"Oh, come on. It had to be that day?" I say angrily, staring at the paper while I sat next to my dad at the table.
"We'll figure this out, Ruby. It'll be fine." My dad says, pulling me into his shoulder.
"I guess so." I say gloomily, not wanting to miss my boyfriend's eighteenth birthday. "Should I go ask him if he prefers a birthday celebration before or after his birthday?" I ask my dad.
"You can." He says, nodding.
"Alright, I'll go ask him. If I'm not back in 30 minutes then we're either just talking or watching a movie." I say and my dad nods as I leave the kitchen and head upstairs.
Once I get upstairs, I walk into my room and through the mirror, seeing Eli sitting on the couch staring at the blank television screen. "Hey." He says, looking over at me.
"Hey." I say. "I have a question for you."
"Ok." He says, gaining curiosity.
"Would you prefer your birthday celebration before or after your birthday?" I ask him and he thinks about it.
"Before." He says. "Gives me less time to wait." He says happily.
"I can't believe you're already turning eighteen!" I gush, practically bouncing up and down.
"Me neither."
"Wait, since you're kind of- uh, dead I guess, how would this work?" I ask, confusion clear on my face.
"I don't know. I guess we can just say that I'm still turning eighteen either way." He says with a grin.
"Yeah, I guess so." I say, smiling a little bit.
"Well, alright." He says, awkwardly clearing his throat.
"Oh I completely forgot to tell you the whole reason I asked you that question. For annoyingly and stupidly unnecessary reasons, the second date we were given for court is your birthday but it's pretty much the entire day until like five in the evening." I say. "Stupid court." I mutter, looking at my feet.
"Hey." He says, causing me to look back up at him. "It's alright." He says, patting the seat beside him.
I eagerly sprint over to him and jump onto the couch, and put my legs over his lap as my head rests on the armrest.
He puts his arm up around the top of the couch and I sit up, adjusting my legs an inch diagonally and snuggle into his side, my head resting on his collarbone.
"Eli." I whisper, my eyes slowly making their ways shut. "Can you call my dad from my phone and tell him I'm tired and can't stay awake much longer?" I ask him, serious about not being able to stay awake much longer.
"Sure." He says quietly, grabbing my phone from beside me and the last thing I hear is him dialing my dad's number before my eyes are shut and I begin dreaming.
I sit at the table in the kitchen and my mother and father sit either across from me or next to me, staring intently at my mother's fresh, beautiful pancakes drizzled with syrup, powdered sugar, and whipped cream. I helped.
"Mommy, can we go to the park today?" I ask her smiling face as she cuts her pancakes carefully.
"Sure honey, we can get ice cream along the way too." She says, smiling at me while my father beams at his stack of maybe three or six pancakes.
"Ruby how old are you now?" Daddy asks, smiling at my grin.
"Four." I says, holding up five fingers, two on my left hand and three on my right.
"Oh my goodness, Ruby. You're making me feel so old." Mommy says, chuckling.
"Hey. Stop making me feel old now, Becky." Daddy says jokingly, nudging her shoulder after using her nickname.
Mommy rolls her eyes while grinning wildly at Daddy who uses a grin but only one side of his mouth is up, making him look mischievous.
Daddy wiggles his fingers into mommy's waist and she giggles, nearly cackling. "Stop! Stop!" She screams, struggling to get out of his grip. I giggle with her at my daddy who just won't stop tickling her.
"Stop!" She growls loudly, knocking a glass down from the table as she yanks out of Daddy's grip and storms to the kitchen doorway. "I'm so sick and tired of you both!" She screams, rattling the entire house.
And she was never nice again.
That was my fourth birthday. And then the day before my first day of preschool it got worse. My dad wasn't home but my mom was.
I was sitting on the couch drawing in my notebook while watching TV and my mom sat in the kitchen on a stool probably doing things for work. It went to commercials on the TV and I jump up from my spot on the couch and run into the kitchen to my mom, notebook in hand.
"Mommy! Look what I did!" I squeal to her and she looks up from her papers with a scowl on her face.
She slaps the notebook out of my hand and it clatters onto the ground, papers flying everywhere. "What did I tell you about interrupting my work? Get in the basement." She says angrily. "Now."
I shake my head and back into a corner of the kitchen. "Basement. Now!" She screams at me.
She walks over to me a swings her hand towards my face, slapping my cheek hard as a tear falls quickly down my opposite cheek. She takes me by the shoulders and throws me against the wall.
That was the start of her aggression.
I jolt awake, panting as sweat drips down my forehead and look quickly across my surroundings. Someone has a grip on my shoulder and I yank quickly out of it and tumble onto the floor.
My head hits what I think is a table and my vision doesn't clear up at all, leaving my vision blurry. Something starts moving towards me as angry and frustrated tears fall from my eyes and I stand up, wobbling and run a few steps to my right before tripping and falling onto my butt.
I hear someone yelling my name at me and I try to scoot backwards but they grab my wrists and pin them on the ground beside each of my legs. "Let me go!" I scream, still unaware of what's going on.
"Ruby! Hey! Shh. Your dad's probably sleeping. It's okay, shh." Someone tries comforting me and I put my hands on my face, hoping I'll be able to see soon.
My vision sort of clears and I see bright blue eyes and brown hair sitting in front of me, eyes filled with panic. "Eli?" I whisper to him.
"Yeah, it's me. It's okay, Ruby." He says quietly, and sits next to me, pulling me into his side.
I lean into his side and cry. I never cry, but the shock of the nightmare I haven't had in years seeps into my reality after so long.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asks after I sober up.
"Not really." I say honestly.
"Are you willing to try going back to sleep? It's three in the morning." He asks.
"I uh, guess so. I haven't had a nightmare in years and it probably won't happen again since my mother isn't showing her face at this house again." I say, becoming exhausted.
"Alright." He says, yawning? I thought he didn't need sleep?
The thought slips my mind as he lifts me and carries me bridal style to the couch and sets me down. He slips a blanket over top of me and sits down where I can lay my legs on his lap.
I drift off slowly into an endlessly comforting sleep, knowing I have someone always by my side. I then start dreaming a good dream this time.
"Ruby! Time for your first day of school! Come get ready!" My dad yells up the stairs, his voice carrying into my room as my little voice yawns.
I sit up and slip off of my bed, grabbing my clothes my dad picked out for me on the way.
Slipping on my small white converse, I smile and giggle at myself in the mirror. Daddy picked me a white dress with black polka dots and short black sleeves. The skirt dangles just below my knees and my pale skin barely shows against my waist length blonde hair and bright green eyes.
I twirl and giggle again as the skirt flies up as I spin. "Ruby! You're going to be late!" Daddy yells again.
"Sorry daddy!" I squeal and smile at my dress again.
I waddle down the stairs carefully and at the bottom I'm met by my lunchbox sitting by the front door as I run to the kitchen for breakfast.
Daddy turns around and looks at me, his tall structure towering over me. "Hi, daddy!" I squeal.
"Well aren't you the brightest little flower in the garden this morning?" He says, smiling at me with a plate of pancakes sitting in his hand.
"Pancakes!" I scream, running over to the table and daddy sets them on the table and pulls my chair out for me. I climb onto it and dig in to my mini pancakes daddy made for me. I also notice a glass of apple juice sitting just by the plate. "Apple juice!" I scream again and daddy chuckles.
"Yes, Ruby. Only the best for my favorite daughter on her first day of school!" He says, and my face scrunches up in confusion.
"But I'm your only daughter." I say and he chuckles again.
"Yes you are, Ruby." He says, smiling at me as I keep shoveling mini pancakes into my mouth.
🌼🌼🌼
"Bye daddy! I'll see you after school!" I yell to daddy who's in the car waving bye to me.
"Bye Ruby, love you!" He yells back.
"Love you too Daddy!" I yell back.
On the playground, I sit on the swings alone, watching the clouds stand still in the sky.
"Hi." A boy says from beside me, and he hops onto the swing sitting still next to mine.
"Hi." I say with curiosity. "What's your name?" I ask him, my face tilting to the side.
"My name is Eli. What's your name?" He asks.
"My name is Ruby. Wanna be my friend?" I ask.
"Yes. You are very pretty, do you know that?" He asks, now off of the swing and by my side, standing shyly on the mulch.
"No I didn't. Thank you!" I say, smiling, my cheeks also heating up at the compliment.
"Let's go play on the jungle gym!" My new friend says excitingly.
"Okay." I say, jumping off of the swing and following him to the rest of the playground as he runs down the path.
I wake up to sunlight stretching it's way through the room and I open my eyes to see Eli laying opposite of me on the couch, our legs tangling in the middle. He has half of the blanket on him too, sharing the other half with me.
He's staring at the TV, eyes nearly as he squints to see it in his position.
"Hey." I speak quietly and his head turns towards me.
"Hey." He says, also enjoying the quietness of the room.
"Guess what I dreamed about the rest of the night." I say, thinking back to meeting him in preschool.
"What?" He asks, wondering what I dreamed about that could be so much of his interest.
"Our first day of preschool." I say, laughing quietly.
He laughs. "Good times." He says, smiling at the memory.
"And look at us now." I say, laughing after sitting up.
"We were so different." He says, searching his mind for how we were as four year olds.
"Yeah, very different." I say, once again laughing.