He suddenly stopped talking to me.
It's been a month now ,almost 2 actually..I counted. No argument ,no nothing. I just woke up one morning and it was all gone. I've been kinda down lately. I don't know ,I think I'm going back to being the sad me (ain't that dramatic). I then started comforting myself by coming up with possible explanations. "Maybe he got annoyed of me" , I said ,yeah..I mean I am a bit annoying sometimes. "Or maybe he's just busy" ,was the second possible explanation I came up with..(yea right ,for 2 months?!)..You know what, I'm the dumb one. I shouldn't have gotten attached to him so quickly. No ,I'm not attached. We only talked on the phone..I can't be attached. *sigh* I don't know what I did wrong ,maybe I angered him somehow. I don't know. Look at me making excuses for him. Yea, I'm definitely attached..Now that explains this feeling of hurt I suddenly started feeling. Come to think of it ,I've never really felt this way before. Yeah ,a lot of people disappointed me before ,a lot of people stabbed me in the back before and a lot of people left me when I needed them the most..but I've never felt like this. It's weird..actually.
My mornings stopped being all jolly. I cried myself to sleep on some nights (I'm not dramatic-_-..Leave me alone!) I felt like I was going crazy ,it was weird. I think I also started hating him for some reason. I went from listening to every single song he ever sent me ,to deleting every trace of his existence on my phone. I knew I was going to regret it later on but I did it anyway. How would you feel if someone made you feel this way without your consent? How would you feel if someone made you unbelievably happy one minute and took it all away the next? I didn't want to feel this way because I knew my over thinking would also go up a hectare. I so wish I could just stop thinking for a minute..For just a teeny tiny minute. Maybe things could be a whole lot better-_-. Or maybe he simply wanted to drive me away since I was getting too close ,but then if he wanted to drive me away he could've just said so..He only just had to say : "Oh hey..uhm..It was all nice and stuff but uh could you like give me some space for a while..or longer than a while please". And I was gonna be like " Uhm sure..Of course..Hehe it's no biggie". And it would've been the peaceful end. It's that simple (As if). Then maybe everything would've been alright..(Yea I don't think so :/ )
At least not everything was bad. My sister had to make a decision and we ended up moving out of my step-dad's place. I wouldn't say things have been different since then given the fact that I'm still living up to my old routine : Wake up ,Bath ,Go to school ,Come back ,Study/Read ,Bath ,Sleep and Repeat (Oh and add a bit of goofy dancing to random music once in a while). Boring right? Hehe I don't think so..I think the word comfortable best suits it. And I'm not gonna change it anytime soon..Neverr!
My bestie has been here for me so far. She probably thinks I'm in love or something (which is false because I don't believe in love and I can't be in love since I don't believe in love-_-) "Well you're in love missy", she answered back after one of my rumblings during breaktime about why I don't believe in love. I shot back a somewhat annoyed and bored look at her and she giggled ,probably realizing I was still fishing for some clever line to use. "Maybe it's just infatuation ,it can't be deeper than that" ,I answered confidently. I had written this line somewhere in my diary and it made sense to me. I was too young to be in love ,let alone with someone I never had any physical contact with. Plus we only talked for like a few months..A FEW MONTHS!On the phone..ON THE PHONE! I'm glad I emphasized those words. "Whatever you say Pam" ,she answered back with this sly smirk she knew I hated. I responded with the occasional annoyed/bored look I always gave her. "Put your pride aside Pam and go for it ", she said unexpectedly during the conversation. "Just talk to him..I know you want to" , she continued. I knew she was right. There was that thing in me that just wanted to go back even if I was going to look kinda desperate. "You won't look desperate" ,she said as if reading my mind. "What if he really doesn't want to talk to me? I don't want to be that girl you know" ,I answered. "Did you ask him if he didn't want to talk to you?" ,the smirk followed. "Well..." ,I drifted off. The only thing I had to do was to ask. I just had to ask but noo..What did I do?I took the dramatic path and made my own conclusions. (*sigh* I'd like to donate my brain please:/ ) Poor Mvelo probably thought I was the one who didn't wanna talk to him. "Fine ,I'll talk to him" ,I answered while rolling my eyes. "Great ,that's sorted..Now PLEASE stop talking about him..I've had enough! ", she half shouted. We both laughed loudly and got some stares from some of our classmates. I understood her frustration. I had promised to stop mentioning Mvelo's name a month ago but that only lasted for like a week and the rest was history. I liked torturing her like that since she basically didn't like it when someone seemed to take her place. "I don't like it when someone wants to take my place" .That's exactly how she said it. I always laugh when she gets all jealous for no reason. Well she also laughs when I get all jealous too so don't blame me-_-.
The day ended with me giggling about like no one's business, a phone on my hand and a feeling I wanted to hold on to forever.