Her first memories were among her brothers and sisters. Busily crowding around each other as their mother carried them on her back. Through an immensely thick forest with even thicker beams of harsh lights piercing the holes in the foliage like blades of light. It was between these lights and shadows, that she had fallen off her mother's back and before she knew it, her mother and her family had moved on without her. She had tried looking for them but she had only gotten more and more lost. So she had to learn to hunt on her own. To live on her own. First a few lizards and bugs. Then she began to develop webbing and tried to find ways to use it but she was simply too clumsy. Nothing seemed to work. But her frustrations were always second to her loneliness. She had met a ton of different residents of her woods, some she could eat, some she almost died interacting with. But she could still remember the halcyon days of lying on her mother's back with her brothers and sisters and the memory every so often would make her cry. Sometimes in pain, sometimes to try and find her family again. But no one would find her.
Until one day the girl found an eccentric. Her web was woven large and beautiful but it caught no prey nor monsters. Instead there was an assortment of books. Human books that she had taken from various wrecks of human carriages. Or so she claimed. She claimed she never actually attacked humans but the girl could not imagine her getting this many books from just leftovers. She had found this eccentric by accident but her mastery of her webs drew the child out of the shadows to try and ask her about how to weave her own webs. Instead the eccentric enthusiastically invited her and began teaching all sorts of things.
All sorts of things about humans. She was oddly interested in these creatures. Always reading those books and coming back with more books from out of nowhere. She learned about how they lived, how they fought and, of most interest to the eccentric, how they used magic. Through these books, this eccentric wove spells more beautiful than her webs and this, more than webs, was what she wanted to teach the child. The lonely child was eager to learn anything, to be with anyone but she couldn't read the humans' language so the eccentric often read it to her. The warm days in between her arms as she read off what the child trusted was written in the pages she couldn't read. That was how the eccentric spider became her teacher.
Her teacher was not her mother. And though she asked a few times, she never agreed to be her mother, surrogate or otherwise. They were just teacher and student. That was how she liked it. And that was how the child liked it. She learned a lot from her teacher. And in exchange, the child would do some hunting to provide for the two of them whenever her teacher became too absorbed to even take care of herself properly. Her teacher was always thankful, always kind, always wise. And always...never meant to last.
Humans appeared. The child didn't know how, whenever her eccentric teacher invited them or if they had just come across her web. But they were merciless. They slashed her webs, burned her books. And though she tried to fight back, they were too strong. They stabbed her with spears and swords and spells til she could no longer move her twisted body. The child, though, was not killed. She was caged and taken away. Til the last minute, the child had cried out for her teacher to rescue her. To be with her. But til her last moments, all she could do was smile a reassuring smile at her. She didn't know why. Perhaps that was why they called her an eccentric.
The humans caged the child and declawed her. She went through extensive torture to make her adverse to attacking humans. Then she was branded with magic. Then she was left with that man. That man that just...kept her. In poor conditions. Barely on the edge of life. Until she was sold. First to a wealthy monster collector. He put her in a room that vaguely resembled her home. But there was a big window into it, presenting a good viewing opportunity and little privacy. This man demanded a beautiful web from her but the child still had not learned how to make a web as beautiful as those she's seen. She tried but nothing she did seemed satisfactory. So she was returned.
The next exotic monster collector did not want her to make a web. He wanted her to fight. The child was used to hunting on her own so she thought she might be able to earn a home for herself. But the monsters she was shown were terrifying. Some simply shook off her magic attacks. She fought. Even defeated a few. But yet again, she disappointed. So she was sent back once again.
The child's next home was a family. One that, for some reason, wanted a monster for a child. Or rather, the father wanted one. His wife and child were welcoming at first but it was clear they weren't entirely comfortable with the new addition. The human child was nice at first but perhaps she quickly grew disdainful of her new sibling. Perhaps it was because half of her was inhuman. Perhaps it was because the young slave had trouble remembering the girl's human name properly. Disdain turned to bullying but the child believed that her time there was normal. Until one day her sister pushed her. It seemed like normal roughhousing at first so the child pushed back. Unfortunately her extra arms sliced through her sister's pretty dress and drew slight blood. It was shallow, not even likely to leave a mark once healed. But it was all that was needed for the mother and child to call her a full on monster and despite her eccentric father fighting for her and the child apologizing multiple times, she was kicked out once again.
At this point the people who wanted her, wanted a genuine monster, had dried up. For what felt like a long time, the child laid in rags, given less than any of her former homes. Meanwhile her slaver grew more and more frustrated at what he thought was an easy exotic sell rot away in his care. He tried to teach her tricks or dress up in various ways but few wanted a giant spider like her. So he began planning with her. Some way to hide her spider half so he could sell her as just a normal human child. He worked very closely with a child, taking great effort to help her. So she developed the spirit doll for him. A way to hide her spider half. It wasn't exactly a masterful spell, neither of them were particularly masters of magic. But with some practice, the child was now almost indistinguishable from a human.
So she was bought again. Like before, as a daughter to a wealthy elderly couple. They loved her. They spoiled her. The child had never seen humans act like this around her. Treat her like this. Look at her like this. Everything seemed perfect. Until a wayward strand got stuck and her disguise was unraveled. Love turned to outrage, hate and disgust. And she was thrown out to get picked up by the one person who had always been there for her but never once loved her.
They improved her spell so that it wouldn't happen again. But her next family didn't want a daughter. They wanted a slave. So she was put to work. A maid as young as her was bound to make a few mistakes but deep down she fretted over her disguise. She pulled it tighter and tighter, desperate to hide away her disgusting spider half. But it was the work she couldn't keep up with. She was clumsy, tripping often, breaking often and had trouble keeping up with her fellow waitstaff. She was never found out. But when she broke one plate too many, she was driven off.
Her slaver was growing frustrated with her and told her, demanded the child to improve her spirit doll. But neither of them really knew how to better improve a spell like this. So she just pulled the strings tighter. Tried to make it more sensitive. But it just made it even harder for her to move.
Her next time at a family was so quick she barely remembered it. She had so much trouble, had so much of a hard time moving that she was quickly returned much to her slaver's irritation. He yelled at her. Demanded her to improve but providing no help or resources to do so. So the child crushed her body with her own strings. If she could just move like a human, if she could hide away her monstrous half, she could finally find a home. Surely she could.
But she failed again and again. Sometimes her spell would fail and she would get discovered. Sometimes her family would suspect her of something and discover her true nature even by pure accident. Most of the time, the child just couldn't preform well enough. She just wasn't human enough. Every time she returned to the slaver, the slaver would yell at her and punish her. The man who once so helpfully tried to find a home for her was now very unhelpfully abusing her. At one point where the child's mind was reaching her wits end, she made another mistake at a family's house. And she would get yelled at again like many time before. But she had enough. She exploded out of her spirit doll, roaring wildly like a wild animal. Screeching like the monster she was until she was left alone. Finally left alone. Until her slaver picked her up again.
He didn't yell at her. Barely so much as acknowledged her. He just brought her back and put her away. What connection they had was gone now. He didn't care about her. Didn't care about finding a home for her. Didn't even care about making a profit off her. She was just left in the back. Left to rot. The child calmed down again not long afterward and the change in treatment was clear. She tried apologizing. Tried to get the only human she knew well to acknowledge her again. But she was mistaken. He had never loved her. And he was done trying with her. Once that became clear the only thing for the child left to do was cry until her tears dried up.
For years she laid there rotting, dying, barely alive. Doing nothing but dying slowly. Like some sort of cruel euthanization. And the child was done trying. She had lost so much. Her life was the last and only thing she had left. And if she had the courage, she'd have lost it sooner if she could. She didn't even know who she was. She had many names and identities but none ever stuck around long enough. Not even her teacher had given her a name. And now there wasn't any chance her to find one. If only she hadn't fallen off her mother's back. If only she had tried so much harder with that one family. Made one less mistake with that other family. If only...if only.
"Ara-…...Aranea!"
Aranea was shaken awake. The first thing she was aware of was that she had been crying. But the memory of why she had been was slowly disappearing like a dream. And the only thing left was the concerned look of Corissa hanging above her.
"Are you okay, dear?"
A primal response immediately told her to deny everything. She was fine. She will be fine. She will always be fine. Just don't look at her. Let her be alone. Let her just be here and as would do her best not to stand out.
But she soon remembered who she was. What had happened. And the child squeaked weakly,
"I don't know…"
Sensing her sadness, Corissa wrapped up Aranea in her arms, picking her up with her fragile human arms. Aranea tried to hide her spider appendages but soon remembered that it was too late to do something like that. So she wrapped them around Corissa to return her hug. She tried to be gentle, tried not to damage the human but Corissa only seemed to be paying attention to how tightly she could hold onto Aranea in her own arms. Aranea clung to this warmth desperately. She had never been with someone this long. Never been outside of her cage for this long. Never done as much as she had this path month. And she didn't want to lose any of it again.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Corissa asked. Open, inviting. But also gentle, soft and open-minded.
"No..." Aranea slowly shook her head.
"Okay. Do you want to talk to Roko about it?"
Roko. He was by all accounts a bad father. Mostly focused on his work. Emotionally distant to even his friends. But he was sociable enough and would always find the time if you needed something from him. So even when he wasn't there, he still felt like he was there. Only a search away. And whatever you needed him for, he'd find someway to resolve it. But she also felt like this wasn't something worth bothering him about. He'd want to know and Aranea wanted to tell him. But she also didn't want to bother him too much. So she shook her head again.
"...Did you know, Aranea? You kind of have a sister."
"Really?" Aranea looked up curiously.
"Well, in a way." Corissa smiled, "We have a friend back at school around your age. Her name is Aida. She...lost her family and home to a mob of monsters. She fought all alone for a long time. She's also pretty lonely so I hope you'll be friends with her if you ever meet each other."
"Is she okay with monsters like me?" Aranea asked.
"She lived in a forest full of monsters so I don't think she'll be that surprised by you. She's a little sour at first but she's really sweet inside."
"...Okay...I can try."
"Good!" Corissa patted her head, "I'm sure you two will get along great! Don't worry and be yourself!"
"Okay..."
As Aranea slowly began to drift back to sleep in her arms, Corissa continued to speak gently to her,
"No matter what happened in the past, I'm glad you're here right now. I'm happy we met."
Aranea wanted to cry. But she didn't. She was already too sleepy to do much more than rest. So the spider child tucked Corissa's words in the corner of her heart and drifted off to a much nicer dream.