That day when everything became undone, but I have no regret because I've been with the one I love.
In mid-December, I went to work, finished my shift, and walked through the streets of Tokyo, feeling the chills of the still-blowing cold air wrapping around my body.
Every people must have a love life once in their life, but in my case, it was quite different, you see I've been with my lover fascinated to death, She was the fairest woman I have ever seen, she has these flushed chubby cheeks, and this long strand of hair that is over her shoulders, hazel haired, and she had fair skin and quite a long eyelashes, and her chestnut brownish eyes that captivates me the most, lastly her cute little nose.
We have been together for about 3 months at least, I met her when I moved to the apartment where coincidentally she lives, she was like a goddess lost in the mortal world, but people will always be envious of others, The rumors I always heard is that she's not what she looks like, In this world, there are two types of people, One who Is fascinated to the God of death, Thanatos, One sign is that they are gazing at the thin air looking at someone they can only see, and the one who keeps the path of life, Eros, but not everyone seduced by the God of death is the same, At some point, they will find their path on track, but for the severe cases, They will submit their life to the God of death, and the one I love was the one always finding to end her life.
After walking for a while I was in front of a flower shop, they were selling a bunch of different flowers, but I remembered her favorite lycoris, and I decided to buy her chocolates, she likes sweet things. After paying I was heading home, I could my heart throbbing in fear in my ears, I just wanted to have a normal life, but why?! It was 10:39 am today I receive a message from her it only contains "goodbye" but I knew otherwise.
I could feel my muscles weakening and my breathing became difficult, but it doesn't matter, she was all that mattered, I arrived at our apartment after running a mile, If I lost her for real, what would have become of me?
Tears are falling from my eyes as I ran towards the door, and my heartbeat hasn't stopped calm down a bit, I climbed up the stairs into the rooftop, my hands still trembling, I opened the door slowly, and there she is, standing behind the fence looking at me, I slowly walked to her, I could feel my footsteps is leading me somewhere I didn't want to admit.
I looked at her eyes, it was so beautiful yet so empty, like empty husks, I took her hands but she was resisting, I hold her hands tighter without realizing it, and she looks at me with her watery eyes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you."
"Stop it, let me go." She said as she was crying
For the longest time, I was jealous of the God of death taking my lover's attention, ridiculous as it seems but I am getting tired of living like this, why couldn't she be normal for once? Today was not the only day she has done this, every day after my shift is done, she always texts me, at the rooftop, standing behind the fence not saying anything just staring at me, I couldn't help back but just wonder, what was her purpose for calling me over and over again. and after I always felt something heavy and unknown feeling in my heart. I opened my eyes once again, what was so bad about death, after I utter those words, I suddenly no longer felt the heaviness in my heart, I want to die, I want to die quickly, I muttered to her, she smiled at me all of the sudden, the smile I was longing for a long time, I looked at her once again her eyes it was no longer empty, It was so full of life, I was blinded the whole time, She doesn't want me to save her, she wanted me to come along with her.
"... So You've Finally realized? She mumbled in my ears like a melody.
I jumped over the fence and takes her hand, her hands were cold against the sultry air.
It was foolish of me to die for such a ridiculous reason as if I've lived a happy one, I always knew something weird going on with her, it's not that she was fascinated by death, she was the " death" herself, There are many rumors about her it was so sketchy like it was so unbelievable, every one that passes by our room has this confused face, and they say the same words, "Who are you talking to?" They said, she was right there I demanded, but they never listen as if I'm some weirdo, but... Now I understand, there is also another sign that those who were seduced by the God of death, You can see the god itself, it lingers in your heart, the one thing you desired the most that he will take form in, in my case, I was always alone and just a coward that can't take his own life, so I just need some encouragement and for at least I won't die alone, but I never knew that I was tempted and she was my "reaper of death"
The air was sultry against our bodies, as we fall off the building, I could feel my life flashing before my eyes, it was so beautiful, death was so beautiful.
'The seeker and his reaper' death is what connects us.