After another exhausting morning of dealing with his servants and other responsibilities, he has decided to take a short break from everything and have some rest in one of the least visited rooms in Novum Chaldea.
However perhaps that wasn't a good idea seeing as how the nightmares he avoid mentioning to anyone came in full-force with more pain than usual just when he took a short nap.
Ritsuka looked at his hand, hand full of callous, from all the ordeals he has survived. Yes, survived. It has always been like this. Surviving through the Incineration Of Humanity, Remnant Order and finally...The attack on Chaldea. Never once he stood victorious only taking solace in that illusory victory, yet even that didn't last for long.
Forces of the Alien God attacked and forced them to run away and fight. Just like the last time. However this time, unlike last, there wasn't any assurance nor the moral strength that had helped him through Incineration Of Humanity.
He then looked at his command seals. These command seals that represented his responsibilities, his duties, his bonds. He closed his eyes and focused on his command spells, feeling many bonds that he held with those Heroic Souls.
Just as he was focused on his bonds, experiencing through it the feeling of uneasiness and anxiety, 'Their' faces passed through his consciousness, touching his very soul. Tears fell down as he started crying hysterically, "I-I-I am sorry...I'm very sorry !" He used his hands to muffle the scream that came through his mouth. All the pain, suffering and sadness, that has been hidden deep inside his soul, came out like a gushing fountain.
He screamed and thrashed around room, howling a wounded beast and finally broke down in the middle of the room. It was only thanks to sound isolation magecraft applied in the room that prevented his screams from going outside or else whole Novum Chaldea would heard it.
He continued to whimper while crouching wishing for someone take his pain away even while knowing the futility of his wish.
Just as he was about sink even deeper he felt a pair of soft slender arms embracing him. The embrace that reminded him of his mother's embrace, a memory long forgotten or even suppressed, felt comforting to his core.
"Ufufufufufu.....How much of a pitifully helpless child you are master~ Running away on your own at this age~"
A very sensual and sweet voice sounded just next to his ear followed by the scent of flowers and honeydews. He didn't react to it. He knew who that voice belonged to as well as the scent from his experience. As much as his logical part of mind wanted to respond with a calm and controlled tone as he his usual strategy while dealing with her, he was simply unable to as he was already deep within his own darkness, his own sins.
Kiara Sessyoin, The Devilish Bodhisattva and the human form of Beast lll, even if he was supposed to have forgotten (probably BB must have done something to make him remember this minor and one another major detail, perhaps only to see how her 'senpai' will react with this information, just like she usually did), continue to embrace him. For as much apprehensive he was usually around her even if he kept it hidden which no doubt have already been known to Kiara since day 1, she was the one who would usually help in checking the staff's metal health and her excellent skill in that profession has helped very much in keeping the staff mentally sane in this impossible situation, her presence atleast gave him hope that perhaps she can help him deal with his sins.
She continued, "Master~ Are you sure you should be thinking about your mere fantasies instead of focusing on the more important stuff?"
This however shocked Ritsuka as he had expected her to perhaps distract him with something other or console him even. He never expected her to actually dismiss his sins as mere fantasies. Suddenly all he felt was anger towards her. Pure sheer rage coursed through his veins. All those lives, all those sufferings, all those wishes to live was being dismissed as mere fantasy?! Before he could do anything drastic, Kiara's sensual voice sounded again.
"You shouldn't focus on such thoughts Master~ Being a selfish man is a big turn off and won't make you popular with women you know~"
She continued, "After all if you focused on such trivial stuff who will take care of Mash and her guilt~" Those words set a shock in Ritsuka's mind.
"Mashu?...." The name was perhaps effective as Ritsuka could feel the control of his body, which he had lost came back to him.
Kiara gave another beautiful smile, "Yes Master. If you do not go back soon, Mash will also start to wallop in her guilty thoughts. It's only your constant companionship that is ensuring mash does not fall to her guilt. "
Kiara stood up and Ritsuka turned his face towards her. Her garbs wasn't her nun uniform, if it can be called a nun's uniform, but her revealing white form with her demon horns.
She started, "What you have done wasn't technically the first time and it certainly won't be the last. You will continue to be wounded by your own actions and your own choices however that itself is how humanity is and will be. You are all but beasts true to your deepest instincts no matter how they manifest and you shall be living with them till the end of the times."
From here her tone took a sharp edge, "However Mash is a pure being, a true white slate which is now turning black due to your choice Master. It was your decision to resist the Alien God's Plan and now you are simply experiencing results of it."
Silence. All Ritsuka could do was hang his head in shame. Every word of Kiara stung and hurt more than a berserker's hit. he couldn't even deny her as she is correct. The choice to resist was his own and he couldn't even bear the result?! How ashamed he was of himself at this moment.
Kiara, as if not noticing, continued, "That is why Master you should stop wasting your time, dwelling on the result of your choice and how it affects yourself. You should instead focus on controlling the effects your choices has on others."
She went silent. Ritsuka on the other hand, stood up with some effort. His face a mess of tears and snot, yet the small sad smile on face spoke another story.
Ritsuka said, "Indeed, you are correct. I don't have time to squander. I still....have to continue with this pain, no matter the scars and wound this body has now, for it still has a lot to bear and experience."
Ritsuka then unsteadily started to walk towards the door and opened it. He paused and said, "As much as I want to thank you, this is not the time yet."
He went out and shut the door behind him. Walking through the corridor he used a handkerchief to whip his face clean. He then noticed Astolfo running towards him. As soon as Astolfo reached him, he jumped towards Ritsuka while screaming in joy, "MAASTAAA~".
Then he started to check every nook and cranny, "Master! Are you ok?! We were worried that we suddenly can't contact you and you disappeared without telling anyone! Mash is getting almost hysteric that even Sir Lancelot is afraid to go near her."
Ritsuka assured Astolfo that he is perfectly fine and stated to hurry towards the cafeteria where everyone has gathered. Seeing Ritsuka hurry toward cafeteria, Astolfo couldn't hide the worry in his eyes. All he could do now is follow his master and share his burden if possible.
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[Back in the room]
Kiara stood at her place, smiling charmingly and said to herself.
"Ufufufufufufu.....I wonder till how long can your body hold with that shattered mind of yours. This time I was able to save you from drowning but next time...I'm afriad I won't be able to resist drowning you even deeper Master~"
A Dark shadow behind her appeared and said "Hah! Remember this clearly Beast! My Co-Conspirator shall have my vengeful flame for his protection all the time."
The shadow the disappeared leaving Kiara alone. Kiara smiled, "That is only if Master will remain inside your protective flames, King Of Cavern. His choices however....Ufufufufufufufufufu".
A bunch of ghostly white hands appeared from her shadow, wrapping around her and receeded back, taking their mistress with them.
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Author note: This is the result of a sudden inspiration that has been in my mind for quite sometime. I love sad FGO Comic and one of them inspired me to write this. As this is just for fun, I might perhaps compile my inspirations and write them down in better quality(I wrote this in the dead midnight so yeah I decided to be lazy but if get some time, I will flesh out the dailogues between Kiara and Ritsuka and Kiara and Dantes more). Mislead Out.